Give Me a Reason (7 page)

Someone was at the door, and the relentless knocking seemed
to mirror the throbs of pain in Toni’s body, and with each loud rap, her head
felt one step closer to exploding. She needed quiet. She needed peace and
darkness, and for a moment, her fear was replaced by rage.

Determined, Laura stood in the hallway with no intention of
leaving until Toni answered the door. She had been there for ten minutes and
with each tick of the clock, Laura’s concern grew. There was blood on the door
jamb and more on the tattered mat under her feet, and she instantly regretted
leaving the first-aid kit in the car. Raising her hand to knock again, Laura
stopped when she heard the door being unlocked. The hinges creaked as it opened
a few inches, and Laura found herself looking at a ghost.

The color had all but drained from Toni’s face and the dark
circles under her eyes appeared almost black against her bloodless complexion.
Soaked to the skin, the water dripping from her hair mixed with the blood on
her temple, painting a macabre abstract as it made its way down the right side
of her face, but she didn’t seem to notice. She didn’t seem to care.

Their eyes met for a moment, and Laura could see Toni’s rage,
but in a split-second, the woman’s expression changed to one of fright. Sensing
the woman’s distress, Laura kept her voice low and calm. “Toni, Bryan said you
might be hurt—”

“No!” Toni shouted as she tried to slam the door.

Laura had known she wasn’t going to be welcomed and she had
prepared herself for it. Although she flinched when the door pushed against her
instep, she refused to move. “Toni, I just want to see—”

“No!” Toni shrieked, stumbling backward into her flat.
Panic-stricken, her fear shrouded reality, and she no longer knew what was real
and what was not, and who was a friend and who was an enemy.

Following Toni inside, Laura shut the door. “Toni, it’s
Laura, Laura MacLeod...from Calloway.”

Muted by terror, Toni waved her arms in the air as if trying
to avoid an invisible demon, and with each passing second, her breathing was
becoming more and more labored.

Alarmed by the sight of Toni struggling to breathe, the sheer
anguish etched on the woman’s face told Laura all she needed to know. “Toni,
you need to calm down. You’re having a panic attack, and you need to slow your
breathing. Please, just try to relax.”

Gulping for air, Toni fell to one knee, inhaling again and
again as she tried to fill her lungs with more.

“Shit!” Laura said, quickly glancing around the room. Dashing
into the kitchen, Laura yanked open every drawer and cabinet until she found a
small paper bag. Rushing back into the lounge to find Toni clutching her throat
in agony, Laura didn’t think twice. Falling to her knees, she tried to place
the bag over Toni’s mouth, but Toni panicked. Desperately trying to get away,
she scrambled backward across the floor like a spider trying to hide, all the
while gasping for air.

“Toni, you’re going to pass out!” Laura said, crawling
closer. “Please trust me. This will help,” Laura pleaded.
“Toni...please...please just trust me.”

Their eyes locked, green ones filled with compassion gazing
into dark-brown filled with anguish. “Relax, I won’t hurt you,” Laura whispered
as she slowly put the sack over Toni’s mouth.

Toni tried to fight. She wanted to fight, but the room was
spinning and her body was no longer hers. Her strength was gone, but as her
vision cleared for a moment, she grabbed Laura’s wrists in a death grip. She
was scared. Oh God, she was scared.

Expanding and contracting, the paper crackled in time with Toni’s
breathing as Laura hovered over her, mindless of the powerful hold Toni had on
her wrists, but as Toni’s breathing eased and her eyes fluttered closed, Laura
let out a sigh of relief. Sleep was taking hold. The panic attack had ended.
The worst was over.

Chapter Six

Looking up from her coffee cup, Krista grinned when she saw
Toni standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “Hey there. Feeling better?”

Confused, Toni nodded as she looked around. “How long have
you been here?”

“Not long, and if you’re looking for your friend, Laura, she
left about fifteen minutes ago.”

“She’s not my friend.”

“Well, she seemed friendly enough to me. She said you work
together.”

“Yeah, she’s my boss,” Toni said, scratching her head. “I…I
thought it was a dream.”

“It wasn’t, and in case you’re wondering, she’s the one who
cleaned you up and bandaged your arm.”

Looking down, Toni raised her sleeve and found her arm
wrapped neatly with gauze. Hesitantly, she touched her forehead and discovered
yet another bandage taped to her skin. “She did this?”

It seemed to be becoming a habit, actual conversations
instead of ones stilted by fear and mistrust, and Krista couldn’t be happier.
Convinced more than ever that it had something to do with Laura MacLeod, while
the woman was cautious about pushing Toni’s envelope, Kris knew two Toni
Vaughns, and the one standing before her was an old and dear friend.

“Yeah, and by the bruises I saw on her wrists, you weren’t a
very cooperative patient.”

“What? I don’t remember—”

“Well, whether you remember it or not, you owe her an apology
and a huge thank you for taking care of you.”

“I didn’t ask her—”

“Oh, don’t you even start with that
I didn’t ask for help shit
! You were hurt, and she
cared enough to come over here and help you. The
least
you can do is to thank her for it.”

“Okay…okay. I’ll do it Monday.”

“You won’t have to wait that long. She’ll be here tomorrow.”

“What? Why?”

“Because Robin and I are going away this weekend, and someone
has to change that bandage, so she agreed to come over and play nurse.”

“I can take care of myself! You need to call her right now
and tell her not to come!”

Laughing, Krista grabbed her jacket and walked to the door.
“First, you don’t have any bandages here. Second, you
can’t
take care of yourself. And third, she wrote
her number by your phone, so if you don’t want her here,
you
call her!” Seeing the stunned look on Toni’s
face, Krista’s shoulders fell. She had meant her words to be playful, totally
forgetting that Toni no longer knew how to play. Walking over, she kissed Toni
on the cheek. “I’m sorry, and if you want me to change my plans, I will. Just
say the word.”

With
you can’t take care of
yourself
still ringing in her ears, Toni shook her head. “No, I’ll be
okay. You and Robin have a good time.”

Placing another quick peck on Toni’s cheek, Kris said,
“Thanks, Toni. See you next week.”

As soon as the door closed, Toni stomped to the phone,
dialing the number and listening as the connection went through. While it
continued to ring, she stared at the scrap of paper, the phone number obviously
written by Laura MacLeod for the strokes were strong and fluid and not at all
like Krista’s scrawl. As the answering machine picked up, Toni turned the paper
over and when she read the words “
I just want to be
your friend
” written on the back, her train of thought was lost. Hearing
the beep in her ear, she quickly said, “Miss...Miss MacLeod, this is
Toni...um...Toni Vaughn. Kris told me, well she said that you’d be stopping by
tomorrow, but I don’t need...I don’t
want
you here.
I...I appreciate what you did tonight, but I can...I can take care of myself.
So...so thanks again. Good-bye.”

***

Like the night before, Laura stood in the hallway for several
minutes until her continual knocking produced the desired response. The door
opened just enough to reveal a very sleepy Toni Vaughn, her short black hair
tousled and pointing in every direction imaginable.

It was probably the worst case of bedhead Laura had ever
seen, and her amusement showed on her face. “Hiya, Toni. How you feeling?”

Her brain and eyes still trying to adjust to consciousness,
it took a moment before Toni realized she wasn’t dreaming. “What are you doing
here? Didn’t you get my message?”

“Yes, I did, but I chose to ignore it,” Laura said as she
shuffled past and headed to the kitchen.

Closing her eyes, Toni took a deep breath to squelch her
anxieties and then followed Laura into the other room.

“I brought you some coffee,” Laura said, pulling a cup out of
a cardboard carrier. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I just ordered black.”

“Have you got a problem taking no for an answer?” Toni asked.

“Only when it’s the wrong answer.”

The room went silent as they stood staring at each other,
neither sure of the next step. Toni wanted nothing more than to banish Laura
from her flat, but the smell of the coffee and the fact that the woman had
helped her the night before was making it hard for Toni to say the words.
Defeated, she asked, “So you’re here. What now?”

Noticing Toni’s rumpled clothes, Laura said, “Why don’t you
go get cleaned up, and when you’re done, I’ll change the bandages, and then
I’ll be on my way. How’s that sound?”

“And if I want you to leave now?”

“You’ll be in for one hell of an argument.”

Clenching her jaw, Toni growled, “
Why
are you doing this?”

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t?”

Unable to think of an answer, Toni stomped to her bedroom,
slamming the door behind her and throwing the bolt, leaving Laura grinning like
a fool as she pulled the other cup of coffee from the carrier.

***

Having finished her coffee, Laura was just about to toss out
the cup when Toni walked back into the kitchen wearing the same frown she had
left with. Noticing that her hair was wet, Laura pointed to where the bandage
on Toni’s forehead used to be. “Did that fall off in the shower?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Laura said, pulling out a chair.
“Have a seat.”

Toni’s palms grew sweaty. Staring at the chair as if
electricity was running to it, she said, “I can do this myself. I...I don’t
want you here. Why can’t you understand that?”

Hearing the panic in Toni’s voice, Laura asked, “Is this
because you don’t like to be touched?”

Toni’s head snapped back, shocked and embarrassed that the
woman knew so much. “I think you need to go...right now!”

“Toni, I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not going to hurt you.
You need to trust me. Please, just sit down and we’ll take it slow. I promise.”

“And if I say no?”

Hoping to lighten the tenseness of the situation, Laura
smiled. “Well, then I guess I’ll just have to park my arse in this chair until
you change your mind.”

A snort of disgust escaped as Toni glared at the woman, but
Laura simply crossed her arms and continued to smile. Her body language said it
all. She’d stay all day if that’s what it would take. Letting out a heavy sigh,
Toni kept her eyes on Laura as she cautiously sat down.

Thrown by the woman’s arrival, Toni hadn’t taken notice of
the first-aid kit until Laura put it on the table. Seeing the hefty case,
Toni’s curiosity was piqued. “Are you accident prone?”

Opening the case, Laura chuckled. “I took it from work last
night. Hopefully, no one will stub a toe before I get it back on Monday.”

Seeing that Toni’s hands were now palm down on the table, and
she had squeezed her eyes shut, Laura’s movements were slow and precise.
Peering at the cut on Toni’s head, while her first thought was to brush a few
strands of hair out of the way, Laura decided the less she touched Toni the
better off both of them would be. Opening a tube of antibiotic cream, she put a
small bit on her finger and as lightly as she could, coated the cut. “This
doesn’t look bad at all, actually. Typical head wound, lots of blood and hardly
any damage. I won’t cover it again, but you need to keep it clean.”

Breathing in the scent of Laura’s perfume, Toni relaxed
enough to open her eyes and immediately felt like a voyeur. Laura’s blouse had
gaped open, and it was now presenting Toni with more than an ample view of the
woman’s cleavage. Quickly, she diverted her eyes and stared at the floor.

Toni hadn’t thought about women in years. Her needs and wants
for the warmth of another had been destroyed by thick walls, steel doors and
scars. She was once a player, enjoying one-night stands with women of all
shapes and sizes, but now…now she didn’t even play alone. The touch of another
used to make her body pulse, but now it trembled at even the slightest contact,
so while Laura’s touch was gentle, the only feelings stirring in Toni were ones
of angst.

It felt as if her heart would break through her ribs at any
moment, but frozen by fear Toni didn’t move an inch until Laura sat down and
reached for her bandaged arm. Acting as if a branding iron had been pressed
against her skin, Toni jerked away, her chair rocking back with the force.
Grimacing at her own reaction, Toni hung her head. She hated who she had
become. She knew in her heart that Laura only wanted to help, but that
knowledge did not stop her fear. Taking a stuttered breath, she put her arm
back on the table as she raised her eyes to meet Laura’s. “I’m...I’m sorry.
Go...go ahead.”

The sound of Toni’s ragged breathing slowed Laura’s movements
even more, and as gently as she could, she removed the gauze wrapped around the
woman’s forearm. The crimson gash was long and deep, and the butterfly bandages
that Laura had used the night before had done their job, but just barely. “You
know, this really does need stitches.”

“I don’t like doctors,” Toni said, glancing at the wound.
“I’ve had worse. It’ll be fine.”

“Look, there’s a clinic just down the road—”

“I said,
I don’t like doctors
!”
Toni screamed. Pushing back her chair to stand, she tried to yank her arm away
and immediately regretted it. The pain was intense, and as the gash reopened,
blood began to spill out.

“Shit,” Laura muttered, grabbing some gauze to stop the flow.

For an instant, their eyes met, and each tried their hardest
to stare down the other. Scottish temper confronted by English anger was a
lethal combination, but when Laura saw the amount of blood pouring from the
cut, she reined in her annoyance. Narrowing her eyes as if daring Toni to move,
Laura returned to the work at hand, giving Toni no choice but to sit in silence
and watch.

As Laura tended to the wound, Toni’s uneasiness began to
disappear like the blood being blotted from her arm. She stole one glance and
then another while Laura worked, oblivious that she was being watched. Her
auburn hair smelled of strawberries, and the perfume she wore today was a bit
more flowery than the one Toni was used to, but it still was pleasant and
light. Looking down, she watched as Laura tenderly administered first-aid, and
all of a sudden Toni realized that the woman’s touch no longer felt foreign or
dangerous.

“You’ll need to keep this dry and clean. Okay?” Laura said,
applying the last bit of tape to hold the gauze in place.

“Yeah,” Toni said as she stood up with coffee cup in hand.
Quickly drinking what remained, she placed the cup on the table and left the
room without saying a word.

Laura knew Toni was telling her that her visit had come to an
end, so gathering the kit, she walked to the door. “I guess I’ll see you on
Monday,” she said as Toni opened the door.

“Look...um...thanks for doing this,” Toni said, holding up
her arm. “I don’t...I don’t know what I can do to repay you.”

Without thinking, Laura said the first thing that came to
mind. “Buy me dinner.”

“What?”

“Buy me dinner,” Laura repeated, grinning up at the woman.

Shaking her head, Toni said, “I-I-I don’t think I can...I can
do that.”

“Well, you didn’t think you could let me change the bandages,
but you did. Just think about it. There’s no rush,” Laura said as she walked
out. Looking over her shoulder, she said, “You have my number, so call me if
you need anything.”

Toni closed the door and looked down at her bandaged arm.
Running a finger over the gauze, she closed her eyes for a moment as she
remembered the feel of Laura’s touch.

***

When she arrived at work Monday morning, Laura had only one
thing on her mind...Toni Vaughn. As she expected, Toni hadn’t called, so Laura
spent the better part of the weekend worrying about a woman she hardly knew,
but couldn’t seem to get out of her head.

Deciding that her first stop would be Toni’s classroom to see
how she was doing, Laura’s plans changed as soon as she walked into Calloway.
Forgetting that she had appointments scheduled the entire day, for the next
eight hours, Laura’s time was spent in meetings and on conference calls. By the
time she finished the last, it was nearly five o’clock.

“Shit,” Laura said, looking at her watch. Aware that Toni
always left at four, Laura had two choices. Drive to the woman’s flat to check
up on her or wait until the next day. As she weighed her options, she heard a
light tapping and looked up to see Toni standing in the doorway. In an instant,
Laura’s face brightened. “Hiya, Toni.”

“You’re working late,” Toni said, walking into the room.

“Apparently, I’m not the only one.”

“Actually, I’ve been done for a while. I was just waiting for
the halls to clear before I came downstairs.”

Toni didn’t visit the first floor unless it was to exit the
building at the end of the day or to grab a smoke, and Laura knew it. Toni
Vaughn had a routine, and it never,
ever
changed. Eyeing the woman, Laura asked, “What’s up?”