Guilty Pleasures: A Collection (4 page)

Sweetheart
? Like a splash of cold water to her face, that doting pet name, clearly meant for someone female, jolted Renee awake completely. Her stomach churning with a sense of dread, and her heart pounding in her chest, she sat up in bed. And even though she wasn’t one to normally eavesdrop, this was one conversation she couldn’t bring herself to ignore.

“Sure honey.” His voice was tender and caring, and then he chuckled at something she must have said. “Tell grandma I said yes. I’m glad you’re having a good time. What are you planning on doing today? Anything fun?”

Renee’s mind spun as she processed his words and came to the conclusion that he could only be talking to a child—a daughter judging by the feminine endearments he used.

She dragged her fingers through her disheveled hair, still in shock. Good God, he had a
daughter
, and he’d never mentioned her, which said everything about Jake's thoughts on their time together this weekend. While she’d hoped this was just the beginning of something deeper, clearly for him it had been all about a fun, no-strings-attached hook-up.

How stupid was she for thinking that there was something more to all their late night talks and emails? For believing that the intimate, caring look in his eyes last night when he’d been buried deep inside her carried the same emotional impact for him as it had her? Or maybe she’d just imagined it all because she’d wanted there to be so much more between them.

The truth was like a knife to the heart, and despite the hurt and disappointment eating at her, Renee knew she had no one to blame for this unexpected and devastating letdown than herself. Jake had never made any promises beyond amazing, phenomenal, mind-blowing sex, which he’d given her plenty of last night. Their do-over had been a huge success and he’d fulfilled his end of the bargain, and then some.

Since Jake had gone outside to talk to his daughter, he clearly wanted to be alone, and that’s what she intended to give him. And honestly, the very last thing she wanted to deal with was yet another awkward and embarrassing parting like they'd had ten years ago.

Telling herself she ought to be grateful that she’d avoided the humiliation of confessing to Jake how she felt about him, and him not returning the sentiment, she got out of bed and quickly put her clothes back on. Finding a pen and hotel stationary in the nightstand drawer, she wrote him a direct and to the point note:
I left to give you privacy with your
daughter.
Thanks for the do-over. You definitely fulfilled all promises made. Renee.

She tossed the paper onto the pillow she’d slept on, then silently made her escape.

#

As soon as Jake walked back into the hotel room after his chat with Addison and saw the empty bed, his gut told him that Renee was gone. Sure enough, the bathroom door was wide open, her clothes were no longer scattered all over the floor, and there was a note on her pillow.

Reluctantly, he picked it up and read what she wrote, not missing the way she’d emphasized the word
daughter
. Add to that her curt
thanks for the do-over
and her disappearing act, and he was smart enough to read between the lines and realize that she was hurt and angry that he'd kept such a big part of his life a secret . . . rightly so.

“Shit,” he muttered. He’d royally fucked things up. He could only imagine how this looked to Renee, and he'd never intended for her to find out about his daughter this way. But when Addison called, he'd automatically picked up the phone. His little girl meant the world to him, and very rarely did he let her calls go to voice mail. But as soon as he'd stepped out on the balcony to talk to Addison, he realized his mistake.

By then it was too late.

He'd planned on spending the day with Renee and breaking the news about Addison to her so that she understood how he was ready to take the next step with her. Especially after what they'd shared last night, which had been far more than casual sex or just a fun do-over of their first time together.

Being with Renee had exceeded his expectations, not just sexually, but emotionally. This was a woman he loved talking to at night and sharing the events of his day with. A woman who made him laugh and want things he hadn't desired in a very long time. But emails, Skype, and on-line chats were no longer enough for him. He wanted a real relationship with Renee, and that included introducing her to the most important person to him, his daughter, and see all the different and wonderful ways Renee complimented their daily lives.

In a nutshell, he'd fallen in love with Renee when he'd least expected it. And he had no idea if she'd even forgive him for withholding something so important and personal when he should have been upfront and honest before everything that happened between them last night.

But he had to try. Because leaving this resort without Renee in his life wasn't an option for him.

#

Renee spent the day ignoring Jakes calls and texts. Still hurt by his deception, she wasn't ready to see or talk to him, though she knew at some point she would be forced to—if even to just end their on-line relationship. The thought made her heart ache.

The fact that he'd withheld something so important after everything they'd shared stung deeply. Yes, she was shocked to discover he was a father, but had he been open and honest with her beforehand she knew it wouldn't have changed the way she felt about
him
. In fact, it probably would have made her care for him even more, especially after hearing how he'd talked to his daughter on the phone. He was clearly a devoted dad who put his little girl's well being first.

But even witnessing all that, she'd be naïve to think him having a kid didn't change anything about the two of them. If they had a future as a couple, and that was clearly in doubt given that his glaring omission indicated Renee wasn't as important to him as she'd hoped, now there was a child involved. And that meant if Renee wanted to salvage things with Jake, she had to take stock of how she felt about being part of the little girl's life.

Spending most of her adult life traveling, Renee hadn't given much thought to children, though she did want them one day, with the right person. And since she'd been thinking that Jake was that person, she knew deep in her heart that she'd love any child of his.

Her own feelings aside, there was the issue of Jake's daughter—a living, breathing person with her own set of needs and feelings about her father—and any woman he brought home. What if she resented Renee? The possibility existed, but what if she needed a female figure in her life and actually
liked
Renee? She shivered at the prospect, knowing it was scary on so many levels, but if asked, she'd have wanted the opportunity to know about Jake's daughter. To meet her. To find out for herself if she fit into the young girl's life.

Instead, he'd hid it from her, and that stung more than she cared to admit.

Not wanting to burden Allie with her problems when she knew her friend was reconnecting with Will, Renee made herself scarce for the afternoon. She didn't want to put a damper on Allie's good mood, and there would be plenty of time later, when she and Allie were back home, to tell her friend what a fool she'd made of herself.

There were plenty of options and activities at the resort to keep her busy, but she had no desire to spend the day making small talk with old classmates. So, she took a long walk to a secluded part of the resort, found a shady spot with a lounge chair and a waiter who served complimentary strawberry daiquiris, and finished reading the romance novel she'd started a few days ago.

It was as good as her day was going to get.

Later that afternoon, when she received a text from Allie informing her that she and Will were going out for the evening, Renee decided it was time for her to head back to the hotel. Tonight was the reunion's dinner and dance, which she was tempted to skip. But she couldn't avoid Jake forever. It was time for her to put on her big girl panties beneath the sexy red dress she'd bought for the party and deal with whatever happened next.

After trying to find Renee all day long and failing at every turn, she was ridiculously easy to find at the reunion's dinner dance. In a form-fitting scarlet red sheath that stood out in a sea of black cocktail dresses, she was irresistible. And possibly, unattainable.

Jake was grateful she'd shown up, because he wasn't leaving the reunion until they talked face-to-face. He had a lot of groveling to do, and that kind of persuasion was far more effective in person, than over the phone or Skype. But first, he had to get her alone.

She was standing in a group of old friends, and hadn't spotted him yet, and when the band started up a slow tune, Jake took the opportunity to make his move. He came up behind her and touched her elbow to get her attention. As soon as she turned her head and realized it was him, the smile on her lips faded and wariness etched her features—which felt like a kick directly to the stomach.

“Care to dance?” he asked.

The look in her eyes said, “no”, but since they had a small audience watching them, she pasted on a polite smile and did the civil thing. “Sure.”

Relieved that she'd given him at that much latitude, he led her out onto the dance floor and pulled her into his embrace, though her reluctance to be with him was as tangible as her stiff posture. After feeling her so soft and warm in his arms last night, her cool demeanor now felt so impossible to scale.

“I know being with me is the last thing you want right now,” he said, hating the way she glanced over his shoulder as if she were dancing with a stranger, instead of looking in his eyes. “But I'd really like the chance to explain.”

“You don't owe me any explanation, Jake,” she said, her tone flat and emotionless.

“Yes, I do,” he said persistently. “Because you matter to me.”

Finally, she looked at him. “Really?” she asked incredulously. “Is that why you withheld the very important fact that you have a daughter?” Her brow rose skeptically, but the pain in the depths of her gaze told a whole different story. She wasn't immune to him, and she wouldn't be so hurt if she hadn't had some kind of feelings for him.

That realization gave him hope.

But he didn't want to have this serious conversation here. This was about him and Renee and their future together. He needed a quiet place and privacy to make sure she really listened to what he had to say, and understood exactly what she meant to him.

Without asking her permission, because he wasn't taking no for an answer anyway, he secured her hand in his and headed out of the party. She tried to pull away, but he tightened his grasp as they stepped out into the cool, evening air.

“Jake, stop.”

“Not until we've talked,” he said firmly, and took the same pathway as last night that led to the gazebo where he'd kissed her. Once there, he released her. She walked to the opposite end of the structure, far away from him, her expression cautious.

“I should have told you sooner about Addison,” he said.

She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her chin. “Then why didn't you?”

At least she was asking questions, a sign that she cared about his answers. At this point, he'd take whatever yielding he could get. “Keeping my daughter out of my affairs is something I've always done. There's never been a reason to tell anyone I've been with that I have a kid, because the relationship never lasted long enough.”

When she said nothing, he exhaled and continued, putting everything out there in the open between them. “I met Lacey, Addison's mother, when we were in college. We dated for a while, and when she got pregnant, everything changed. I wasn't in love with her, and she wasn't in love with me, but I wanted the baby and was willing to do whatever it took to make things work. We got married, but it was clear by the time that Addison was born that Lacey was not the maternal type and had no interest in bonding with a baby. Instead, she continued to go out and party, leaving Addison with sitters or with me. When Addison was three, she walked out on us and signed over all her parental rights to me. We haven't seen her since.”

Renee stared at him incredulously, but he wasn't done yet. “Addison had such a difficult time adjusting after her mother's complete and total abandonment, and it took months for her not to ask for Lacey, or cry and throw tantrums because she didn't understand where her mommy was.”

“I'm so sorry, Jake,” Renee said, her voice soft with compassion.

Her appreciated her understanding, and prayed that this discussion went a long way in repairing the damage he'd done to their relationship. “It was tough on both of us, and it made me extremely protective of Addison, to the point that I decided that I wouldn't introduce another woman into her life until I was certain the relationship meant something. It was easier not to mention I had a daughter to the women I briefly dated, because those temporary relationships were mostly about sex, not any kind of emotional connection.”

Slowly, he approached Renee, feeling optimistic when she didn't try and skirt his advance. Stopping in front of her, he reached out and tenderly tucked a strand of silky hair behind her ear, her eyes bright and luminous and most importantly, forgiving. “But then you contacted me, and we started this online thing that began as something fun and sexy, and eventually, for me, evolved into a real need to be with you. Every night, I couldn't wait for us to talk, to see your smile, to hear about your day. And that's when I knew that I was falling hard for you.”

“Really?” she whispered, her eyes wide.

“Yes,
really
.” Since she was letting him touch her, he took her hands in his, wanting her to feel the connection between them. “I had every intention of telling you about Addison this weekend. Whatever this thing between us is, I trust and believe in it, and it's been years since I've felt that way about a woman. I want you in my life, and Addison's, and not just in emails and Skype, but in person. I know that we have logistical stuff to work out, but I'm hoping that you feel the same way.”

She laughed, initially startling him. “I do feel the same way,” she assured him, those insecurities he'd seen earlier now gone. “And I would like nothing more than to see what kind of relationship we can build together, in person. With your daughter involved.”