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Authors: Simi K. Rao

BOOK: Inconvenient Relations
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No, they are not seeking my approval. They are just seeking my opinion.

He grinned, lounging casually against the door frame. “I’m sure he will. That is, if he doesn’t pass out first.”

“Aww, shuddup!” She frowned, chiding him, but he could tell she was pleased. “That won’t happen. These Oriental men have very strong constitutions! Now for the pièce de résistance!” Grabbing a bunch of gaily colored satin ribbons, she deftly threaded them through her hair then gathered them all up into a fancy bun on top of her head.

“No, don’t do that,” he said, tugging at the threads, causing her shiny locks to unravel back down onto her shoulders.

“But why? Sunshine asked me to.”

“I wonder why… She should know how irresistibly kissable a long bare neck is!” He hooked her hair aside with his fingers intending to do just the same.

“No, don’t touch me!”

“Why ever not? You let me the other day,” he inquired.

“I didn’t. You took me unawares and…” She pursed her lips.

“And the rest is history.” He braced his hands on the counter on either side of her body. “Why? Are you afraid of how you’d react? That you won’t be able to control yourself anymore? Your hands instead of pushing me away will pull me closer?”

Her pulse began racing at a furious pace. “What are you talking about?”
Damn! Why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut that night?

For once I have you on the back foot, Ms. Firecracker!

His eyes twinkled with cunning. “You can’t hide from me anymore, my dear! I can see through your pretensions, and I know your feelings mirror mine. We are just two people waiting for the dam to burst, then we’ll succumb to our passions and become one.”

She closed her eyes but couldn’t dispel the picture his words evoked.

“Don’t make me wait too much longer. I hope you understand.”

He drew a red ribbon lightly across her bare shoulders, making her to shudder. “As for not touching you, it’s next to impossible!” Then in front of her dazzled eyes, he whipped out a long shiny rope of silver out of nowhere and proceeded to place it around her neck. She gasped with delight when she beheld the large pendent in a myriad of colors—red, blue, yellow, and orange that caught the light and flickered like live flames. “Hmm…bare earlobes? That won’t do!”

He clipped a pair of dangling silver earrings to her ears, the ends of each bearing three shiny stars.

Whirling around, she looked at him in awe. “What is all this? You didn’t have to…”

“No, I had to. I haven’t given you any gift at all so far. So it’s high time you have something to remember me by: a part of me, who I am.”

“This pendant,” he said, lifting it up and rubbing the smooth stone between his fingers, “is Ursa Major or the Bear. Native Americans consider it magical symbolizing strength, resilience, and even great love. A kindred Spirit which leads hunters in great chases. It may get killed only to be reborn again. I fantasize myself as a hunter seeking celestial objects, solving or at least trying to solve heavenly mysteries, therefore this bear is very dear to me. Take good care of him, will you? Will you?” He inclined his head to peep at her face, which was now bent under the weight of unexpected joy. She nodded unable to speak, and he was satisfied. “Shall we go now,
mi chile dulce
?”

“Huh?” She blinked.

“It means my sweet chili pepper in Spanish, which suits you perfectly! Shall we go before our passions overcome us?” he said with a sly wink.

“Oh!” She realized she’d been holding her breath. “Yes, Sunshine will be waiting, but there’s something I need to give you too!”

“Give me?” His brow furrowed in surprise.

“Something small. Nothing as lovely as your gift.”

She produced a large paper bag out of which she pulled a huge cowboy hat and placed it on his head. “It’s a perfect fit!” she exclaimed, clasping her hands and sighing. “You look like you are going to come galloping on your horse any moment, sweep me of my feet, and ride away into the sunset.”

“Strange words from someone who doesn’t want me to touch her!”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, that was just my very colorful imagination coming into play. You can’t touch me tonight! Mr. Lee will take care of that!” she countered with a saucy flutter of her long lashes.

“We shall see. Mr. Chang can’t afford to cross his seventy-plus-year-old girlfriend. I’ll have you eating your words, rather swallowing them whole, before the night is out,” he muttered mysteriously before heading out of the room.

The veiled threat in his voice wasn’t lost upon her.

Yearnings

S
haan’s car was at the mechanics for repairs; therefore, he and Ruhi had to practically race to Sunshine’s to make up for lost time. They paused outside her door for a breather.

“What are you waiting for? Knock!” he commanded.

“Why should I? You knock! You’re her date!”

“I’m your husband.”

“So? I’m your wife! Is there a difference?”

“I guess not,” he said, regarding the door with trepidation. “If it wasn’t for that damn bird…”

She glowered at him. “Don’t you dare!”

He reached forward.

“Screeechhhh!”

The door flew open. “Hey you two! What’s been keeping you? Poor JJ is fighting a losing battle with his nerves. Look at him!”

They were treated to a symphony of war tanks, gunfire, and crashing helicopters.

“Oh, JJ, my sweetheart. Want some popcorn?” Ruhi rushed to the cage where the bird was hanging upside down with his feathers all ruffled, looking quite demented.

Sweetheart? She’s calling the bird sweetheart!
Shaan didn’t think he was hearing right.

“He needs to rest. He has forgotten all his lines. It was his day at the vet today. Poor boy,” Sunshine said, gently stroking a proffered claw.

“But before I lose my head, let me introduce you to my neighbor,” she beamed. “Here’s Mr. Chang. He’s been waiting for the longest time to meet his date!”

They turned in unison to peer in the direction Sunshine was pointing to, noticing for the first time the presence of someone else in the room.

Mr. Chang turned out to be a rather diminutive-looking man who was gaping at Ruhi with a stunned expression on his gaunt face.


Ni Hao!
That’s the only Chinese I can muster,” Shaan explained, extending his hand.

The old man muttered something unintelligible and collapsed back in his chair.

“Yikes! Just as I feared. Should I call an ambulance?”

“Naah! He’s faking it!”

Sunshine tapped the ancient gent’s bony shoulder sharply with her fan, which revived him almost immediately after which both of them engaged in a brief yet heated discussion, which neither Ruhi nor Shaan could make heads or tails of.

Ruhi was getting perturbed; these old folks were proving to be odd and quite erratic.

“Did I frighten him, or is it my dress? I thought the Chinese considered red auspicious,” she asked, her voice riddled with anxiety.

Sunshine patted her arm. “No, my dear. As soon as he saw you Mr. Chang said
tianshi
, which means angel in Chinese because you look as lovely as an angel. He thought God had sent you to take him to heaven, but when I said,
‘You old fool, she’s your dance date!’
he was overjoyed and couldn’t believe his luck!”

Mr. C was now grinning broadly, displaying all his yellowed tea-stained teeth. His head bobbed up and down. “All the boys will be jealous of me! You are a hottie!”

Ruhi giggled, going red, while Shaan felt none too pleased, but he consoled himself.

It probably isn’t so bad if all the so-called boys are going to be doddering octogenarians. They will be busy trying to hang on to their canes and walkers rather than dancing. Perhaps I can even get Ruhi to myself for some time.
It was a pleasant thought. He liked Mr. C.

“Ohh,” Ruhi said. “Tell him I’m flattered, Sunshine, but it’s all because you let me borrow this lovely outfit.”

“Rubbish! It’s your exotic beauty, my dear, the dress just enhances your coloring!” Sunshine declared to which Shaan had to wholeheartedly agree; his wife did paint a striking portrait.

“Oh come on, Sunshine, you don’t look any less spicy in that flouncy frilly dress yourself!” Ruhi said in an attempt to direct the conversation away from herself.

“Oh you are such a sweetheart. But that’s the exact intention!” Sunshine held up her shimmering blue gown. “We need to make all the thirty- and forty-somethings sit up and realize what they have been missing all their lives!”

“Thirty- and forty-somethings? What do you mean? Isn’t this supposed to be a senior dance?” Shaan interjected, perplexed.

“No, my handsome partner.” Sunshine wiggled her eyebrows at Shaan. “This dance is organized every year by our local parish and has people of all ages, a lot of them single young men yet to meet their sweethearts. Hence, they’ll be out in droves tonight, and Roohee and I are certainly not going to miss out on the fun, and I do hope you have a good constitution for alcohol.”

“Why?”

“Because the dance is going to be at the Old Scottish Beer Pub. They have offered to serve free beer, and you know very well when you mix men and overflowing jugs of beer, it can get wild! Ahhh…I’m so looking forward to it!” She looked exuberant. “You are going to love it, Roohee!”

Her young friend, who had a pretty good idea of what was going on in Shaan’s head, smiled innocently as she peeked at him from under the corner of her long lashes.

He could picture the rowdy scene, his wife like eye candy amidst a horde of drunk uninhibited male revelers all vying for her attention, and she urging them on like a siren!

Blast! I’m liking this business less and less!
he thought, feeling helpless.

Mr. Chang insisted on driving, and his stop-and-go routine drove everybody berserk, especially Shaan who
almost made up his mind to go back.

But I can’t! Not as long as this stupid crazy girl is my responsibility!
He glanced over his shoulder. She was smiling to herself while her fingers played with her hair: an innocent seductress.

He let out a strangled moan.

***

These folks take their fun seriously!
Shaan thought when at last they arrived at the pub. It resembled more a raucous free-for-all rather than an organized community gathering.

A sizable crowd was already at the bar, loading up their gizzards for courage. Poor wretches!

But that feeling of sympathy didn’t last long when he heard a few catcalls aimed in their direction.

“Stop looking at those rogues! It’s a clear invitation!”

“Shaan, please! I’m not a silly teenager. I can take care of myself!” Ruhi protested, her eyes bright with nervous excitement.

“So you think!” He glowered at her for what seemed like the longest instant but didn’t add anything further.

“Welcome. We’ve been waiting for our guest of honor who will be turning seventy-six tomorrow!” A large buxom woman hurried up to them and enveloped Sunshine in a tight hug. “Ahh…so you have brought along some visitors?” she asked, taking in the small eclectic group while they were introduced.

“It’s your birthday, and you didn’t tell me!” Ruhi said.

“My dear, who cares if I am seventy or eighty? I stopped counting after twenty-one!” Sunshine said, tapping Ruhi’s cheek gently.

“Let’s begin. Our caller is getting testy!”

They were ushered over to a large wooden platform and were urged to pick random numbers out of a hat, then separated into groups of eight to form a square.

Ruhi was feeling quite dejected. She wasn’t in the same group as Shaan though he didn’t seem to be affected at all with the arrangement, rather he was paying keen attention to Sunshine as she introduced him to a pair of girls dressed in colorful country outfits with their hair knotted up in braids. He dipped his head to acknowledge them in the most charming manner and soon had them laughing and giggling.

He has forgotten about me already! How can he ignore me like this? May he trip and break a leg!
Ruhi thought, her nostrils flaring in anger.

“Places please and introduce yourselves!”

Ruhi glared fiercely at the rugged young man with unruly straw-colored hair who stood across from her, next to Mr. C. He was having trouble holding himself upright.

“Hey, I’m Bryan as in Bryan Adams. Have we met before?”

Is he trying to pick me up?

She shook her head in the negative and flashed him her most dazzling smile. “Hi, Bryan, I am…uh…Venus as in Venus the goddess of love, and…I’m not available!”

He was taken aback, but before he could mumble anything else, the dance started with the caller calling out their positions.

It was confusing, the music and calls making no sense at all, but she soon realized most others were in the same boat. She almost fell, tripping over Bryan’s foot, but he caught her before toppling over himself. She helped him up, and they stood together laughing as she spied Shaan’s tall figure striding away in the direction of the bar.

Now what’s got into him?
she wondered, at once apprehensive when she saw him scoop up a large frothy mug.

“Now ladies and gentlemen, evergreen Ms. Sunshine who plans to get hooked for the second time before the night is over, wishes to give all you girls some pointers on how to go about the task!”

“Come here and join me, my dear!”

Ruhi felt a tug on her arm and was pulled over to a low stage where Sunshine stood in all her blue splendor. She had a commanding presence.

“This is a time tested way of adding fuel to the fire especially when a certain person is trying to drown his sorrows in a mug of beer!”

“But…what am I supposed to do? I’d rather go home!” Ruhi said, looking away, her eyes tearing up.

“Just follow my lead, dear, and don’t you waste your precious tears on any man. Show him what he’s missing!”

Ruhi smiled without enthusiasm, humoring the darling old woman. She stood there in the midst of several people, casting a nervous glance toward Shaan who watched with singular interest, an enigmatic expression on his fine features, the beer mug sitting empty on the counter.

But then the music started. She couldn’t help but immerse herself into the catchy number and emote the lyrics. Though the song caused quite a furor in the male-dominated crowd, she mouthed the words for just one man—her man.

Blast him! Where did he go?
Her eyes frantically scanned the crowd.

“Where do you think you are going? Or haven’t you had enough fun at my expense?” He growled with that unmistakable voice in her ear as he imprisoned her hands in a vicelike grip behind her back.

“What are you trying to do?” She felt a strange mixture of fear and relief as she struggled against him, yet it resulted in making his hold tighter. He hadn’t abandoned her, but she couldn’t escape either: a weird plight.

“Breaking that unspoken promise, crossing the line that you’ve drawn in the sand, staking my claim. Letting the world know you are mine! I’ve had enough of your shenanigans for tonight!” She let out a muffled sob as he twisted her arm.

They were still on the stage, waiting for the next tune to play, for those in love as had been announced. Yes, she was in love with this man who had broken her heart. But then, why had it speeded up so, like a train screaming down the tracks, on a certain suicide mission?

“You think you can ask me, your husband, not to touch you yet at the same time give strangers the liberty?”

“No, it isn’t what you are thinking!” She dreaded hearing that menacing tone in his voice.

“But of course it is. You wanted to make me miserable with envy and you’ve succeeded very well, my darling wife! Now close your eyes.”

“Why should I?”

“Damn you! Can’t you listen to me just once? Or I’ll kiss you right here, right now, or maybe that’s what you want.”
There’s nothing more I’d like to do. These cravings have gotten out of control!

Drawing her closer, he brought her arms over her head and folded them across her waist. She smelt of lavender.

“Yes,” she gasped delirious. “Noooo! I’ll do as you say. I’ll be your puppet.”

“Good girl, trust me. If you can’t now, when will you ever?” Her knees turned to jelly, Ruhi couldn’t rely on her legs to hold her up anymore. The stress was unbearable. What devious mischief was he up to?

They were playing one of the most beautiful love songs ever sung. She danced as though in a dream, drifting in and out of the circle of his arms. His fingers played her like a musical instrument, smoothly guiding her through the motions. She followed through with growing confidence, knowing he wouldn’t let her down. As the song ended, she was in his arms again, submissive and pliant like a delicate flower longing for a gentle touch. But then he left her, disappearing as quickly and abruptly as he had come. “Shaan?”

She followed behind as he headed back to the bar.

“You should not be drinking so much. I… I’m sorry.”

“What for? Because you married me!” he sneered, shaking off the cautioning hand she placed on his shoulder.

Stunned beyond belief, she stood staring, while he smirked and waved her away. “Go! I release you from all obligations. You are free to do as you please, just leave me alone!”

He downed his drink not caring as she fled, tears flowing unchecked down her lovely face.

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