Indulgence (358 page)

“No,” he sighed. “I guess you could use something else.”

He stood and nodded toward the bedroom. Such a simple
gesture, but every time he stood, I felt a new lump of dread. At least the
towel provided more coverage than I’d had in a while, but knowing that he was
walking behind me, just out of my sight—no amount of covering would matter.

He opened a drawer and then tossed me one of his black tank
tops. I stared down at it and blinked.
Bright side
, I told myself,
at
least it isn’t pleather or see-through
.

When I didn’t move, he reached to my chest and yanked off
the towel. “Let me help you with that.” His voice sounded like a Mack truck
driving over a patch of gravel.

Before he decided to “help” further, I stretched the tank
over my head. The straps came down to my nipples, barely widening enough to
hide them. The bottom hem rested halfway down my thigh. At least, it was longer
than the outfit I’d traded it for, and it was soft.

“Now what?” I asked.

Kirk shrugged, “I can put in another butt plug.”

I clenched at the thought. “Do I get a choice?”

His chest rose and fell as his gaze drifted down to my
chest. With a nod, he directed me to the living room. He returned to his seat
at the desk near the rear wall then pointed to the floor at his feet.

“I’m not a fucking dog.” This time the thought slipped out,
and my eyes widened. At this rate, I knew there was no way I wasn’t going to
end up getting myself killed.

He barely had to move, just a flash of his eyes, and I took
my position next to him, dropping to my knees. I cursed him silently as my
shoulders slumped and my head dropped.

“Smart girl,” he whispered.

“I don’t want to die,” the quiet words slipped out.

Kirk leaned forward and tilted up my face. “Don’t. No more
crying.”

“Why? You have a soft spot for crying girls or does it just
piss you off?” Once again, my rogue tongue was getting the best of me.

“Neither, but Ross does get a kick out of it. He loves
making girls cry, so if you don’t learn to control it now….” He trailed off.
“I’m not giving you a reason to cry at the moment, so don’t.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Follow orders and stop thinking.” He slammed something down
on the desk above me. “And for fuck’s sake, stop talking.”

I opened my mouth but caught the words before they spilled
out.
Stop thinking?
It wasn’t the words that I
thought
about that
got me in trouble. It was the ones that slipped out without consideration. I
sighed and put my head down.

*****

I lost track of how long I sat there motionless—not daring
to even adjust to reestablish circulation to my feet. By the time Kirk allowed
me to stand again, my legs would barely move. Sharp pain shot from my knees to
my toes as I tried to shake off the numbness.

He packed up some papers and slid his phone into his pocket.
I already missed real clothes so bad that I felt a pang of envy that he even
had pockets.

“I have a lot of stuff to take care of today, so I’ll be
gone for a while and I can’t leave you tied to the bed all day.”

My heart thumped, but I didn’t think I should latch on to
the glimmer of hope. There was no way he was going to leave me in the
apartment, even if I didn’t have a key to unlock the front door.

He grabbed the leash from the doorknob where he’d left it
the night before and my mouth dropped open. I was bombarded with the scenarios
and questions that clattered through my mind.

Kirk crooked his finger at me. “You’ll be safe.”

Everything down to my core shuddered. “Kirk—”

With that, his calm gaze clouded. He flipped me around,
pressing me into the wall. His wide blue eyes bore into mine. I blinked and
struggled to against the reluctance of my tongue. “Sorry… Master.” I forced the
word out of my mouth just to appease him, even if only for a moment, but his
glare didn’t melt.

“Just because I’ve tolerated your voice this morning doesn’t
mean you can pop off whenever you want.” He leaned in, crushing me against the
wall. “You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“It’s been one day,” I whispered, terrified of setting him
off again, “I don’t want to die, but I can’t change everything about myself
overnight.
Please
.”

“That’s not my problem. I don’t care how you do it, or how
you feel. Shut up and do what you’re told.”

I took a deep breath, habit wanted me to argue, but I
nodded. It wasn’t easy to hold my tongue and behave when I was uncertain of my
future. I wanted to know that by complying I’d be safe. That I’d be taken care
of, but all I got is that I wouldn’t be dead. It wasn’t the most comforting
reassurance.

He clicked the chain to my collar and I started to drop to
my knees, but he kept ahold of my elbow.

“You can walk,” he growled, “Stay behind me and keep your
head down.”

I wanted to cry again. Not because I was scared—because I
felt overwhelmed and confused. I didn’t know what to do and it felt like every
time I tried to do something right, it just made him angrier. All of my
emotions wanted to pour out all at once and I didn’t know how to pull it back.

Kirk tugged at the chain and opened the door. I fisted my
hands at my sides and followed him down the hall to the elevator. My knees
shook under me. I was afraid of screwing up, afraid of Gabe or one of his men
seeing me. I wanted to wrap my arms around myself, but figured that wouldn’t go
well. At the edge of my vision, I saw Kirk look back as we stood in the
elevator.

“No one will touch you,” he promised, “Gabe and his crew
aren’t in this part of the building.”

I had to give it to the asshole, he was intuitive.

We only went down one floor, and when we stepped off the
elevator, it looked exactly like the floor we’d just left. He led me to the
third door and knocked.

I ducked behind him as soon as the door opened.
Miles
—I
wanted to fall to my knees and beg Kirk not to leave me. It was almost like the
first day of kindergarten, except at least this time I had a reason to be
petrified.

Please, don’t be leaving me
here
.

Just beyond Miles, I saw the blonde girl who had accompanied
him to dinner. She was wearing a cropped T-shirt and short track shorts, and
had her legs propped up on the arm of the couch as she painted her toenails.

“Sure you’re up for this?” Kirk asked. Unfortunately, he
wasn’t talking to me—and even if he were, my honest response wouldn’t have been
acceptable.

Miles was all legs and muscle. He stood at least six inches
taller than Kirk, his chestnut skin stretched tight over muscles that made
almost every other man here look scrawny by comparison. “I can handle her for a
few hours.”

My throat felt like it would swell shut when Kirk dropped
the end of my leash and pressed me toward the door. I took one reluctant step
after another, waiting for Miles to reach out and grab me like a venus flytrap.

Instead, he stepped out of the way and let me enter without
moving to touch me. I glanced back at Kirk before the door closed, hoping he’d
offer some kind of comfort, advice, acknowledgment—anything.

His chest filled slowly and he held his breath for a second.
“Sorry, she’s not exactly housebroken, yet. Take it easy on her.”

“She’ll be fine. I’ll turn Alley lose on her and they can
talk all the girly stuff I don’t want to hear.”

Kirk smirked. “You really sure you want to do that?”

“I’ll lock them in the bedroom. Go on, get to your meeting.
I
can
handle two little slaves.”

I wrapped my arms around myself as the door closed. I suddenly
wanted to run after Kirk and beg him not to leave me. The blonde was now
leaning over the back of the couch, and Miles petted her head as he passed.
Much like I’d seen Ross do with the girl in his office.

The memory churned my stomach.

“Both of you, come here.” The blonde jumped up and walked to
the back of the couch to kneel in front of Miles, so I followed suit.

“Either of you causes trouble, you both suffer the
punishment.” He gave each of us a long look, but he paused on me noticeably
longer. Now I really felt like I was back in kindergarten, or being chastised
by my best friend’s mother the first time she let us play unsupervised after
we’d let a frog loose in the bathroom.

“Yes, Master,” the blonde said.

“Yes, uh—” I assumed that Kirk was the only one I was to
refer to as Master, but then I wasn’t exactly given a handbook or a list of
titles.

“Sir, works fine for you,” Miles said. Between his deep
voice and intimidating physique, I was terrified of simply looking at him the
wrong way. I’d already experienced his strength firsthand, but now he seemed
laid back and slightly amused at my awkwardness.

“Yes, Sir.”

I held my breath as he unclasped the chain that hung from my
collar. “Kirk didn’t tell you where he was bringing you, did he?”

“No, Sir.”
Luckily
. If he had, I probably would have
gotten into a lot more trouble along the way.

Miles laughed then flicked his hand at us. “Go on, Alley,
try to keep our guest entertained and out of trouble.”

She jumped to her feet, but I was much more cautious in my movements,
trying to watch both her and Miles as she towed me into the bedroom. My feet
felt heavier with each step. Nothing in this place ever made sense. The man
who’d slammed me into a wall and felt me up the day before was now… civil. More
than civil, he was jovial and almost pleasant.

In the bedroom, a mahogany dressing table and a matching
dresser sat in one corner of the room.

“Silver, right?” Alley asked, pulling out the bench.

I nodded as she grabbed my shoulders and directed me to the
bench.

“I’m Alley—spelled like the road, not the nickname. Where
are you from?” she patted the bench, for me to sit down, then pulled over a
chest from in front of the bed and took a seat herself.

Small talk. I hated small talk in every situation, but this
just made it weirder. “Why does it matter?”

“Just curious,” she shrugged. “Didn’t they give you any
clothes?”

I looked down and pulled at the fabric of the tank top.
“You’re looking at them.”

“You’re not going to keep anyone’s interest looking like
that.”

I grimaced, more offended that she suggested I wanted
anyone’s attention than her remark about how I looked. “Why would I want
interest? I’d be perfectly happy with fading into the background.”

“Interest usually means favor, darlin’. If you want things,
if you want to be comfortable, there’s only one way to get it around here.” She
ran a hand through her hair, pulling it all over one shoulder. “You really are
fresh aren’t you?”

“I figured they already told you all about me.”

“They said you were just brought in yesterday, which is why
I wondered from where?”

“From my house, I reckon,” I snapped. “Thanks to whatever
Gabe dosed me with, I don’t really remember much.”

Alley looked me over for a few seconds, her eyes wide.

I angled myself away from her; I was tired of being looked
at like a fresh specimen.

“When Miles said Kirk was bringing you down here and asked
me to explain some of the rules, I just assumed that you’d been working at one
of the other retreats.”

“Retreat?”

“That’s what we call them. Milo owns several of them. I used
to work at one near St. Louis, but I came here about two years ago. It’s better
than anywhere else I’ve been in a long time.”

All I could manage to do was stare back at her blankly.

“Kirk’s a good guy, darlin’. Everyone wants him, but no one
can get him. Not for long at least.”

I propped my elbows on my knees and leaned my chin against
my fists. “He’s not all he’s cracked up to be.”

“First rule of survival, don’t talk bad about the men,
especially your Master. He’s taking care of you, so appreciate it. Kirk doesn’t
let himself get wrapped up in all the superfluous like the others. That’s why
he’s good at his job. But he’s good to us. And he’s fucking gorgeous.”

I laughed in spite of myself. “Have you tried to get with
him?”

She smirked and shrugged in a mischievous way. “I have
enjoyed his company, but I have my own Master to attend to most of the time.”

She talked about it like it was the most ordinary thing in
the world. I wondered if I would get to that point. If meaningless sex would
just become some mundane part of my life.

“He particularly likes—”

“No.” I stiffened, smacking my hands against my knees. “Not
ready for this.”

Alley giggled then her face became serious. “At this stage I
guess you’ll think I’m crazy for calling you lucky, but you are.”

“Lucky to be locked up and told to have sex with people I
have no feelings for?” I let my mouth go. It was the safest place I had to
vent, and I just had to hope that Alley would take pity rather than running to
tell Miles.

She touched my shoulder. “I have sex with whomever I’m told,
but since Miles claimed me, that doesn’t happen that often. I like serving
him.”

“I noticed,” I mumbled, then slapped my hand over my mouth.

She laughed and shrugged. “I wouldn’t have expected you not
to.”

The Main Course

Kirk must have figured that where his threats and violence
failed, Alley’s light-hearted charm and apparent love of her Master would show
me to appreciate my new lot in life. I wasn’t sure I’d go that far, but an
afternoon without almost having my hair violently ripped out was a nice break.

“Can I ask how you got here?” I asked. She’d wanted to know
my history, so it was only fair that I could ask about hers.