Kiss & Sell (15 page)

The audience began to clap for me as I walked out onto the stage and headed toward the show’s host. As I put one foot in front of the other, “This Kiss” by Faith Hill began to blare from unseen speakers, startling me at first. Recovering quickly, I sped up my walk to match the beat of the music.

I eased myself into the chair next to Big Johnson’s desk, which was considerably more comfortable than the first news show’s had been. I tucked my legs up underneath me and turned my upper body to face the large man. Up close, I was surprised to see how much makeup it took to make him not look so…
old
.

Phin’s gonna die when I tell him that his hero wears eye liner.
Maybe that was why he broke up with his model girlfriend…he caught her stealing his makeup!

I forced myself to focus as the commotion around us began to die down, and the studio became quiet again. Not sure what to do with myself, I reached over and took a sip of the water that had been placed on the table in front of me. I wasn’t actually thirsty, but I remembered that most celebrities used their mugs as accessories when they were on talk shows too, so I figured it was just what you did.

“Great to have you on the show, Arielle,” Big Johnson said, leaning across his desk to shake my hand.

“Thanks for having me,” I answered, smiling at him and then at the audience.

“Now, Arielle, you’ve got a pretty interesting story.” I nodded my head. “You’re fourteen and you’ve never been kissed.” He wasn’t asking me. He was making a statement, and didn’t even wait for me to confirm it before continuing. “Well, I think we’ve all felt like we were the last of our friends to do
something
. Do you mind telling us what you decided to do about it?”

“Uh, sure,” I said, sneaking another glance at the audience. But instead of seeing a sea of faces, I was blinded by the bright lights shining back at me. At least this way, it was easier to ignore the fact that I had a crowd of people hanging on my every word. “Well, my friends thought it would be a good idea to sell my first kiss…on eBay.”

I watched as the woman standing off-stage raised one of her signs, prompting people to hoot and holler in response.

“Wait, let me get this straight,” Big Johnson said, holding up his hands to silence the audience. “You’re
selling
a
kiss
? What, you just woke up and thought, ‘I think I’ll kiss someone today—I might as well make a buck doing it?’”

More laughter.

I tried to fight off the rising blush in my cheeks, and forced myself to chuckle along with Big Johnson. Remembering what the cute intern had told me, I decided to push back a little. “And what’s wrong with that?” I joked, breathing a sigh of relief as I got the response from the audience that I’d been hoping for. “Nah, it wasn’t really like that. Basically, I was sick of being the last one I knew to have that experience. That’s when my friends came up with G.A.A.K…”

“Gack?” Big Johnson asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly. “Is that some sort of new aphrodisiac the kids are using these days?”

I had no idea what an aphrodisiac was, but based on the audience’s reaction I had a feeling I didn’t want to know. I breezed over that question and continued to explain.

“It stands for Get Arielle a Kiss. And I know it’s dorky, but my friends, McCartney and Phin, wouldn’t stop calling it that. Anyway, my mom told us about how her books were selling on eBay and my friends started to freak out.”

“Now, we should mention that your mom is an author and a celebrated marriage counselor. So, what did
she
think when you told her you were selling yourself on eBay?” Big Johnson asked, leaning toward me imposingly.

“Not myself. Just my
kiss
,” I corrected him like I was scolding a precocious little kid.

“Is there a difference?” He asked, looking to the audience for support.

“Of course. First off, I got permission from my mom to do the eBay thing and she even helped come up with the parameters for it,” I said, picking up my mug and taking another sip of water.

Geez, it was awful hot under these lights. Or maybe I was sweating because of the round of questions that were being thrown at me. Either way, I was glad I’d gone with the extra strength deodorant.

“What
are
the rules of selling a kiss on eBay?”

“First off, I can’t kiss anyone that is more than two years older or younger than I am,” I said, ticking off pointer finger on my right hand. “Number two is that the
money I make off the winning bid has to go to a charity or an organization of some sort. That way I’m not taking money in exchange for, well…kissing services.”

Big Johnson threw his hands up in the air like I’d just said something crazy. “You don’t actually get to
keep
the cash? What’s the point in selling a kiss in the first place if you don’t even get the money?” He asked genuinely curious.

“The point is getting that kiss. Not the money. I think the allure to the whole eBay thing is that people like competition by nature. So, by giving people the chance to bid on something, they’re going to be more intrigued and involved with the whole thing, which brings me one step closer to getting what I want,” I said sweetly. “My first kiss.”

I hadn’t really thought of it this way before, but as soon as it came out of my mouth, I realized it was true.

“And we all know that guys like a girl who goes after what she wants,” Big Johnson said as he raised his eyebrows suggestively at the camera.

More than a little creeped out now, I quickly moved on. “And the last thing is: if I end up not wanting to kiss the guy who wins, then I don’t have to, and I don’t accept the money.”

Big Johnson shook his head as he took all of this in. “I guess the only thing left to ask is, what’s the bid up to?”

That was a good question. I really had no idea where the numbers were at. I started to panic slightly at not being prepared for such an obvious question.

And things had been going so well, too!

Just as I was about to admit that I didn’t know how much my kiss was worth, my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I sneaked a peek at the screen and saw I had a text from McCartney.

“Uh, well…” I stammered, trying to buy myself some time. I smiled as I closed my phone without anyone being the wiser. “I think we’re up to around…$483.” as I actually began to comprehend what those numbers meant, my eyes widened with shock.

“Whoa!” the host exclaimed before whistling loudly. “That’s some serious money for a first kiss.”

“No kidding,” I answered before I could stop myself.

“Why do you think people are willing to pay that much to be your first?” He asked.

I looked at him blankly and then turned toward where I knew the audience was seated. “Honestly? I don’t really know,” I answered. “Insanity maybe?”

This got just the right amount of chuckles before the show’s music started playing, signaling that the interview was coming to an end.

“Well, thanks for coming on the show Arielle, and I wish you lots of luck on your next big sale,” Big Johnson said, shaking my hand before turning back toward the camera. “When we come back, Ryder Diggs, from
Night Light
will be here.”

Are you shitting me?

My mouth dropped open just as the camera panned my way. But I couldn’t help it. Ryder Diggs was here. Back stage. At this very moment. Maybe I could watch his segment from the side of the stage?

Cheers, far louder than the ones I’d received, exploded around us at the mention of the TV star’s name. And to be honest, I was barely able to keep the screams from escaping my own throat.

As I started to plan out what I would say if I ran into him backstage, the studio lights went out, making it difficult to see anything in front of me. I had to blink a few times before I could focus again, and when I finally could, my vision was littered with spots.

“Good job, kid,” Big Johnson said, not nearly as over-the-top as he’d been when we were taping. “You got guts and I respect that. Why don’t you stick around for the rest of the taping? You know this Ryder kid?”

Suddenly losing all ability to speak, I just nodded my head like a cheerleader on speed.

“Good deal. Janine! Can I get a mocha latte, stat!”

I watched as my new favorite talk show host walked off the set in search of his girlie coffee drink. Then I sat there, stunned, thinking about how much my life had changed in just a single day.

I was about to meet the hottest guy on television. The guy whose poster was currently hanging above my bed, and whom I frequently imagined myself marrying whenever I daydreamed. Which was pretty much
all the time
. I was about to have a close encounter of the celebrity kind and I had no idea how I was going to stay conscious long enough to enjoy it.

I WAS AFRAID
that if I left my seat, they wouldn’t let me back on the stage. Either I’d get locked out of the studio or Big Johnson would take back his invitation for me to stay on through the next segment. And then I’d never get to meet Ryder. So I just sat there, alone.

At least the seat was cushy.

Still, I started to get antsy, and I knew myself well enough to recognize that hysteria wasn’t far behind. So, I did the only thing I could think of to keep myself from totally freaking out. I texted McCartney.

ME:
Thanks for saving my @ss back there. I almost froze.

I pressed send. I didn’t have to wait long before she responded.

McCARTNEY:
No problemo. And
ALMOST
froze? Hahaha, kidding. U were awesome! It’s like u grew a pair this morning. I’m impressed.

I smiled, appreciating the compliment. Then, running my fingers quickly across my phone’s keyboard, I got to the real reason I’d texted.

ME:
Thanks! I ate my Wheaties this morning. Now, on 2 more pressing issues…I was just invited to stick around & watch Ryder’s interview!!!! On the stage!!! In the seat next to him!!!! OMFG!!! What do I do?!?!?

I sent the message and looked up as I heard the audience begin to murmur excitedly. Only, when I glanced around, I was still the only one there—except for the dozens of crew members running around, of course—so I turned back to my phone as I got an incoming text.

McCARTNEY:
I. Hate. U. Seriously, y isn’t any of this happening to me?!?! OK, pity party over. Don’t forget to breathe, memorize everything about him—the way he smells, what he’s wearing, any weird quirks—and see if you can get him to sign an autograph for me. Or steal something from him. We can always sell it on eBay later. I’m fine with either.

I knew that McCartney was a little crazy, but she was in rare form today. I rolled my eyes before answering.

ME:
I’m not stealing from Ryder Diggs. If you want something of his, you’re going to have to go all grand larceny on your own. But I’ll be sure to tell him you say hi when we’re on our honeymoon.

I sat up straighter in my chair as Big Johnson sauntered back to his desk, a steaming cup of something foamy in his hand. He took a sip of the liquid and closed his eyes like he was savoring something delicious. I hadn’t been able to get myself to try the stuff again. A beverage that tastes like dirt just wasn’t my idea of a good time.

I felt my phone buzz again and flipped it open one last time.

McCARTNEY:
You’re the devil. And P.S. I’m already searching for Ryder’s room. I
will
get a keepsake.

“You’re gonna have to scoot on over, so the kid can sit in the interview chair,” Big Johnson said, cutting through my thoughts before I had a chance to text McCartney back.

“Oh. Yeah. Sure,” I said, scrambling up out of the chair and sitting down in the one right next to it. It wasn’t quite as comfy, but it could have been made out
of needles and glass, and I still would’ve sat in it if it meant getting to be
Thisclose
to Ryder.

“We’re on in ten, Marc,” a woman yelled out.

Seconds later, the bright lights flashed back on and I was once again blinded to anything that was happening in front of me. But this time I wasn’t worrying about it, because I knew that any second Ryder was going to come out and sit down next to me.

You know those defining moments in your life where all the stars align and you just know that nothing is ever going to be the same? Well, I was pretty sure this was one of those moments.

When the music started back up, my stomach erupted into a lava-flow of nerves and I suddenly had the urge to throw up. Clamping my mouth shut, I kept my butt glued to my seat and hoped for the best, as Big Johnson introduced Ryder.

“Girls go crazy over him and guys secretly want to
be
him. He plays a brooding vampire on the teen drama,
Night Light
, please help me welcome, Ryder Diggs!” Big Johnson said energetically.

I looked to my left and then panned right, but couldn’t seem to find Ryder. I wasn’t the only one either, because when I glanced at the few audience members I could see, they were searching for the TV star themselves.

Were we being punked?

And then we saw him. Ryder seemed to explode from between the crushed velvet drapes off to the right of the stage and then glided over to us as if he were walking on air. It was super sexy and sort of ethereal all at the same time. And clearly, the reason Ryder was cast in the supernatural show in the first place.