Kisses to Remember (24 page)

Watching him now, she desperately wanted to wake him, to enjoy him again. Not wanting to be selfish, though, she considered going upstairs to her own room, which was the right thing to do. It was Sunday after all. Kam liked to hop into her bed on Sunday mornings and watch TV with her before they both went to the kitchen to make breakfast. She had no idea what time it was, but judging from the growing brightness streaming in from one of the small basement windows, daytime wasn’t that far from blossoming.

Get up
. She gave the command, but her body seriously disagreed. Snuggling next to Holden was the epitome of comfort. She didn’t want to be anywhere else, so she didn’t move. Instead, she continued watching him, recalling the way his lips, his hands, his…yeah, well…the way all of him had made her feel so alive last night. She couldn’t keep from imagining new ways to try out.

After lowering so she rested beside him again, her head on his chest, she listened to his heartbeat, steady and strong. Such a comforting sound. One that dispelled any loneliness she had felt over the past few years.

Who knew a man would drop out of the sky for her?
Talk about fate and being in the right place at the right time and divine intervention. Clearly, someone was looking out for her.

Closing her eyes, Johanna shuffled a little closer to Holden, ready to catch a few more moments of sleep. A plane flew by overhead and as she was thinking she hadn’t heard one in a while, Holden’s body tensed beside her. She looked up to his face. His dark brows were furrowed, his teeth grinding, a few beads of sweat dotting his forehead.

“Holden?” She shook him gently, but he didn’t open his eyes.

He mumbled something Johanna couldn’t make out, then let loose a short, sudden holler that woke him up. He sat upright and turned his head in all directions, one of his hands gripping the back the couch, the other clamped tightly on Johanna’s arm.

“Holden, what happened?” She peeled off his death grip and used her palm to turn his face toward her. His eyes were still faraway and unfocused. He wasn’t fully with her yet. “Holden, can you hear me?”

He stopped darting his gaze around the room and finally looked directly at her. “I was falling.” He cleared his throat and released his hold on the couch. “I was falling, but there was this glass shield in front of me.” He pantomimed its size and shape in the air, then ran both his hands through his hair.

“Like a cockpit window?” Johanna repositioned on the couch so they could both sit.

Holden slid his legs down and rested his elbows on his knees. He took a few deep inhales before looking at Johanna. “I remember crashing the plane. I tried to stop it, but all the controls were locked up. Vaughn didn’t have any navigation either. It was the weirdest thing.”

“Weird like unusual, or weird like suspect,” Johanna asked, a little prickling growing inside her brain.

“Not sure.” Holden looked at her. “I wish I could remember more.” He stood and paced back and forth across the basement.

Johanna wanted to suggest he join her back on the couch, his naked body looking so perfect, so tempting, but something about the expression on his face made her shut up.

“I hate to say it,” she did motion for him to come to her, “but with the way Donovan Electronics claims not to employ you and how the wreck was mysteriously cleaned up so quickly, it seems to be weird like suspect. Maybe we should call the police?”

She stood and picked up her clothes. The discussion had turned way too serious to be naked, delicious as Holden looked.

“And tell them what?” Holden slipped on his boxers and jeans. “That I might remember something strange about the plane crash. So sorry, Officer, I really can’t say what that
something
is.” He threw his arms out to his sides in frustration. “I need to get the data back first.” He tapped his temple. “Until then, I got nothing.”

“Nothing.” The word stung Johanna like a bee. A big bee. Like prehistoric in size.

Holden dropped his T-shirt on the floor and walked to her. “I didn’t mean you were nothing, Johanna.” He tipped her chin up so she had to look at him. “I would never refer to you as that. I thought that was proven last night.” He gestured to the couch.

He slid his finger from her chin to her cheek then down the side of her neck. He traced the lace edge of her bra she’d put back on, and she wanted to believe him. Holy Hell, she wanted to.

“Johanna.” His voice had a stern edge to it. “Not a dumbass, remember? I swore to you.”

“I know, but I don’t think we can pretend to have something here until you get all of you back.” She leaned against him now. “And, Holden Lancaster, I do want all of you.”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “Then all of me you shall have, my lady.” He bowed. “Let’s call that doctor today. Maybe he can help us speed things along.”

Johanna was about to answer when a knock at the basement door made them both freeze.

“Holden?” Kam’s voice was muffled through the door. “Do you know where Mom is?”

“Shit,” Johanna hissed. She squirmed into her T-shirt and jeans while Holden donned his T-shirt and folded the quilt over the back of the couch.

“Go outside.” He pushed her to the door leading out to the bulkhead. “Pretend you’re doing something out there. I’ll stall him for a few then we’ll head out to ‘look’ for you.” He squinted at the clock mounted on the basement wall. “It’s early still. You’ll say you got an early start. Kam and I will pretend to convince you to come inside where you’ll make us some of that fabulous French toast. Okay?”

Johanna blinked at his quick plan, a tad concerned that perhaps he was a phenomenal liar.

“Holden?” Kam’s voice again.

“Go.” Holden opened the basement door and moist air greeted them. When he kissed her, her legs got wobbly. He pointed up the stairs to the bulkhead and closed the basement door.

She pushed open the bulkhead and light spilled into the dark space. Squinting, Johanna headed for the flowerpots lining the front walkway. She grabbed the watering can on her way and hoped she hadn’t made a mistake last night. Multiple mistakes. 

****

The delivery trucks had left all the building materials Holden had ordered for Ted’s cabin down by the site on Friday afternoon. With Kam’s birthday party yesterday, he hadn’t gotten a chance to start the construction, but after a night of magnificent physical activity and a breakfast fit for a king this morning, Holden was ready to dive into the project. Ted needed his own space and Holden needed a little time to sort things out in his head.

“Can I help?” Kam and Miles followed Holden out of the barn where he’d gathered some tools.

“Sure.” So much for the alone time.
You didn’t want it anyway.
Better to have Kam chatting away than to get irritated over what he couldn’t remember. Johanna said she’d call the doctor. Part of Holden was hopeful. Maybe the doctor would provide some little detail that would unlock everything. He had to be close to getting his full memory back. Remembering Vaughn and the crash was a breakthrough, wasn’t it?

He’d expected the rest to flood back after that, but all through breakfast, only two things looped in his brain. One was seeing the ground rush up to him as he did in his dream that wasn’t a dream this morning. Every time he blinked he had the sensation of falling again.

Between blinks, however, his night with Johanna filled the void. She had made him feel as if he were someone important, someone who had a life. Someone who wanted to enjoy her body again and again. But it was more than her body.

“Your mom is fantastic,” Holden said to Kam as they followed a galloping Miles toward the cabin site.

“Don’t have to tell me that.” Kam beamed a smile up to Holden. “What do you like best about her?”

Holden puffed out a breath.
How to answer this one when there were a million things he liked about her?

“I can only pick one thing?” He set the tools he carried down in the grass.

Kam nodded.

“Okay, then I’m going to say I like her big heart best.” The body that contained that big heart was high on the list as well.

Kam sat on a pile of two-by-fours and rubbed Miles. “Yeah, I don’t know how she does it.” The boy’s face suddenly went painfully solemn.

“What do you mean?” Holden didn’t like seeing Kam look so serious. Usually the kid glowed like the sun itself.

“My dad going to jail and Kallie dying broke her heart, but she’s still able to give me all kinds of love. She makes me feel like I’m the most important thing in the world.”

Holden let out a brief chuckle. Hadn’t he thought the same thing? “Some people are good at thinking about what other folks need.”

“Mom should get a prize or something.” Kam hopped off the wood pile and picked up a tape measure.

“That’s a great idea, Kam. After we’re done here for the day, let’s make her one. We can give it to her tonight.”

“Okay!” Kam’s face brightened and Miles barked. “Yeah, Miles, Mom is good to you too.”

“What’s your mom’s favorite dinner?” This question made Holden think about all the things he didn’t know about Johanna, all the things he
wanted
to know. Maybe tonight he’d ask her a few things. Tonight when he held her again on the couch in the basement for he didn’t plan on sleeping alone. Now that he knew what it felt like to be that close to her, he wouldn’t settle for anything less.

Kam shrugged. “She eats lots of stuff, but I’d say she likes Italian food best.”

“Are there cookbooks in the house?” Holden hadn’t scoured every square inch of Johanna’s farmhouse. He’d tried to stay to his quarters and not be in the way, although he did seem to find himself wherever Johanna happened to be unless she was working in her office.

“The cookbooks are in the kitchen above the refrigerator.” Kam’s smile grew as he rubbed his hands together. “Are we going to cook her something?”

“We’re going to try.” Holden was liking this little plan more and more. Johanna deserved a night in tribute to her greatness.

“We can get Pep to help. He’s a good cook. He’ll tell us what to do.” Kam giggled. “Mom will be so surprised!”

“That’s the hope, kid.” He patted Kam on the shoulder, then handed him a pair of work gloves. “Now let’s get to work on this cabin.”

Holden consulted the more detailed blueprint he’d sketched of Ted’s new cabin. He was glad the man liked simple because with a crew consisting of a ten-year old and a dog, anything more complicated would have been…complicated.

They worked until Johanna came out with lunch. Man, boy, and dog wolfed down sandwiches, chips, and fruit, then agreed to work for one more hour before coming in to go to the hospital.

“Dr. Sakala has agreed to meet us while Ted has his appointment,” Johanna said.

“Great. Thanks.” Holden followed her gaze to the beginnings of Ted’s cabin behind him. He was actually impressed at how much he and Kam were able to frame so far. The existing foundation had been surveyed and found to be sound so slapping up walls had gone rather smoothly. Not to mention the fact that Kam was an excellent helper.

“You look as if you know what you’re doing out here,” she said.

“You doubted us?” Holden slung an arm around Kam’s shoulders.

“You shouldn’t doubt us, Mom.” Kam shook his head.

“No, I wasn’t,” Johanna defended. “I thought…I don’t know what I thought. Good job, guys.”

Kam turned around, picked up the blueprint, and walked toward the structure. When he was out of earshot, she took Holden’s hand and said, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For allowing Kam to help you. For spending time with him.” Her blue eyes softened, and Holden’s gaze zoomed in on her supple lips, on the sunshine in her coppery hair, on her hand in his.

“I really ought to be thanking you, Johanna.” He tossed a glance over his shoulder at Kam. “For
letting
me spend time with him.”

“He looks up to you.”

“That’s why we need the full picture on me. I shouldn’t take the kid’s admiration if I don’t deserve it.” He wanted to deserve it. More than anything.

“Regardless of the past, Holden, what you’ve done while being here with us makes you worthy.” She reached up and dropped a quick kiss on his lips. “See you in an hour.” With a wave to Kam, she turned around and started back to the farmhouse.

“Kam?” Holden asked. “Close your eyes and don’t open them until I tell you to.”

Kam didn’t question Holden. He just did as he was told. Holden waved a hand in front of the kid’s face. Convinced Kam wasn’t peeking, he ran to Johanna and scooped her off her feet. She let out a squeal that was sure to have Kam opening his eyes, but Holden didn’t care anymore.

“An hour is too far away,” he whispered in Johanna’s ear. “Can’t wait that long.”

Catching her mouth with his, Holden took what he wanted. His body pulsed with desire when Johanna didn’t hold back. She kissed him as if they were two teenagers in the backseat of a borrowed car and curfew was just moments away.

Kam’s giggling was close. Too close. Reluctantly, Holden pulled his lips from Johanna’s. He loved how dazed she looked. Drunk. Daydreamy. He was certain he looked exactly the same.

“Are we going to build this cabin or what?” Kam pretended to be annoyed, but the boy’s dark eyes gleamed as he pulled on Holden’s tool belt.