GAY REALITY : THE TEAM GUIDO STORY (3 page)

BOOK: GAY REALITY : THE TEAM GUIDO STORY
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UNCOVERED—JOE  

AS RESERVED as Bill Bartek is, Joe Baldassare is easily his opposite. Excitable, animated, always talkative and entertaining. He is a fountain of details and anecdotes; no doubt the life of many a party. A hip shooter par excellence and someone you don’t want to cross. Competitive, perceptive, witty and, oh, so blunt.

“When I started at Georgia Tech I found so many guys from the south who were so utterly concerned about fucking a girl. I was shocked! It was a real thing with these guys. They somehow needed to prove their masculinity, but I knew that they lied quite often about having sex.

“I just went along with it, studying hard and staying under the radar; kind of in my own little world. But that didn’t last.

“This guy I roomed with never said or did anything of much consequence. He was one of the boasters about sexual conquests and we never really questioned each other, or even commented on personal things pertaining to each other.

“Then suddenly, without warning, in the middle of the night, he bolted up and said, ‘I know, I’ve figured it out! I’ve figured you out—you’re gay!’ I felt like my cover was broken. They had no evidence! Yet here it was smashing me right in the face. I was very, very concerned.

“I mean, I knew I was gay, but never for a moment did I think anyone else knew!”

THE LIFE—BILL  

“THE GAY lifestyle is certainly carefree. There are no rules. If you have a bad experience you can only blame yourself. It’s free-wheeling to say the least.

“I’ve always been creative. In that regard, along with a female partner, I opened a dress store in La Jolla. Retail is tough and in two years we sold it.

“For six months in New York City I worked as a fit model for Lee Jeans, but I really didn’t like it. I just wasn’t the type, so I came back to San Diego.

“From about ‘79 to ‘84, I had my first long-time lover. When it ended I felt very bitter about some financial stuff. Before long we settled things, but I was still angry about what had happened.

“The best thing that came out of the relationship is that he introduced me to real estate. Career-wise and socially, things could not have been better. For the very first time I was able to come out to complete strangers and along with doing some modeling for Ford, Target, Kodak and others, I learned the various facets of real estate.

“Life was so very good. I lived free because roommates paid me rent. I’d buy houses, do the re-modeling myself and then sell them for significant profits. Buy, fix up, sell. A formula that just kept working. I had no real goal, I just kept going. Things were great! So much so that I was totally carefree with money. Not smart, that’s for certain.

“I needed to settle down a bit, get a steady, reliable income and somehow start to harness my crazy propensity for blowing money. Real estate really appealed to me and I wanted to somehow stay in that field. I went into title insurance and I stayed for the next fifteen years.

“The bar scene for me, at first, was a frivolous carefree romp. Coming out for me was so much better than for some guys that I know. Of course, in my heart of hearts, I knew that I wasn’t all the way out. There were still a couple of people, the ones closest to me, who still didn’t know.”

And an earth shattering calamity was just peeking over the gay horizon.

GUIDO  

“THERE’S NO question that the original idea to get a dog was Joe’s. He was determined to have one and I came to find out that he had to talk to and convince Bill that it would be a good idea. With that in mind, I never ever forget that Bill needs to feel just as important as Joe is as far as I’m concerned. So, I humor Bill quite frequently, although I’m sure he isn’t aware of it. When he speaks to me with that air of authority of his, I always instantly obey. I know how to play the game!

“Just about everybody, especially since I got on national television, fawns over me. I know I’m cute, adorable, sweet, etc. ’cause everybody says so. Nevertheless J and B can’t resist embarrassing me with the comment a fellow made upon my arrival.

“I got flown down to Salt Lake City’s airport. It was my one and only time flying underneath with the bags and cargo. Now, and forever, I only travel in my special carrying case and only in the cabin with J and B. Since airlines only allow one or two pets to ride in the cabin, my guys either get that confirmed for me, or they find another flight for us to go on.

“Anyway, I digress. I fly down from Washington, in steerage, and they stash me in a room with other items to be claimed. Eventually J and B show up and they are led to where I am by a baggage handler. He obviously fancies himself as an undiscovered stand-up comedian when he tells J and B, ‘You’ve either got a very large rat, or a very small dog.’ They repeat that zinger to everyone. I, for one, think it’s getting old.”

CHET  

“I FELL in love with him immediately! I mean immediately. Chemistry, charisma, oh my God! This is ‘
the
’ guy—WOW!!

Chet was Joe’s first, and perhaps his only, real girlfriend. Very attractive, glib, excitable, talkative, great energy, flat out honest and open, a non-stop talker and exceedingly sensual. She sits across from me in Joe’s Mom’s kitchen.

“Joe was on his way back to Georgia Tech when we met. We dated from afar for about two years and it was definitely not exclusive, but it would have been if he had agreed. I wanted that very much, but he didn’t.

“I was 18 and he was 19 and we were both virgins. We weren’t completely intimate, but we made out, did a lot of touching and really heavy petting. A couple of Catholic kids holding back, but Wow! I really want to meet that one gal he slept with. Damn! If he’d have been willing to really have sex, I can assure you that we would have!

“Now, when I think about it, maybe his gayness got in the way. Maybe that was the reason. My girlfriends would say ‘what’s wrong with that guy?’ Gayness never entered my mind—never!

“After two years I had met Bob who is now my husband. Joe and I were, as we always were, down by the river. He told me he had something that he wanted to say. He stared off in space for a very long moment and then turned his face toward me and said, ‘I think I’m gay’. I was stunned, absolutely stunned, but somehow, I managed to say ‘OK’ and we both fell silent. Neither of us knew what to say. I didn’t know anyone who was gay. We just held each other and were perfectly silent.”

JOE ON CHET  

“THROUGHOUT MY life, I’ve only met a very few people who really rocked me,” said Joe as he talked with me on a mild California summer afternoon. I could tell immediately that it was someone very special to him.

“In 1969, between my sophomore and junior years at Georgia Tech, I went home to Newburgh to visit friends and family. I was invited to a beer party and I recall that there were ten or twelve girls there. I don’t remember how many guys were there, or whether there were any people that I really knew very well. Within the first few moments none of that really meant a damn.”

It is obvious that Joe is once again “back there.” It is thirty three years later, yet he is noticeably glowing as he continues.

“You know that famous phrase from ‘The Godfather’? You know, ‘struck by the thunderbolt’? The very first, I mean the absolute very first time I laid eyes on Rosemarie Iachetti, I was struck by the thunderbolt! Holy shit! And you know what? It was mutual! Love at first sight is the perfect description. Wow, wow, wow!

“Right away ‘Chet’ and I couldn’t see enough of each other. It was just plain wonderful. At first consummating sex wasn’t even a thought, at least for me. We talked and hugged and talked and talked. We went places together and devoured each other’s company.

“Eventually we got into petting and then heavy petting. One night, in the back seat of my father’s Cadillac we came very close to having sex. But I couldn’t get it up, so it didn’t happen. I know that she really wanted it, but it was not to be. I was scared, or maybe it was because I was gay. I just remember, so vividly, there we were, I couldn’t do it and she blurted out, ‘oh my God, not again’!

“Any doubts, I knew there really weren’t any, were erased between my junior and senior years at George Tech. I discovered men and that too scared the hell out of me.

“Without any question whatever, I am gay, not bi, even though for a period of time years ago I had lots of sex with women. I strongly believe that many, if not all of those who claim to be bi are in fact just trying to hide their homosexuality.”

TIME BOMB TICKING  

MANY OF us always remember exactly where we were when momentous events occur. Older members of our society can pinpoint their situation on December 7, 1941 while even the youngest will always retain where they were on September 11, 2001.

That is not the case regarding the onset of AIDS. No television images are implanted in our brains to mark its beginning. No bell tolled to signal its arrival. Each and every individual whom I interviewed for this book became pensive and reflective, but was unable to clearly relate how, or even when, he or she first became aware of this deadly monster.

Bill blinked and swallowed hard. He struggled to respond in the crisp, well-ordered manner which I had come to expect from him. He is, without question, someone who strives to accommodate both accurately and in a timely fashion. But not this time, not on this subject.

His voice had just the slightest quiver in it when he looked up at me and said, “I was in New York, in 1979, and I heard about a ‘sex disease’. It was very early on. I began to hear more and more about it, but actually no one really knew much about it as to details.

“I’ll tell you this; I was really blessed because I got the word very early on. I took heed almost at once. I made a personal vow, one that went unbroken: never again have sex without a condom—never, never, never. Don’t mix bodily fluids—ever, ever, ever! Perhaps that’s why I am still alive.

“I got very seriously involved in the fight against AIDS. I’ve taught safe sex classes to both straights and gays. Those who don’t abide, it’s just blatant stupidity—like putting a pistol to your head!

“I don’t need any more proof than the all too graphic fact: almost everyone in the gay community that I personally knew at the time I came out is dead! It is positively overwhelming. I’m just numb to all the deaths; numb.”

MICHAEL—ON JOE AND BILL  

“DURING THE 1986 Holiday Season I was going up to Utah to go skiing, as I had frequently done since Joe moved there from San Francisco. I knew that Bill was also planning to ski in Utah so I thought he should join me and a friend of Joe’s from UCLA. Bill said ‘fine’.

“At the time, Joe had a boyfriend and after we arrived in Utah, it was obvious that he really wasn’t interested in Bill. Not so in the other direction. Bill got hooked on Joe right away.”

BILL—MEETING JOE  

“OUR MUTUAL friend, Michael Isom, along with another fellow, invited me to go up to Utah with them over the Holidays in 1986. I was going anyway, so I joined them. We went up to Alta to the home of Michael’s pal, Joe Baldassare. Joe had a boyfriend, but it obviously wasn’t a very serious relationship.

“Right away I was smitten with Joe, but he wasn’t with me. I tried to ‘take over’, but I could tell that Joe wasn’t too thrilled with that idea. So I left. But not for long!”

JOE—MEETING BILL  

“AN OLD friend of mine from UCLA always used to spend New Year’s Eve with me. In ‘86 that friend, Michael, brought this guy Bill Bartek with them. My

place was jammed with people and I really didn’t have any more room, but I told Bill he could squeeze in wherever.

“But Bill had fallen head over heels for me. That’s when Michael started playing matchmaker between me and Bill. We had a great dinner and evening planned at the New Yorker Restaurant in Salt Lake City. Bill comes back as a ‘surprise’! I had told Michael I didn’t want Bill to come back, but Michael ignored that completely. Bill and his roommate, Ross, show up and it’s chaotic to say the least.

“A number of guys in the party are trying to hit on each other. Bill is hitting on me, but I want a guy named Carl. And Carl wants Bill!

“Even after a number of drinks, I’m still a very logical fellow. I know that Carl has really good taste in both clothes and men. So I figured if Carl is right about Bill, I won’t miss out on him! No way.

“At midnight I grabbed Bill and gave him a big wet kiss. That was New Year’s Eve 1986 and we’ve been together ever since!”

GETTING TOGETHER  

COMPLETELY SMITTEN with each other Bill and Joe were immediately faced with a serious logistical dilemma. While Joe toiled away in Utah for the American Gilsonite Company, a mining subsidiary of the Chevron Oil Corporation, Bill continued making progress in title insurance in San Diego. On top of that, Joe’s position called for him to travel all over the world, often for months at a time.

During sporadic weekend visits to each other’s home base, the two groped for a solution. For a while they seriously considered having Bill hire on as a flight attendant with an international airline so as to facilitate his being able to catch up with Joe at various locations on his business trips throughout the world. That never happened. A solution rivaling a fantasy evolved at just the right time.

“American Gilsonite Company had put me in charge of all exports”, Joe tells me. “I was traveling heavily, with trips lasting five to ten weeks! I had no problem with that. My problem was that I couldn’t stand Utah anymore. Then Bill came into my life and we were constantly separated.”

Joe’s eyes light up as he says, “I used a power play on American Gilsonite Company. There was a competitor in Europe who was pirating key customers from us. I suggested that I be given a temporary (six month) assignment over there to thwart this raiding.

“It worked! They bought it! In actuality it took the next six months for me to train some staff members to ‘replace’ me in Utah. Then I went on a long (70 days) Asian trip and, by my own design, I ended up in Paris. In three days I had secured an apartment, a great furnished place on the West Bank. It worked. Almost!

“It was June, 1990 and Bill’s dad got very, very sick. Bill needed to sell his house in North San Diego County. We really faced breaking up!

“So, Bill came over and joined me in Paris, just a brief vacation, over the July Fourth weekend. Lo and behold, while he was with me his house sold! By the 19
th
of August Bill had gone home, wrapped things up and arrived back in Paris to stay. Talk about idyllic; wow!!”

Things kept going incredibly well. The pair used frequent breaks in Joe’s schedule to visit many parts of Europe. Best of all, the original six months became nine months and then twelve, as Chevron, which never knew of Bill’s existence, coped with internal company turmoil.

Suddenly, the division Joe worked for was sold, but even that worked out quite smoothly. The new owners recruited Joe to stay on and so the original six month assignment lasted just under two years.

BOOK: GAY REALITY : THE TEAM GUIDO STORY
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