Kiss Me Deadly (7 page)

“Tease.” Jimmy plucked the paper from her fingers. He splayed a hand on her hip and ghosted the abrasive napkin over her pebbled skin. “Can’t have you overheating, can we?” The bartender placed the cups in front of them. Jimmy scooped a piece of ice and ran the cube down her spine.

“Jimmy.” His name came out of her lips in a husky moan. Lips followed the trail the ice left. Sameera grabbed her drink and guzzled to keep from perishing of want.

Ignore the urge to give in. Ignore the urge to give in.

The words played over in her mind, a new mantra. Jimmy nipped her skin and stepped back. He grabbed his drink and took a sip. Sameera imagined he wore his signature smirk. His hand stayed on her hip, his thumb rubbing against her side.

“Hey, guys. I don’t know about you, but I am starving. Pizza or Chinese or even Waffle House?” Catalina screamed over the music.

“Where are Dominique and Carrie?” Sameera slapped Jimmy’s possessive hand away. She looked to the crowd, her eyes locked on Shea heading their way with Carrie draped over his shoulder. When they reached the table, she reached out and licked Carrie’s outer arm. “Vodka Jello?”

“Crazy like her sister.”

“I just won two hundred bucks.” Carrie flashed the cash.

“Yeah and every guy in here got a hard-on watching you wrestle in a fluorescent pool of Jello.”

“Oh save it. You bang them drum sticks and make a million plus girls wet. Just think, you can lick me off.”

“Oh ew, get a room.” Catalina stepped around them. “Shea, you might want to let her down before all the blood rushes to her head.”

Sameera laughed. “We were just talking about food. I’m thinking my place and pizza.”

“I could go for a whole pizza by myself.” Midian’s voice boomed during a break in music. “We need to get our things and get out while everyone is still dancing. Our cover will not last once we hit real life outside of these warehouse doors,” Jimmy reminded them.

“I agree. This has been a fucking badass night without feeling the stress of cameras in our faces. Midian, dude, you know how to bring the party on.”

Sam skirted around Jimmy. “Let’s go, girls.” They formed their conga line and danced their way to the women’s locker room. Since everyone was busy drinking and dancing, once again they had the digs to themselves. “Look, they even have cool wipes to get the paint off.” Together they made fast work of removing the dry goop from their faces and bodies, shucked the clothing and redressed in their things. Using an empty knapsack, they bagged the paint-soiled garments up. “I’ll take this,” Sameera volunteered.

“One second. I need a shower, this sticky isn’t coming out.” Carrie groaned and gave up trying to get it off.

“No worries, Carrie, you can totally use the shower at Sam’s. She won’t mind,” Dominique offered.

“Yeah, that’s fine but no sex in my shower. I know drummer boy will follow you back there. I don’t want to step in anything unmentionable.”

“Like I wouldn’t wash that down the drain…if it were to happen.” Carrie wagged her brows. “Let’s go, wrestling in a pool of Jello worked up an appetite. I got the pizza covered since you bought most of the drinks, Sam.”

“Put that winning money to good use.” Catalina plumped her lips up. “I plan on bagging one of your sexies tonight, Sam. Midian or Major. Can’t decide, might just take both brothers on.”

“As long as you take them upstairs to your place, I don’t care,” Sam mumbled, leading them out to the guys. Jimmy looped an arm around her neck. His stride forced her to hurry up to keep his pace.

They joked as they hit the street and found the service car waiting for them. The guys waited for the girls to pile in before following. Sam employed her smarts to keep Jimmy from sitting next to her. When he slid in beside Midian, he winked in her direction.

“What?”

“You’re funny, meerkat. We’re going to be on a bus for a couple of weeks. Go ahead and keep your distance. Once we’re on the bus the game is on. I’m coming for you.”

Cream drenched her panties at his crass words in front of mixed company. “It’s just a car ride, J.J.”

“Yeah?” He put his hand behind his head and closed his eyes.

Sameera leaned forward to tell the driver her address. When she glanced back at Jimmy, she found his irresistible green eyes staring back at her. They couldn’t make it to her home soon enough. She needed a break from him already, and inviting him into her home, not the smartest idea for keeping away from the Jimmy buffet.

Empty pizza boxes and wine bottles cluttered the living room table. In the hour and a half they’d been inside her home, they’d devoured six large pies. Sam watched Jimmy pour her another glass of wine. In the background she heard Carrie squeal.

“Make sure you clean my shower, Carrie.”

“We next?” Jimmy teased.

“Is that why you keep plying me with wine?” She noticed he’d stopped drinking liquor long before they left the party.

“You’re nervous having me here. I get it and I like seeing you relaxed and happy. If wine helps you get to that point, then I’ll keep pouring until you say stop.”

“You’re not getting into my pants. I’m not on jumping on the Jimmy buffet.” Sam hiccupped.

“Buffet?” He cracked up. “Meerkat, now that’s a visual I wouldn’t have expected from you. Although, after seeing you work your hips and torso with those belly dancing moves you rocked tonight, I’m banking there is a very dirty side waiting to be set free.”

“Where did the others go?” She yawned.

“Your girl, Catalina, took Midian and Major home with her and I think Dominique snuck out with Vin.”

“Sneaky bitches didn’t even say goodnight.” Sam leaned back against the couch and took a sip.

“Why don’t you go get ready for bed? I’ll tuck you in like I used to.” Jimmy began cleaning up the mess scattered around them.

After stumbling her way to her bedroom, she brushed her teeth in her personal bathroom and then found her favorite band T-shirt in her closet. Jimmy stood in the doorway as she undressed and slipped the shirt over her body.

“I’m going to use your bathroom. You need anything?”

Just you.
She wanted to say but didn’t. Instead, she shook her head, fervently praying all her feminine products, bras and birth control were put away.

While he was occupied, she took a moment to open up her nightstand and look for Miles’ letter. Every night since she’d received the letters for her and Jimmy, she’d read hers. The smooth aged paper felt good in her hands. Her last lifeline to a man who meant the world to her. She rubbed her fingers over his words and let her eyes devour the text.

My dearest Sam,

You have lived through too much grief. I never thought this would happen. Me contributing to your loss. I remember the first time I saw you scramble up the trellis into Jimmy’s room. Thick as thieves you two became, with you barely speaking English at first. Jimmy and I earned our first detention from punching that fuckhole Thomas Kincaide for picking on you because you had to take English as a second language. Early on it appeared we’d be your muscle until years later when your insane talent took you away from us. Who needs to speak when music says it all, right? Beautiful, you are an amazing beautiful woman and I am so proud of what you’ve accomplished and saddened that I won’t get to continue to watch you grow.

I need you to do something for me. Something big that you may not know how to do, or where to start. What I need is for you to find yourself. Not who your parents wanted you to be, or your music coaches and the fans pushing you, expected you to be. You never took a break once you were thrust into the symphony, not as a kid or a young adult. I looked into you and found a lost girl, I needed to shield. My error was overprotecting you and allowing you to run to me for everything, instead of pushing you to find your own answers because there has to be a balance. You’re a smart girl. In time, I know you’ll find where you fit in outside of music and all the stressors that come with life. Find happiness wherever and with whoever brings you the greatest joy. Wake up each morning and live to the fullest.

I have two regrets in my life. Leaving you and stealing you from my brother.

Please forgive me for being selfish when you have always been so selfless. I always knew he was the one, but couldn’t stand by and watch your heart break as he globe trotted and didn’t realize he had everything he needed and wanted waiting for him to get a clue. In my brother’s shadow, I filled that void in your life and eased the pain of your loneliness. Honor my memory by continuing to play your sweet music. Honor my love for you by not hiding behind your smile when you’re in a world of hurt. Honor my faith by believing, and honor my brother by being his rock, let him in to be yours. My final request. Give him his letter from me when the time is right. You know him better than anyone. I can see you biting your lip and rolling
your eyes. You’re right. He is going to be highly pissed off that he’s being handled. Trust that his anger won’t last forever and in time he will understand why I entrusted you with this. Trust yourself and know Ma’s home is always yours, with or without Jimmy and myself. Sameera, I’m watching over you always and loving you.

Yours,

Miles

The bathroom door creaked open. Sam folded the letter and slipped it inside a book for safe keeping. She yawned and thought about when she’d give Jimmy his letter. The sealed envelope remained in her drawer alongside hers. On the bus. He wouldn’t have a chance to run, and his anger would hopefully abate since they’d be in close quarters. Many times she’d wanted to give it to him, but never felt the time was right. Secrets had a way of ruining shit. Jimmy rounded the bed. “Ready?” He drew the sheets over her and pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. “Goodnight, meerkat. See you on tour.” He let himself out of her room and she guessed out of her house. Drunk and full, she hoped sleep would come. After two hours of restlessness, she figured she wouldn’t be so lucky.

Rising, she headed to the living room and grabbed the bottle of wine and her guitar. She might as well work since she couldn’t pass out. All things led back to Jimmy. After landing on her bed with a grunt, she slipped her strap over her shoulder and began to hum while playing chords. A verse and chorus swam across her eyes. She grabbed her pen and pencil and began to get the words onto paper.

(Verse 1)

You wreck me

You wreck me

In more ways than one

Like a natural disaster

The damage is already done

Your twisted words, my broken soul

The devastation has taken its toll

(Chorus)

Like a fool I trusted you

Like a fool I fell for you

Like a fool I loved you

Until you stripped it all away

Yeah, you stripped it all away

This perfect storm still raging on

You can swallow your pride and I can say goodbye

To this perfect storm

To this perfect storm that consumes us all

(Verse 2)

Where have you been

Where is my only friend

Who used to listen who used to care

Thought I was different than the rest

Now you don’t know me

Now you don’t see me

Been missing you, been missing you

Silence in this eye of the storm

(Chorus)

Like a fool I trusted you

Like a fool I fell for you

Like a fool I loved you

Until you stripped it all away

Yeah, you stripped it all away

This perfect storm still raging on

You can swallow your pride and I can say goodbye

To this perfect storm

To this perfect storm that consumes us all

(Verse 3)

Your touch lit me on fire

Memories cascading down

Lost in the votex of pleasure

Loosing myself in you

Our betrayal stings like a blow

Destroying the life we knew

Can’t weather this pain

Can’t weather this pain

Can’t weather this pain

Of being safe in you

Chorus (repeat 1)

Like a fool I trusted you

Like a fool I fell for you

Like a fool I loved you

Until you stripped it all away

Yeah, you stripped it all away

This perfect storm still raging on

You can swallow your pride and I can say goodbye

To this perfect storm

Sameera put the pencil down. She cracked her knuckles and strummed her guitar. The clock on the stand read five in the morning. With a yawn, she laid down. The lyrics sat on sheets of loose paper next to her, her acoustic guitar on the other as she nodded off.