In the Fast Lane (13 page)

She sighed. “No, Ranger. It’s okay. I’m sorry, too. I knew you were teasing. To be honest, sometimes Grady and Lee tease me about it, too, and I don’t get mad. There’s just something about you that makes me—oh, I don’t know!” She threw her hands up in the air and shook her head.

He wanted to pursue it, to ask her how he made her feel.

He wanted to know. He wanted to hear her say she wanted him. Because he knew she did. It was in every kiss they’d shared. Every glance, every casual touch …

But he remained silent, watching as her momentary frustration ebbed away and she suddenly seemed even more exhausted than before.

“Look. Maybe I’m too sensitive about this. That’s what I’ve been told, anyway. But Hart Racing is my life, and some people have a hard time accepting that just because I’m a girl. They ask me how come Grady doesn’t compete, or they make it sound like I’m just keeping the driver’s seat warm until Lee gets good enough to fill it.”

She looked up at the night sky, and he tipped his head up, too, to take in the sight of the stars shining in the darkness.

“The thing is, sometimes I feel like I actually
deserve
it more than either of them. Maybe that’s not right of me, either, but I’ve worked damned hard for this. I paid my dues even though I was the daughter of a three-time racing cup champ, and I learned a lot because of that.”

She swallowed, the delicate muscles of her throat rippling. “I wouldn’t be where I am today without my dad, though. He believed in me from the beginning. He didn’t care that I’m “just a girl.” He was the one who let me start driving karts when I was just shy of six years old. Said if I had talent, he wouldn’t be a good parent if he let me waste it. I did formula racing for a while, and then until last year I was racing Indy cars. When I placed fifth in the biggest Indy race last year, Dad said I was finally ready, both in skill and mind-set.… He died a month later.”

Her gaze dropped and she turned to face him. “And now that he’s gone, it’s a lot harder to let all that shit about being a woman just roll off my back. I didn’t realize until he’d died how much he fought for me. Especially when I see guys like Ty, who have dads like Bobby Riggs, and they didn’t have to deal with any of that. I had this moment earlier, when I realized how much I depend on men even though I don’t want to, and how often they’ve ended up letting me down.”

He was quiet for a moment. He knew how it felt to be missing a father, even if his had been absent from his life far longer than Kerri’s had. But what could he say to possibly ease that pain for her? It never went away.

For the first time, he understood, too, what it might have been like for her to hear about Colt International buying into Hart Racing. A lifetime of having to fight for a place in the racing world just because she was a woman, and then having it all taken away from her by her brother and a company she already hated …

He tried not to give in to the desire to ask her whether she hated him, too. Although the animosity between them had died down, and she seemed to enjoy kissing him, he’d never given her any reason to believe she could depend on him, either.

So instead, he focused on something he’d been wondering about from the start of this project. “Why
doesn’t
Grady race, anyway?”

She rolled her eyes. “Were you not there when Grady flipped his shit while I was spinning out during practice in Talladega?”

Oh, yeah.
He nodded.

“Yeah. Imagine that behind the wheel of a thirty-four-hundred-pound race car in nearly unbearable heat, inches away from another fast-moving car. Grady’s a great driver when he’s alone on the track. But under stress, he just loses it. He’s not really cut out to be crew chief, even, but we’re so short-staffed. While I—God, I love it. The feel of the road, the intensity … it has become a part of me. It’s in my blood…” She trailed off, an embarrassed expression taking over her features as she shrugged.

Grady might not be cut out to be crew chief, but watching him today, it was clear to Ranger that Grady was more than capable in the garage.
Hmm.
They were looking for someone to work on that new engine, but couldn’t afford to lose any staff from the travel team …

Or could they? They could have the new part made, and when it was ready, he might be able to let Grady stay behind and have Bit fill in as crew chief. They’d still have to get someone else in the pit, but it might give Grady a little more equilibrium …

He filed the thought away for later and turned his focus back on Kerri.

“What about kids? A family? Do you want that? And even if you do, I can’t imagine it would be easy to have that while you’re doing this job. Do you love racing enough to give up the other stuff?”

Her expression turned hard, but not angry. More resolved. “It’s the only thing I can’t deny about being a woman in racing. Because, yeah, I do want kids. But I can’t be pregnant and racing. It’s too dangerous. And I can’t race into my fifties like Richard Petty and
then
retire to have some kids. Of course, he had them young, anyway—just didn’t have to carry them.” She shook her head. “I used to think it didn’t matter and that I loved racing so much that not having a family of my own wouldn’t be such a big sacrifice. But after Dad died, I realized, too, that I do want that.”

“So … what are you saying? That you’re going to leave racing?”

She nodded. “Yeah.” She was silent for a second, as though letting the enormity of that declaration sink in for both of them, then added, “I mean, not right away. I’ve given myself ten more years or so. But I want to make all of them count. I want to walk away from this time feeling like I did something of value, you know? Like I was successful.”

“I don’t doubt you’ll get to the Intercomm Cup series and win big.”

“I don’t mean just winning prize money, Ranger. I mean, I want to feel like my being here in the sport matters. Like I can do some good
and
win enough to keep things going and help my crew to do what they love, too. I want to be successful at my
life
.” She gave him a strange look. “A raging success.”

He didn’t miss the small smile she was wearing. He snorted in response, acting like it was just a joke, but after watching the way the team worked together and how much fun they had while they were doing their jobs …

It felt serious.

She shrugged. “Anyway, enough about that. Come on, let’s go. I’ll drop you at your hotel.” She resumed walking toward her car, and he followed suit, still feeling a bit unmoored. “Where are you staying, anyway?”

Oh. Shit.

“I’m not exactly sure.”

She stopped just in front of the driver’s side door. “You don’t have a hotel, do you?”

He gave her a wry smile and shook his head. “I had my assistant rebook all the hotel arrangements and tack on a room for me in each place, but I forgot that you guys didn’t have any hotels in Charlotte because you lived around here. But no problem. Why don’t you just take me to the closest hotel and drop me off? I’ll figure it out.”

She closed her eyes as though she were trying to find patience, and when she opened them again, she surprised him by saying, “Forget it. You can stay with me. It’s only for two nights, anyway, before we have to fly out for Lee’s race.”

He raised an eyebrow. Was she serious? After the past couple of days, things had been more friendly, but actually inviting him to stay in her home … “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Now get in the car before I change my mind.” She opened her door and slid in, not bothering to wait for an answer.

He couldn’t suppress a smile. There was the Kerri he knew.

But what surprised him was how much he enjoyed it.

Chapter Eleven

Ranger Colt was in her house for the second night in a row.

Just one room away. Probably sleeping like a baby.

Unlike Kerri, who was staring up at the ceiling and wondering if her inability to sleep was some kind of punishment for lusting after the enemy.

Except … he wasn’t the enemy. At least, not anymore.

Last night, they’d gotten to her place and she’d barely managed to put out a towel and show him to the guest room without falling asleep. As soon as she’d made sure he was set with whatever he needed, she’d trudged into her own room, stripped off her clothes, and sunk into her bed, out within seconds.

In the morning, they’d been off immediately, back to the garage to finish up the fine tuning on Lee’s truck and get it loaded into the container to be driven out to Kansas City tomorrow. After that, it was more work on her own car. Between everything else, she’d gone for a run, had a conference call with Cran-Tasty and another with Bee-Well, and somehow managed to eat a sandwich.

Ranger had spent much of the day in one of the garage’s offices, on the phone with everyone from sales reps in automotive shops to potential sponsors. He’d worked hard today. Just as hard as yesterday. Despite how he’d initially come across as some hard-gunning, heavy-handed jerk, he hadn’t once acted superior to any of the guys. He’d taken their suggestions and made some of his own. He’d been curious about every last detail, not just because he had to work out how to best manage the company, but because he actually cared.

Or at least seemed to.

So why was it that she was the only one who seemed to rub him the wrong way? Could he tell how much she wanted him? Did it make him nervous? Yesterday morning on the plane, he had returned her kiss even though there was no “real” reason to do so. There hadn’t been any cameramen or reporters—no one but her and him in the row of seats.

But they hadn’t talked about it afterward, and she’d assumed he had just done it to rile her up.

And if that were the case, he’d failed miserably. That is, he’d roused something in her, but it wasn’t anger. She’d never wanted a man more than she wanted Ranger Colt.

She hoped that didn’t signal the Apocalypse or anything.

“Ow!” A muffled yelp, followed by what sounded like someone hopping around on one foot, came from the hallway. She sat up in her bed, peering into the darkness.

“Ranger?”

The noises stopped abruptly. Silence for a long beat, and then … “Fuck.”

Grinning, Kerri leaned back and switched on the lamp on her nightstand. “Is everything okay?”

A shadowy figure appeared in the doorway, leaning on the frame, and Kerri nearly stopped breathing.

No. Shirt.

Ranger wasn’t wearing a shirt.

Where did his shirt go?

Where did his shirt go? All that muscle and broad chest and warm skin is on display in front of you and all you can think is where his shirt disappeared to? Look at him!

“I am.”

“You are what?”

Oh, shit. Did she just say that out loud? She blinked. “I am … awake. I mean, I was already awake. Having a hard time sleeping. Do you need something?”

“Why are you having a hard time sleeping?”

“
That’s
what you got up to find out?”

A low chuckle escaped him, and he pushed off the doorframe to walk a few steps into her room. “I was trying to get a glass of water, but a wall got in my way.”

“Oh, um…” Normally, she’d offer to get up and help, but with him half naked, skin glowing and firm and hard—so hard—in the lamplight, she was having enough troubles keeping her breath steady. It didn’t help, either, that she was wearing only a T-shirt and panties. The thought of him stepping closer and pulling back the covers, kissing her like he had before, but this time with much less clothing between them … pushing her back down on the bed …

She felt her breasts swell, nipples tightening to hard points.

Ranger made a strange, choked sound. “It’s okay. I’ll get it. Now that I know you’re awake, I’ll turn on a light. It won’t take long.” He immediately turned to go, showing her his gorgeous back as he walked toward the hall.

“Wait!”

Wait? Did you really just tell him to wait? For what?

He stopped but didn’t turn back around. “What’s up?”

“I—Would you mind bringing a glass back for me, too, please?”

That was possibly the saddest thing you’ve ever said.

He laughed, but there was no amusement in the sound. She couldn’t see his face, since he was still standing with his back to her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

What was that supposed to mean?
Regardless, it was clear that his dislike for her was so great that he didn’t even want to bring her a glass of water when he was already getting one for himself. The realization that he didn’t feel like spending one more minute in her company stung. “Oh. Okay. I understand.” She couldn’t keep the hurt from her voice.

He gave a loud exhale, his shoulders sagging. “Kerri…”

“It’s cool, the light switch is on the wall just across the hall from my door. See you in the morning.” She turned her head, hiding her face, telling herself that she would
not
cry over this. She didn’t even really like him. They weren’t even dating.

“Goddamnit.” His growl startled her, and he turned back, fast, to face her. “It’s not that I don’t want to, Kerri. Fucking fuck. It’s because of this.” He gestured to the front of his pajama bottoms and her eyes widened.

Oh. Oh, wow.
The fabric jutted far out from his body, pulled tight by the long erection pointed right at her.

“
This
is why I don’t think it’s a good idea. If I come one step closer, I swear to God—” He cut himself off, clenching his fists at his sides and staring up at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at her. “I’m not telling you this to scare you. I would never push myself on you. But there’s something about you that makes me want things I’ve never wanted before. And fuck, I want you.”

He wanted her. Maybe it was crazy, and maybe she would regret it, but damn if she didn’t want him, too.

“Ranger.”

He took a deep breath and brought one hand to the bridge of his nose, pinching hard. She’d seen him do that a few times already and had come to associate the gesture with something that was uniquely Ranger. “I’m sorry. I’m happy to bring you a glass of water. Of course, I’m fully capable of controlling myself. You’ve already seen what you do to me. It doesn’t matter.”