Forgiven (9 page)

“That sounds perfect. Why don’t I pick the pizza up on my way over?” I asked.

“Great. Do you know where my apartment is?” she asked.

When I shook my head she told me which building was hers. I told her I would text her on my way there.

I walked her out of the library to the parking lot. “See ya tomorrow Angie,” I called as I headed over to my car.

“Bye Caleb.” She waved as she closed her car door.

I sat down in the driver’s seat of my car and leaned my head on the steering wheel. I had to figure out how to deal with my feelings for Angie before they got the better of me. She brought out emotions in me that I thought had been buried two years ago. I never expected to have these feelings again. Angie deserved better than me. I needed to find a way through this project because I wasn’t sure how long I could avoid how I felt. One of these days she was going to figure it out, and it scared me to death. Shit this was one big clusterfuck.

I sat up and started the car. I needed a beer, and to sit on the couch and relax. Josh was going to be pissed when he found out I agreed to go to her apartment. At some point he would figure it out, if he hadn’t already. I turned the radio on, hoping the music would help me clear my thoughts.

When I got back to the apartment, Josh was already there.

I hadn’t even closed the door before he started. “How’d it go?”

“Fine. What? Did you expect her to flip out when she saw me?” I asked.

He looked at me and laughed, “Well, yeah, since you obviously haven’t figured it out yet.”

I sat down on the couch. I was tired of this cryptic shit from him and Emily. “What the hell are you taking about?”

“You know for a smart guy, you are a real dumbass sometimes. Are you going to tell me that you really think that Angie just wants to be partners for the project?” he said annoyed. “And I can’t fucking believe that is all you want to be with her.”

“How many times do I have to go over this, it doesn’t matter what I want. I will not drag her into my fucked up life. She deserves better.” I said disgusted. I couldn’t believe we were going over this again.

He stood and walked over to stand in front of me “I get it, just admit you feel something more for her,” he demanded.

I scowled at him. “Will it get you off of my back?”

“YES!” he yelled.

I was really fucking annoyed right now, but the only way to get him off my back was to admit the truth, “Fine, I think she is sexy as hell and I would love to do more than work on a stupid fucking project with her! I want to take her to dinner and spoil her the way she deserves to be. I want her more than I have ever wanted a woman. But it doesn’t change anything so why should I dwell on something I can’t have,” I growled. I threw my head against the back of the couch in frustration.

“Finally, honesty!” Josh paused like there was something he wanted to say, but wasn’t sure if he should. “What if her life wasn’t all roses and butterflies either? Would that change your mind?”

I sat up straight, watching Josh. How could her life not have been wonderful growing up? Mine had been. When I really thought about it, my life was pretty perfect until that night. She was way too perfect to have had some fucked up childhood. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Josh moved back over to the chair he had gotten up from. “Never mind, dude, forget I said anything.”

“No way asshole, you can’t make statements like that and not explain,” I demanded. There was no way he wasn’t going to tell me. He didn’t get to demand that I admit my feelings for Angie and then not explain what he was talking about.

“Look, I don’t know the details. All I know is Em was fucking pissed today. She called me twice to rip me a new one. Once this morning, and again today right before you got back,” he answered, and then stopped.

I looked at him expectantly.

He sighed, “From what I understand Angie didn’t have the best childhood. Emily wouldn’t tell me what happened, but she was clear about one thing—if you don’t stop screwing with Angie’s head she is totally gonna kick your ass. I wouldn’t doubt her, that girl is fierce when she is pissed.” He warned.

I dropped my head into my hands. What could have happened to her? She said earlier that she had wanted to get away from home. Why, I wondered. Did that have anything to do with what Josh mentioned before? What could she be running from? She deserved to be protected and loved—things I would’ve loved to do for her. I wanted to be her knight in shining armor. The only problem was I wasn’t a knight—I was more like a demon trying to steal her soul.

I looked up at him, “I had no idea.”

“I know, that’s why I told you. Now you see why you just need to admit your feelings for her, or stay the fuck away. From what Emily suggests, she’s had enough shit to deal with in her life, so she doesn’t need you piling it on too,” he replied.

How was I going to handle tomorrow? I looked away from him. “I’m supposed to meet her at her place tomorrow after workout to finish working on the project,” I admitted.

He gave me a disgusted look, “Do you really think that is a good idea? I saw you on Saturday—that’s some serious attraction you have to that girl. Speaking of that, you owe me for switching places with you,” he reminded me.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“Well I’m calling in payment—you better keep you goddamn hands to yourself tomorrow ‘cause I don’t want to listen to Em scream at me again. Even the girls I kick out of my bed in the morning have less venom in their veins,” he said with a scared look in his eye.

I chuckled, “Scared of a girl?”

“If we’re talking about Emily, then hell yeah!” he said seriously.

“We’re just going to work on the project, nothing else will happen,” I assured him.

“It better not,” he warned as he got up and walked into the kitchen. “Want a beer?”

“Sure,” I was going to need a drink while I tried to figure out how to keep my hands off Angie. The only thing I could hope for was that at least one of her roommates was there. Shit, this was not going be good.

Josh brought the beers out to the living room and sat back in the recliner. “Do you think Coach is still gonna be up my ass tomorrow?”

“I think that depends on whether or not you’ve caught up on your classes,” I said as I took a swig of my beer.

“Shit, then I better go get some of this fucking homework done, ‘cause there is no way I’m spending the weekend doing school work,” he grumbled.

“Big plans this weekend?”

“Don’t know yet, I just know they don’t include homework,” he replied.

“You got a point,” I agreed. “Guess I should get my shit done as well.” I finished my beer and took the bottle into the kitchen.

I grabbed my bag and headed to my room. I had a shitload of work to do before tomorrow. Opening my laptop, I got started. I pulled out my iPod and turned the music up loud.

I worked for a few hours before my eyes started to cross from reading. I decided to play some Xbox before going to bed.

I hear someone calling my name, but I can’t figure out where it’s coming from. “Caleb, Caleb.”

I keep looking around, there is nothing there. Suddenly I see her about 10 feet away. I run over to her as fast as I can. My body won’t go any faster, almost like I’m in slow motion. I can’t get to her fast enough. “I’m coming!”

When I get there, I can only see the pain in her eyes as they close and she whispers, “I’m sorry.”

SHIT! I bolted out of bed. I was covered in sweat and panting as I tried to catch my breath. What time was it? I looked at the clock—05:45. Holy fuck. I hadn’t gone to bed sober in so long that I’d forgotten how real the dreams were. I went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face, still breathing heavily. There was no way I wanted to go back to sleep, afraid of what my dreams might hold. Unfortunately, I knew I had to try—it was a workout day, plus I still had to meet up with Angie.

Finally after about an hour of tossing and turning, I was able to go back to sleep. Luckily I didn’t have any other dreams before my alarm went off.

I walked into the bathroom to get a shower and turned the water on while I shaved. I could see the bags under my eyes when I looked in the mirror. Fuck me, would I ever be able to sleep the night through without drinking until I passed out? I didn’t want to be the guy that needed alcohol to sleep, but that was a problem for another day—right now I had to worry about tonight. As much as I wanted to stay away from Angie, it got harder the more time I spent with her. Somehow I was going to have to find the willpower.

I rode over to campus by myself. I knew that Josh wouldn’t want to hang around campus while I went over to Angie’s apartment.

Chemistry seemed to take forever. I couldn’t keep my mind off of the way Angie had looked yesterday. All I could think about was sliding between her sexy legs and thrusting into her until we were both spent. Why couldn’t those types of dreams haunt me at night? Fuck, I needed to get it together. I was going over to her place to work, not spend time with her.

Finally, chemistry was over and I headed to history. Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I couldn’t wait to see her. When I walked into the classroom Angie wasn’t there, but Emily was.

“Hey Emily, where’s Angie?” I asked as I walked over to her. She was scowling at me.

“Why do you care? You’re just gonna keep fucking with her head, and I’m not about to let that happen,” she snapped.

“What the fuck, Emily? What have I done to her? I agreed to work with her on the project against my better judgment—” I growled before a hand on my shoulder stopped me.

“Stop it, you two. Em, I appreciate your concern, but everything’s fine,” she sighed, turning to me. “Caleb, are we still on for tonight?”

“Yeah. Angie—” I started.

“Look, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just get this done, tonight if possible,” she frowned. “I need to get ready before class starts,” she said as if she was dismissing me.

“Sure.” I walked back over to my normal seat. I hadn’t meant to say that shit, but Emily had been getting under my skin and I wasn’t sure how much more I could take from her before I really lost my temper.

Throughout the entire lecture I found myself glancing in Angie’s direction. Emily was shooting daggers out of her eyes at me. Every once in a while, I would catch Angie looking at me, while other times it seemed as if she was trying to avoid me. By the time class was over I knew one thing for sure. I wasn’t going to be able to avoid my feelings for much longer.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by, and before I knew it our workout was over. After a hot shower, I was ready to head over to Angie’s. I pulled out my phone as I walked to the car.

Me: Hey, leaving the field now.

Angie: Great see ya in a few

Me: Pizza special requests???

Angie: Anything but mushroom and anchovies

Me: Extra cheese w/ pepperoni?

Angie: Perfect

I ran over to my favorite pizza place before heading to Angie’s apartment. When I got there I rang the bell at the front of the building. Of course it was just my luck that Emily answered.

“Who is it?” Her voice came from the speaker on the wall.

“Emily, it’s Caleb. I‘m here to see Angie,” I replied.

“Whatever. I’m on my way out, so I’ll let you in when I come down.”

Great, how long was I going to have to wait for her? After about two minutes she came down the stairs and opened the door.

She stopped and held the door for me to go in, but not before giving me a warning. “I’m not sure what is going on with you and her, but what I do know is that she has been hurt enough in her life and doesn’t need your shit. Get the project done, but if you cause her anymore problems, I
will
kick your ass,” she warned as she walked toward the parking lot.

I walked up the stairs to the apartment and knocked on the door, hoping Angie’s other roommates were home. A petite blonde opened up the door. “Hi Caleb,” she said as she let me into the apartment.

“How did you know—?” I started to ask.

“Please, everyone knows who you are,” she laughed. “Football’s newest rising star. Plus, we’ve had many conversations about you in this apartment over the last week.”

I shook my head, “Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not,” she laughed again.

“Great,” I mumbled.

She smile at me, “I’m Heather, by the way.” She held out her hand to me.

“Nice to meet you Heather.” I answered, shaking her hand.

“Angie, you’ve got company,” she yelled down the hall, disappearing into the first room on the left. Angie came out of the first room on the right, and one look at her and my heartbeat sped up. She’d looked amazing in the library, but today—in just jeans and sweater—she was downright enticing. I could see her curves, but they still left plenty to imagination. And shit, my imagination was running wild.

“Hey Caleb,” she said with a frown.

Shit, was she still mad about earlier? I had to fix this somehow, but before I had a chance to say anything, Heather came bouncing out of her room. “I’m outta here. I’m picking Jillian up from work, then we’re heading to dinner. Are you meeting us out later?”

Holy shit, she was like Speedy-fucking-Gonzales. I could barely keep up with her.

“Probably not, I really want to get this project done tonight,” Angie answered.

“Okay, have fun and behave yourselves,” she replied with a wink before she blew out the door.

Angie just shook her head and came over to grab the pizza from me. She took it to the kitchen counter and got some plates.

“What do you want to drink?” she asked as she grabbed a couple of glasses from the cabinet.

“Whatever,” I shrugged.

“Is diet soda okay?” She asked, looking into the fridge.

“That’s fine,” I answered, watching her.

Wow, things were really awkward. I needed to figure out how to get us back to how we were in the library yesterday.

“So, how did you meet Heather?” I asked hoping she would help me break the uncomfortable silence.