Katy Kelly_Lucy Rose 01 (7 page)

So now I have to find a card for Melonhead.

Pop has sympathy for the valentine problem so he took me to Grubb's where I tried to find one box with 22 good cards and one bad card. But it turned out they don't come that way and even the good cards were P-U. So we bought a pocket box of conversation heart candies and some Elmer's glue and Eddie gave us some doilies that he has in the
back room where he keeps the Evening in Paris dusting powder and other things that take up valuable shelf space and nobody wants to buy.

When we got back to Madam and Pop's house I dumped all the candy hearts on the kitchen table. I saved HOT STUFF for Madam and COOL DUDE for Pop and LUV YOU for my dad and PRETTY LADY for my mom. Then I started making little piles. I put U R A QT and SWEET GIRL and FOR KEEPS in Jonique's pile. I gave Pierra one that said IN STYLE because she is. I saved COOL GUY for Sam and AWESOME for Emily Kate and DREAMY for Robinson, GAL PAL for Kathleen and ROCK STAR for John Gallagher who is our new lunch aide and can play the guitar. After I got done with everybody except Melon-head I looked at what I had left which was bad news for me. I ate TRUE LOVE just to be sure I didn't accidentally glue it to his doily. Also MARRY ME which was even worse. What was left after that was U R KIND, TRÈS CHIC, CALL ME, and ROMEO. Pop ate CALL ME because he said, “I certainly don't want Melonhead tying up our phone line.”

And then he ate TRÈS CHIC which is a French way to say fashionable which Madam said wasn't really appropriate for a boy but I was considering anyway. Then Pop went off to feed Gumbo and I got the greatest idea in my life which was to lick, carefully, all the letters off of ROMEO which worked great and turned it into a plain purple heart. Then I glued the hearts onto the doilies and wrote “From Lucy Rose” with a glitter pen on the bottom and put them in the envelopes that Madam uses to pay her bills and then I put them in the extremely très chic pink and red covered shoe box my mom made for me. At dinner I told how I solved my number one valentine problem and Madam said she was surprised at me but it didn't sound like in a good way.

I went to bed on time but I could not sleep from feeling bad which made me surprised and I got up and took out Melonhead's card and opened it up and picked off the spit heart and pasted on U R KIND which was more than I wanted to say but was all I had left and put it back in the box for the morning.

After I gave my card to Melonhead he gave me a card back. It said YOU ARE A FART.

This is the question I e-mailed to Madam today: “Dear Lucy Rose, Do you know a good way to get even with somebody? Signed, One Steaming Mad Person.”

The answer came. It said: “Dear Steaming Mad, I know lots of ways to get even but it's better to get over it. Try.” I say P-U on that advice.

I got up at 6:00 this morning because of excitement over my dad coming for Presidents' Day
weekend even though his airplane was not landing until 10:30. So I sat on the front porch with my suitcase that could hardly close because I had so many things inside of it, and waited. After a while my mom brought me cinnamon toast and sat with me until he came in a taxi and picked me up. When we got to the hotel he gave me a tiny box that is shaped like a heart and has four pieces of chocolate that is from him and pink nail polish from Glamma, who is one for wearing polish. Also makeup and stick-on eyelashes and sometimes fake nails. I am not allowed to wear fake nails but when I go to her house she lets me try on her lipstick and she paints my real nails any color I pick which is a hard job because Glamma has more than thirty bottles. My best ones are Cocoa-Cabana and Moonlight Delight and Coral Gables. Glamma has hair that is called Strawberry Blond and she dresses like a movie star and she has a golden purse that I love like anything. One time I told Madam that she should dress like Glamma but she said every lady has to pick her own style.

At the hotel my dad and I went swimming because now that is one of our main hotel
activities that we do together. On Saturday we took the Metro and I told my dad, “This subway is one thing that makes Washington, D.C., a good place for living.”

I knew he would agree with that but I like to point out the good things just in case knowing them might make him want to move here someday. We rode the Red Line to the Dolls' House Museum. The best thing I saw was a cake that was as small as a penny. It wasn't real.

On the way home we got off at the Mall which is not the shopping kind of mall but a big park near the Washington Monument. There is a merry-go-round and I got to ride on it and my dad took my picture on a pink horse and when I got off the ticket-taking man used my dad's camera and took a picture of both of us together and I made my movie star smile that shows almost all my teeth at once and the ticket guy said to my dad, “She's the spitting image of you,” which I thought was rude because I am no spitter.

But my dad said, “That means you look like me.”

“Except for the mustache,” the man said.

So that was a pleasing thing after all.

On Saturday night my dad helped me polish my toenails which is something that he is really not very good at but I acted like he is. Then I had to sit still and wait for them to get dry. I told my dad about the valentines and he said he did not know what to do with a boy like Melonhead.

So I asked him, “But what if he went to your school? What would you do then?”

“Probably have a lot of parent-teacher conferences,” my dad said.

Lately when things that are good happen I have been shouting “Yippee-yi-yo, cowgirl!” Which is exactly what I did yell this morning because our tables got moved again. This is actually a double good thing because now Melonhead is sitting up front where the talkers go and I am over by Jake. I'm so close that when Mr. Welsh is not paying good attention to me, I can poke my finger through the cage and try to get Jake to lick it. And even though Jonique is not at my table she is at the next one so she is pretty near me and also Jake. The other kids at my table are Amir who is an ESL kid, that means English as a Second Language which it is for him because he comes from overseas and is just learning about how we talk in America. Also there is Marian who is nice. She is a nail biter. I think it's because she is nervous. And right across from me is Kathleen and that is a handy thing because she told me that Jake's favorite food is Cheerios. So I made a whole Baggie full and took
them to school and put them in my desk so if Jake is looking hungry, which he does a lot of the time, I can drop one in his cage. I know he appreciates this because every time I do it he snarfs it right up.

I was telling about Jake and the Cheerios today when we were taking a family walk and I was wishing I could figure out a way to get my mom to like small mammals when Pop said, “Maybe, if it is all right with Mr. Welsh, Jake can spend spring break at our house.”

“That makes good sense,” Madam said to my mom. “Lucy Rose is going to be with us when you're at work and when she's at home she can just walk over and feed him and change the shavings.”

“That is an inspired plan,” my mom said.

“And,” Madam said, “it will be nice for Gumbo to have another animal in the house even if it is just temporary.”

Then Pop said, “Madam will make little guinea pig clothes for him.”

And I said, “Great plan!” because it is.

But Madam said Pop was just joking about the clothes.

And then I said, “Wait one minute, everybody. I still have to get Mr. Welsh to pick me. And so far that has been one big flop.” Madam looked like she was thinking up some advice but I told her not to try. “This is one problem that even an expert grandmother can't fix,” I said.

But Madam is not one to give up so she said her recommendation anyway. “Lucy Rose, sometimes you have to let someone know you are serious and not just jumping on an idea.”

“How?” I asked her.

“Sometimes when I have something serious to say I write the person a letter,” Madam explained. “Not e-mail or a note. A real letter.”

So I took that recommendation and when we got back I got a felt-tip pen from my grandfather's study and some of Madam's letter paper that has the name of Lucy Rose on the top which is one handy thing about having the same name and I sat down at Madam's extremely huge working desk and here is what I wrote:

Dear Mr. Welsh,

I know a lot of kids want to keep Jake for the holidays but probably not as much as me. I have an extremely lot of experience with dogs because I used to have one in Ann Arbor and my grandparents still do have one named Gumbo. I walk her a lot and take her to Grubb's and never leave her tied to the fence while I am inside and then forget and go back home without her which the rest of the family does sometimes, so it is for sure that I am the most responsible. Also, I would feed Jake and make sure he didn't get wet which I know can do in a guinea pig. And I would give Jake love and I promise to keep him safe. Also I have six dollars and forty cents that is mine for helping my grandmother get her office organized which means I can buy his food. So I would really like it if you would pick me. Please.

Sincerely from your student,

Lucy Rose

So, the very first thing today I gave Mr. Welsh the letter and he read it while I stood right there watching.

“Lucy Rose,” he said, “you make a good case for yourself. You may be Jake's keeper for the second half of spring break.”

I looked at him hard. “Is this for serious?” I asked him.

“Yep,” Mr. Welsh said. “Your letter convinced me.”

“Yippee-yi-yo, cowgirl! Thank you, thank you, Mr. Welsh,” I said and I gave him one big hug.

Then he said, “Adam Melon is going to keep him for the first five days, so you two can figure out how to make the trade.”

I was so happy about my days that I tried not to think about his. At recess Jonique and I sat in the mulch under the jungle gym bridge in the kindergarten playground and ate her Fruit Roll-Up and I told her she could help with taking care of Jake. She said, “You are one great person for sharing, Lucy Rose.”

I did not say it out loud but I think she is right about that.

Since my mom had to work a weekend day she had this day off and she picked me up from school and I told her and we both ran the whole way to
Madam and Pop's house so they could know too. When I got there I hugged Madam so hard because it was her advice on writing the letter that made Mr. Welsh pick me. When Pop heard the news he told Madam, “You better get busy making those guinea pig costumes.” And that had us laughing our heads off.

And then my mom said this was such a great day that she was going to make my two best foods which are lasagna and blueberry cobbler for a celebrating dinner.

After dessert I made an e-mail for my dad and I told him all about everything and he made an e-mail back that said: “Congratulations! I am proud of you. That was an excellent letter you wrote to Mr. Welsh.”

And I wrote back the words: “One thing about me lately is that I am getting mature like you can't believe.”

Today at recess Jonique said to me, “Can I come to Madam and Pop's with you after school?”

But I said, “Nope, because one thing I have learned is that if it's a holiday, your house is better.”

So when school was over we went to Jonique's and Mrs. McBee was waiting for us with shamrock cookies that came from the Sweetheart Bakery, and man-o-man, were they dee-lish. And she gave me and Jonique stickers that say KISS ME, I'M IRISH! And then she did.

I told her that actually I really am half Irish because my dad is and that's why he has red hair and so do I. So Mrs. McBee said, “Then I'd better kiss you again for luck!” And she did, again, right on the top of my head.

And I said to her, “You are the queen of all the McBees!”

My mom and I went to the pet store and my mom bought a bag of guinea pig food and with my own money I bought a blue plastic ball with a bell inside for Jake to play with and when we got home I got out my painting kit and painted a big sign that has palm trees and hearts and smile
faces on it and says WELCOME JAKE so that when he gets here he will know he is in guinea pig paradise.