Katie Opens Her Heart (7 page)

Willis will grow into a
gut
farmer someday, Jesse thought. As would Leroy. They were both steady and dependable boys. Willis took the time to look before he jumped into something. Leroy scolded Willis often for his moments of indecision, but it wasn’t like that at all. Willis’s hesitations were marks of wisdom that shouldn’t be quenched.

Praise must be given out carefully, Jesse believed. Willis might be better off not knowing his
gut
qualities too soon. But he was thankful for both of his older boys. Out of all the children, they seemed bothered the least by the lack of a
mamm
in the house. Still…Jesse picked up his bucket. Emma would also be
gut
for Leroy and Willis.

Chapter Seven

After the chores were finished that morning, Jesse sat at the kitchen table waiting while Mabel brought over the plate of eggs. Leroy and Willis were still washing up, the noises of their splashing coming through the washroom door. They soon stepped inside, their hair still wet across their foreheads.

“Don’t come into my kitchen dripping water all over the place!” Mabel ordered, throwing them each a towel. “Dry yourselves off first.”

Leroy grinned and said, “What’s up with this? Giving us orders like we’re little boys? I declare! Mabel’s acting more like a boss each and every day.” The boys dried themselves with the towels and took their places on the back bench at the table.

Jesse gently chided, “Mabel does the best she can, and we should be thankful for all her hard work.”

“There! Let that be a lesson!” Mabel seized upon the help her
daett
had given and glared at her brothers.

“I think the boys should listen to Mabel,” Carolyn announced from her place beside the stove as she picked the last of the bacon from the frying pan.

Jesse laughed. “Okay, that’s enough. I must say that Mabel and Carolyn do their share of the work around here.”

Broad smiles spread across the girls’ faces.

“Come, let’s sit down!” Mabel took Carolyn’s hand after she’d set the plateful of bacon on the table. “The food’s ready.”

“And it’s more than
gut
enough,” Jesse said. “Both of you have done very well with the work around the house since
Mamm
died. And you are all—including the boys—growing into decent, hard-working children.
Mamm
would be very happy to see this if she were still with us.”

Mabel and Carolyn had sober looks on their faces. Jesse waited. He allowed the silence to stretch into long moments. It did them all
gut
to occasionally reflect on Millie’s passing and on the future. When the two older boys shuffled their feet a bit, Jesse knew it was time to move on to prayer.

On the back bench, Leroy and Willis had their heads up, looking first at him and then at the food on the table.

The boys were hungrier after the early morning chores than he was, Jesse noted.

Leroy cleared his throat.

Jesse bowed his head and mumbled, “Let’s pray.” He gave them a few seconds to bow their heads. “Great God in heaven, we thank You this morning again, first of all for this food that You have so graciously given us and for our night’s rest from which we have all awakened unharmed. Give us grace this day so that we might live right. Give us mercy through the blood of Your Son who covers any transgressions we have made in the weaknesses of our flesh. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Give grace to our family at this time and in the days ahead. And may our hearts always be turned toward Your face. May we seek to walk in obedience to Your Word. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, we ask this. Amen.”

Leroy grabbed the plate of eggs before Jesse even opened his eyes. For a moment words of rebuke hovered on Jesse’s lips, but he pushed them back. This morning was not the time for hard words. Rather, it was a time for overlooking faults and thinking of the
gut
things still to come. It was time, he thought, to mention Emma to the children.

Mabel was watching her brother out of the corner of her eye, disapproval written all over her face.

Jesse smiled, shaking his head at her.

Mabel gave a little sigh of disgust before she took a piece of toast and passed the plate on to Carolyn.

Jesse held his fork in his hand, filling his own plate when the eggs came around. He soon cleared his throat. No one looked up but he began anyway. “I suppose some of you are wondering where I went last night. And perhaps the night the other week when I was gone for an hour or so.”

“I already know,” Leroy announced, not looking up from his plate.

“So do I,” Mabel said.

Neither Carolyn or Willis offered a comment. Little Joel didn’t even look up from his plate.

“I was visiting the widow Emma Raber,” Jesse continued. Saying the words felt
gut
.

“What did you want with Emma Raber?” Carolyn stared at him.

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Leroy muttered.

Jesse gave him a sharp, sideways glance. He’d suspected Leroy entertained a negative opinion of Emma, but the boy didn’t need to express his thoughts so freely in front of the others.

“I don’t like the woman,” Mabel said, speaking right out plain. “She’s not like
Mamm
at all.”

Jesse opened his mouth and closed it again without saying anything. This was not going well.

“Do you really want to marry Emma Raber?” Willis’s face was filled with astonishment. “I’ve never heard one
gut
thing about her.”

Jesse took a deep breath. Where these strong feelings were coming from, he couldn’t imagine. He’d expected some objections, but he obviously misjudged his children’s receptivity. But now that he’d brought the subject up, it was better to deal with it in the open rather than sweep it under the living room rug, so to speak.

“I wasn’t expecting all of you to have such strong feelings about this.” Jesse kept his voice even. “But I guess you do have the right to speak your minds since I hope Emma will someday be your new
mamm
.”

“She has agreed to this?” Mabel said after she gasped. “
Daett
, how can you marry so quickly after
Mamm
’s passing? And to such a weird woman?”

“
Yah
, really weird,” Leroy agreed. “I get chill bumps just driving past their place. And that daughter of hers…”

“Her name’s Katie,” Willis offered, apparently trying to be helpful.

“
Yah
. Katie, that’s the one,” Leroy said. “And, Willis, don’t tell me you’ve been making eyes at her or I’ll disown you as a brother.”

“I have not!” Willis retorted. “She’s way too old for me.”

“Children, children!” Jesse interrupted. What was he to tell them? They would have to be persuaded Emma was a good woman. Scolding would get him nowhere. He had to exercise patience and understanding. Of course, this idea was kind of sudden for them. And any new
mamm
would no doubt be a hard adjustment for all of them in some ways. Since he wasn’t saying anything, the children all looked at him, even little Joel. They were waiting for him to say something more. The problem was that he didn’t know how to go on.

“Who is this Emma?” Little Joel was the first to break the silence. His smiling face shone over his plate of eggs and bacon.

Jesse smiled back. At least he had one child on his side.

“She’s a widow woman,” Jesse said. “She lost her husband the same way we lost
Mamm
, only it’s the other way around.”

Joel pondered the information.

“Would you like Emma for your new
mamm
?” Jesse asked.

“I don’t know,” Joel said. “Would she be like
Mamm
was?”

Silence settled on the room again as they all looked at their
daett
. Leroy even stopped chewing.

What should he say, Jesse wondered.

Willis spoke up. “I think we should let
Daett
do what he wants about…”

Mabel answered before all the words were out of Willis’s mouth. “I think
Daett
should answer Joel’s question. I would like to know myself. Does he think he can find another
mamm
like we had?”

Jesse swallowed hard before speaking. “No other woman will be like your
mamm
, Mabel. But a new
mamm
can still be a
gut mamm
all the same. And I think Emma is the woman
Da Hah
wants me to marry.”

“Do you think I’m not doing a
gut
enough job with the housework?” Mabel asked. “Is that why you want to marry again?”

“
Nee
.” Jesse smiled. “I just told both you and Carolyn what a
gut
job you’re doing. But you shouldn’t be working this hard. And you should be thinking about normal girl things instead of doing all this housework.”

Mabel didn’t look convinced. “Emma’s horribly strange, and I don’t like her.”

“Emma Raber is never going to be anything like
Mamm
.” Carolyn had tears brimming in her eyes.

Jesse stroked his beard, his breakfast forgotten. This hadn’t been a
gut
idea, he decided, bringing the subject up during breakfast. Millie would have known it wasn’t, but Millie wasn’t here any longer. If anything brought out his need for a
frau
in the house, this conversation surely was doing so. Taking a deep breath, he tried again. “Emma would not be like
Mamm
, I agree. But we would grow to love her as time goes by. I feel in my heart that I can, and I believe you also can. Perhaps not like we loved
Mamm
because nothing can ever be like that, but in a different way, a special way. I believe Emma and her daughter can find places in our hearts.”

“I don’t think I can stand that woman in my house!” Mabel declared, not looking at her
daett
.

“I can understand how you feel.” Jesse tried to say calm. “All our hearts were torn by
Mamm
’s passing. But you children shouldn’t have to bear all the extra work. You’re too young for that. Mabel, you’re only sixteen, and a sixteen-year-old shouldn’t have to plan meals for the whole family, manage washdays, and oversee her younger sister and brother. It’s too much to ask of you, and I’m sorry that I’ve had to. So far I haven’t had a choice, but I’m hoping Emma will change that.”

“I still don’t like it!” Mabel clearly wasn’t backing down an inch.

“You don’t have to make such a fit,” Willis spoke up. “It’s disturbing my breakfast.”

“That’s because you don’t think further than your nose,” Mabel shot back at him. “You can go out to the fields and get away from
Daett
’s new
frau
, but I’ll have to live in the house with her, cook with her, fix supper with her, and take orders from her. She will affect my life the most. How can you do this to us,
Daett
? Wasn’t it bad enough when
Da Hah
took
Mamm
? Now you plan to bring a woman in to take
Mamm
’s place?”

“Please, Mabel,” Jesse said, “give the idea a chance. Emma would be a
gut mamm
for you. And have you ever spoken with Katie? She seems like a nice girl from what I’ve seen and heard of her. She was out helping with chores when I visited last night.”

Mabel looked close to tears. “Maybe if I’d help with the outside chores you wouldn’t feel the need to marry someone. But how can I? The housework is more than I can handle now.”

“Stop talking this nonsense, Mabel,” Leroy said. “You don’t like Emma, and neither do I. But don’t feel sorry for yourself. I can’t stand that.”

Jesse figured he had to bring the conversation back under control, but how? Should he tell them all to hush? Tell them he was going to do what he wished, what he thought was right? That would silence the children, but it wouldn’t silence the pain in their eyes or the sorrow in their hearts. Perhaps it was better to allow this ruckus than to drive the pain into hiding. “I’m sorry for how much this hurts,” he said after a few minutes. “You’re all very dear to my heart. I could listen to your desires and not visit Emma again, but I don’t believe that is the right thing to do. Why? I believe this is what
Da Hah
wants for me…and for you. I would like to have Emma as my
frau
and for her to be your new
mamm
. But the truth is that Emma has not yet agreed to any of this.”

“Then
Da Hah
be praised!” Leroy said. “At least the woman has some sense in her head.”

“Leroy!” Jesse glanced sideways at his oldest. “That’s enough out of you.” Expressing themselves in a time of pain was one thing, but disrespect was another. Jesse would not tolerate his children being disrespectful. That could only lead downhill until they disrespected the church, next the ministers, and finally
Da Hah
Himself.

“I’m sorry,” Leroy said, dropping his head.

“Perhaps we will talk more about this later,” Jesse said, pushing away from the table. “I had hoped you would be a little more understanding about this matter, but even in my disappointment I still want you to express your feelings as we work through this. Emma apparently agrees with all of you except for little Joel. But we shall see. I have not yet been persuaded in my heart that
Da Hah
isn’t leading me in asking Emma to be my
frau
.” Jesse looked around the table, and they all had their eyes cast down…even little Joel. “Come,” he said. “Let’s go to the living room for the Scripture reading. It looks like we all need
Da Hah
’s Word for the days ahead.”