Give Me a Reason (33 page)

“No, but you didn’t die, Toni. You survived. You bested the
bastards, and you proved them wrong.”

“It still hurts.”

“Oh, I know it does, Toni. I know it does, but in time, it
will become just another day.”

“How do I do that? How do I
not
remember?”

“I wish I knew, but my job is to try to help you deal with
those memories, and hopefully over time they’ll fade, dulling into something
you won’t even recognize.”

“Well, you’ve got your work cut out for you.”

“I know, but I’m not going anywhere,” Abby said softly. “No
matter how many times you tell me to.”

***

Toni stood in the doorway, looking at a man wearing a neon
pink apron. Calloway had an enormous kitchen, and while staff members normally
only used it to heat up their lunches, twice a week the room was filled with
residents learning the basics of cooking. This was one of those days, but the
class had already ended, so the only person left in the room was the teacher.

He whistled as he gathered dirty pots and pans from the
counter, dropping each into a sink overflowing with bubbles. He had worked at
Calloway for as long as Toni had, and even though she had never spoken to him,
she now needed his help. Aware of his jovial nature and his vibrant wardrobe,
Toni knew in her heart that Christopher Foster was just too flaming to fear.

Turning around to grab more soiled dishes, Christopher
stopped mid-reach when he saw the woman standing in the doorway.

“Well, hello there,” he said, displaying a big toothy grin.
“If you’re looking for Laura, she’s not here.” Seeing Toni cock her head to one
side, he let out a laugh. “People talk, and besides, it takes one to know one.
She may not be my flavor, but I’m thinking she’s yours.”

Feeling her cheeks begin to heat, Toni said, “I-I don’t know
if we were...if we were ever properly introduced. My name’s Toni Vaughn. I’m
the English teacher.”

“John made the introduction a few years ago, but you were too
busy staring at the floor at the time.” Quickly drying his hands on the apron
tied around his narrow waist, he stuck out his hand. “The name’s Christopher.”

John had spoken to the staff about Toni Vaughn, so
Christopher was aware of her past and of her difficulties, but in his
excitement to actually be talking to the woman, he had forgotten everything
John had said. When he saw Toni flinch at his friendly gesture, his shoulders
fell. Dropping his hand to his side, he frowned for a second, and then another
smile graced his face. Daintily holding out the sides of his apron, he curtsied
politely. “Pleased to meet you, miss.”

Toni’s face brightened, and even though her head dipped just
a bit, she kept her eyes on Christopher. “Sorry. I have a problem with
handshakes.”

“No worries, love. Everyone has foibles,” Chris said softly.
“So, what can I do for you? Looking to learn how to cook?”

“No. I...um...I know how to do that,” Toni said, her eyes
darting around the room.

Picking up on Toni’s nervousness, Christopher grabbed a pair
of yellow rubber gloves from the counter and tossed them to her. “Then you must
be here to help me clean up, so roll up your sleeves, put on those Marigolds
and give me a hand.”

Looking over at the stack of dirty pans and dishes on the
worktable, Toni said, “I thought the students would be assigned the cleanup
duties.”

“Normally they are, but it was Sally’s birthday and the girls
wanted to take her out to dinner. Since some of them have a curfew, I told them
to scurry along, and I’d take care of it,” Christopher said. Offering Toni his
most dazzling smile, he placed his hands on his hips. “Now, am I going to ruin
my manicure or are you going to give me a hand?”

Laughing at the man’s effeminate air, Toni pulled on the
gloves and headed to the sink. A few minutes later, they stood
shoulder-to-shoulder amidst pots and pans needing a wash.

“You use a hell of a lot of pans,” Toni said, grabbing
another from the stack.

“I’ll have you know it takes a lot to create greatness, and
if you think this is bad you should see me at work. Thank God they’ve got a
crew of washers at the ready.”

“I heard you were a chef, and this is just a part-time gig
for you. Is that right?”

“Yep.”

“Can I ask why? I mean, why work here when you’ve got a real
job?”

“You don’t consider this a real job?”

“Yes, of course, I do, but...but most people don’t give
ex-cons a second glance, and here you are giving up your free time to teach
them how to cook. I’m just wondering why.”

“That’s a long story.”

Glancing at the pile of dirty dishes to her left, Toni said,
“Looks like we have time.”

Smiling back, Christopher grabbed another dish to dry. “I
work in a fancy restaurant, very upscale, and part of my duties as the
executive chef is to create new dishes for our clientele to enjoy. So,
sometimes I go to work in the wee hours of the morning to mess around in the
kitchen, and one day I found one of the women we recently hired as a dishwasher
sleeping in the alleyway around the back of the restaurant. At first I thought
she was a homeless person, but then I recognized her. It was funny, too,
because I normally didn’t pay much attention to our washers, but the night
before, something about her caught my eye.

“I’m sure you probably think that washing pots and pans
doesn’t take a lot of brains, but where I work we use some high-end cookware,
all of which requires special care. She was the only one—the
only
one who seemed to remember the instructions
that were given to her. And while the other washers were scrambling to keep up,
and re-washing what they didn’t get clean in the first place, she never once
faltered. Not once.

“Anyway, she woke up and I asked her why she was there, and
she told me that she had missed the curfew at her hostel the night before and
she couldn’t afford to go anywhere else. I can’t begin to tell you how
that
made me feel, so I suggested that if she wanted
to earn a few extra quid, she could come inside and clean up after me.”

“That was nice of you.”

“I felt it was the least I could do, and she readily agreed.
So, we went inside and while I was trying to decide what I wanted to create I
told her to make herself breakfast if she wanted, and then she said the most
astounding thing.”

“What?”

“She said she didn’t know how,” Chris said, shaking his head.
“Can you imagine being in your twenties and not knowing how to make a meal? So,
I sat her down and while she watched, I made her breakfast, and after she was
done, I requested she make mine.”

“Did she?”

“It was the best bangers and eggs I ever had,” Chris said as
his eyes turned glassy. “God, you should have seen how happy she was. Right
then and there I decided I was somehow going to try to help people like her,
and eventually I ended up on John’s doorstep, volunteering my services.”

“Wait. Volunteering? You don’t get paid for this?”

“No. I don’t need the money, so I told John to spend it on
the food we need for my class or something else for Calloway.”

“That’s quite impressive.”

“That’s what my boyfriend says,” Chris said with a wink.

Laughing, Toni returned to the task at hand only to discover
she had managed to wash all the pots and pans while Chris was talking. Pulling
off her gloves, she said, “Looks like we’re done.”

“Not yet,” he said as he pulled the pink latex gloves from
his hands.

“What do you mean?”

“Somehow, I don’t think you came all the way down here to
wash dishes. Did you?”

“Oh...um...no, but it’s not important.”

Pulling two mugs from a rack, Chris quickly filled both with
coffee. “I’ll be the judge of that,” he said, handing one to Toni. “So, why are
you so friendly all of a sudden? What’s on your mind?”

Taking a deep breath, Toni said, “I need help.”

“Well, you said you know how to cook, so that can’t be it.”

“No, but I thought, knowing what you do for a living, you
could suggest a nice restaurant.”

“I know several. What did you have in mind?”

“Huh?”

Pulling two stools from under the worktable, Chris sat on one
as he motioned for Toni to use the other. “I can give you the names of a dozen
good restaurants, but it all depends on what you’re looking for.”

“You mean the type of food?”

“No, the surroundings. Do you want something with a pub-like
atmosphere with dancing and music, or somewhere quieter, more intimate?”

“Oh, quiet is better.”

“Can I ask the occasion?”

Pausing for a moment, Toni said, “I’m trying to change a
memory.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, it’s...um...personal.”

“Okay,” he said, cupping his chin in his hand. “Do you have a
budget in mind?”

“Money isn’t an issue.”

Smiling, Christopher said, “Lucky girl, that Laura.”

Feeling her face grow warm, Toni fiddled with her coffee cup,
only looking up when she heard Chris begin to speak.

“Well, if money isn’t an issue, and you’re looking for a
romantic night out—”

“I didn’t say anything about romance.”

“You didn’t have to,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We’ve worked
in the same building for over two years, and all of a sudden you show up down
here, help me clean an enormous pile of pots and pans, all the while chatting
away. Come on, do I really look like I was born yesterday?”

Sizing up the slender man whose head was overflowing with
curly blond locks, Toni chuckled. “Actually, you do.”

Holding his hand to his heart, Chris said, “Oh my, if I ever
feel the need to cross over the line, I’m going to look you up. What’s your
number?”

“Sorry, you’re not my...my flavor either.”

“Damn, I forgot,” Chris said, snapping his fingers. “So,
where were we?”

“Money isn’t an issue.”

“Right. So, the sky’s the limit, and you prefer romantic, or
rather
quiet
places. Correct?”

“Yes.”

“And when would this night on the town take place?”

“Saturday.”

Jerking back his head, Chris said, “Saturday?”

“Yeah.”

“
This
Saturday?”

Toni paused, the tone of Christopher’s voice telling her
something she had forgotten. She had been out of circulation for too long, and
while she had wined and dined several ladies in her former life, there had
never been a need to go to the extreme. Casual dining had been fine...until
now.

Disappointed, she hung her head. “I’ve waited too long.
Anyplace worth going is already booked, isn’t it?”

“Unfortunately, yes, but if you’d like, I can call where I
work and see if I can arrange something. Will that do? I mean, if you’re
looking for opulent and trendy, you won’t find anyplace better.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not, and besides, give me one reason why I shouldn’t?”
he said. Setting down his coffee cup, Chris hopped from the stool. “Be right
back.”

A few minutes later he returned and slid a note in Toni’s
direction. “That’s the name of the club and the time of the reservation. I put
it under Vaughn.”

“I can’t thank you enough for this.”

“Can I be blunt?”

Pausing for a second, Toni said, “Sure.”

“John told us about some of your history, so for you to be
here right now, talking to me like you are, well, it makes me feel a bit like I
did when I taught Kelly how to cook an egg, if that makes sense.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“What happened to Kelly?”

Smiling as wide as a human being could, Chris stood proud.
“She became my sous chef last year.”

Chapter Thirty-One

After waking from a lazy Saturday afternoon kip, Laura walked
down the stairs just as Toni was hanging up the phone. Since Toni never
answered the door or used the phone, Laura’s brow creased. “Who called?”

“No one. I was calling for a taxi.”

“A taxi? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s for tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“Yes. I’m taking you out to dinner,” Toni said
matter-of-factly.

“You’re taking me out to dinner?”

“Are you going to repeat everything I say?”

“Until things start making sense, yes, I am,” Laura said,
tilting her head. “Toni, what’s going on?”

“I just told you. I’m taking you out to dinner, so I called
to arrange a taxi so neither of us had to drive. That’s all.”

“That’s all?
That’s all
?”
Laura muttered. “Who are you and what have you done with Toni?”

Mimicking the smile that now appeared on Laura’s face, Toni
said, “I’m still here, Laura, and I’m still nervous and scared and all those
other things, but I want to do this. Okay?”

“Of course, it’s okay. It’s great!”

“Good.”

“So, where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise, but I can tell you that it’s rather posh,
so you’ll need to dress accordingly.”

Glancing at her watch, Laura said, “Wait. When will the taxi
be here?”

“Well, the reservation is for seven—”

“Seven!”

“Is that a problem?”

“But it’s already four o’clock.”

“Nice to know you can tell time, Laura, but I don’t see—”

“That only gives me a few hours to get ready. I have no idea
what to wear, and of course, I need a shower—” Laura’s mouth snapped shut when
she realized Toni was laughing at her, but instead of getting angry, Laura’s
heart melted. Narrowing her eyes, she asked, “You did this on purpose, didn’t
you?”

“I just knew that if I told you about it earlier, you would
have pestered me for details—”

“I do
not
pester.”

“You most certainly do, and in case you haven’t noticed,
you’re wasting valuable primping time,” Toni said, pointing to the clock on the
mantle.

Laugh lines appeared at the corners of Laura’s eyes as she
gazed back at Toni. “Give me one reason why I should run around like an idiot
for you?”

Toni invaded Laura’s personal space, and after placing a
light kiss on her cheek, she said in a breathy whisper, “I hope to give you
many.”

***

With more than enough time to get ready, Toni took a
leisurely shower and then puttered about the house in her robe for another hour
before returning to her room to get dressed. With winter rapidly approaching,
she pushed aside several blouses in her wardrobe and removed a gray cashmere,
cowl-neck sweater. Pulling it over her head, Toni smiled at its softness as she
adjusted the drape of the neck. Retrieving her leather trousers from the
closet, she pulled them on and finished her ensemble with ankle-high black
boots.

Looking at her reflection in the mirror over the dresser,
Toni’s shoulders drooped. She was in desperate need of a haircut, but Krista’s
schedule hadn’t allowed her to visit to do the deed. Thinking for a moment,
Toni went into the bathroom and opened the cabinet. Pulling out a small bag,
she emptied the contents on the counter and shrugged. Why not?

A short time later, Toni shut off her bedroom light, and
glancing at the clock on the mantle as she came into the lounge, she went to
the kitchen, opened a bottle of wine and filled two glasses. Taking a sip, Toni
decided to grab a quick cigarette, and slipping on her coat, she stepped outside.

After a long shower, followed by an hour’s worth of wardrobe
selection, a petite Scottish woman stood in her bedroom wearing nothing but her
underwear, her nylons and a worried look on her face. It was one thing to visit
the café for coffee, or shop early in the morning before the crowds became too
much, but tonight Toni was stepping outside her safety zone,
way
outside, and Laura was worried. Putting on her
robe, she went downstairs, walking into the kitchen just as Toni was coming in
from her smoke.

“You’re not ready?” Toni said.

Laura knew her mouth was open, and she was fairly certain her
eyes were a
wee
bit larger than normal, but
Toni looked amazing. Her hair was shining with gel, the locks finger-combed and
tousled until they were perfect, and like she had done in Scotland, her eyes
were now emphasized by black eyeliner and her cheeks, with blush. She had
finished the look with a blend of charcoal and gray eye shadow, and the result
was both smoky and sensual.

Raising an eyebrow at Laura’s bold and somewhat lascivious
leer, Toni said, “Something wrong?”

“You look incredible,” Laura said in a breath.

“Thanks.
You
look
underdressed.”

“Oh, I was thinking that maybe...maybe this might be too much
for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Going out tonight. I know this is really hard for you, and
if you’re doing this for me—”

“I’m not. I’m doing it for me, and for us.”

“Yeah?”

“Laura, this day, this
date
...it’s
the anniversary of when I entered Thornbridge, and I’ve always had a rough time
with it, so I thought what better way to get rid of a bad memory than to
replace it with a good one,” Toni said, taking a step in Laura’s direction.
“Now, I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I’m not nervous, because I am.
Christ, it took me half-dozen tries before I finally found the nerve to call
the taxi company, but I did. I managed, and as long as you’re there tonight, I
think I’ll be okay, and if I’m not, I know you’ll take care of me.”

“You know I will.”

“Then please do me the honor of being my date tonight. It
would really mean a lot to me.”

Running over, Laura placed a kiss on Toni’s cheek, and as she
skipped out of the room and up the stairs, she called out, “I’ll be down in
five minutes. Promise!”

***

Four minutes and fifty-eight seconds later, Laura walked down
the stairs wearing the red blouse Toni had bought her in Scotland, and the
black skirt with the well-placed slit. Noticing that her legs had become Toni’s
focal point, Laura grinned. “I’m up here.”

Raising her eyes, Toni shrugged and let out a laugh. “Sorry,
but I really do love that skirt.”

“Good to know,” Laura said, all the while struggling to keep
her eyes on Toni’s face. Hidden by her jacket earlier, Toni’s cashmere sweater
was now in full view. It hugged her torso like a second skin, and the low drape
of the cowl-neck piqued more than just Laura’s interest. Prying her eyes away,
Laura cleared her throat. “Um...new top?”

“Yeah. I got it when I went out with Krista,” Toni said. “I
poured some wine. I thought we’d have a drink before we leave.”

“Do we have time?”

Without answering, Toni motioned for Laura to follow her and
when they got into the kitchen, she handed Laura a glass. “I have a small
confession to make.”

“Yeah?” Laura said, raising the glass to her lips. “What kind
of confession?”

“Well, knowing that you always seem to run a bit late, I told
you that our reservation was for seven instead of half seven.”

Eyeing Toni as she took a slow sip of wine, Laura smiled.
“I’ll get you for that.”

Pleased with Laura’s reaction to her ruse, Toni leaned against
the counter and drank her wine, all the while staring at the most beautiful
woman in the world.

Knocked slightly off-kilter by Toni’s overt gawk, Laura
asked, “Can…can I ask where we’re going?”

***

Toni’s anxieties began to appear almost at the same time as
their taxi, but putting on a brave face, she donned her leather coat. Assisting
Laura with hers, they walked silently to the waiting car. The sounds of the
street and the traffic filled the cab’s silence, and as Laura looked out the
window at the lights whizzing by Toni took her hand and held on tight. No words
were spoken or glances given, just a silent understanding that if Toni needed
Laura’s help, it would be there.

Having never actually eaten at The Reading Room, unless you
could call a half-eaten salad a meal, Laura was thrilled when she realized she
was returning to the restaurant for a second time. Getting out of the taxi,
they looked up at the remodeled three-story warehouse and then slowly climbed
the stairs that would take them inside.

Their coats were taken by the awaiting staff, but when Laura
was about to approach the maître d’ Toni touched her on the sleeve and shook
her head. Drawing in as much air as her lungs could hold, Toni walked over, and
in a quiet and shaky voice, spoke to the tall Indian man. Seconds later, they
were led to a corner table on the mezzanine.

One floor above the largest dining area, the mezzanine was
small and intimate, and far enough away from the bustle below that conversation
could be whispered and still be heard. Keeping with the flavor of a book
repository, the wall running the length of the upper floor was lined with
bookcases that went from floor to ceiling, and each held on its shelves,
volumes of literature in all shapes and sizes, covered in leather in a variety
of colors.

Inhaling deeply the aroma of ink-filled pages, Toni could
feel herself relax as they were seated at a linen-covered table awash in
elegance. Smiling at Laura as the waiter placed menus in front of them, when he
handed Toni the wine list, she didn’t need to look at Laura to know that the
woman was holding her breath.

After searching the Internet for two nights for all that she
could find about the exclusive restaurant, like a child readying themselves for
a speech in school, Toni had practiced what for most would have come easily.
Quickly perusing the list of wines and champagne, she pointed to one. “I think
this will do nicely.”

Impressed by her choice, the waiter tucked the wine list
under his arm, filled their water goblets and then went in search of the
sommelier.

“You’re doing great.”

“Thanks, but that’s just a bottle of wine. I’m not too sure
about the rest of the meal.”

“No worries, sweetheart. I’m here.”

Opening the leather-bound menu, Toni asked, “So, what looks
good to you?”

Raising her eyes, when she saw Laura’s playful expression,
the last ounce of Toni’s fears disappeared. Sitting in an upscale restaurant
surrounded by strangers no longer seemed threatening, and while her palms were
indeed sweaty and her heart beat a bit too fast...neither could be blamed on
The Reading Room.

***

Although Toni had found the courage to call for a taxi, order
their drinks and then chat with the sommelier over the very expensive Pinot
Noir she had chosen, Laura wasn’t the only one surprised when the waiter
returned to the table, and Toni found her voice again. Glancing in Laura’s
direction for only an instant, Toni took it upon herself to order their meal,
perfectly pronouncing every dish, and when the young man finally walked away
from the table, Toni picked up her wine and took a much-needed sip.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she said quietly as she steadied the
shaking glass with her other hand.

“Give me a reason why I should?”

“Some might.”

“They would be fools,” Laura said. Noticing the wine rippling
in Toni’s glass, she asked, “You doing okay?”

“Yeah, just being me,” Toni said with a snort as she
carefully placed the glass on the table.

“You’re doing great.”

“Tell me that again in a few hours. Okay?”

“You got it.”

***

They spent their time marveling at the architecture and
atmosphere of the restaurant until the waiter returned to the table with two
bowls of lobster bisque. Pouring a spot of brandy in each, he set them aflame,
and a few minutes later, Laura and Toni were dipping their spoons into the
creamy soup. For the main course, Toni had ordered tasting plates, one
containing portions of pigeon, lamb and red deer, and the other, halibut,
stir-fried crab claws and wild African prawns, and for the next hour or so,
they delighted in the feast.

After dinner, they cleansed their palettes with a bit of
lime-mint sorbet, and even though Laura let out a groan, emphasizing it by
placing her hand on her filled belly, Toni insisted on ordering a tasting plate
of desserts to complete their meal.

“So, did it work?” Laura asked, taking a sip of coffee.

“Did what work?”

“Are the cobwebs gone?”

It took a moment to understand the question, and then
realizing that the memories of Thornbridge hadn’t intruded upon their evening,
Toni smiled. “Yeah, I guess they are.”

“Good,” Laura said, taking a small bite of one of the
desserts. “Can I ask you something?”

“I still haven’t figured out a way to stop you, so go ahead,”
Toni said, dipping her spoon into the chocolate mousse.

“I was just wondering…when you ordered dinner you did it so
fluently.”

“Silver spoon, remember?”

“How silver is silver?”

“Sterling.”

After taking a sip of coffee, Laura’s spoon found its way to
the mousse. “What was it like?”

“What?”

“Growing up like that. I mean, Mum and I did all right, and I
don’t know that I wanted for anything as a child, but it sounds like you were a
bit better off than most.”

“I guess you could say that, and when I was young, I had no
idea that other kids didn’t have their own horse or tennis courts. I just
thought everyone did.”

“You had your own horse?”

“Actually, I had a few.”

“Do you miss it?”

“My horse?”

With a laugh, Laura said, “No, silly. That kind of
lifestyle.”