Jane Austen Goes to Hollywood (32 page)

Palmer’s
foray into the leather-goods market took an unexpected turn when Kyra Lane (star of the hit reality show
Spa Wars
) used her trademark leopard-print tote bag to assault her cheating rapper boyfriend outside the launch party for his latest album. The resulting paparazzi photos led to a 1,000 percent surge in demand; Palmer incorporated before her eighteenth birthday, and is now well on her way to that first million. Her latest venture is a line of jewelry based on periodic table elements. Grace is chief designer and equity partner, but has forbidden the use of the symbols for silver and gold. Palmer is attempting to change her mind.

Portia
moved to Connecticut with Dash and married a third-generation investment banker who played golf with her father, went yachting with her brother, and could trace his family’s lineage back to the
Mayflower.
After six months, she discovered him in bed with the latest of her nannies, a plump Irish girl named Bridget. Worse still, he declared that they were in love. He divorced Portia, married the nanny, and is now happily raising alpacas in New England — and wearing his shoes indoors. Portia is now considering an
Eat, Pray, Love
–style journey of self-discovery — only without the pesky praying, of course. Or the eating.

Grace
dated Theo all through high school, to his family’s enduring disappointment. They took turns visiting every other week, and found that six hours on the freeway wasn’t very much at all when it came to love. Theo dropped his business major after one disastrous semester, and is happily pursuing his utterly useless degree in philosophy, while Grace recently graduated valedictorian. They are currently backpacking together through Europe, before Grace starts school at MIT. She’s convinced herself another few years of extra-long-distance will be fine, but Theo isn’t so sure: he’s already looking at transfer applications to East Coast schools. Preferably within walking distance.

Grace still kisses him at every opportunity, just because she can.

A huge thanks to Rosemary Stimola, Rebecca Friedman; Kaylan Adair, and the rest of the team at Candlewick for all their hard work. Thanks to my wonderful friends for their support and enthusiasm: Elisabeth Donnelly, Stu Sherman, Leigh Bardugo, Gretchen McNeil, Jessica Morgan, Julia Collard, John Cei Douglas, Jennifer Bosworth, Laurie Farrugia, Amy Stern, and Robin Benway. And thanks to my mother, Ann, as always — for everything.

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