Harvest of the Gods (24 page)

It flowed through me, strengthening my soul as well as my body and comforting me as Spring had tried to. The magic was happy, like Aphrodite's had been, to belong to someone who wanted only good things from it, who wanted to use it positively. It raced into my cells, filling me with the full heat of Summer.

Then Fall came into me, a dry wind with the scent of burning leaves and rich soil. This was a fertile time as well, a time of gathering, and I felt the rattle of dry leaves blow through me with a cooling breeze. The neutral colors filled my mind and then they crumbled away with a happy chuckle. They died so the earth could be renewed and they did it gladly. A
s gladly as Odin died for you
, they whispered.
Gods know the power of sacrifice even better than humans do. Don't waste it, hold tight to the offering and use it to become stronger.

I felt the last of the magic roost inside me with a feeling of settling leaves and I let out a shuddering breath as I fell back into Trevor and Kirill. They caught me easily, lowering us all to the ground where I could see Odin better. Someone had placed his head back with his body and he almost looked okay, except for the red gash that ran along his neck. I screamed then, like my reaction had been on pause until that very moment, and the whole room shuddered from the shock of it. So I screamed again and again until my voice was hoarse and all I could do was whimper.

I pushed their hands away and crawled over to him,
my dead lover. My savior. I laid my body beside his, my hand sliding up to his face as I buried my own face into his chest, wishing I had someone to pray to, someone to beg to bring him back. A horrible thought entered my head, that it was my just desserts for leaving him all those centuries ago. That now it was my turn to feel the aching loss of knowing that I'd never have the one I loved beside me. I'd never again see Odin smile.

Then there were wings around me and gentle hands on my skin. A tingling warmth spread into my chest, easing back the anger and grief enough for me to take a cleansing breath. Black feathers blocked out everything but Odin, myself, and my angel. I leaned back a little and sighed, letting the comfort only the Angel of Death could bring wash over me.

“Azrael,” I whispered with my raw throat. “How did you know?”

“
How could I not?” His cheek was against my face and I could feel his own tears mingling with mine. “Have you forgotten our bond? Your grief was like a spear to my heart. It pulled me right to you.”

“
A spear,” I sobbed and looked back at him. “Make sure someone takes care of Gungnir.”

“
Vidar has it,” Azrael whispered and I suddenly realized that I'd forgotten my sons.

“
Vidar,” I pushed back against Az a little and his wings opened and folded behind him. “Vali.”

“
They're right here,” Azrael extended a hand gracefully and I saw my sons, kneeling side by side beside us, faces stricken and red with grief.

I reached out for them and Azrael backed away to allow my boys to surround me. We cried together, sobbing over Odin's corpse, and I wondered if they'd done something similar with
mine. I hated myself then, for doing this to them, for leaving them to deal with this. I hadn't truly understood the grief I'd put them through until that moment. How crippling it was, how impossible to think beyond. Even though I'd stopped screaming, the sound of it still filled my head with a constant horror and I knew I'd do anything to get Odin back and make it stop. An eye was the least of what I would sacrifice.

Then I felt a comforting warmth surround us that was even stronger than what Azrael had brought me. His magic was there still but this was heat and life, the beat of animal hearts and the strong love inside them. I looked up to find both the Froekn and the Intare pressed into us, arms wound around each other, forming half-circles around us that extended through the room and out, past the doorway and into the next. The waves of compassion flowed inward and a soft keening filled the air as my family joined us in mourning.

Finally, when I was so spent I could barely move, Vidar and Vali helped me to my feet and put me in the arms of my men. I stood aside as they lifted their father, Vali holding his body while Vidar cradled his head. I let out one more gut-wrenching sob to see him carried like that and then stilled as they passed me, heads lifted high. They knew as well as I did that Odin had sacrificed his life for mine. It seemed like all he'd done since the day he'd met me was sacrifice for me and now he could do no more. He'd given it all.

“
Come, Minn Elska,” Trevor said softly. “It's time to leave this horrible place.”

And then I fainted.

Chapter Forty-Eight

The week that followed passed in a blur. I know people asked me questions, my sons were often the ones asking, but beyond that I'm not sure what I even said. I just sat there mostly, fingering my emerald pendant and wishing that my ring could change the past instead of just letting me relive it.

I even considered going back with the ring, to a time I'd spent with Odin so I could relive some happiness with him. I didn't though. I knew I'd never accept his death if I kept reliving our life together. Maybe later, sometime in the future when I'd healed a little more, I could reminisce in person.

At the end of the week I remembered what all the questions had been about but only because Trevor, Kirill, and Azrael had come to escort me to Odin's funeral. I had stared blankly at them a bit and they'd ended up helping me dress, they even brushed my hair for me and put gloss on my lips. I remember thinking how silly that was, lip gloss. Why did I care if my lips were glossy? What did it matter? What did anything matter when Odin was dead?

But I let them do as they wanted, it was easier than talking and when Trevor pulled me into his arms, I let him do that too. I sank into him as he traced us to Valhalla and I clung to his arm as he led me outside Odin's golden Hall.

It was full night in Asgard so the path to the pier was lined with torches, the firelight somehow making it all feel surreal. My men escorted me to the end of the pier; Trevor on one side, Kirill on the other, and Azrael behind us with wings lifted high like a banner announcing to all that here I was, the death of Odin. I huffed a little to myself, wondering how many people had actually had Azrael in attendance at their funerals. Not in his professional capacity but simply as a mourner. Death himself mourned for Odin
and still I felt that it wasn't enough.

We finally reached the end of the pier where Odin's longship was waiting along with a huge gathering of gods. The faces blurred for me, I had no idea who was there beyond my lovers who kept a hand upon me constantly.

We went onto the ship and I saw a pallet laid out in the spot where I'd made love to Odin on numerous occasions. That was a bit rough for me and I almost started to bawl like a baby. I caught my breath and stood very still as Azrael carried a thick mattress on board and put it on the wooden pallet. Then he laid linens out and pillows. I frowned, what was all this then?

When he was finished, Vidar and Vali carried Odin's body on board using a litter adorned with flowers. They'd somehow reattached his head and he looked to be asleep, his face as peaceful as it was upon his death. I knew with absolute certainty that Odin had chosen his death, had gone willingly before that blade, knowing he was trading his life for mine. The conversation we'd had earlier suddenly passed through my mind and I gasped, wondering if Odin had foreseen this, had some kind of premonition. In that moment I was jealous and angry over his decision. Having experienced both sides, I now knew it was much easier to be mourned than to be the mourner. Tears began to slide over my cheeks.

They laid him out on the bed, transferring the flowers to surround him again, and then Thor came forward with a shield, a sword, and a spear; Gungnir. His face was etched with sorrow, I'd never seen Thor look so wounded and I'll never forget the way his face collapsed when he laid Odin's weapons around him. For a moment I wished I had the strength to comfort him, to go and take his hand and tell him all would be well, that we'd get through this together but I could barely believe that myself. There was no way I could comfort anyone in the state I was in.

I was a little surprised that they were going to send Gungnir
off with Odin, it being a magical spear, but I guess tradition is tradition and I wasn't about to interfere. I'm sure it would have been what Odin would have wanted. He was big on following the Norse customs, those were his people and warmongering or not, Odin had loved his followers.

There were no other offerings, no food or items that Odin might need in the afterlife, because we all knew that there was no afterlife for Odin. There had been no one there to claim his spirit, no one who could have carried him into another territory so that he may live on. Azrael had come too late, there would be no Heaven for the Allfather or Hell either for that matter, one or two Ls.

I had a sudden jolt of panic fill my chest as I thought of how I really didn't know what happened to Odin. He could be anywhere or nowhere and I didn't know what would be worse. Was he simply gone, not existing anywhere anymore, or was he being tortured in some horrible dark place? Maybe he was just floating in some empty space, wishing he could get back to me.

I pushed those thoughts away as I was escorted from the ship and led up the pier. I couldn't focus too intently on them or they'd drive me insane and I'd start screaming again. Nobody wanted that and I didn't want to shame Odin's memory by going nutso at his funeral. So I took a few calming breaths and carried on.

We all turned and watched silently as the ship was released from its mooring and started to drift away into the center of Asgard's lake. Then Vali stepped forward and lit the tip of an arrow from a brazier set up on the end of the pier. He pulled back on his bow and let the arrow fly.

It sailed through the dark sky like a phoenix, landing in the middle of the dragon ship. The wood caught easily and soon the entire ship was on fire, lighting the sky with tongues of orange and yellow. So beautiful and such a perfect way to say goodbye to Odin but my soul was unsettled and when the flames reached the dragon's head my own dragon roared inside me in denial. Even
she knew that this wasn't right.

Then, from out of the fire, came a flash of gold, rocketing through the air to land at my feet. I stared down in confusion at the glowing spear embedded in the wood of the pier, its shaft still vibrating with the power that had sent it to me. Gungnir? Why was it here? What the hell was this about?

“You must take it, Carus,” Azrael was behind me, his hand on my shoulder. “The spear has chosen. It doesn't want to follow Odin's body into the void. It wants to stand beside you, the woman he loved.”

I wrapped my hand around the silky wood and when I did, the runes carved into it flashed bright white once before fading out. I could feel the magic within the wood, a shimmering energy barely held in check. It was Odin, his magic, and I knew then why it had come back to me. Even in death, Odin refused to leave me unprotected. Gungnir had returned to watch over me since Odin no longer could. I grasped it more firmly and pulled it free from the pier. As I lifted it upright a resolve formed inside me. I would find Odin's soul, if it could be found at all. I would go after him as he had done for me, and I would bring him back.

“I'll see you back at the beginning, my love,” I whispered as the boat started to crumble, fiery pieces of it falling into the water to steam.

Chapter Forty-Nine

Someone stepped into my path on the way back to Valhalla for the funeral feast. I frowned a little, leaning on Gungnir like a staff, and looked up.

“Mom?” My face fell, tears instantly running down my cheeks as she came forward and hugged me.

“
Vervain, I'm so sorry,” she held me while I cried. Funny how seeing my mom broke the dam of numbness for me. I guess we all want our Mommy when things go bad.

“
He's dead,” I whispered as if she didn't know. “Mom, Odin's dead.”

“
I know,” she slid to the side so she could wrap an arm around my waist and help me down the path. “He was a good man, I liked him.”

“
He saved my life.”

“
Then I love him,” she smiled sadly, “and I'm very grateful to him.”

“
Yeah well he kinda owed you one anyway,” I huffed, thinking of how he'd made her go through a teen pregnancy to have me.

“
Huh?”

“
Never mind,” I stopped suddenly, Trevor thumping into my back. “How did you get here?”

“
Kirill brought me,” she glanced at him and smiled. “Popped up on my front porch in California and told me what had happened. Then he brought me here. Why didn't you tell me tracing was possible? You could have saved me a long plane ride when Grandpa died.”

“
Damn, I didn't even think about it,” I gaped at her.

“
Well, next time I have to travel, I'm calling you,” she looked up at Valhalla as we entered, her eyes growing large. “This place is immense.”

“
I know, it's a little overwhelming,” I frowned as I heard an obscene wailing and looked over to see the Valkyries crying all over each other.

“
Looks like a lot of people loved him,” Mom observed drily.

“
Those are the Valkyries,” I shrugged, “it's kind of their job to love him.”

“
I'll take care of it,” Thor brushed by us and went to coral the women. He shooed them further into the side of the hall, to a seating area a good hundred feet away, so their crying wouldn't be so very abrasive.

“
Come on, Minn Elska,” Trevor took my arm and gestured to the high table. “And Minn Elska's Mother,” he gave my mom a little smile.

We went up the dais and sat at the high table, facing the rest of the gathering. Along with my lovers and my mother were my sons, Vidar and Vali, and Thor. Fenrir was sitting with the Froekn at a table to our right and the Intare were across from them on our left. I blinked in surprise when I realized just how many people were there. I mean, I knew Odin was popular but after he switched sides for me in the God War, I figured his popularity had waned. I'd been wrong.

There were so many people that tables had to be set up behind the usual ones which were lined down the length of the hall. I saw several faces I knew, including all of the God Squad, but there were also a whole lot of them that I didn't recognize. If I hadn't been so grief stricken, I might have felt concerned that there were so many strange gods in the room with me. As it was, I was only curious.

“
Who are they?” I whispered to Trevor and looked back out
to the assemblage.

“
They're gods who respected Odin,” Trevor brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “They've all come to show him their respect.”

“
Who's that?” I nodded my head to a beautiful blonde woman seated a few tables down from us on the right. She was staring at me with a mixture of curiosity and contempt. I knew that look, I'd seen it on women before, and I suddenly guessed who she was. “Frigg.”

“
Yeah,” Trevor gave her a nod and she nodded back before turning away. “She's probably not your biggest fan.”

“
No, she wouldn't be,” I sighed, hoping that I hadn't made yet another enemy who was going to try to kill me. “She thinks I stole her husband and now she probably thinks I killed him. Then there's her son, I'm sure she blames me for Balder's death as well.”

“
Don't worry about Frigg right now,” Trevor patted my hand.

“
To Odin!” A man stood a little ways down the hall and lifted his mug. “The most devious strategist I knew!”

“
To Odin!” Everyone cheered and drank.

It went on that way for awhile, people standing and acknowledging some reason they admired Odin. I sat back, wondering if Odin could hear it all. Did he know how much they'd respected him? It was a shame we all missed our own funerals, these are the things people want to hear when they're alive. Why can't we say them before death?

“To Odin!” Horus stood up and raised his glass. “When Atlantis fell, he found room in his boat for me and my parents,” Horus waved a hand back at stunning Egyptian couple. “He saved our lives and it doesn't surprise me that he gave his life to save Vervain. As
much as we called him Oathbreaker, Odin was full of honor and he shall be missed.”

“
To Odin!” Everyone cheered.

I stared at Horus, shocked and grateful for his beautiful speech. He raised his glass to me and nodded, a tear falling down his cheek. I mouthed a thank you to him, for both the speech and that tear, which said more to me than his words had.

Fallon stood with Samantha, “Odin saved the life of my Tima,” he said as he lifted his mug. “He did it out of love for her but in doing so he also saved all of the Intare for without her we would go wild, lose ourselves and these lives we've finally been able to create,” he hugged Samantha close and she sent me a sympathetic look. “Intare, present!” My lions all stood, lifted their mugs, and roared. The hall echoed with it and it resounded in my soul, the call of my lions. “Hail Odin!”

“
Hail Odin!” They all cheered and drank before returning to their seats.

Trevor stood and I looked up at him in surprise. “Odin and I didn't always get along,” that got him a few chuckles from the room. “It's hard to accept a man who married your soul mate first. But I did accept him and I found him to be a man of great loyalty and intelligence. In the end, he did what I couldn't do, he saved the woman we love, and by doing that, he saved me as well. Most of you know that I'm bound to Vervain, when she dies, I will happily follow her into death. So when I say that Odin saved my life too, I mean it quite literally. Thank you, Odin. Thank you for Vervain and for myself. To Odin!”

“To Odin!” Another round of cheering and more drinking.

Trevor settled back beside me and I took his hand, giving him a quick peck on the cheek for good measure. Then I my attention was caught as Vidar stood, everyone getting quiet to hear what the Silent One had to say.

“My father was a great leader,” he started, “a savior to many,” he waved his hand out to indicate people who'd made the previous speeches, “and a villain to many more.” A ripple of amusement at that. “He ruled Asgard and gave an afterlife to those who gave of their magic to us,” he indicated the silent Viking warriors who stood around the edges of the tables with grim respect. “Some of you admired him for his might in battle, some of you for his wit and cunning, but I... my brothers and I,” he put a hand on Vali's shoulder and nodded to Thor, who was seated next to Vali, “knew another side of him. He taught us that there are times to fight for what you believe in and times to sacrifice for what you love. That neither fighting nor loving made you a man but rather knowing
when
to fight and
how
to love. My father loved as fiercely as he fought, knowing exactly when to draw sword and when to bend his head to the blade. To my father, to Odin!”

“
To Odin!” I closed my eyes against my tears as the room thundered with the call again.

Fenrir got up and walked into the center of the room. He had a mug in his hand and a grim expression on his face. He raised his wooden mug and the Froekn howled, the mournful sound sending chills over my skin. Fenrir added his voice to the group and it carried up to me, expressing his love and support more thoroughly than words ever could.

“Many of you here have hunted me,” Fenrir announced and my eyes went wide as I searched the crowd. Fuck, what now? “Have hunted my children. You persecuted me for being different, monstrous, an abomination in the eyes of the High Twenty of Atlantis. Relax,” he grinned, showcasing very sharp teeth. “We are here tonight for Odin and you're safe... for now.” Nervous laughter trickled about the room.

“
He was hunted?” My Mom whispered to me.

“
Yes,” I said, keeping my eyes on him. “By his own people.”

“
Poor thing,” she said and I almost laughed. She was probably the only person who had ever used those words in reference to Fenrir.

“
I spent many years on the run; hiding, protecting my children,” Fenrir frowned and swallowed hard. I sat forward in my seat, sensing that he was about to reveal something momentous. “Everyone knows this but what no one knows is that not only did Odin refuse to hunt me or mine, he gave me my territory and helped me build my Hall.” Gasps circulated and my mouth fell open. “I would have found a place for us eventually, we Froekn persevere, but Odin helped us before we were strong. He helped the Froekn become who we are today and then he refused to take credit for it. Only myself and my oldest son knew the truth,” I glanced at Trevor and he gave me a sad smile. “Odin wanted no thanks for helping us, saying that he was only righting the wrong that had been done us. That the Atlanteans had behaved shamefully towards one of their own and he could stomach it no longer. The Allfather gave me and mine a home, a future, and hope that not all of you are complete bastards.”

There were quite a few guilty expressions when I looked around the room, one on a man with only one hand. I remembered then the Froekn saying of “Reach out a hand to harm a Froekn and you shall lose it.” It was created when Andrasta betrayed them to Tyr. Fenrir had taken Tyr's hand that day and I had a feeling that was the god himself, sitting just a few feet away from Fenrir, and looking almost as nervous as he did guilty.

“Magic sustains us,” Fenrir continued, “and we are all a slave to it in some way. The myth of Ragnarok says that Odin attacks me with Gungnir and that I kill him. As Odin died, Gungnir was compelled to fulfill that prophecy. It jerked from Odin's hands, going straight towards my heart, and with his last bit of strength Odin diverted the spear and sent it instead into my shoulder. He didn't just save Vervain that day, he once again saved me. To Odin!” He raised his mug and then drank deep before
returning to his seat. The room was too shocked to mimic his toast.

I gaped at Fenrir's retreating figure. I had no idea how noble Odin had been or that with his death, he'd saved Fenrir as well. I looked over at Trevor and he took my hand, nodding his head. He'd known what Odin had done. He must have seen it, he was standing right beside me at the time. And yet they hadn't told me,  instead they allowed me to have that last bit of him for myself.

I stood up and the room quieted. My stomach clenched and I took a deep breath. I didn't want to do this, stand there and face the fact that Odin was gone, admit it to a bunch of strangers, but I knew it was not only expected but deserved. He'd saved my life, the least I could do was speak for him.

“
Odin was my husband,” I said quietly and then swallowed and strengthened my voice. “Maybe not in this life but in my heart we were still married. He loved me so much that he refused to let me go. He made a deal with Death,” I looked over and smiled at Azrael, where he was seated next to my Mom, and he smiled back. “To take me to Hvergelmir instead of Heaven. He bartered his eye for the knowledge to bring me back and then he put me inside my mother,” I held a hand out to my mom, “and let me go. He lost me and mourned me all over again but fate has a sense of humor it seems,” I looked over and gave Thor a sad smile, he shook his head ruefully.

There was a light smattering of laughter through the hall.

“I was brought back to him by his own son,” I continued, “and boy was that Hell.. two Ls not one.” I searched the hall and was surprised to see that Hel was actually in attendance. I grimaced at her and she gave me a sort of disbelieving grin while everyone laughed. “Odin did that a lot: suffered for me. He gave up a lot to be with me until finally,” I took a shaky breath and collected myself. “Finally, he gave everything. Odin didn't just save my life, he
gave
me life, over and over. Gave me my sons,” I smiled at Vali and Vidar. “Twice. He gave me all the love he had
and his fidelity beyond the grave. He gave me so much but when he died, he took so much more from me. To Odin!” I lifted my glass. “To the god I love.”

“
To Odin!” They all cheered and I emptied my glass with them.