Authors: T.R. Lykins
Last Heartbeat
LAST HEARTBEAT
T.R. Lykins
Last Heartbeat
Copyright 2014 T.R. Lykins
Amazon Edition
Editor: Mickey Reed
http://www.mickeyreedediting.com
Cover Design by: Juliana Cabrera @ Jersey Girl Graphics
http://jerseygirlgraphics.wordpress.com/
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Table of Contents
This book is dedicated to
My husband, who shows me how love is supposed to be and loves me the way I am supposed to be loved.
To my two sons for bringing out the motherly love I have for them and showing me that I can love unconditionally.
Prologue
As I lie on my hospital bed, I can barely breathe, even with the oxygen tube turned on high; my heart is on its last beats. I never thought that, as a fifteen-year-old kid, I would be dying. It’s only been eight months since I heard the diagnosis of viral cardiomyopathy heart disorder. My heart was damaged so badly that, on the day of the diagnosis, they only gave me a short time to live and put me on a heart donor list. We all know that heart donor list can take a long time, but time isn’t what I have right now. Both of my parents are with me and won’t leave me because the doctor told them I might not make it through the night. So we are all just waiting for me to die.
The doctor just came back to check on me, but he seems to be happy about something. I’m glad he can still be happy even though I’m barely breathing and my heart has almost stopped beating.
Breathe
I keep telling myself. He is telling my parents something and they are smiling and looking at me. I’m glad they are smiling; I haven’t seen them smile in a while. Maybe he told them a funny joke or something.
Just breathe, Alexia,
I tell myself,
and hang on
. You can do it. The pain is so bad that it is hard to hang on. I really don’t want to die at age fifteen without knowing what the world has to offer. I only just started this life, and now I’m going to die.
As I look up, a group of nurses and more doctors come in. This must mean I’m going to really die in an only a few minutes for sure, since have everyone is doing so much to my body. My doctor, Dr. Wright, comes over and listens to my heart, before he looks at me with a big smile. Dr. Wright tells me that I’m going to surgery; I have a donor heart waiting on me. I stare at him and can’t believe that what he is saying is true. You have to wait for a donor heart with a perfect match for years, so that means it can’t be true. I know I’m in shock. Then they wheel my bed out of the room and into the operating room. Is all I can remember.
Chapter One
Five Years Later
As I’m sitting in the airport, I take a look around. I see all the people and think about the time I wasn’t going to be here. Five years ago, I almost died. I was at my last heartbeat, but someone else died in my place that day. All these people can’t comprehend that life goes on even if you’re not here anymore. They wouldn’t see a young twenty-year-old girl waiting on her flight to go to college and get to live her life for another day. I was lucky the day of my heart transplant, but five years ago, my heart donor wasn’t. I don’t know who that person was, whether boy or girl, but I’m going to take this gift and appreciate it every day that I live. I take one more look around before I board my plane and smile because life goes on, even when we least expect it.
As I board the plane, I decide to make the best of everyday because I know I’m on borrowed time. Who knows if my new donor heart may decide to fail or reject me? The plane I board is really nice because my parents decided that I should fly first class to head off to my future. My parents have always shown me love, and when I was sick, they stayed close by my side. So close that I have been sheltered most of my life, and this is the first time I have been away from them.
I didn’t have too many friends since I became so ill at an early age. The ones I have graduated while I was sick, so I didn’t get to graduate with them. Being in and out of hospitals for so long, I just now finished high school. I know what you’re thinking. I should have tried being homeschooled. I just felt so tired and didn’t have the strength to do it. My new heart is so much better that I feel like I can do anything. This heart must have been from a strong, healthy person.
I sit in my awesome seat and get ready to take flight. A few minutes later, a guy sits down next to me. I don’t say anything to him or look at him at first, but he is being so noisy I look up and see him for the first time. What I see is the most amazing-looking guy I believe I have ever seen. My heart speeds up a little and that sort of worries me a bit. He has dark brown eyes and brown hair that is messy but looks good on his oval-shaped face. He seems tall because his legs are so long. He looks up from what he is doing and smiles so his dimples show.
Wow,
is all I can think and my hands start sweating.
He reaches his hand out and introduces himself. “Hi, my name is Phillip Ryan. Where are you headed off to?”
I shake his hand and hope he doesn’t notice how sweaty it is. “Hi, my name is Alexia Morgan. I’m headed off to college,” I say in a nervous voice. What just happened to my voice? I am never nervous.
Ugh
.
Phillip smiles at me and says, “Wow, small world, because I’m headed off to college too. Where are you going to college?”
I look up at his dimples. “Coastal Carolina University. Where are you going to school?”
He never takes his eyes off me and exclaims, “No way! You can’t be going there too. I have been going there for two years and I’ve never seen you there before. I would have remembered your face if I had.”
“This is my first year there. I hope I am going to like it.” Still looking at him, I see a big smile showing off his perfect teeth.
“I see. You’re a new college girl and I get to show you around. You don’t look like a freshman. Maybe sophomore or junior, are you transferring?” Phillp asks.
This question I knew would be difficult to answer when I got ready to go to college, but I didn’t expect to have to answer it so soon. I look at him, and he’s still waiting for my answer. “I just took a break from school for a couple of years, so yeah, I’m going to be a freshman.” I laugh. “ A twenty-year-old freshman. How funny is that?” I turn away, staring out the window, and think that I’m just really lucky to be a twenty-year-old anything.
I shake it off and turn back to Phillip, who still is looking at me, but he seems a little sad behind his eyes. What made him sad? I was just trying to joke, but now I don’t know what to do. If my parents hadn’t sheltered me and let me out more, maybe I could come up with something witty to see him smile. Ugh! Here goes the best I can come up with.
“So,” I say, “does that make me a freak or what?”
There it is. He is smiling again.
He says, “No, because I also took off a year before college, so that makes both of us freaks I guess. No, really. Sometimes life gets in the way of what we want and we have to take a break before we get to move forward.”
There is still sadness behind what he just said, behind his smile. I can still see it, and wonder what that could mean. What is he hiding that could make his perfect smile still show sadness in his eyes? This boy definitely had something bad to happen to him in the past or is going through something now.
As I’m thinking about what it can possibly be, he starts talking again. “I should be a senior, but I’m going to be a junior. All my friends left me behind when I decided to take a break. That’s okay with me though. They went to off to so many different colleges. When I decided to take a break, I wouldn’t have been able to see them much. You’re going to like CCU. It is so close to the beach and there is so much you can do around the town. When you’re not at college, you will be busy. Maybe we will get to hang out sometime.”
“The beach is why I chose CCU. I love walking and reading on the beach. Hopefully I will find the perfect place to do homework at the beach. Somewhere quiet so I can just relax, watches the waves, and study. Listen to me… I really love the beach, and I can get carried away.” I giggle. What is up with me?
A giggle
? I never giggle. Phillip must really think I took a break because I really am a childish and giggling fool.
Ugh
.
He laughs at me.
Just stop being crazy in front of this boy
.
The next thing he says is, “My brother used to love the beach so much. He would ask my parents to take us every year. They did most if the time and Myrtle Beach was his favorite place. Most people say Florida beaches are the best, but not him. That is why I chose to go to be close to the beach and CCU. I know how you feel about the beach, sand, and waves. You just can’t get enough of the place.”
“Is your brother going to CCU too?” I ask him.
He looks away for what seems like forever and turns back to me with the saddest eyes. “No. He didn’t get to go to college. A drunk driver killed him when he was eighteen. I was with him in the car and I was injured, but I lived and he died. My injuries were really bad too and I had to get my spleen removed. I had to get a transplanted liver, which my brother, who was a donor, gave me. I just felt, like I needed to go where he had planned to go. Once I got there, I realized I loved it. Sometimes I just wonder if I got some of that feeling from him, because apart of him is in me? I know that is crazy. Still, I just wonder. I hadn’t even known he’d signed the donor list on his license. If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here today to keep living on. He did do wonders that day. He saved a lot of people. Someone even got his heart. I hope they appreciated the gift and are taking care of it.” Looking miserable for a minute, he looks over at me and says, “I’m sorry for all that information I never talk about it to anyone. I just met you and out it came. You must think I’m crazy.” He laughs off his bleakness.
I look at him and now know that is what the lonesomeness is in his eyes. I tell him, “You’re not crazy. I can understand everything you just said. You loved your brother and miss him. What he did when he became a donor was awesome. That many lives he saved although his couldn’t be saved is a miracle in itself. It was meant to be, so you could live. And the other people, I’m sure are very grateful too.” I’m afraid to tell him I have a donor heart; for some reason, I don’t. I didn’t want to depress him more. I try to change the subject. “What are you majoring in at CCU?”
