Happier Than She's Ever Been... (5 page)

May took the next day off from the bookshop and, leaving Ben painting the walls of the Magical Mystery section bright yellow, set off downtown to give a book reading in a little café. The owner, a regular customer of Ben's, had invited May along to entertain her customers one afternoon and May, extremely flattered at the offer, had said yes.

The Tea Cup was a sweet coffee shop that reminded May a little of The Cocoa Café. Light pink-and-white-striped wallpaper lined the walls, and creamy soft sofas and chairs were scattered across fluffy carpets. It was, May thought, rather like walking into a bowl of multicoloured marshmallows, and she loved it.

The first time May had done a book reading at Ben's bookshop – suggested and organised by him – she'd been dragged to it kicking and screaming. Not literally, but almost. Although May had really wanted to connect with other women, to tell them about her experiences, about what she learnt about life, love and weight-loss, and to help them if she could, she'd also been terrified that no one would show up, or only one person would, thus making her humiliation public, or that many people would arrive but they'd all hate it and boo her off. As it was, seven women came along, each clutching a copy of
Men, Money and Chocolate
, and they'd listened closely while she talked about her life, asked May for advice on theirs and clapped with great enthusiasm at the end. When she saw their faces at the end, full of renewed hope for love and excitement for life, May was absolutely touched and delighted. She'd found her calling, her way to give back to world, to say thank you for everything she'd been given.

Today about thirty people came, filling the little café to the brim. They crowded onto the sofas and comfy chairs and even spilled onto the carpets. They were all drinking coffee, eating cake and holding her book in their hands.

‘Hello, welcome.' May smiled, stepping through the crowd to the back of the café where a chair awaited her. ‘It's lovely to see you all here.' As she sat May waved to Alice, the owner, who stood behind the counter serving customers. She smiled and waved back, nodding an invitation to begin.

‘I'm really honoured you all came, and even bought my book.' May grinned, still amazed that people actually bought something she'd written and sold all by herself. ‘So, well, while you're enjoying Alice's yummy cakes, I thought I'd read you the first chapter of my book. I do hope you like it.'

Twenty minutes later everyone in The Tea Cup was clapping and May was beaming. She signed books, smiled, spoke individually to everyone, gave them advice and help when they asked for it, and wondered how on earth her life had worked out this way.

She could hardly believe that it was less than two years ago that she'd been so unhappy she could barely get out of bed in the morning. When she'd sat in her own café, devouring croissants in a guilt-laden frenzy, desperately wondering why she couldn't win a battle of wills with a chocolate fudge cake and trying not to sob at the sight of her cake-rounded belly under her apron. When every day she'd tried to impose a strict diet on herself, and every day she'd succumbed to temptation. When she'd tried to write, to find fulfilment in words, but couldn't find the time, energy or creativity to do anything more than simply get through her day. When she'd been in love with the tall, blond and heart-stoppingly gorgeous Jake, the one she pursued even though she knew he could never love her, and the one she drove away with her neediness and desperation.

She couldn't believe that now, despite what Rose had warned, all that was behind her and now she was actually able to help those going through the same things she'd finally triumphed over. Such was May's delight, such was her gratification at touching the lives and hearts of all these women, that it eclipsed her worries about Ben and her dream with Rose. And when she'd finally finished chatting to readers and thanking Alice, May decided to hold onto the feeling of gratification and use the focus of helping others to push all her fears aside. Which, she was rather surprised to discover, wasn't too hard at all.

‘Hi, honey, I'm home,' May called out as she stepped into the flat. An almighty crash came from the kitchen, and what sounded like the entire contents of the pots and pans cupboard clattered to the floor. Ben ran out of the kitchen, skidding along the wooden floors and colliding with May as she closed the door behind her.

‘Wow, what's up?' May smiled at him as he danced from one foot to the other, looking into his big brown eyes lit up with excitement.

‘I have amazing news,' Ben exclaimed, ‘absolutely amazing news.'

‘Oh?' May asked, wanting to kiss him. ‘What – what is it?'

‘Sit down.' Ben took May's hand and led her over to the sofa. ‘You've got to be sitting down for this.'

May followed, wondering what he was so excited about, wishing the moment would last forever and almost believing that it could, no matter what Rose had said. May sat while Ben stood in front of her, clasping her hands and jumping from one foot to the other. She gazed up at him expectantly and suddenly Ben stood perfectly still.

‘May,' he said softly, ‘I think I've found you a publisher.'

May paced up and down the pavement outside The Tea Cup, where she'd arranged to meet the publisher for coffee and cake. Not that she'd be able to eat a single thing. Her stomach was rumbling now and May wished she could shut it up, but she was so nauseous with nerves she couldn't.

It had taken a moment or two for Ben's words to sink in. They'd hovered in the air like hummingbirds, fluttering bright and beautiful, far too fast to hold. But the beating of their wings echoed in May's ears and finally she'd been able to focus and listen to his story. The woman had walked into Ben's bookshop that afternoon, and they'd started to chat about books: their favourites, the ones they'd read at least ten times over, the few they'd never finished. At some point in the conversation Ben had boasted about May's debut work of self-published fiction and was delighted to discover the woman had already read and loved it.

‘Well, it does have a permanent post in the window,' he'd said, smiling at May, ‘and I do promote it at least once a week.'

‘Yes, yes, you're wonderful and amazing and the very best boyfriend in the whole wide world.' May grinned. ‘Now, what did she say next?'

Ben explained that the woman ran a small company: Insight & Inspiration Publishing, dedicated to books she believed would help transform the world, ‘or at least the hearts and minds of those who read them.' And she thought May's could be one such book.

‘She wants to meet you tomorrow,' Ben had said, ‘if you're free.'

‘If I'm free?' May had squealed, jumping up and down on the sofa, while Ben laughed. ‘
If
I'm free?'

They'd danced around the living room and when she'd finally stopped squealing May had given Ben deep, soft kisses that lasted long into the night.

May glanced at her watch and stood still. She was still twenty-three and a half minutes early, and if she kept marching up and down the pavement she'd pass out before the publisher even arrived. So, deciding to go inside, sit and try to calm down, May opened the door and went in.

‘I'm here to meet a real live publisher,' May explained to Alice, who stood behind the counter, cutting a cake.

‘As opposed to a fake, imaginary one?' Alice smiled, handed her a slice of hazelnut chocolate cake that May knew, given the still topsy-turvy nature of her stomach, would go horribly to waste.

‘Well, there have been a fair few of those, believe me,' May said, remembering her old life and the endless hours daydreaming and fantasising about one day being published. Fantasies that, of course, also included marrying Jake and being able to indulge in vast quantities of chocolate cake without putting on a single pound.

‘Take the table next to the window,' Alice suggested. ‘Sit in the chair next to the wall. It's lucky. A lot of very fantastic things have happened to people sitting in that chair. It's had more than its share of marriage proposals, let me tell you.'

‘Really?' May asked, wide-eyed, her heart quickening as she thought of Ben. They'd never talked about that, though she thought about it, hoped for it often enough. She was nervous about the subject that might follow it though: children. When her mother died May developed a fear of becoming a mother herself. She worried that she wouldn't be enough, that she wouldn't know what to do and how to do it right and, since she wouldn't be able to go to her own incredible mother for help, she might scar them for life. And that she couldn't quite bear.

‘Yep.' Alice handed her a cappuccino. ‘And now the chair can have its first ever book deal. How cool.'

‘Oh, well, I don't know about that,' May mumbled, desperately trying not to get her hopes up too much in case they were soon to come crashing down in disappointment. ‘I hope, I wish, but… we'll see.'

After May settled herself into the lucky chair, trying to swallow some cake and silence her rumbling belly, the next seventeen and a half minutes were the longest of her life. She tapped her finger on the table, crumbled the cake into a pile of crumbs and gazed out of the window, trying to distract herself from her nerves.

At ten past twelve exactly a short, slim woman, with shiny blonde hair in a pixie cut that highlighted her big green eyes, stepped into the café. Before she reached the counter she stopped and glanced around the room. Then, spotting May at the window, smiled and turned to walk to her.

‘You, I see from the photo on your book jacket, must be May.' She reached out her hand. ‘I'm Olivia Greene, but call me Lily.'

May stood, trying not to tremble, and she shook Lily's hand and smiled.

‘It's lovely to meet you, Lily.' May forced herself to stop grinning, lest the publisher think she was a crazy person, and gently let go of her hand, though she wanted to hold on tight and kiss it.