Jenna Kernan (15 page)

L
ily stayed at his side while his body healed. Jack had been damned lucky. Cuts and bruises were all he had suffered. That evening Lily snuffed out the light and lay beside him, fully dressed, keeping him warm through the long night. He relished holding her, inhaling her sweet scent with each breath and snuggling safe and warm beneath the blankets.

He’d missed this intimacy.

Thursday morning he’d managed to get up on his own two feet and make it outside to relieve himself. The food and drink that Lily had been forcing down his throat had bolstered him more than he could have imagined, and he no longer seemed weak or confused. He had some spectacular bruises blossoming like purple roses on the backs of his legs and his torso. He guessed the fact that the collapse had been
mostly loose gravel had saved him. Had there been a good-sized rock among the load he’d be dead, or worse—paralyzed.

By the afternoon he was well enough to sit at the table and share a meal. He loved playing house with her; Lily brought life even to this crowded, tiny cabin. No, he thought, she brought life back to him. He hadn’t realized that part of him had died with his father. Jack had been so focused on his own mission that he’d had no time left to enjoy living. He’d built his machine and set it to use on his claim, working like a demon, going days without even seeing the sun rise or set. But all that had changed with Lily.

He knew she had to go back to town, but he wanted to keep her here. As he grew stronger and no longer needed her, he felt her restlessness and recognized she was preparing to go.

He knew he should let her.

Lily cleaned up after supper and poured the remains of the coffee into two battered tin cups. It had become their habit in the evenings to take turns washing up and then sit together by the stove with the last cup of coffee before bed. He coveted the time with her, talking about nothing and everything.

Lily went out first, leaving Jack with a gold pan full of warm water. The steam curled up into the dry air as he stripped and scrubbed himself with a rag and soap. He tried to ignore the hitch and tug of his stiff muscles as he forced them to move. Afterward
he set his union suit aside, opting for only his jeans and soft blue flannel shirt.

Lily returned and he stepped out into the night.

The nights were growing longer now but the sun only receded for six hours, dropping from sight and then reemerging in the Northeastern sky.

He finished his business and retraced his steps, returning to her.

She handed him the wash basin, smelling of soap, her cheeks glowing bright from scrubbing. He tossed it out in the yard and entered, finding Lily now in the chair near the stove.

“It’s getting darker again. Soon we’ll be able to see the Northern Lights again,” she said.

Jack nodded and then added more logs to the fire, in preparation for the night.

“We don’t have anything like that back home. Can you see the lights in New York?”

“No, but I understand they do see them on occasion in the Adirondacks.”

“I love them. I love everything here, and I’ve decided to stay.”

He paused, crouching beside her. Did she mean here in his cabin? His heart accelerated at the thought of having her here.

“After all, what better life could I hope for? There are so many opportunities in the north for me and the land is so beautiful. I’ve never seen a prettier place on earth than here in Dawson. And I love the
people. They’re from everywhere and all with the same desire to make something for themselves and their kin. Self-made men—it’s thrilling.”

Jack frowned. He didn’t like that plan; it would separate them. He stared at her bright smile and the vitality twinkling in her eyes. Why did she have to be Irish? Why couldn’t he stay?

He hedged. “It’s an interesting place. Likely change when the gold runs out, though. Might not be so easy to make a living.”

Lily nodded. “I don’t need much and there’ll still be trappers and the lumber is good while it lasts. I just wish I could make everything stop and be the way it is right now.”

Jack nodded and then retrieved his cup, not wanting to say anything that might break the quiet harmony.

“I think I’ll be heading back to town tomorrow,” she said.

Jack winced. Of course, her job was there and she was doing well with her singing. If his machine paid off and he could provide for everything she’d ever need, would she move in with him? His stomach knotted as he stared at her, wondering how to broach the subject that plagued him.

As silence stretched, Lily’s eyes grew worried.

“I’ll stay if you need me.”

He did need her, but not in the way she meant.

It wasn’t right to keep her here now that he could get by without help.

“I can manage.”

She dropped her gaze and nodded. Had he said the wrong thing?

“All right, then,” she said.

“I’ll take you tomorrow.”

“You don’t need to.”

“I need supplies and I’ve got to see about investors, then get about building my engines. Sooner is better for me.”

She held her cup in her hands, not looking at him as she spoke. “Well, if you think you’re strong enough.”

“I’m strong enough.”

Lily stilled at that, the cup poised halfway to her lips. She lowered the coffee as she wondered if he had meant to imply what she thought.

She pushed the cup across the rough-hewn table as her desire for him gurgled up from inside.
Don’t you do it, Lily.

But she knew she would, knew from the intent possession of his gaze and the slow steady pulse down low in her body.

She’d do it again and consequences be damned.

Jack held his breath as she sat still as ice waiting for the kiss of the sun. When she lifted her gaze he saw the desire flash, but she remained motionless,
her fists flanking her coffee, her knuckles white from clenching the cup. He watched the battle between body and mind as she looked at his hands cradling his cup, his mouth and finally his eyes.

“You’re black and blue from your shoulders to your knees.”

That was her mind talking now. Her body spoke as well, her chest rising and falling with the increased speed of her breathing and the lovely flush of desire spreading up her neck and into her face. Her pupils dilated until they were dark circles ringed with brilliant blue.

He gave her a half grin. “Only on the one side. The other didn’t get a scratch.”

She captured her lower lip between her teeth and his breath caught. Now his fists were clenched as well. He could almost hear the debate in her mind. Should she come to him or not? He stared at her mouth and prayed.

At last she stood, crossed the room and set the lantern beside the bed. Then she turned to him.

“But you want me to stay?”

He nodded slowly, afraid to go to her. Like a hunter sighting a deer in a meadow, he made no quick movements.

“More than anything.”

Her smile lit up her beautiful face. She’d come here and saved him, stayed to nurse him and here he was planning to be a cad by taking advantage of her
the minute he was well enough. That was no way to repay her kindness.

But he didn’t want to let her go. If he could just think of a way to have her, just find some means to make her stay, not just for the night, but forever.

“The night then,” she said and snuffed the light.

Jack settled back upon the mattress, taking nothing for granted. She’d slept with him since his rescue and he’d done no more than hold her. But he was stronger now and his body pulsed with blood and desire. He prepared himself to resist her enticing fragrance, soft skin and warm body.

She lay half against him as she had the first two nights. The mattress was too small for them both to lie on their backs and so Lily had spent the first two nights on one side or the other. When she faced him, her arm went about his middle in a relaxed hold that felt just right. But when she turned away, she pressed her back against him. Even on that first night, the contact of his hip with her soft, round fanny was a nearly irresistible temptation.

He lay still and stiff as a chunk of wood, waiting for Lily to settle. Listening for the soft breathing that would tell him she slept.

Instead, he felt her fingers unbuttoning his shirt.

“Oh, thank God,” he breathed as he took her in his arms and kissed her. She accepted him, letting him explore her sweet mouth before pulling away. Next came the soft rustling of fabric and in a moment she
was beside him, naked, her skin already beginning to grow chilled.

Jack stripped out of his clothing and slid in beside her.

“I’ve been dreaming of this every night,” he growled, drawing her in.

Her throaty laugh was arousing as hell.

“I’ve missed you, too, Jack.”

Tomorrow she’d leave him again, but tonight she was all his.

He held one hand on the center of her back, guiding her until she came to rest on top of him, stretched out from his chin to his ankle.

Lily settled her hips against him and made a sound of satisfaction in her throat as the soft curve of her belly pressed to his erection.

He leaned close and whispered in her ear. “You’re driving me mad.”

With exquisite slowness she trailed one finger over his chest and down his belly.

“Do you remember the first time I touched you?”

He did—that first day he’d arrived in Dyea, wet, cold, after Lily had rescued his dreams with his gear. He nodded, his chin brushing the top of her head. Lily’s finger continued its maddeningly slow descent from his chest.

“You asked me why I did it. And the answer is, because I can’t bear not to.”

H
er finger continued its torturous descent down his abdomen sending flames of desire licking down his belly to his groin. His hand stole up the warm velvet of her thigh.

She used her toes to shift her body upward until her lips were beside his head and her tongue caressed his ear. Jack groaned in delight.

He breathed in the spicy scent of her as she shifted to his side, giving herself access to all of him. Her fingers played along his skin, stroking his belly, teasing the fine hairs and following them south. He gritted his teeth at the sweet torture she wrought. Her hand moved to the base of his erection and his breath caught. He longed for her to wrap her fingers tight about his shaft.

But she did not grip him. Instead she used her
thumb to run the length of him, making his whole body twitch and jerk with the small spasms of delight.

“Do you like that?” she asked.

“Heaven,” he breathed.

“And this?” Her fingers danced over his swollen flesh without mercy, arousing him even more.

His need grew large as the appetite of a grizzly waking from hibernation. He was insatiable, needing to feast only on her.

If he didn’t stop her, he’d come right here in her hand. He grasped her wrist and lifted her fingers, taking each one into his mouth in turn and sucking the throaty morsels. He was rewarded with a series of tiny moans. In her delight, she arched toward him. It was too much to resist and he moved from her fingers to her throat, rolling her to her back so he could suckle the nipples of her lovely full breasts. He lapped and lathed one as he gently kneaded the other. She gasped and rubbed herself against him, offering what he most desired by pressing her nipple to his lips. He took the tiny bud into his mouth, using his teeth to tease the tender flesh. Lily bucked her hips.

He clasped her taut bottom and tugged her forward, lifting one leg to his waist. Then he slid his hand to her cleft, finding her slippery and hot with need.

He rubbed his thumb over her swollen nub of flesh and she shivered and gasped, tiny whimpers
of delight encouraging him. His thumb continued to stroke and rub, exploring her body. She rolled to her back as he came to his side, grasping her leg and tugging her beneath him. Her hips moved in a rocking invitation against his hand.

Blood engorged him. He forced one leg between hers, bringing his knee up to the juncture of her legs. She moaned and lifted herself to rub against him.

Oh, sweet mother of mercy, he could wait no longer.

He moved into place above her and she spread her legs wide as he entered, lifting her hips to meet his. He stilled then, savoring the sweetness of this joining, wanting it to last all night. But Lily bucked, bringing him deeper into her body as her fingers raked his back, urging him on. The twinge of pain did not stop him but instead added to his pleasure.

He dropped one hand on each side of her head, holding his weight off her as he prepared to ride her as fast and as hard as she wanted.

With each stroke he sank farther into her sweet flesh. Lily threw her head back and her hands fell away, gripping each of his wrists for support as she writhed against him. Familiar cries told him she was close as she lifted and opened to savor each thrust. He gritted his teeth, trying to last, praying she would reach her pleasure before he found his. The race would be a close one. He’d never known a woman so full of life and so eager to take her pleasure.
It thrilled him and excited him far too much. He felt the battle lost as the sweeping surge of pleasure started deep within him. He plunged, arching as he pressed fully into her, his body quivering inside hers.

She cried out as he came in a hot rush of pleasure. And then he felt it, the rippling, rolling contractions of Lily’s orgasm, squeezing him, pulsing about him, prolonging his own pleasure as he enjoyed hers.

So sweet.

If he lived a hundred years, he knew that nothing would ever be as good as this. What they shared was special. He knew it.

No New York socialite would ever hold a candle to Lily’s passion, her beauty, her heart. It seemed suddenly very obvious that it was he who did not deserve her and not the other way around.

Reluctantly he shifted his weight from her, so as to allow her to breathe. She made a growling sound of disapproval in her throat and clung to him as he rolled to his back. He stroked her hair and wondered what he had ever done in his life to deserve spending even one night with her.

Lily startled and blinked. She lay half on Jack’s chest wrapped around him like a monkey. How could she have fallen asleep like this? And then she remembered and blushed. She knew better than to do such a thing again, and yet, when she’d realized he was well enough to lie with her, she could not resist him.
She had considered for only a moment and dismissed all consequences and the realities of their situations.

No, those were best faced in the cold morning light. She blinked at the soft gray light that filtered through the cracks around the door. Her nose and cheeks tingled from the cold and she could see her breath. It seemed that the bedding and their bodies had kept them warm enough as the fire died.

She slipped from the bed, stifling a curse as the icy air attacked her from all sides. Lily hopped into her clothing with as much speed as possible and roused the fire. She glanced back at the temptation of the bed and Jack, but she knew what would happen if she ventured there again.

She gave a heavy sigh and headed out to find Nala. When she returned she found Jack dressed. He took her up in his arms and hugged her.

“Last night was wonderful,” he whispered and then dropped a kiss upon her temple.

“Yes.”

“Are you still going?” His breath heated her cheek and fanned down her neck.

She didn’t want to. But if she stayed here she’d be no better than his… Lily nodded her head.

He pulled back and stared down at her with an expression she couldn’t read. Disapproval? Regret? She wasn’t sure.

“Shall I make breakfast?”

Jack stepped away, releasing her and taking up the coffeepot. “I can get something in town.”

She nodded, feeling bereft that she had to leave this tiny little cabin and that he no longer needed her. Even if she stayed, it would change nothing; sooner or later he would leave, while she had decided to stay in the Yukon. There was no better place for the likes of her. Here she had a chance to be judged on her merit instead of her accent.

Jack set his cabin to rights and collected some of his belongings, including a nice cache of gold to take to the bank. A few more like that and he’d be on his way down river, she thought glumly.

Lily tied her cloak beneath her chin and raised the hood. “I’ll wait by the water.”

He nodded. As she walked away she could hear him muttering. Jack appeared a few minutes later, joining her and her hound in the canoe, and pushed off, pointing them downstream toward the sawboard metropolis of Dawson City.

Once in town she walked him to the bank and waited while he made his deposit. The bags of dust were guarded by Mounties who would escort the gold to the steamers that carried it to San Francisco. Jack’s gold was in very good hands.

He let her pick the place for lunch and ordered eggs for them both as if they were not selling for eighteen dollars a dozen.

When she protested, he waved off her concerns.

“Have you ever thought of visiting New York, Lily?” he asked.

The rush of hope hit her with unexpected force, constricting her throat. But his guarded expression and furrowed brow made her pause, as she tried to understand what, exactly, he was proposing.

She tried not to let herself hope that things had changed between them, for she knew that no matter how much money Jack made, it would not be enough to gain her entry into society. So why did she hold her breath?

“There’s nothing for me there,” she said.

“I’d be there.”

She cocked her head, confused by this sudden turnabout.

When Jack flushed and dropped his gaze, Lily’s stomach flipped. What was he asking her that made it impossible to meet her eyes? She stared at him in confusion, for she would have imagined that New York would be the very last place on earth that he would wish to be seen with her…unless.

She set her shoulders as if readying herself to take a blow. “Say it plain, Jack.”

“Always taking the direct route, up the trail, down those rapids and now here. All right, then. I’ll say it plain.” Jack rubbed his cheeks with both hands as he did when preparing to launch into something new. “Would you come with me, Lily?”

She bit her lower lip to keep from interrupting him
by shouting yes, held back by the dark suspicion that reared its ugly little head.

“If I sell my machines and I do well, I’m sure I could afford to buy you a town house. Somewhere fashionable. Twelfth Street even, only two blocks from Union Square.”

“Buy me a…” The confusion cleared as her suspicion solidified like mortar, understanding now exactly what he was offering. He’d have to buy her a house, because she couldn’t live in his. Not when he married another woman.

She stood, clutching her napkin in her fist as flames lapped at her face. “Jack, are you proposing to make me your mistress?”

He flushed as he glanced about at the other diners who had ceased eating in favor of taking in the free entertainment they provided.

He stood opposite her, reaching out to clasp her elbow. “Lily, please.”

She twisted away, avoiding his grasp.

The waitress, who was scrawny as a stray cat, arrived carrying their plates, oblivious to the excitement.

“Eggs over easy?” she asked.

Lily never took her eyes off Jack as she spoke. “Give mine to the dog.”

Lily’s departure marked the beginning of a dreadful week for Jack. She would not see him, except
from the stage and her friend Bill kept him from venturing any closer. She was clearly livid with him, and the more he thought about it, the more he came to the conclusion that she was right. He’d been out of line to ask her, especially when she’d only just finished telling him that she loved it here. What business did he have dragging her to New York and shutting her up in what amounted to an elegant cage? Lily needed to be free, to live a life of excitement, as her mother had wanted, not to exist in a half life as his mistress.

To make matters worse, word had spread about his cave-in and, as a result, he had no success getting potential investors to even consider laying down their hard-won capital on his invention.

He feared his only option was to mine his claim, take what he could manage to extract and then make his way home, tail between his legs. The thought of leaving Lily troubled him more than the recognition that he had failed. How was that possible?

He was sitting alone, nursing a beer at a dirty table in the Blue Wolf, a small saloon which sat on the corner of Harper and Third, when someone took the opposite seat.

He glanced up to find Lily staring at him with those intense blue eyes.

“No luck with the investors, I see.”

His shoulders sank under the weight of his failure. Word had reached her of his failings. It reminded
him of how he’d felt back there, after his father had died and before he could find the money to leave.

“No.”

“How much does it cost to make one of those things?”

“Two hundred and sixteen dollars in materials each.”

“And how many were you wanting to make?”

“Six to ten to start.”

Lily stood, reached into her purse and withdrew a sack. The weight of it when it contacted the table and the way it remained upright and immobile, told him exactly what lay within.

“There’s two thousand, Jack. See if you can talk the supplier down sixteen dollars a piece for buying in volume.”

He stared up at her, astonishment rendering him dumb. There was no doubting from her expression she was still furious with him, yet here she was, offering him what must amount to all she had in the world.

“Why?”

“Because I promised I’d help you all I could. Now take it and do what you came to do, so you can go back there and reclaim what you’ve lost.”