Read Hazards on the Hardwood (Hazards and Hijinks) Online
Authors: Patty A. Gammons
Hazards on the Hardwood (Hazards and Hijinks)
HAZARDS ON THE HARDWOOD
By
Patty A. Gammons
©
Copyright 2013, Patty A. Gammons
https://www.facebook.com/PattyAGammonsAuthor
Cover Art and book formatting by Leah Banicki
Back cover portrait: Amy Pennington Photography
All rights reserved solely by the author. The author guarantees all contents are original and do not infringe upon the legal rights of any other person or work. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the permission of the author.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work.
Dedication
This lively story is dedicated, lovingly, to Gene, my late husband and a talented dancing man!
Acknowledgements
God gave me the gift of writing and told me that this story had to be written. So I acknowledge His grace and provision.
He provided me with so much inspiration in the form of people that danced through my life, as examples and mentors. Tools of inspiration and hope!
One of my fondest memories was that of my initial dance teachers, Ted Russell and Billy Clower.
Billy Clower took over the dance studio and as a pre-teen and teenager, his instruction awakened the dancing bug in me and it kept going, even now I hear music and my feet start moving! He became a living legacy, leaving his dancing imprint upon many Ventura teens. Blessings to his family members, Danny and Bobbi; Thanks to my dear, late mom, Mary Stout, a.k.a. “Bama” – she was the creative gene that pulled my dancing and writing into the mix!
Writing was a different element of my life and there are many who inspired me: Kathi Macias, Brian Stockwell, Lena Nelson Dooley, Mary Ann Radmacher, Colleen Coble, Diann Hunt and many others!
My editor, Leslie Risner and graphics guru, Leah Banicki – without them I couldn’t have kept going.
My dear friend, mentor, prayer warrior and wonderful author, Patricia Strefling.
Our friendship started on amazon.com and we found common threads running through our “word quilt.” Along with Leah and Leslie, we became a team that lifted each other up with prayers, daily.
Thanks to my family, Brenner Graves
and wife, Valarie (who loaned me her “editing” eyes), Amy Pennington and husband, Doug, Daniel Graves, J.P. Graves, his wife Ashley and Deanna Abbott (my add-on daughter), for cheering me on.
A
huge amount of
thanks goes to Frances McBride, the wild Irish Rose!
My brilliant
granddaughter, Megan, helped me come up with some of the colorful characters and plot design. She’s older than her years; a kindred spirit. (note: somewhere in the book, there will be a flamingo mentioned – it’s kind of my trademark) Enjoy!
1
Taffy wasn’t sure that she wanted to tackle another competition with that arrogant oaf, Francois, with all his “French-ness” intruding in
to her dance bubble. Oh sure, he might be one of the best dancers she had ever partnered with, but hey, this was the dawning of a new dance era, people were tuned into ballroom more now, since “Dancing with the Stars” and “So You Think You Can Dance.” This media exposure did wonders for the ballroom dancers internationally and in the States. There were more potential partners out there than you could stir your coffee with! If it didn’t work out with “Prancer,” there were others that would promenade and quick step with her, that’s for sure!
As she sat and drank her STRONG coffee, she drifted off into thoughts of previous dance competitions she had done with “Mr. Peacock.” Every time she brought up memories of dancing, they involved Francois. She reflected on his entire persona: head erect, his posture perfect, and whether he was coming or going, the view was superb!
She could remember other ladies, (the term fit them loosely, at best), eyeing the two of them on the dance floor, whirling around, gown floating, as if on air, and HIM, oh Him! He was like an Adonis, oh, wait! No, he was like a young George Hamilton, with his love of tooth whitener and tanning booths! All “tan and teeth,” she mused.
* * * *
Note:
George Hamilton was a movie star that caused women to swoon back in the 50s, 60s and beyond. He did a “turn” on Dancing with the Stars, as well. He was famous for his excessive tan and his bright white smile.
Here endeth the lesson!
* * * *
The morning passed by quickly and she still hadn’t cracked open her new dance shoe catalog. Time to order those new shoes she’d had her eye on for a long time. If she was going to make a successful showing in this competition, she would need a pair of elegant shoes that performed magic on the dance floor. Then there was her gown choice. There were several she had in mind, but whichever gown she chose, it had to match her flaming red hair. She wanted to be a showstopper out there on the shiny freshly-waxed hardwood.
First, the dance shoe catalog –
“Go Go”
had some good choices, but then, so did
“Very Fine.”
Ah, this was always such a colossal pain. She heard herself spout a sarcastic comment, “Goofy, wait until you get your gown! What are you thinking?” This brought her back to her budget and the toughest of realities. Currently, her funds were a bit strained, working as a barista at a local coffee shop, she thought about her wages and her tips; neither would bring her much in the way of spending money for her gown and shoes.
That’s when it hit her like a five-pound container of coffee beans! Modeling! She’d done it before when she needed extra cash. Where was her phone? She needed to call Cedric Panteen, her modeling agent. Ah, dear sweet Cedric! He always came through for her with modeling gigs.
Cedric was a bit on the eccentric side, five foot one and proud of every foo-foo inch of his physique. He would definitely have something fun for her to do to earn some extra money.
She picked up her phone, found his number and waited to hear his cheery voice on the other end. “Cedric here, love.” Yes that was Cedric, sounding enthusiastic and so happy to hear from her. “What can I do for my lovely Taffy today?” His voice sounded almost musical; the way he talked had an emphasis on every syllable.
Taffy, always glad to talk to Cedric, answered, “I am getting ready to do another dance competition and you remember that it takes a lot of cash to buy all those fancy gowns and comfy shoes. Let me cut to the chase, Cedric, do you know of any modeling jobs that might be a good fit coming up in the next couple of weeks?” She waited, hopefully, for his response. Knowing that Cedric was always in the loop and very good at seeking modeling jobs for Taffy and his other model friends.
Cedric didn’t disappoint her, “Honey, for you I have two modeling jobs available. I’m having a photo shoot next Monday and I’m supposed to supply my own models for a motorcycle ad. Interested? It pays five hundred per session.” Taffy just about lost her composure and it was apparent in her voice. “Taffy? Are you there? Did you hear what I said? Five hundred bucks a session, darling! Will that help out your cause? Honey, with that money in at least three sessions, you should have your gown, shoes and a handbag to match!”
Taffy took an anxious, deep breath and answered Cedric, “When do I start? This is absolutely wonderful. But, I am almost scared to ask you what the second job is.”
Cedric cleared his throat, stifled a bit of a giggle and answered, “Sweetie, the other gig is an ad for a new all-purpose house cleaner. You will be the classic housewife, complete with sniffling, snotty-nosed kids hovering around you while you spray this smelly foamy stuff on the glistening kitchen counter. I realize this is such short notice, and the best I could do is call the ad manager and see if he would take a look at your portfolio. You do have a portfolio don’t you, Taffy?”
Reluctantly Taffy answered Cedric, “Yes, I’ll have to dig it out of my cluttered closet, but I definitely WILL find it. I haven’t needed to use it in about a year. The last time you sent me out on a photo shoot like that was for a dog biscuit commercial. I remember I accidentally laid down my portfolio on a table for the shoot and those furry little puppies chewed up five or six of my best photos. There was slobber and tooth marks on several of the other shots, as well. I’m thinking at least the kids on the shoot won’t chew up the remaining photos in my portfolio.”
“Well, honey, I will get on this and call you back once I have everything arranged. If I think of any more photo shoots available, I will let you know. Oh darn! I just spilled my latte all over my pink robe. Gotta go, sweetie pie. Love ya mean it! Tah tah, Ms Taffy. I’ll be back in touch with you later, gorgeous!”
With that, Taffy felt very encouraged. She would hopefully have the money to buy her wonderful gown and shoes by competition time. Now to contact “Mr. Perfect” and be bored beyond belief as he expounded on his wonderful-ness! She recalled that whenever she spoke to Francois on the phone there was at least a ten minute exposition on the benefits and pleasure of tanning!
Reluctantly, Taffy picked up her phone and called Francois. In a very strong French accent, the dramatic voice came through the other end of the phone, “Bonjour. Zees is Francois. How may I help you?” He was laying it in on thick with his “ever so” French accent.
“Francois, cut it. It’s me, Taffy!” She sounded a bit miffed as she spoke to this over confident poser! “You and I both know you haven’t touched French soil in at least a decade, so get over yourself!” She was fuming now. No amount of soft and sickening sweet language from Francois was going to get her going. She had to rein herself in before she was caught, once again, in this Frenchman’s net of suave, debonair dialog.
“Oh no you don’t, Francois! I am only calling you to see if you are planning on partnering with me at the Lakeside Dance Competition this year.” She waited, hearing a dramatic sigh from the other end of the phone. She knew, Francois was so full of himself and wanted to make an impression on her that he was very important and let her dangle on his “indecision” for a moment or two.
He drew out his answer for a tad longer and then responded as if bored with the entire conversation, “Ah, yes, I suppose I will dance with you.” Like he was some sort of prize! Taffy got her red hair in a snit as she thought about their previous competitions together.
A previous competition that came into her mind first was the World Championships held at Royal Albert Hall in the U.K. a couple of years ago. It was a total disaster. Some flashy spitfire competitor; a self-absorbed little vixen had loosened a strand of beads on Taffy’s gown and the beads spread out on the dance floor like ice pellets. As the dancers whirled and twirled, they fell like dominoes as their shoes hit the scattered beads. Once contact was made, down they went. It was disastrous! No one left standing. People just stood up, somewhat dazed, offering helping hands to the other fallen dancers and then in a united “huff,” they stomped off the dance floor.
The perpetrator, Fiona Flynn a new contestant from Dublin, wanted to ensure her place in dance history and so she did, just a little askew from her goal, by landing herself in the slammer for the night and permanently disqualified from future dance competitions.
Fiona made a notorious name for herself, that’s for sure! If there was a published list of the “ten most wanted” in ballroom dancing circles, she would be on that roster…or maybe it would be on a poster in the local Post Office. With her flaming red hair and temper, she went down in a blaze of glory or shame would be a better word for it. No more Fiona!
Back to the present, now that Taffy had lined up Francois for this upcoming dance competition, she would need to practice at the local dance studio, not sure how that would work with her job at the coffee shop, too. She would find time and carve out much needed practice sessions.
Francois sat drinking his hot coffee, reading the Wall Street Journal. He was interested in the finance section, looking with anticipation at the day’s stock market quotes. His family’s business, “That’s a Stretch” spandex company was the largest supplier of the stretchy stuff in the good old US of A! They had made millions of women happier and thinner and that in turn, made the LaRue family extremely well off financially.
As he was perusing the financials, the phone rang. “Bonjour, zees is Francois.” He always loved putting on airs when answering his phone.
“Francois, it’s your father, Pierre. I don’t have time for your theatrics. Get yourself over here to the plant at once.” His father sounded frantic. “One of the workers got his trousers caught in the spoolers and it ripped his pants clean off and they mixed with some fibers and moved down the conveyor to the shipping area and now they are their way to Duluth! I need you here to talk to the insurance guys. They are threatening to shut us down! OSHA will have a representative here within the hour. Hurry up! That’s an order.”
This is not what Francois needed right now. His father took any opportunity to make Francois’ life a living nightmare. This was just one of a series of events that frequently happened at the spandex factory. One of the worst accidents occurred when Lulu Crowder, a long-time loyal employee, was working on the dry-spinning machine. While mixing the chemicals she sneezed and you could only imagine what happened when the sneezing ingredients mixed with the volatile manufacturing chemicals. It formed a slimy gooey mess that stopped up the works and the entire process had to be shut down for the remainder of the afternoon for a good thorough cleaning. When they questioned Lulu in a meeting with the company’s upper management, she was extremely defensive and said that her episode wasn’t the cause of the breakdown.
“It happened because Flossy (another employee) accidentally threw her chewing gum in the machine instead of in the nearby trash can.” At the end of the management’s inquiry meeting, Flossy was boo-hoo’ing loudly and caused a complete ruckus. She had to be escorted into the employee lounge to be calmed down by the quality control staff. Flossy kept going on about how her chewing gum had nothing to do with the situation. “If you would just search the trashcan, you will find the evidence. Please don’t sack me! I’ve been a good employee. I’m never late and I’ve only had one previous accident, when I fell asleep while spooling the fibers and my scarf got mixed in with the spandex and if I do say so, myself, the pattern was absolutely lovely! I still think you guys should have used it in a girdle or corset.”
Both Flossy and Lulu were put on probation for several months. The staff was ordered back to work and there were numerous posters displayed at various places around the workplace regarding chewing gum being prohibited in the work area and all employees were required to carry tissues with them at all times in their work aprons.
Those were the days that made Francois laugh as his father went into a snit. They had over a thousand employees at the main plant and the accident rate was impressively low for a staff that large. They received numerous awards and trophies for their excellent safety record. Good quality control and a watchful eye of the plant foreman kept things flowing nicely.
Francois got in the taxi and had the driver take him to the plant in Queens. Traffic was miserable this time of day. Tons of people going to their ho-hum jobs, he mused. They would covet his job. All he had to do was make a brief appearance at the plant giving his dad a pleasing nod at the plant’s progress, go back home and practice his exemplary dance moves, and, oh yes, the most important thing, impress the lovely ladies. Not a bad life at all, he thought.
