Heart of a Cowboy (8 page)

“So you have slept with this other man?” Why did he feel jealous? He shouldn’t care about him, much less feel the prongs of jealous anger rise up from deep within him.

“We barely even kissed. I won’t lie to you.” Derek’s words were low and throaty, filled with need and the restrained desire that he felt beneath the surface. “I want to fuck you. I want to be fucked by you. I want to feel you enter me from behind and drive your cock into my ass, loading it up with cum, but I feel guilty.”

“Then what’s the hang-up? It could be just this once—to get it out of our system.” It was a lie. Lucas knew it the moment he uttered the words, but he didn’t care. He wanted this man, even if he had to lie to get him. “You never have to see me again after tonight.”

“Just this once.” Derek’s voice was soft and dreamy as he moved in for the kiss. His lips smashed against Lucas. Swift. Passionate. Conveying everything he wanted—needed from the other man. Lucas answered with his own desire, lust driving his kiss, and he felt Derek’s hard body against his own. Rubbing his cock into the other man’s groin. Hungry for more.

His skin was soft as silk, but it covered muscles of steel.

Derek reached for Lucas’s groin and met his hard-on eagerly. He unleashed the monster from its confines in seconds. Lucas was good. He had him undressed before he realized what had happened. A wide grin spread over his face as his eyes dropped to stare at Lucas’s package wagging in the air. “Nice hardware, Ace.”

A feral growl escaped his chest as he leapt to cover Derek’s body with his own.

Chapter Seven

“Where were you all night?”

Lucas’s bubbly mood disappeared in seconds at his sister’s accusing stare. She met him at the front door of his home dressed in the clothes she wore yesterday, a wrinkled pink cotton T-shirt and her Calvin Klein jeans with the rhinestones on the pockets.

“Out.” He closed the door behind him and prepared to ignore her, walking around her to the stairs at the back of the kitchen.

“Jeff told everyone about you going out with some human last night.”

“What do you care? I’m back now, aren’t I?”

“You chose to defend a human over one of your own.”

“It’s not for you to question.”

“I am not the one questioning, big brother.”

“Vincent is seeking to undermine your authority, and this gives him just the advantage he wanted.”

“Then let him challenge me for leadership.”

“He won’t have to if everyone in the pack questions your judgment and leaves on their own. Your job is to protect us.”

“I know what my job is!”

“Damn it, Jeanine, why’d you have to bring this up now?”

“You’re my brother and I care for you. I don’t want to see you lose everything you worked so hard for. So what happened last night?”

“Bodine was at the bar last night.”

“Yeah, and he picked a fight with a human.”

“Yeah, but did you have to side with the human?”

“We can’t risk exposing the Wendigo, and Bodine was doing just that.”

“So it didn’t have anything to do with your new play toy? I can smell him all over you, Lucas. You reek of human and sex.” She squished up her nose distastefully.

“I can’t change who my mate is. The fact that he’s human or the fact that I have to protect him. Even over one of my own.”

“Oh Lucas! Why didn’t you say so in the first place? You have to talk to the rest of the pack before it’s too late.”

“Now you see my point.”

“What are you going to do?” she asked quietly. “He’s human. You said it yourself.”

He knew there were obstacles, and he needed time to think about this. How could he win over the man, convince him that they were meant for each other? How would Derek react when he found out what he really was? How would the rest of the Wendigo take him as one of the pack? Not to mention that it still left Lucas open for opposition. Derek couldn’t give him a baby to continue the line, and that was supposed to be the purpose of finding a mate, wasn’t it?

This was going to be a long, hard, uphill battle and Jeanine was the least of his worries. All of his other problems were worse. This was only the beginning.

“Then what do you plan on doing?” Jeanine touched his arm, concern written all over her face.

“I don’t know, Jeanine.” He wanted Derek in his house and in his bed, but keeping him there wouldn’t be so easy. “I just don’t know yet, but I think I may have to talk to Bodine. He nearly exposed us last night. He’ll have to leave Texas.”

“I’ll go round him up.” His sister smiled and he knew she would welcome the opportunity to leave the compound, but he needed to know she was safe. Protected. It was his job to see that no harm came to her.

“No, I’ll send Jacob and Kyle. I don’t trust him to come willingly.”

* * * *

Lucas looked curiously out the bay window, chewing on the bottom of his pen. A flurry of snowflakes drifted from the gray sky above, blanketing the land in white snow.

He would have to limit the pack’s nighttime activities. This snow would make tracking much easier, and the ranchers would be only too happy to hunt them down if they found a single footstep.

Two nights ago, Jacob had been shot at just because he came too close. Cowboys shoot on sight. They don’t trust wolves anywhere near their cattle.

Suddenly the door to his study burst open. Jacob was back from his mission and it didn’t look like Bo came willingly. His hands were tied behind him and the fierce look in his eyes didn’t bode well for his outcome today. If he didn’t listen to reason, he would face the consequences regardless of his attitude.

“Ah, so it’s my fearless leader, Lucas.”

“Show some respect, mongrel!” Jacob tripped Bo and he landed on his knees.

Lucas shook his head in disapproval. “Leave us, Jacob.”

“It’s okay. Just wait outside the door. I’ll call you if I need you.”

Jacob shuffled his feet, mumbling under his breath. Ever since he’d come into sexual maturity, the boy was a little too quick to fly off the handle. He’d have to learn to control his temper if he wanted to stay within the protection of the pack.

“So what do I owe the pleasure of this meeting to?” Bodine didn’t get off his knees, but instead chose to stay in that submissive position in front of his pack leader. He may have gone rogue, choosing to run alone, but he still held respect for the local alpha.

Which was a good sign.

“Bodine, I think you know.”

“I hate that name,” he mumbled.

“Then what do you choose to be called over your birth name?”

“Bo, then.” Lucas sensed the anger underlying the cool façade of his old friend and pack member. Bo’s nostrils flared and a vein throbbed in his arm. His fists were probably clenched behind him. “This isn’t easy for me to say.”

“I have to exile you from this territory.”

“I don’t live by your rules. I am outside your jurisdiction because I don’t live here.”

“The other night, you involved me when you nearly tore that bar down by yourself.”

“I have a job.” Bo spit on the floor. His saliva pooled, but was quickly absorbed into the Persian carpet. “I can’t just leave my life here because you don’t like me.”

“You have three days to wrap up any loose ends and go. If I or any member of the pack finds you after that, then you will wish you left. If I find you stayed, then you’ll die by my hand.”

“This is about that human, isn’t it?”

Goddamn! Why did he have to drag Derek into this? Of course, it had something to do with his decision, but he couldn’t let Bo know that. Or that Derek was his mate. Bo could use that weakness against him.

“It’s about you and your actions endangering the rest of us. You nearly exposed us the other night and I can’t allow that to happen.” Lucas walked around behind Bo and took his knife from his belt. He cut the bonds with one swipe of the blade.

“You haven’t seen the last of me.”

“Just give me a reason to kill you,” Lucas responded calmly.

Bo turned on his heels and left without another word.

“Three days is all I’ll give you, Bo,” Lucas called out after him.

Chapter Eight

Life sucks and then you die.

Derek pounded the pavement, one foot in front of the other. Haunting his old digs only brought unwelcome memories. He felt lost, and unsure where he really wanted to go.

It would be so easy to just keep walking, to get out of Dodge and start a new life somewhere else. Forget his future court date, and run from Bo and all of his problems, but he didn’t want to have to start over again.

Sex last night made him feel really good until it was over and he awakened alone in the seedy hotel. It had been a long time since he’d had sex just for the enjoyment of it and not for money.

This part of town wasn’t kept up really well. The streets were small and crowded, with parked cars on both sides only allowing one car to pass at a time. The weeds grew as high as small bushes, and there were a lot of fences that circled the yards and up to the sidewalk. It was a small attempt to keep the riffraff on the streets, off the owner’s personal property.

Most of the cars were older. The few cars that were really nice had tinted windows, and had lots of money dumped into them by the drug dealers. It was a good place to put cash when you couldn’t put it in a bank, and Derek doubted they would want the IRS to know about their work-at-home business. So they did things that they could take personal pride in, like invest money in their cars. The lowered bodies and custom rims were favorites, but Derek had known of at least one car, a white Cadillac Escalade, that had been armored with bulletproof steel.

The sound of a car’s engine purred behind him and he moved to the side of the road. He turned instinctively to see who it was. He knew most everyone in the neighborhood.

The old, faded baby blue beat-up pickup looked like it was straight out of the 1950s with its rounded edges and five windows. The driver pulled to a stop in front of him, and Derek walked up to the window when he rolled it down.

He recognized Ishwar instantly and emotions warred within him. He’d missed him over the last few days and he felt glad to see him today. He wanted to be angry or mad, but he couldn’t help but feel happy.

“Need a lift, stranger?” Ishwar bared his bright white perfect teeth in a broad smile, a perfect contrast against his dark skin.

Derek didn’t want to go back to the ranch and see Bo again, but he did want to get in the truck with Ishwar. Derek hesitated for a moment before replying, “Sure.”

Ishwar waited for him to seat-belt in before taking his foot off the brake. “So where were you headed?”

“I don’t know. I was thinking of seeing my mom before I head out of town.”

“You weren’t leaving on my account, were you?”

“No, it’s got nothing to do with you. I just don’t belong anywhere, man.”

“I think you’re wrong. You got more friends than you think, but I’ll take you wherever you want to go.” Ishwar gave him a sideways glance. “You never talked much about your mom before. Where does she live?”

“That’s because she’s not a normal mom. She couldn’t be there to raise me, but she is the only family I have.”

“What happened?”

“She’s schizophrenic but didn’t want to take her meds. She had a really bad hallucination and tried to kill me. Came at me with a butcher knife, and the court ordered her to confinement for not taking her meds. So now she’s in an insane asylum.”

“I didn’t realize they made those anymore.”

“Well, they call it a hospital but still. I know what it is and it’s why she couldn’t be a mother to me.”

“I’m sorry. Sounds like you had a rough life.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“You can trust me with your past and your future. I’d like to know you better, Derek. All of you.”

“Make a right here.” Derek had not trusted anyone with that kind of ammunition in a long time. Kids could be brutal and they martyred him over having a crazy mother, but there was a part of him that he wanted to share with Ishwar, a part that needed to be accepted as he was. “She’s being held at the Morning Star State Mental Hospital.”

Ishwar nodded and followed the directions Derek gave him.

* * * *

Derek exited the vehicle and shut the door to the truck. He looked up the hill at the expansive building. A grassy hill was dotted with hickory trees, and the concrete pathway led to a colonial-style redbrick building. An American flag waved alongside the Texas one. Being here brought back old feelings of frustration and anger. He couldn’t fix his mom, nor could he change things.

She was going to live out the rest of her days here, and there would never be that happy family relationship between them. She could never be the mom he wanted to depend on, to love.

It just…sucked.

Ishwar came around the old truck and met him at his side. He touched Derek on the forearm. “You going to be okay?”

“Yeah.” Derek squeezed his hand, glad to have the emotional support at the moment. “Let’s get this over with.”

Derek didn’t let go of his hand the entire walk up to the hospital or even once he got to the visitor’s desk, where he found out her room number.

He hardly recognized her. They’d cut her hair short, just above her shoulders, for ease of maintenance, and she wore no makeup. She held a vacant facial expression, her eyes looking far into the distance.

How could she change so much from the mother he remembered?

“Who are you?” She turned to him, and confused blue eyes assaulted him. His chest tightened. He hadn’t known what to expect coming here, but he’d hoped for…well, more than this.

“Your son, Derek.”

“Oh. Who’s he?” she asked, staring at Ishwar holding his hand.

“He’s my friend, Ishwar.”

His mother mumbled something unintelligible. “Indian man” was the only phrase that Derek could understand.

Ishwar released Derek’s hand to kneel down in front of her, and spoke in a soothing tone. “I can see you in there, hiding from the world, but I see you and your demon.”