Indebted: Part Three (Series Finale): The Virgin & The Bad-Boy Billionaire (A BWWM Billionaire Romance) (3 page)

Chapter Two

"There she is! How's my baby sis doing these days?" Issaiah folds his stout arms around me in a slightly sweaty bear hug.

"I'm doing well, let me see that little one!" I push him back, so I can take a closer look at my precious niece. Marie is sleeping blissfully in Winnie's protective arms. "Oh, she’s gorgeous! Looking more like her mother everyday."

"Lucky for her," Issaiah teases.

"Winnie, how've you been holding up? Are newborns as difficult as everyone says?" It's hard to imagine they could be anything less than a miracle when I look down on Marie's peaceful face. Snuggled up against the heat of her mama, she's blissfully unaware of anything going on around her in the world. I silently pray that she remains ignorant of anything outside her perfect bubble for as long as possible.

Winnie's eyes light up, "you know, Kendra, there's just nothing in this world like it,” she gushes. “She makes everyday a blessing," she leans in and gives her little girl a soft kiss on the forehead.

"Now that you're graduating college, maybe you'll settle down and start a family?" My brother isn't known for his subtlety. He's a bit old fashioned in his thinking and has always questioned me on why I've bothered with all my education instead of just finding a husband. When I was working toward my undergraduate degree, he always acted like it was more of an extremely expensive match finder than a chance to better myself. Then, when I went on to pursue this degree, he was the only one in the family who seemed disappointed by my decision. I know he doesn't mean anything by it though, he just wants to see me happy.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that,” I shake my head smiling at his persistent cries for me to find a husband. “I’ll see if I can squeeze it in between starting my new job and finding a new apartment," I shoot back.

"There's no rush, honey.” Winnie gently scolds my brother. “Kendra is going to do things on her own time. And as far as I can tell, she's doing just fine on her own." She smiles at me, and I can't help but notice how her skin glows. People always talk about how women radiate when they're pregnant, but nothing compares to the aura that surrounds Winnie as a new mother.

"Alright, well, we don't have time for dilly-dallying if we're ever going to get out to Jersey on time. Let's get this show on the road," he claps his hands to emphasize that he means business and Winnie and I both glance at Marie. Issaiah hasn't changed one bit since I was a kid; he’s still taking charge and barking orders. He's lucky that he's got such a big heart or else someone would have slapped him by now.

You wouldn’t think someone so small could take so much effort to be buckled into a car. After close to twenty minutes of Winnie adjusting Marie’s buckles, fidgeting with her blanket, and going over where all the contents of her over sized baby bag are, we finally head out. With Issaiah and his wife in the front together, I'm sharing the backseat with my niece. She's mesmerizing. Her little fingers are clutched into tight little balls as she lazily sucks on her pacifier. Her eyes flutter open and for a moment I worry that she’s going to freak out since she isn’t familiar with me yet. However, less than a minute later she has drifted back off into a tranquil slumber.

Watching Marie reminds me of how I had finally allowed myself to start thinking about settling down, just like my brother wants. I thought I had met my future husband and the future father of my children. In my dreams, I had already even begun to imagine us in the distant future as one of those adorable elderly couples who shuffle through the park, arm-in-arm. My heart squeezes so tight that I can't breathe. I need to get him out of my mind, to move on. I told Brianna yesterday that not everything in life is about Matthew Blackwell, so now I need to start living those words.

I stare out the window, allowing my thoughts to scatter as I watch the buildings bleed together into a river of metal and glass. Focusing on the spaces growing between the buildings as we make our way out of the city, I try to focus on today. Not two weeks ago, not two years from now. Just this moment, right now. Today.

Blake comes back to the park with puffy eyes, and his head hung low in an attempt to hide them. Of all my brothers, he’s the most sensitive and he always takes it hard when we come out here to pay our respects. His wife, Tania, rushes to his side. Well, waddles is more accurate. It’s as fast as a woman eight months into her pregnancy can rush. She tries to hug him around her basketball belly, and the lines in his face iron flat as he finds serenity in her embrace. It’s my turn to have my time alone to talk to mama and dad. All the kids are starting to get restless. With Reginal’s four-year-old twins, Bailey and Jonah running around and the baby starting to fuss, I don’t waste any time making my way to the plot for fear of us being asked to leave.

Laying my wreath at the headstone, I kneel in prayer before standing at the foot of the grave. Peace slows my heart rate and calms my breathing as I look at the matching headstones that mark my parent's graves. Each side is half of an ivory colored heart, made whole again in their untimely deaths. It eases the pain to know that they're back in each others arms again, surely comforted by the love they both missed.

"Mama, Dad,” I look at the headstone when I talk to them. “I miss you both. So much.” My chin trembles and I take a deep breath to steady my emotions. “This is a big time in my life. It's exciting and confusing and, of course, I just wish I could see you again so you could help me through it all.”

A hunched over white man lumbers up the aisle past me. He’s walking with a cane in one hand and carrying a small bouquet of carnations in the other. My eyes follow him to the grave he seeks, before returning to my parents. “The thing is, I'm gonna graduate in a few days, and I already have a job lined up in my field. It’s an entry level contract position, but it's still promising. I feel like I can work my way up there, if I keep trying hard. But, the thing is, I don't know how much more steam I have left. I've been pushing so hard to get through school and to pay my bills. I feel like I’ve just been pushing myself for so long to do everything the best way I can, and I'm just worn out." As I admit it, I feel a wave of exhaustion wash over me and my shoulders slump as if by admitting it, the fatigue is claiming it’s victory in my bones.

I wait, not sure that I want to share the next part. I know that they’re already aware of what’s been going on, so I take a deep breath, "I met a man. I wasn't sure how I felt about him at first, but now I know I loved him.” The last part comes out in a whisper. It’s too painful to say it any louder. The truth is, I don’t want to be saying it at all. “I was starting to see my future with him, and for the first time since you left us, Mama, I felt calm inside. It was like, when I was with him I didn't worry about every little detail of my life, I just enjoyed it for once. I miss that. But I lost that. And now I'm just not sure if I did the right thing or not." I feel the tears welling up, I gulp in an effort to swallow my sadness, but it keeps bubbling back up.

"Anyway, I don't want you to worry about me down here, ok?” I wrap my arms around myself in a hug I wish I could feel from them. “I know this is just a rough patch and I know I’m gonna make it through. I've got your spirit mama, and if I ever knew a fighter, it was you.” I smile through my tears as her face flashes across my eyes. “I just hope that I've made you proud." Tears spill down my face, I try to wipe them off with the back of my hand, but they just won't stop pouring out of me. "I love you both." The words squeak out of my tight throat, and I take a couple seconds to breathe before heading back to my family. Unlike Blake, I don't have anyone waiting at the park to comfort me and soothe away my sadness.

By the time I get return to the cranky kids and the tired parents in the park, I've gotten myself under control. I feel like I'm walking taller and breathing cleaner air after talking with my parents. Something about sharing my life with them like that always help to ease my burdens.

"Are you ok, hon?" Winnie's soft eyes search my face.

"I will be."

"I know you will, Kendra. Just don't forget that you can lean on us if you ever need more from your family then the occasional supper, ok?"

I nod, touched by her kindness.

"You've outdone yourself, Paula! This spread is delicious," Reginal compliments his wife with a burger stuffed in his cheek like a bloated chipmunk.

"Reg, how are we supposed to teach the kids not to talk with their mouth full if you keep doing it?" She chides him gently.

He's right, the backyard BBQ that Paula has set up is just the thing to cheer all of us up. With the twins jumping around like a couple of cats with plastic bags snagged on their feet and the baby sleeping, there's nothing to do but enjoy the sun and the food. We've been swapping stories about Mama and Dad like we do every year. It's our way of keeping them alive in our hearts.

"Do you remember when you swore in church, Kendra?" Blake laughs, shaking his head at the memory. I don't remember it, but I've heard the story before. It's not going to stop me from enjoying it again though.

"No, I think I blocked it out," I laugh.

"What happened?" Tania asks her husband, even though I'm sure she's heard it a hundred times by now too.

"Well, Kendra couldn't have been much older than Jonah and Bailey, I'd say." He smiles.

"Wait, are you telling the church story?" Issaiah calls from across the lawn, making his way back to the table so he can listen.

"Yep." Blake continues, "anyway, like I said you were about the same age as the boys there," he nods toward the twins. "Dad nicked himself shaving and got blood on his shirt that morning, it was only a couple of drops, mind you. Nothing serious. But they landed right on the front where everyone would see it. We were already in a rush and running behind. Since
someone
here had to make himself pretty for a certain young girl named Violet that he had a crush on," he sticks his thumb out toward Issaiah, ratting him out.

"Oh, is that so?" Winnie smiles, "I had no idea I married such a ladies man."

“It can’t be that surprising, I managed to win you over,” Issaiah’s eyes glint as he wraps his arm around his wife’s shoulders.

"See? A real Romeo, this one,” Blake laughs. “So, Dad mumbles 'fuck' under his breath. Mama hated that he swore around us, but he always tried to tell her that we couldn't even hear him. Like kids can't understand you if you whisper or something.” Laughter ripples around the table.

“Sounds awfully familiar, doesn’t it?” Paula pokes at my brother. Apparently he inherited my father’s sailor tongue because even today he’s dropped the f-bomb twice in front of his kids.

“Anyway, we all get settled in church and the pastor is preaching, the choir is singing, we're having a great service. Our pastor, you remember George don't ya?" We nod back at Blake, it would be hard to forget since he's Brianna's father, not that I knew who she was at the time. "He always got so passionate with his sermons. I mean, he was slamming his hands and bopping around all over the place. Well, he managed to knock the Bible off his pulpit and he went to catch it, but instead he just managed to fall flat on his face right up on the stage, in front of everyone. His papers were falling down everywhere, and the whole room was silent."