Fragments: Poems, Intimate Notes, Letters (8 page)

Please don’t talk about me when I’m gone

You’re an old smoothie

Body and soul?

Who’s sorry now

Easy living

When I’m not near the boy I Love 259

While we’re young 262

I know where I’m going and who’s going with me?

I cried for you

You do something

The gentleman is a dope

I’ll never be the same

He’s funny that way

too marvelous for words

Don’t worry about me

What is there to say

But not for me

Easy to love

Have you ever been lonely

I’ve got you under my skin

Note: This is a set of song titles. Numbers 259 and 262 are the corresponding numbers to a fake book, or an anthology of lyrics and chord progressions from which musicians could improvise. It is not known why Marilyn made this list; possibly they were songs she wished to perform.

Dear Claude Claude,

That’s right—I know exactly what I’m doing and I know
mean

I’ve just written
Dear
Claude, Claude—
it’s because
meanwhile besides

“The way of a country man is hard, his training strict, his progress slow, his disappointments many.” If in fact he is to
survive
succeed he must
should
“
give it up
.” Are you prepared? I am interested only per one “borderline” to the other.
in knowing from one of course it’s
easier
simpler to be a member of the Mr. Johnson club because for when one could probably get kicked out of the club for stress,
or
st
r
ain or
exertion
as probably forbidden—

but then how is one to know since there are no rules I ask this question as a member of good standing of Borderline Anonymous also as a newly chartered member of the Mr. Johnson club. It’s easier even to be a member of the M.J. Club where for any kind of exertion, stress or strain you’re kicked out.

Is it/this true that I am under the right impression
My love to Hedda and Patty and Candy and Bammoo. Come back
if you haven’t come back from Port Jefferson yet (hope you’ve)—why don’t you.

You’re needed here.

looking forward to seeing you all

Love
Marilyn

P.S. In a few short days I’m sending you a reminder—to remind you
of something
of me mostly

This might
very well
serve as (the)/(a) possible watchword for some other weekend don’t you think or do you think I’ve gone too far

Re—reminder [drawing of envelope]

84 Remsen St.
Brooklyn
Heights

Notes:

Marilyn nicknamed her friend Norman Rosten “Claude” because he looked so much like the actor Claude Rains. He and his wife, Hedda, had a daughter called Patricia (Patty). At this time they lived in Brooklyn, at 84 Remsen Street.

Bam-Moo and Candy were the names of the Rostens’ dog and cat.

The Mr. Johnson club was invented by Norman Rosten and Marilyn; the name refers to Rosten’s play
Mister Johnson
, based on Joyce Cary’s novel, which embodied for Marilyn the spirit of innocence destroyed by cynicism and greed.

On the balcony of the Ambassador Hotel, New York, 1955 Marilyn Monroe with Truman Capote, New York, 1955

ITALIAN AGENDA

1955 or 1956

In an Italian diary engraved in green, Marilyn Monroe wrote down thoughts in free association in continuation of a kind of self-analysis she had begun to practice in the “record” notebook (she noticed with amusement her own Freudian slip when she wrote the first three letters of the name “Buddy” as “Bad”). It isn’t really known who the woman with big breasts was: perhaps her analyst, Dr. Hohenberg (mentioned on another page)? A salaried member of her circle? In any case, Marilyn remembered two traumatic moments: as a lonely child, when, despite the lies she told, a teacher was one of the only people who seemed to understand her; and an incident of sexual abuse for which Ida Martin, her foster mother, seemed to have taken her to task rather than consoling or helping her. It is likely that these pages correspond to work on repressed memory undertaken as part of her analysis with Dr. Hohenberg, which she started in February 1955. Her relationship with her third husband, Arthur Miller, seemed to be idyllic still, propelled as it was by strong desire and absolute confidence: there is no trace of either doubt or crisis.

She also evoked her relationship to fear, which she seemed to need to draw on for her acting but which terrorized her as well. The Peter whom she mentions twice as a source of fear and threat could well be Peter Lawford, whom she knew in the early 1950s, although it is not known with what degree of intimacy. Lawford later became John Kennedy’s brother-in law upon his marriage to Patricia Kennedy. Some years later Marilyn often saw the Lawford couple and visited their Santa Monica beach house several times.