Hay and Heartbreak (4 page)

“Any time. I’m always happy to help out someone who’s trying to help themselves. Kinda like God.” Clarence chuckled then put the car in reverse. “Later.”

Dan headed for his apartment on the third floor. The elevator wasn’t trustworthy—seemed like someone got stuck in it at least once a day—so he jogged up the stairs. He wasn’t winded at all when he reached his floor.

Once he was inside with the door locked, Dan called Duke. When it went straight to voicemail, he began to worry. He found Frankie’s number and called him next. When Frankie answered on the third ring, Dan almost whimpered with relief. He’d gotten real worried, real quick.

“Hello?”

“Frankie, this is Dan.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve got caller ID on here and your number’s programmed in.”

There was an awkward moment, on Dan’s part at least, where he thought Frankie was irked at him but wasn’t sure if that was the case, or why it’d be the case. “Uh.” Dan wracked his brain, then asked, “How are you and Duke?”

Frankie sighed. “Well, Duke’s horse threw him last week when a rattlesnake spooked it, and—”

“What?” Dan’s heart pounded. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Can I finish?” Frankie sounded a mite irritated.

“Sorry.” Dan pressed his lips together.

“Sorry, too. I’m just— Your brother is a bitchy injured person, you know? He broke his arm and ankle, but at least he didn’t hit his head this time. Just landed wrong. It happened Friday, and it’s been a rough four days around here.”

That sounded like an understatement. “There’s not a good way to land when you get thrown like that,” Dan heard Duke say. “And I ain’t bitchy!”

“Are too,” Frankie muttered. “Anyway, we were a man short before that, so we were both really busy. Now… Well, now I’ve had my hands full with him, and he didn’t want you worrying. Plus, he has that whole macho thing going. I should have called, but, well, to be honest, there’s not much you could do and—”

“And I never call y’all, almost never, I mean,” Dan butted in. “But there’s something I can do. I can come up to Montana and see y’all for myself. Maybe I can help, or keep Duke company, if he can’t work much.”

Frankie was silent for so long, Dan feared he’d gone to sleep. Then he finally spoke up. “You’d do that?”

Dan felt like shit. He’d been so busy trying to keep from being disappointed or forgotten again that he’d made Frankie and Duke feel like he didn’t care enough about them. Dan wasn’t sure exactly where he was with his emotions in regards to Duke or Frankie, but he
did
love his brother and didn’t want to hurt him, or Frankie.

“Yeah,” Dan said, his voice gruff. “We’re family and all.” He’d figure out how to pay for a plane ticket. If it meant borrowing money to do so, well, he’d swallow his pride and do what he had to. The funding thing Martha had set up for him had helped, but Dan had asked her to shut it down after the first month or so, and he’d been scraping by ever since.

“We’ll pay for your plane ticket,” Frankie offered. “It’d be worth it to have you helping out with Duke.”

“I’m not helpless!” Duke bellowed. “I am
not
a goddamned baby!”

“Then stop acting like one, okay?” Frankie said in a much more patient voice than Dan likely would have managed.

Duke sounded ornery, not that Dan blamed him. He bit back the impulse to reject Frankie’s offer. “That’d… That’d be mighty nice of y’all, and when—
if
—I get that settlement, I’ll pay y’all back, with interest. Sooner, if I can find a job.”

Frankie hummed like he was thinking on something, but whatever it was, he never said. Instead the next thing Dan knew, he was talking to Duke, and soon after that, feeling his way through chewing Duke out for not letting Dan know he’d been hurt.

By the end of the call, Frankie had booked his ticket. Dan called Clarence to let him know what had happened and that he would be out of town for a few weeks. Then he went and packed a duffle with his few clothes. He had a flight to catch in the morning. He wasn’t sure how he felt about flying, but he’d soon find out.

Guilt plagued Dan. He’d been a thoughtless ass, and that needed to stop. He
would
stop. Starting now, he’d be the kind of brother he hoped to have.

“You can only get what you give,” he said, though that didn’t sound right. To him, it implied he was only angling to get something in return for his own actions. Maybe that was true, in a way, but he wanted to be a better brother to Duke, and a better in-law to Frankie, simply because they deserved it. They were good people, and Dan was ready to let go of his doubts and insecurities, his abandonment issues. It wouldn’t happen instantly, he knew that.

“At least I’m trying.” That counted, and he was sincere about making changes. He’d missed out on too much of Duke’s life already, too much of his own. It finally hit him, fully, that he could have dreams, and goals—a future that didn’t involve a criminal record. He’d known it objectively, but the past few months he’d been floating through his life, or perhaps
slogging
through it was more appropriate a description. He’d been afraid to believe in himself, or anything or anyone else.

Duke being hurt scared Dan more than anything had in a long, long time. He wasn’t going to let anything prevent him from having as good of a relationship with Duke and Frankie as possible.

That decided, Dan turned off the overhead light and lay down in his bed. He idly toyed with his cock, knowing it would relax him and help him sleep if he got off. He was kind of excited about going somewhere outside of Alabama, though the reason for it was weighing on him.

Still, to see what it was like in another state, and one so far away, Dan was reminded of being a kid on Christmas Eve, back when things had been good and he’d been too stimulated to sleep because he couldn’t wait for morning and presents.

He closed his eyes and imagined cowboys. Going to the Mossy Glenn Ranch could be fun in more ways than just visiting family. Dan could imagine a big, weathered cowboy bending him over a saddle on the ground and fucking him until Dan nearly passed out from the pleasure of it.

Good sex wasn’t something he’d had a lot of. Dan pushed his hands down his pajama bottoms and fondled his balls. That by itself felt nice, relaxing, even. Dan fell asleep touching himself, his mind taking him to cowboy dreams he didn’t remember much of in the morning.

* * * *

Except for the stares he got because of his scars, and the crush of bodies in the airports and planes, along with feeling like a sardine in a tin can, Dan liked flying. Didn’t care for the whole TSA experience—having to shuck his boots and belt, and before boarding his third flight, he got patted down, which wasn’t fun. Even so, being in the air, looking out of the window and seeing clouds or the landscape, depending on the height of the plane, that was a real treat.

Traveling for over nine hours sucked, though. Dan only had his carry-on bag, so he was ready to go once he disembarked. He checked his texts, made sure he remembered the name of the guy who was going to pick him up.
Hector Gallegos. Tall, stocky, tan cowboy hat.

Dan ran a hand over his brown hair and hoped he didn’t look as rank as he felt. Being around so many other bodies, in such a small space, had left him with the need to take a long shower.

He sniffed but didn’t think he smelled bad. Dan stopped fretting over himself.
It’s not like I’m in a beauty pageant, and if I was, that’d be one fucked up pageant.

Dan stepped out of the boarding bridge and into the airport. He was supposed to meet his ride outside, so he didn’t tarry. One kid pointed at him and asked her momma what happened to him. Dan didn’t blame the little girl or her mother, though he felt bad when the mom turned red and shushed her daughter.

Kids were curious. Dan got that. There was no reason to be offended by such a thing. He stepped out into the cool Montana evening and shivered. “Shit.” He hadn’t packed enough heavy clothes for cold weather.

“You must be Dan. You look just like you did in the picture Duke has.”

Dan had turned to his right before the guy finished talking. He assumed he was about to meet Hector. A tall, stocky man stood off to the side. With the decent lighting, he could make out the easy smile and dark brown eyes. “Hector?”

“Yep, that’s me.” His smile grew. “Guess you didn’t pack for the weather here?”

Dan didn’t have much, and nothing suitable for Montana winters. However, it was fall, and he’d not given much thought to how different fall was in Ashville, Montana versus Birmingham. “I didn’t think about it, just packed for Alabama weather.”

Hector laughed, and didn’t seem to be amused at Dan’s expense. “Yeah, it’s a lot cooler here, I reckon. I was born in Montana, never been anywhere else. If I had to go to Alabama, I’d probably die from heat stroke.”

“Nah, it isn’t that bad.” Dan liked the easy camaraderie he already seemed to have with Hector, and the man wasn’t bad to look at. Not what anyone would call handsome, but sturdy and masculine all the same. He sure did fit Dan’s idea of how a cowboy should look—slightly bow-legged and barrel-chested, and like he’d been made to ride horses with the sun beating down on him, or a wide-open starry night blanketing him as he sat by a campfire.

Hector winked at him. “You done eyeing me?”

Dan’s face went hot as he blushed. He ducked his head. “Sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I was just teasing.” Hector sounded contrite, his voice soft as he touched Dan’s shoulder. “Besides, I know I’m not all that much to see.”

Dan peeked sideways at him. Hector was standing on his right side, so he had to see Dan’s scars. Hector was looking him in the eyes, not gawking at his scars. Dan wasn’t sure why the cowboy had winked at him, and put it down to Hector being the real friendly sort. There was no reason for him to get flustered, Dan reasoned.

“Come on. Let’s get you out of the chilly air.” Hector kept his hand on Dan’s shoulder as they walked. “I’m not parked far from here. See that truck there?” He pointed to a dark colored vehicle in the parking lot.

Dan couldn’t tell the make or model, or even the color, but he nodded. “Yeah.”

“That’s my baby. First new truck I’ve ever owned. Just bought him last month.”

“Him?” Dan asked, noticing the way Hector was all but glowing with pride.

“Of course. All the straight guys I know named their trucks after women. Since its men I find sexy, I named mine Matt.” Hector had that wide grin in place again. “You know, ’cause of Matt Bomer. Talk about sexy. Mm-mm.”

Dan glanced around to make sure no one overheard that. No one was very close to them. He couldn’t help feeling a little paranoid though, because despite the ruling on equality by the Supreme Court, Dan doubted it’d go over well if he started making out with a guy right then and there. Not that he and Hector were going to do any such thing, but it was good for him to keep in mind that homophobia was still a very real issue.

Still, considering his brother worked on a ranch run by gay men and employing people from the Rainbow family, as Duke called them, Dan guessed not everyone in the state was a bigot. The ranch hadn’t been burned down or anything, after all.

“You do know who Matt Bomer is, right?” Hector asked.

Dan almost retorted with ‘duh’ but refrained. He was tired and a tad cranky, and there was no need to expose Hector to that. “Yeah, I do. Saw him in that stripper movie.”

Hector chortled and moved his hand off Dan’s shoulder. “Oh yeah, that movie gets played a
lot
in the bunkhouse, let me tell you. I bet the bosses watch it often, too.”

“Bosses?” Dan didn’t know a whole lot about the running of the ranch, and wasn’t sure he needed to know much, but he was curious. There was something different in the way Hector’s voice had dipped when he’d said ‘bosses’.

Hector coughed and his smile seemed a little forced. “Yeah, er, there’s three of them that run the place for the owners back in Texas. Has Duke talked about them?”

Dan shrugged. “He might have mentioned them. We mostly talk about other things.”

Hector stopped by a big Ford F-250 Lariat. Up close, Dan could see it was black.

“He is a really nice truck,” he said.

Hector ran a hand down the passenger door. “Yeah, he’s my baby, and with what he cost, he better last until I die.” He opened the door. “Hop in, Dan.”

The interior was as luxurious as any Dan had ever seen. He got in and closed the door while Hector walked around to the driver’s side. Once Hector was in, too, Dan buckled up. “I didn’t realize they made trucks this nice.” Hadn’t thought about it, really.

“More truck than I need maybe, but I love it.” Hector started the engine. “I saved for years so I could buy the truck I’d always wanted. Little over a decade, but he’s all mine.”

A little over a decade. Close to as long as I was in prison.
Dan wondered what his brother had told Hector about him.

But he didn’t ask.

Chapter Four

The draw to Dan had begun months back, all from a glimpse of a photo that Duke had shown Hector again just that morning. Dan, in real life, was every bit as attractive, if not more so, than he appeared in that picture. There was the allure of his personality, which, combined with the man’s looks, tugged at Hector in a way no one else’s had.

He wasn’t bothered by Dan’s scars. Duke had actually warned him about them, as if Hector would see them and freak out. It was kind of offensive, really, but Hector had shrugged off his inclination to get huffy on Dan’s behalf and relegated Duke’s behavior to wanting to protect his younger brother. Hector got that. Dan was…gentle, maybe. Hector wasn’t sure just yet as he didn’t know the man. But he wanted to.

He was drawn to the flashes of intelligence and shyness he kept getting glimpses of. Dan didn’t look much like Duke, except for having the same steel gray colored eyes. Could have been that the scars marred some of the resemblance that might have been there between the brothers, or maybe they just each took after a different parent or something. It didn’t matter. Hector liked the sharp edges of Dan’s cheekbones and his wide eyes, which made him appear to be startled at times.