Insider (Exodus End #1) (44 page)

Still laboring for breath, he lifted his head and looked down at her. “That was very irresponsible of me. We really need to get you on some sort of birth control.”

She flushed and avoided his gaze as she pulled the vibrator out of her ass. She probably should have mentioned that she’d been on the birth control shot for years—not because she was having sex, but because her menstrual periods had been dangerously heavy and her doctor had thought the shots would help lighten them.

“I’ll call Butch for some Plan B.”

He shifted to move from the bed, and Toni grabbed his wrist. “That won’t be necessary.”

He looked at her like she was a raving lunatic. “I’m not ready to be a father.”

“Me neither,” she said. “I mean I’m not ready to be a mother. I’m already on birth control. I get the shot every three months.” She’d never thought of it as birth control before, but she supposed it was now working double duty.

“And we’ve been using condoms why?”

“Because,” she said, her heart aching. “Because you’ve been with a lot of women.”

He laid a hand on her head. “And I’ve always been extra careful.”

She lifted a skeptical brow at him, and he laughed.

“I guess that’s hard to believe, considering I can’t seem to keep my unprotected dick out of you, but it’s a fact. I’ve never had this uncontrollable need to be skin on skin with a woman before. Being safe has always been more important than feeling good.”

Her skeptical brow lifted a notch higher.

“I’m not just saying that to gain your cooperation, Toni. I mean it. And if you’re worried that I’ve got some STD, you can check my physical report. We all get a full health screening before every tour. It’s in our contract.” He scowled. “There’s a lot of weird shit in that contract.”

“What else is in that contract?” she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“Nope, we’re not talking about that tonight.”

“Why? Does the contract prevent you from discussing the contract?”
Wow, that must be some seriously iron-clad document.

“No,” he said. “It’s your night off, and I still have a whole lot of lessons planned.”

She smiled. She’d definitely rather enjoy his lessons than talk about contracts.

“And since we don’t have to use condoms anymore . . .” He tilted his head toward her and waited for her to nod, which, after a few seconds of contemplation, she did. “Yes!” He made a victory fist and then used it to cover a weak cough. “The lessons are sure to become more spontaneous.”

A group with laughing, boisterous voices traversed the hall just outside their suite. A loud knock on their door sent Toni scuttling after the nearest cover—a comforter wadded up in a corner of the room.

“Logan,” Steve called through the crack in the door. His voice sounded slurred. “Loooogan. Need some help in there?”

“Knock it off,” Max said. “You know he’s with Toni tonight.”

“You don’t think he needs any help with her?” Steve said, his voice carrying through the door. “Loooogan, let me in. I’ve got a boner with your pretty friend’s name on it.”

“Go away,” Logan called. “I’m balls deep in a piece of heaven right now and need no assistance.”

Toni bent over and scooped up a stray sock ball to throw at him. Logan’s claim would have been true ten minutes ago, but even then, it wasn’t information Steve needed to know.

“If you change your mind, you know where to find me and my boner.”

Logan pressed three fingertips to the center of his forehead and shook his head. “Sorry about that, lamb. He must be drunk.”

“And horny.”

“He’s always horny. He’s just more likely to share that information when he’s drunk.”

Toni stared at the door, thinking about what Steve had said. Did he really have a boner for her, or was he just messing with Logan?

“You aren’t considering his proposition are you?” Logan asked.

She pulled her gaze from the door and fixed on him. “Of course not. I want only you. Not Steve. Not even the toys. Just you.”

He stared at her for a long moment and then moved to the desk where several bouquets of flowers were arranged in vases. He picked up a room service menu.

“Are you hungry?” he asked. “I’m starving.”

She was very aware that he didn’t return her blurted sentiments, but what could she do? Just because she’d fallen head over heels for him immediately didn’t mean he had contracted the same unfortunate condition.

“I could eat,” she said. She tucked the comforter around her body. “But I think I’ll start by doing some damage to that strawberry shortcake.” The one he’d so thoughtfully ordered for her. For a guy not willing to admit he had feelings, he sure was playing all his cards at once.

Toni could honestly say it was the best night of her life. They talked and laughed, pigged out on room service, made love, watched eighties movies and quoted memorable lines, and played a game of truth or dare in which Logan wound up naked in the elevator and Toni revealed her most embarrassing moments. Still, though exhausted, Toni had a hard time falling asleep. She decided it wasn’t because Logan snored every time he rolled onto his back, but because she was afraid she’d wake up the next morning and find everything had been a dream.

Not sure when she’d finally drifted off, she woke at first light and smiled to find Logan still beside her. She touched his beard-roughened face, traced his brow, and wrapped his golden curls around her fingertips until she was met by a disgruntled, blue-eyed stare.

“What are you doing awake so early?” he asked.

“Just thinking that if last night was that much fun, today is going to be beyond great.”

“The only lessons I give before noon are for anal sex.”

Her butt cheeks tightened automatically. Yes, she’d enjoyed having a slender vibe back there, a finger or two, and even the occasional flick of his tongue, but she didn’t ever want to find out what it felt like to have his huge cock pounding the wrong hole.

“I’ll let you sleep then.”

He winked at her. “I’ll wear you down eventually.” He flipped onto his side and curled into his bunched pillow, while she spent the morning trying to convince herself that lots of prison inmates had anal sex. So how bad could it be?

May 5

Dear Journal,

Sorry I missed writing to you yesterday. I was really busy. First with interviews, then with Logan. I almost didn’t write again today, but my head is so full of thoughts right now, I can’t contain them. The same cannot be said for Logan. It’s almost noon and he’s still asleep. I didn’t want to disturb him on his day off, but I was starting to get bored, so I decided to write.

Yesterday I did all my interviews with the band. Most of what they told me can’t be used in the book. Figures, right? It’s good that they trust me enough to tell me their secrets, but I do need material I can actually include. There’s one secret incident that Reagan actually wants me to spill in the book. And I guess I don’t blame her.

A couple of weeks ago someone tried to kidnap and kill her. And the public doesn’t know about it. I can’t believe it was covered up. I Googled the incident before we arrived at the hotel and the full story isn’t online anywhere. There is a short report about Pyre Vamp assaulting someone and being arrested, but it doesn’t say who he assaulted or what happened. I didn’t think it was legal to cover up crimes and protect the culprit. And maybe it’s not. So I’m going to write something about it in the book. Hopefully it’ll make Reagan feel better. She seemed really upset that it’s being kept a secret. But I think she’d be more upset if her other secret became public.

Reagan admitted to me that she’s dating both Trey and Ethan—Ethan’s her bodyguard, by the way. Even more shocking is that Trey and Ethan have sex with each other too. So they have a committed threesome. I don’t get how that works exactly. I guess I’m dense. Logan said he’s had threesomes before and even suggested that Steve would be a willing participant if I wanted to try it, but I don’t think I’m brazen enough to be naked in front of two men. He also said something about him being with two women at once and while I might be okay with being intimate with another woman, I don’t think I’d be able to stand watching her touch Logan. He’s mine.

Or I want him to be. He guards his heart so fiercely, I’m afraid he’ll never let me in.

He did open up to me a little during our interview. He told me about his estrangement with his brother. I can tell that he’s hurt more than mad. Logan apparently feels that he was replaced in his brother’s life by his stepbrother. I was surprised the two of them never made amends—
they’re brothers
. I can’t imagine letting anything come between Birdie and me. Unfortunately, I don’t think Logan has ever told his brother how he feels. I guess that’s to be expected. Logan has a very hard time admitting his feelings to me too. He probably never even told his mom how hurt he was to be excluded from her happy little family. I guess his relationship with his dad is pretty distant as well. It’s no wonder he tries to keep me from getting too close. But too bad. I’m not backing away.

I talked to Birdie for a little bit this morning. She had to go to school, so we didn’t get to talk long. I feel bad that I’m on this assignment and left her at home. I know I need to make a life for myself, but surely there’s a way to include Birdie in it. I’ll have to think about it. She seems to be doing okay with Mom, but I can tell she misses me. I miss her too.

So what else has happened since last I wrote?

Oh yeah—Steve’s ex-wife. I read things about her when I was doing my research and he’s right, he always comes across as the bad guy in their divorce. I never even questioned the tone of the information out there. Even when the truth is told, it can be worded in such a way that points a finger or exaggerates or understates or picks sides. I must be careful with my own phrasing in the book. The written word is arguably the most powerful tool on Earth. Too often it’s used to cause harm. I can tell it bothers Steve to always be portrayed as the one at fault for the breakup. I don’t think I’ll pry about it. I don’t want anyone to get hurt by something I write.

Dare said he might be able to talk the band into creating a song just for the book and letting me be a part of it. Wouldn’t that be cool? He came up with the idea. And he told me all sorts of stuff about their creative process. Sounds stressful. I hope they don’t throw things around the room. I’ll have to wear a helmet.

I need to remember to make a copy of Susan’s questions for Max. He didn’t like being put on the spot during the interview. Actually, if the guys are willing to sit there and write out answers, I should probably do the same for them all. They’ve been so great to me, I’d hate to be a pest. But damn, Susan is a total bitch. If I could show I already had all of her stupid questions answered, maybe she’d quit pestering me. Or maybe if I answered her text messages and told her to fuck off and leave me alone, she’d go away.

Highly doubtful.

Okay, I think Logan has slept long enough. I wonder if he’ll mind if I wake him up with a kiss.

On his cock. And let’s find out how much he likes a vibrator up his ass.

Feeling-frisky,

Toni

Twenty-Four

Needing something to do with her hands besides put them all over Logan, Toni switched on her video recorder to capture footage inside and outside the limo. After their thirty-six hour marathon of sex, fun, and more sex had come to a climactic end that morning, Toni thought she’d be able to concentrate on her work today. But all the man had to do was sit beside her and she was wondering how long she’d have to wait before she could get him naked.

Unfortunately, getting naked wouldn’t be happening soon. The line of Exodus End fans in front of the record store was five deep and wrapped around the block.

“Looks like we’ll be here for a while,” Logan said.

Darn. She hadn’t known what to expect at a record store signing in Billings, Montana. She should have known that fans would drive for miles for the privilege of meeting the band.

The limo drove around to the back of the store and the band members were escorted inside by Exodus End’s security team, which had arrived a few minutes before them. Once again Toni was allowed to follow them behind the scenes. They ended up in a storeroom where some woman fussed over Max’s hair for ten minutes. Toni snapped a couple of pictures, not sure if she’d include a chapter on preparation for public appearances, but it was better to collect too much information than not enough.

Noting that her video camera was already out of storage, Toni put a new memory card and freshly recharged batteries into the device, which she could also use to take still shots. Someone stepped up behind her, and she knew by the way her body yearned for his that the person was Logan.

“I am so horny right now,” he said into her ear. “And it’s all your fault. I can’t stop thinking about my cock in your mouth with that thing up my ass. You give the best wakeup calls.”

She grinned to herself. She liked her newfound power. That
thing
had been a prostate stimulator, and she was now an expert at its usage. She could set the man off like a rocket in seconds. If they’d been alone, she might have discreetly rubbed up against him, but she was still too skittish to do something that bold in public.