Hold on to your Dreams (3 page)

Turning over to try and get some sleep, she pulled a face. There didn’t seem much point in having an impossible dream, but that didn’t stop Millie and Fred. They nurtured the hope that things would be better for them in the future, and she was touched by their optimism and courage. There were many who could learn from them. She wished her brother had some of their inner strength.

Sadness swept through her as she thought about her dear brother. She would be happy to see him back to the person he used to be. That was the most important thing in her life at the moment.

‘Sutton’s late tonight.’ Florence stood in front of the clock on the mantelpiece. ‘Cook will be annoyed if the dinner is spoilt.’

Edward stood up and poured himself a drink. ‘He’s only half an hour late.’

At that moment they heard the front door open and close and Gertrude smiled at her mother. ‘Here he is.’

When he came into the room they gasped in horror. One of his eyes was swollen shut, his top lip was split and he was clutching his side. Florence was the first to reach his side. ‘Oh my dear, what’s happened? Have you had an accident? Gertrude, ask one of the servants to go for the doctor.’

‘Not yet.’ Sutton walked over to his son. ‘I have made the acquaintance of some of your friends, who have persuaded me it’s time your debts were honoured.’

All the colour drained from Edward’s face. When he
tried to speak, his father thrust a sheet of paper in front of him. ‘I am told that this is the amount you owe. Is it correct?’

Edward read it and could not look his father in the eyes. ‘Yes it is. I’m sorry—’

‘It is too late to be sorry! After giving me a beating to impress upon me the urgency of the matter, they have threatened to harm your sister. The full amount must be paid within a week.’

‘I’ll go and see them, Father—’

‘Don’t ever call me that again.’ Sutton spoke with quiet fury. ‘You are no longer my son. We have given you every advantage in life. I had hoped you would come into the business and take over after me, but that wasn’t good enough for you, was it? You have put your family in jeopardy and tarnished our good name.’

‘I’ll never gamble again. I promise.’ Edward was shaking, hardly able to stand upright.

‘I don’t care what you do!’ Sutton rounded on his son. ‘I’ll pay the debt in full, and that is the last thing I will ever do for you. You have an hour to pack your things and leave this house, never to set foot in it again.’ Then he turned his back on his son. ‘Go now before I give you the thrashing you deserve.’

A cry of distress came from Florence as her son left the room. ‘Oh, Sutton, please don’t do this. What is to become of him?’

‘I won’t have him under this roof. He must learn to fend for himself.’ He sat down heavily, his brow wet with perspiration.

Seeing the distress her father was in, Gertrude ran to the servants and sent one of them for the doctor, then she hurried back. She was horrified by what had just taken place, and as worried as she was for her brother, she was more concerned for her father. She hadn’t been able to catch sight of the paper, but Edward’s debt must be enormous for her father to disown his son.

Florence was holding her husband’s hand and crying uncontrollably.

Gertrude put her arms around her mother and reached out to touch her father’s shoulder. ‘I’ve sent for the doctor.’

‘Thank you, my dear. It feels as if those thugs have cracked my ribs.’

‘Sit very still.’ Gertrude moved to the other side of her father and wiped his face with her clean handkerchief. Then she asked gently, ‘How much does Edward owe?’

‘Over three thousand guineas.’

Florence gasped, and Gertrude felt as if the floor had shifted beneath her feet. How could her brother have lost so much? Had he no thought for his family?

‘We can’t find that much,’ Florence whispered, hardly able to speak. ‘All our money is tied up in the business.’

‘You must use my inheritance,’ Gertrude insisted.

‘No, my child. It would not even cover a fraction of the debt, but I’ll find the money, have no fear.’

‘I’m not afraid for myself. I expect the threat to me was to frighten you into paying the debt.’

‘Maybe, but I will not take that risk.’ He placed both hands across his ribs, obviously in great pain.

‘Where’s that doctor?’ Florence turned her whole
attention to her injured husband. ‘Go and find out, Gertrude.’

Before she could reach the door it swung open and the doctor strode in. He took one look at Sutton and turned to the maid. ‘Find me a male servant. I’ll need his help. The ladies can leave.’

‘I’m staying with my husband. You do not order me around in my own home!’ Florence was determined and nothing would move her.

Gertrude spoke quietly in her father’s ear. ‘May I have your permission to see Edward before he leaves?’

He gave a slight nod.

‘Thank you. I’ll see you again when the doctor’s made you comfortable.’

As soon as she was out of the room she ran up the stairs and along the passage to her brother’s room. She burst in without knocking. Edward had his back to her and was packing a case.

‘Where will you go?’ Her voice trembled with emotion.

When he turned his face was grey, anguish etched on every feature. He appeared to be incapable of speech. She reached out to touch him but he backed away. ‘Go to David. He’ll help you.’

He shook his head and stood there, a picture of dejection. ‘How’s Father?’ he managed to say.

‘We don’t know yet. The doctor’s with him.’

‘I’m so sorry. Oh God, I’m so sorry …’ Tears tumbled down his face. ‘I’ll never gamble again for as long as I live. Somehow I’ll repay him. I swear it. Take care of Mother for me, Gertie.’

He picked up his case and walked towards the door.

‘Tell me where you’re going,’ she pleaded. ‘Aunt Hanna will take you in.’

‘I am no longer a member of this family. And that is right, for I don’t deserve to be. Goodbye.’

‘Take care of yourself,’ she whispered as he closed the door behind him.

Edward Melrose was under no illusions about the seriousness of the situation he had left his family to deal with. But no matter how bleak the outlook, he would not go to David or Hanna. He only had himself to blame. He found it unbelievable that he had allowed himself to be dragged into gambling. It had become an obsession and he hadn’t been able to stop. He must be a very weak man! His father’s words had cut him like a dagger and it had been as if a curtain had disintegrated before his eyes. He saw exactly what he had become, and that filled him with self-loathing and disgust. He hated himself. But if it took him the rest of his life, he would somehow right the terrible wrong he had done his family. Not only had he placed them in danger, but he’d also ruined them financially.

He had been walking aimlessly for about an hour when it started to rain. He was hungry and wet, and shame weighed on him, making him stumble on the wet pavement. Stopping for a moment he saw that he was in a poorer part of town. Well, that was all right. It was where he belonged now. A notice in one of the windows offering rooms caught his attention. Without hesitation he knocked on the door and went inside. It was none too
clean, but it was cheap so he took a room for the night. This would give him time to rest, because tomorrow he would have to find work, and that wasn’t going to be easy. He had no skills, but he was strong and would dig ditches if he had to.

Stretching out on the bed he ignored his hunger, allowing his mind to drift back over the last year. When Charles Hayworth had drawn him into their exclusive circle he had been flattered. At first the stakes had been low, but they’d slowly increased, and by then he’d been in too deep to back out. If he did win, which wasn’t often, it was when there was little on the table. He could see it all now. He won when they allowed him to, and that meant they had been manipulating the games. Charles always sat opposite his brother, Howard, so they could make eye contact. He recalled the coughs, fingers moving on the table, and other subtle signals. They must be cheats to keep winning like they did, but it would be impossible to prove. No one would be brave enough to speak out against them.

Edward clenched his hands into tight fists. He had allowed their flattery and friendly attitude to blind him to what was really happening. What a weak, pathetic man he was!

But no more. One day he would redeem himself in the eyes of his family. And that wasn’t an idle dream. From now on it would be the focus of his life.

Gertrude stayed in her brother’s room while the doctor carried out his examination and they moved her father
into his bedroom. It was some time before her mother appeared in the doorway. Florence had aged in that short time.

‘Is Father all right?’

‘The doctor says he has cracked ribs and is badly bruised, but he will be fine after a long rest.’ Her mother gazed around the empty room, silent tears running down her cheeks. ‘I never got the chance to say goodbye. What is to become of him, Gertrude?’

‘I advised him to go to David or Aunt Hanna.’

‘I hope he does. I’m so frightened for him. I’ve begged your father to reconsider, but he won’t hear of it.’

She put her arms around her mother, trying to comfort, but she was just as distraught. ‘I’ll find him so we can keep an eye on him.’

‘Thank you, my dear. I know your father has disowned him, and in the circumstances no one could blame him, but Edward is my son. I gave birth to him and cannot turn my back on him.’

‘I know.’ Gertrude’s eyes were brimming with tears, but she fought them back. This terrible disaster was upon them and it had to be faced. She had to be brave for both her parents’ sakes. ‘May I see Father now?’

Florence nodded. ‘Don’t stay too long. He’s very tired.’

Her father was propped up on a heap of pillows to keep him in a comfortable position. His eyes were closed and deep lines of pain were etched on his face. She knew the pain wasn’t only coming from his injuries. Disowning his son would have been the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. Walking to the bed, she knelt down and took his hand
in hers. Not wanting to disturb him, she remained silent.

After a while he turned his head and opened his eyes. ‘Did you know he was gambling?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ she had to admit. ‘He has been asking me for money just lately, but I had no idea things were so bad. Honestly.’

‘You should have told me.’

‘I know that now, and I’m sorry.’ The tears of remorse would not stop now and they poured down her face.

‘Don’t cry, my dear. I’ll pay the debt. I won’t let anything happen to you.’

‘I am not concerned for myself. I am sad for all of us. You have been brutally attacked, Edward is lost to us, and he is now alone in the world. It is hard to bear.’

‘The future for us will be hard. I can’t find that kind of money without making drastic changes to our lives. I want you to promise me something.’

‘Anything.’

‘Support and comfort your mother. There are dark days ahead of us.’ His eyes closed and he gently squeezed her hand. ‘Leave me now. I must sleep, for there is much to do tomorrow.’

She stood up. ‘I’ll help you. Just tell me what you want me to do.’

He shook his head. ‘I don’t want you or your mother involved in this unpleasant business. I will do what has to be done. Don’t hate me for the actions I’m forced to take.’

‘We’d never do that,’ she said forcefully. ‘You have our support.’

‘Thank you. That is a comfort.’

As she left the room, Gertrude knew their lives were about to change. Only her father knew exactly what those changes would be, but the carefree, happy life she had known was no more.

She found her mother downstairs in the sitting room. ‘He’s asleep now,’ she told her.

‘Good.’ Florence looked exhausted. ‘I want you to go and stay with Hanna for a while.’

‘No, Mother!’ She wasn’t going to be sent away. She would not let them face this alone. ‘Father said he will pay the debt. They won’t carry out their threat to harm me. I’m quite safe.’

Her mother sighed deeply. ‘I wish it were that easy. Have you given any thought to how we are to raise such a large amount? I am not a fool. We are ruined. But I will not see Sutton lose the business. It has been in his family for three generations.’

‘I am not a fool either, Mother. Whatever is to come we can face it together. Don’t send me away. Please let me stay. I’ll be strong. I promise.’

Florence considered her daughter for a few moments, then stood up. ‘Very well. Thank you, my dear. I wish your brother had more of your strength of character. It’s painful to realise he’s so weak. Now we should try to get some rest. Cook will bring you food if you wish.’

‘I couldn’t eat.’ The thought of food made Gertrude’s stomach heave.

‘Neither could I.’

She watched her mother leave the room, walking as if every step were an effort. Then she whispered, ‘With such
courageous parents Edward can’t be weak. He lost his way for a while. Now he must find the strength to fight back, or he will not survive.’ She prayed he had it in him to make it out there alone.

She was distressed for the family she loved.

The next two days were worrying, as Florence and Gertrude watched the man they loved struggle to raise the money. He was grey with pain from his injuries, but he did not shrink from the task ahead of him. In an effort to raise the money, paintings were removed from the walls and several items of furniture went. This was particularly upsetting for Florence because they had been in her family for a long time, but she watched them go and said nothing. But they were still a long way from the amount needed.

Gertrude could not bear to see her father suffer any longer. ‘Mother, I have several pieces of jewellery. We can sell those, and we must use the money Grandfather left me.’

‘I agree, and I have also gathered together the best of my jewellery. Come, let us persuade your father.’

They went into the library and Sutton glanced up. He looked near to collapse.

‘We have come to help, my dear.’ Florence sat beside her husband. ‘You cannot shoulder this burden alone.’

He ran a hand over his eyes. ‘I am desperately sorry to be stripping our home, but I’m afraid it is to no avail. I shall have to sell the business.’

‘No!’ Gertrude and Florence spoke together.

‘I will not allow you to do that, Sutton,’ Florence told him. ‘You may sell everything in this house, but not your business.’

He sat back, admiration showing in his tired eyes. ‘This is your home. You have always loved it.’

‘That is true,’ she said gently, ‘but I love you more. Let us get this debt paid, and then we can start again. We will have little chance of doing that if you sell the business. That is our future, my darling. You must hold on to it whatever the cost. Gertrude and I have some pieces of jewellery. They can be sold.’

Gertrude spoke for the first time. ‘And I insist you use my money, Father.’

He studied them both intently for some moments, then said, ‘I have been blessed with two of the most unselfish women a man could wish for. I might be forced to use your inheritance, Gertie, but I’ll try not to. Keep your jewellery though. I will find another way.’

Florence leant across to look at the figures her husband was working on and shook her head. ‘We may have to sell this house. Hanna will take us in. I’ve already told her and she has offered us a home with her.’

Sutton groaned. ‘Dear Lord, what a mess that boy has landed us in. You do realise this can’t be kept secret. News that we are selling possessions at great speed will already be circulating.’

‘I don’t care what people are saying.’ Florence sat up straight, a determined glint in her eyes. She managed a grim smile. ‘Let the truth be known. And a name or two should be mentioned. Carefully, of course. We don’t want those thugs paying us another visit. But it will alert society to those men, and hopefully make other young men wary of associating with them.’

‘That is a splendid idea,’ Gertrude agreed, her admiration for her mother growing all the time. ‘I could do that quite easily. After all, I am the daughter and naturally distraught about the situation. It’s understandable that I cannot hide my distress.’

‘Very understandable,’ Sutton said dryly, seeming more relaxed knowing he had the support of his family. He sat back. ‘The three of us will pull together, and we’ll get through this.’

‘Of course we will!’ Hanna strode into the library and placed a purse in front of her brother. ‘There are fifty guineas in there. It is all I could raise at short notice. If you lose this house then you may all move in as soon as you please.’

‘Thank you, Hanna.’ Florence greeted her sister-in-law with a kiss on the cheek. ‘That is very generous of you, and I fear it may come to that.’

Hanna studied her brother. ‘Don’t look so grim, Sutton. Florence is right. You must keep the business. Everything
else can go. And if I see Edward I shall take a stick to him. Which is something you should have done a long time ago.’

‘Spoiling him was my fault.’ Florence couldn’t stop her voice shaking. ‘I am responsible for this disaster.’

‘No, my dear, you have no reason to feel like that,’ Sutton declared. ‘We treated both of our children in the same way and our daughter has never let us down. There’s a weakness in Edward we failed to see.’ He glared at his sister. ‘You will watch what you say, Hanna. I will not have you upsetting Florence.’

‘I had no intention of doing that. Please accept my apologies, Florence. This is a terrible time for you and I’m sure my sharp manner is unwelcome. But you know me. I speak my mind without thinking.’

‘There is nothing to forgive,’ Florence told her. ‘You are quite right. We have been too lenient with Edward and now we are paying for that mistake.’

Gertrude watched in silence, upset by the pain so obvious in their faces. They were suffering, and the home they had built together with love was being disposed of because of the son they had thought the world of. He had betrayed them, and that was causing them incredible pain. She knew that betrayed was a harsh word to use, but it was how she saw it at this moment. She’d been told about titled men who had lost their homes and estates at the gaming tables, unable to stop, and believing that the next hand would win it all back. But it never did, and it was like a sickness some men caught. Even though she had begun to be concerned
about her brother’s gambling, she hadn’t allowed herself to believe it was this serious. But in the midst of this crisis she didn’t love her brother any the less. Her fear for him was constantly with her. She would search for him, but at this moment it was her parents who needed her support.

The door opened and David was shown in. He went straight to Sutton. ‘I have been hearing dreadful news, sir. Is it true Edward has massive debts and you have been – persuaded – to pay them?’

‘That is true, David.’

‘Forgive me if you think I am prying into your personal affairs, but I have always had great affection for your family. Can you raise the money?’

‘With difficulty. I’ve been over and over the figures, and until this house is sold I cannot pay in full. I will need more time than these men have given me.’

‘Sell your home?’ David’s face drained of all colour. ‘It can’t be that bad, surely! Edward wouldn’t have been that foolish.’

‘I’m afraid he has.’ Sutton grimaced in pain as he stood. ‘It was kind of you to come and see us.’

‘You are badly hurt!’ David spun around to face Gertrude. ‘This is appalling. Where is Edward? I will tell him what I think of his behaviour.’

‘He isn’t here,’ she told him.

‘I turned him out.’ Sutton sat down again, anguish written on every line of his face. ‘He is no longer my son and can never return.’

David glanced at each stricken face in horror. ‘Dear
God,’ he murmured. ‘Let me help you. I should be able to raise some money for you.’

‘No, no,’ Sutton said firmly. ‘That is generous of you, but this is our problem. We will deal with it.’

Their friend would not be stopped. ‘You say you cannot raise all the money at once so I am assuming you will have to ask for more time.’

‘I shall approach them tomorrow.’

Gertrude took a quick step forward. ‘But you are not well enough. Tell me where to find them and I’ll go.’

‘I will
not
allow you near them!’ her father said. ‘Have you forgotten they have threatened to harm you?’

‘What?’ David glared at her. ‘Do you wish to cause your father more grief, Gertie? What are you thinking?’

‘Don’t you question my thinking!’ she said, furious. ‘We need more time. Father is injured and cannot go. Who else is there?’

‘I’ll meet the men.’

Her anger faded. ‘Oh, David, you’re a good friend, but it must be a member of the Melrose family. Don’t you see that?’

‘You are right about that, my dear.’ Sutton sighed deeply. ‘But I will not place you in such danger. I am the one who must go.’

‘You will not, Sutton. I’ll represent the Melrose family and David will come with me as protection. And don’t you dare argue about it.’ All eyes fixed on Hanna, who was examining the ivory lion’s head on her walking stick. Then she looked up and smiled. ‘I shall take this silence as an agreement.’

Sutton covered his eyes with his hands, head bowed, then he looked up. ‘This is impossible, Hanna.’

‘Of course it isn’t. They are hardly likely to become violent when faced with a frail, elderly lady.’

The tension in the room was great, but Gertrude was unable to stop herself from shrieking with laughter, albeit rather hysterical. Her aunt was not even fifty yet, and anything but frail. If anyone attacked her, she would give a good account of herself.

‘Stop this, Hanna. You’re younger than me – and I suspect – stronger. You just like a fight. Admit it.’

‘Ah, you know me too well, brother dear, but nothing will stop me from doing this.’

‘Very well, but I am the one to go. You may come and support me. I cannot do this alone and if I turned up with another man they would take it as a threat.’

‘Exactly. A woman will appear harmless.’

‘Little do they know,’ he murmured as he turned to David. ‘I thank you for your courageous offer, but I would never be able to forgive myself if you suffered harm.’

David was clearly disappointed. ‘I do understand, sir. If you need help at any time I hope you will call on me.’

‘We’ll be grateful for your support.’ Sutton reached out and shook his hand.

‘With your permission, I’ll call tomorrow evening to see how the meeting went.’

‘You’re always welcome here. Don’t concern yourself too much. We’ll sort this mess out.’

‘I know you will.’ He smiled sadly at Gertrude, holding out his hand. ‘Will you walk with me to the door?’

Once away from the others she said, ‘I need your help.’

‘Anything,’ he replied without hesitation. ‘We’ve known each other from the age of five. You and Edward are like brother and sister to me. I can’t stand by and do nothing. Seeing the family I love and respect being ruined is hard to take. Tell me what you need and it shall be done.’

‘Find Edward for me. He’s out there alone and destitute. I need to know where he is and what he’s doing. I suggested that he go to Aunt Hanna or you, but he’s done neither. He can’t rely on those so-called friends of his, for they are pressing for the debt to be paid. Mother’s desperately worried, though she is doing her best to hide it. She’s giving Father her complete support but I know she’s suffering. Edward’s conduct has devastated her.’

‘Leave it with me. I’ll do everything I can to find him.’

She squeezed his hand. ‘Thank you. We’ll keep this between the two of us, please.’

‘Of course. You can trust me.’

‘I know, and bless you.’

‘That’s what friends are for.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘You call if you need me.’

She watched him leave, grateful to have such a good friend. As she turned to return to the library she heard a slight sound coming from the drawing room. The sight that met her when she opened the door tore at her heart. Her mother was standing by the fireplace with her hands clasped over her mouth to stifle the sobs.

‘Oh, Mother.’ Gertrude placed her arms around her. ‘We’ll get through this.’

‘I know, but it’s so hard. Not only have we lost our
beloved son, but also everything we’ve worked for has gone. Your father will have to work like a slave to pull us out of this disaster. And that isn’t right.’

‘No, it isn’t. But he’ll do it.’

Florence nodded and dried her eyes. ‘Don’t tell him I broke down. He has enough to worry about. I don’t want him to know how weak I am.’

‘You’re not weak!’ Gertrude protested. ‘I saw you agreeing to the sale of this house and you didn’t even flinch. That took great courage, Mother, so don’t you dare belittle yourself like that. I am proud of you. I am proud of both of you.’

‘Thank you, darling. You are a great comfort to us. I’m frantic about Edward. If only we knew where he’d gone.’

‘I’ve asked David to find him for us, just to put our minds at rest.’

‘Oh, that was good of you. He’s a fine boy and will do his best to find Edward.’

Gertrude felt helpless. If only she could save this house. It had always been a beautiful home. Her father would be ashamed he could no longer provide for his family. It wasn’t his fault and he had no reason to blame himself. But he would. She knew him so well.

If only there was something she could do, but the situation was hopeless.

Taking a deep breath she silently asked her brother the question, ‘Do you know what you’ve done to your family, Edward?’