Read Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? Online

Authors: Fujino Omori

Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy

Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? (2 page)

BOOK: Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?
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Chapter
1
WORLD, REALITY, AND DESIRE

“Miiiiisssssssssssssss Eina!!!!!!!!!”

“Hm?”

Eina Tulle, a receptionist for the “guild” that manages all dungeon activities, looked up from the book she held loosely in one hand.

Her long, pointed ears twitched as her transparent emerald eyes tore themselves away from the pages. Her mid-length brown hair shone in the early afternoon sunlight. Despite her good looks, she was not quite as “perfect” as the elves. It was as if her beauty had been glued on, but a corner was sticking up. The guild uniform, black jacket and pants, suited her thin frame very well.

Known as the young Miss Congeniality within the guild, Eina was half human, half elf.

Adventurers were usually out in a dungeon at this time of day, so Eina had decided to read to pass the time. She responded quickly to the voice that had called her name.

He made it back safely again today…

What had it been, two weeks?

Since this bright-eyed kid came in to register with the guild?

It had fallen on her to become this fourteen-year-old’s dungeon adviser and coach.

He was an adventurer, a job that anyone, regardless of age or gender, could secure. But so many people died doing it. He was still a child, and she hated sending him into such a dangerous place.

The only reason she worried for the boy’s, Bell Cranell’s, safety was that he was in her charge. She smiled, happy to hear his voice and relieved that he had returned safely.

She hurried to fix her glasses and straighten her clothes before he came through the door.

“MMMMMIIIISSSSSSSSSSS EINA!!!!!!!”

Someone covered in black blood flew into the guild?!?! Is that him?!?!

“EEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!”

“Tell me everything you know about Aiz Wallenstein, please!!!!”

“You know, Bell, after getting covered in blood, you should at least take a shower before coming in here…”

“Sorry about that…”

I can only hang my head and listen as she speaks.

We are in a small room set up in the lobby of Guild headquarters. Sitting in chairs across from each other, there’s only a table between us.

I’m clean at this point, but that doesn’t stop her from making an overly dramatic sigh.

“I can’t believe you walked through the city as such a revolting mess! It makes me question your sanity.”

“B… but…”

Hearing someone as pretty as Eina say something that harsh so directly cuts really deep. Tears are welling up in the corners of my eyes.

Eina cracks a painful smile and gently pushes my nose with her finger. “Be careful next time, okay?” she asks, giving me a big smile. I nod up and down as fast as I can.

“So, you wanted information on Aiz Wallenstein, yes? Can I ask why?”

“Well, about that…”

I tell her everything about what had just happened, my face getting redder with every word.

I start with how I decided to go from the lower second floor of the dungeon, my usual route, down to the lower fifth.

And then about how I encountered a Minotaur the moment I arrived.

Even about trying to run away and getting cornered.

Then being saved from certain death by the “kenki,” Aiz Wallenstein.

Finally, I tell her how I tried to say “thank you” and reach up to shake her hand, but my whole body was shaking. I suddenly got shy and really nervous. All the blood drained from my face in the blink of an eye. In the end, I ran back to headquarters at full speed.

Eina is nice enough to lend me her ears, but her face gets more and more frightening with each passing detail.

“Aaahh, why don’t you ever listen to me?!? You are alone,
solo
, in the Dungeon! You can’t just suddenly go that deep without any preparation! How many times have I told you that adventurers shouldn’t go on adventures?!?”

“Y-yes ma’am…”

—Adventurers shouldn’t go on adventures—

That’s Eina’s motto. It may sound like one heck of a contradiction, but she’s really saying, “Get some insurance and safety first.”

Seems like newbies like me really need to take her words to heart. I heard most adventurers who die in the dungeon are newbies, too.

No one could have guessed that an encounter with a category Level Two monster like the Minotaur would have happened on the lower fifth floor of the Dungeon.

Everyone knows that Minotaurs only show up on the lower fifteenth floor or lower. I can hear Eina’s words now: “No telling what will happen in a dungeon.”

But seriously, if it weren’t for that girl, I’d be dead right about now. Just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine and almost makes me piss myself.

I swear on my soul that I’ll never forget another word out of Eina’s mouth.

“Sounds to me like you’ve got some weird fantasy about dungeons, and that was the reason for today’s events. Am I right?”

“Ha-ha, ha-ha-haaaaaa…”

Yep, she was right. But if I admitted that I went on an adventure to meet girls, she’d clobber me right here.

It’s true, the main reason that I wanted to become an adventurer in the first place was the not-so-pure goal of meeting as many pretty
girls and beautiful ladies as I could, just like the heroes in tales of adventure. Eina probably saw it written all over my face when I registered for the Guild. Even though she doesn’t try to control me, she always looks at me like I’m up to something.

But from today on, I’m turning over a new leaf. All of those dirty daydreams are out the window. From today, I’ll be going into the dungeons with a purer purpose.

All because I met that girl.

“Um, if it’s okay… Could you tell me about Ms. Wallenstein now?”

“Well, it’s against Guild regulations to give out adventurers’ personal information…”

She paused for a moment before saying, “All I can tell you is information that is already out there?” She might just be helping me out because I’m a newbie, but Eina’s kindness is amazing.

Full Name: Aiz Wallenstein. She is the female warrior at the core of
Loki Familia
.

There is no question that her swordsmanship is on par with the strongest of all adventurers. She once wiped out a horde of Level Five monsters by herself, earning her the nickname “kenki,” or sword princess. Some go as far as to call her “senki,” which sounds like “Lady of Combat.”

I heard that the gods call her Aiz “maji musou,” or “Aiz the Unequaled.”

Males who try to put the moves on her are slain, utterly destroyed.

She just recently passed the thousand-kill mark.

“Let’s see, what else… With her amazing body and strength like that, there are plenty of things to talk about.”

“Um… Not as an adventurer. What does she do in her free time? What food does she like? Maybe you could tell me more about the last thing you said there…”

Eina blinks her eyes two, three times. I think my face is on fire.

“What’s this? Bell, do you have a thing for Ms. Wallenstein?”

“No, nah… well, kinda… yes…”

“Hee-hee, I don’t blame you, though. I’m female, same as her, but my heart skips a beat when I see her.”

Eina lets out a small chuckle as she brings a cup of tea to her lips. How can she be that elegant just drinking tea?

It’s not just Eina who looks up to Aiz Wallenstein; she’s popular with other adventurers, too. Eyes like jewels framed with soft skin, a delicate chin, a pretty nose. She is the living, breathing definition of beauty. There are rumors about how many men are after her heart, but no one knows for sure. Eina is my boss! And we are talking like this! Am I a lucky guy or what?

Despite being half human, Eina has all of the refined beauty of a full-blooded elf. I can’t believe how friendly and open she is with me. She tells me many people judge her on her looks and don’t know her real personality.

Eina looks a little down after saying that but tells me that she’s never heard of anyone dating Ms. Wallenstein.

Fist pump! Hell yeah!

“I really don’t know about her hobbies or anything like that… Wait, wait, wait! This is a workplace! These questions have nothing to do with your job! I’m not a matchmaker!”

“But you could try?”

“N-O. Unless you have something else to discuss about your job, go home already!”

She stands up and almost chases me out of the room. It was pointless to try and stay any longer. She follows me out into the Guild lobby.

The lobby is a little bit underwhelming even though it’s made of white marble. But all the pictures of famous adventurers and various gods on the walls give me a sense of being part of something big.

“Ahh, you’re such a tease, Miss Eina…”

“You know, you are an adventurer. There are plenty of other things that you should be thinking about, right?”

“Yeaaahhh.”

Yes, I know.

The only option for people without someone to support and protect them, like me, is to work hard in the dungeons to make enough
money to see tomorrow. Also, if I don’t know my contract inside and out, I’m up the creek without a paddle. Money is always tight.

Plus there is someone… no, a goddess, who I need to support. I don’t have time to get caught up in my feelings for Ms. Wallenstein.

“You already have a ‘blessing’ from a god other than Loki, right? To be in a relationship with someone in a different
Familia
would be difficult, to say the least.”

“… Yeah?”

“I don’t want to say give up, but you have to face facts. Otherwise, this will only be a problem for you.”

Focus on being an adventurer for now; that has to be what she’s trying to say.

But seriously, it felt like a death sentence when she brought up the
Familia
.

Eina must have noticed the will to live draining from my face and decided to try and get my mind off of it by getting back to business.

“Are you going to get some money?”

“… Well, yeah. I slew a few monsters before meeting the Minotaur, so that’s something.”

“Then let’s go to the Exchange. I’ll walk you there.”

Now I feel bad because she’s going out of her way. Sure, left and right don’t seem all that different to me right now, but she’s already done so much.

I still feel okay talking to her, but there is no way I’ll be able to look her in the eyes after today.

The Exchange is within headquarters itself. We go there, and I pick up my pay for today.

I trade in some magic stone shards I got for killing mostly goblins and kobolds. Everything comes out to about 1,200 vals worth of money. Less than usual, but considering I ran away from Ms. Wallenstein, I didn’t spend as much time as I usually do in the Dungeon.

Let’s see… Weapon repairs, food for me and the goddess… No new items for me today…

“Bell?”

“Oh… yes? What is it?”

Eina had walked with me almost out the door, but she stopped just before leaving headquarters.

She looks like she has something on her mind, and then just says it:

“Girls like men who are strong and can be relied on. So if you work hard, get stronger, then maybe, possibly… You know?”

“……”

“Maybe if you make a name for yourself, Ms. Wallenstein might notice you?”

I stop and chew over those words for a moment. Did Eina, the boss who is always looking down on me, just say that? She’s trying to cheer me on as another person, not a superior. Oh yeah, that’s a smile growing on my face.

Energy and hope flood in as I step out onto the street. Just because I feel like it, I turn on my heel and yell back at her:

“Miss Eina! I love you!!!!!!!”

“… What?”

“Thank you!!!!”

Eina’s bright-red face makes me laugh as I set out into the busy streets of the city.

The Labyrinth City, Orario.

There is a labyrinth known as the Dungeon beneath the city. It might be better to say that the massive city was built on top of it.

The Guild oversees everyone who goes below the surface at the core of the city. It’s not just humans, either; there are many kinds of demi-humans living in this flourishing metropolis alongside us.

That’s about all I know about Orario. Books and studying have never really been my thing. I know that much about the city because I live here.

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