Letters to Katie (35 page)
“Can’t believe it,” he said.
Cora’s curiosity led her to speak. “What?”
“My friend. He’s lost his farm.”
“Oh. Sorry to hear that.”
“That’s not all. He told me he’s also lost his girl, and a few weeks ago he lost his
job.” Sawyer shook his head.
“He’s lost everything?” She frowned, compassion niggling. “How tragic.”
“That’s what I said. But he’s okay with all of it. He said he has God. His family.”
He turned to Cora. “And then he said that’s all that mattered.” Sawyer put the car
in reverse. “You’ll be happy to know we’re heading home now.”
But Cora’s mind was still on the young man. “Will he be okay?”
“He already is.”
She glanced in the side-view mirror as the decrepit farm shrank from view. A memory,
sharp and clear—and one she hadn’t thought of in years—entered her mind. More than
fifty years ago, when she and her husband first married, they had started a business,
a simple print shop in a depressed area of New York City. They were so full of excitement
and promise. Within six months the shop nearly failed.
Then they received an investment tip from a friend and put the rest of their meager
savings toward it. The stock turned out to be a sure thing, and before the year was
over they had sold their shop and started their own investment firm—one of many different
businesses currently under her conglomerate.
A tip from a friend was all it took to change their fortune. She couldn’t remember
if she’d even thanked the man.
When they reached the Bylers’, Cora turned to Sawyer. “What is your friend’s name?”
“Johnny Mullet. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious.”
Johnny ran a bristle brush against the roan’s coat, using long, even strokes. He had
been surprised to see Sawyer yesterday, especially driving a car. But when he said
he was taking his grandmother around Middlefield, it made sense. Johnny prayed everything
would work out with that situation. That God’s will be done.
Last night, as he sat in his empty house, the silence chilled him. He didn’t belong
here, not right now. Not with all the manipulation he’d done to obtain the farm and
keep it. His drive to succeed had caused him to ignore his family and community and
go outside his faith for help. What had that gotten him?
Nothing.
After a restless night, he rose early and started on his chores, his mind buzzing
with thoughts. Not about the farm, but about Katherine.
He missed her, wanted things to be different between them. But she had been right.
He had to strip away his pride, layer by painful layer, and get over himself. The
only way to do that was to focus on what God wanted from him. Not on his own desires—whether
those included Katherine or a farm or anything else.
“Sohn?”
Johnny looked up to see his father coming into the barn. “Hi,” he said, stuffing down
his turmoil. “I’m surprised to see you here.”
“Considering you never invite me over, I can see why.”
The comment stung. But his father was right. Since that first day when he’d showed
his
daed
the property, he hadn’t asked his father to come back. Mostly because he had so little
to show for himself.
“I understand you’ve been having a pretty rough time.” His father picked up an extra
brush. “Mind if I help?”
Johnny shook his head. The two men combed the roan, not saying anything for a few
moments.
“Why didn’t you tell me you lost your job?”
Johnny looked at the ground. He shook the hay off his boots. “I was embarrassed.”
He glanced up at his
daed
. “You were right. I never should have bought this place.”
“Is that why there’s a For Sale sign out front?”
He nodded.
“Ya.”
“I see.” His father stroked one of the horse’s withers. “I didn’t think you would
give up that easily.”
“I don’t really have a choice.”
Might as well confess everything. He told his father about
the Wagners. About their plan for the fake Amish playground. About how he almost gave
in to the temptation, all for the sake of his pride.
Daed’s
shoulders slumped. “
Sohn
, I really wish you’d come to us.”
“You and
Mamm
don’t have the money.”
“We could have gone to anyone in the district. You know that.”
Johnny put the brush back in its holder on the wall. “I wanted to do this myself.
Now I know I can’t.”
“Do you think the place will sell?”
“I’m praying it will. I don’t need the farm. Not right now. I’m starting to see things
clearly for the first time in a long while.” He opened the stall door, and his father
followed him out into the middle of the barn.
“I suppose this new clarity includes Katherine Yoder?”
Daed
asked.
“Let me guess. Mary Beth.” He’d confided in his sister yesterday, shortly after Sawyer
left.
His father chuckled. He had grayed early, and the silvery strands in his beard and
hair made him seem older than his years. “She’s concerned about you. We’ve all been.
But we also respect your right to your privacy.”
“I appreciate that. But there’s nothing private anymore.” He held out his empty hands.
“
Nee
farm,
nee maedel
,
nee
job. I’ve got
nix
.”
“Nice wallowing you’re doing there.”
“It’s not pity,
Daed
. I don’t feel sorry for myself.
Ya
, I’m
upset at some of the foolish stuff I’ve done. But I’m on the path to fixing all of
that.”
“All by yourself?”
“With God’s help.”
His father moved closer to him. “How about some help from your
familye
too?”
“Other than buying this farm or giving me a job, I’m not sure what you could do.”
“We’ll figure something out.” He clasped Johnny’s shoulder. “In the meantime, are
you ready to come home?”
Johnny’s chin twitched. Even after he’d abruptly left home and failed, his father
still wanted him back, welcoming him with open arms. A jagged, broken dam burst inside
of Johnny, the stress of the past month pouring out in a deluge.
“Ya,”
he said, choking back tears. “I’m ready to come home.”
Several days had passed since Katherine had last seen Johnny. Her father hadn’t asked
any questions when she returned home on foot. He had simply given her a look, then
went back to reading his paper. He hadn’t mentioned Johnny again, and neither had
her mother.
She had worked two part-time shifts at Mary Yoder’s, getting back into the swing of
things at work. It seemed that everything was back to normal.
Except nothing felt normal at all. There was a peace in her soul, one she hadn’t felt
in a long time. She didn’t doubt her
decision about Johnny. He didn’t plague her thoughts or make her feel guilty or inconsequential.
Instead, she felt free.
Bekah walked into the living room and plopped onto a chair. “Don’t your eyes get tired
from looking at that crazy pattern?”
Katherine looked up from the partially finished afghan. She was using primary colors
in a zigzag pattern. She had to admit it was bright, not at all what she was used
to making. “I like these colors. And the pattern.” She looked at her sister. “I could
easily say the same thing about you reading books all the time.”
“Won’t have much time to read.”
“Why is that?” Katherine went back to crocheting.
“I got a job.” She grinned. “I’ll be working at Middlefield Cheese.”
“Yum.” Katherine smiled. “When do you start?”
“Next week.” She folded her hands across her lap. “I feel bad for Caleb, though. He’s
still looking for work.” She paused. “So is Johnny, from what I understand.”
Katherine didn’t look up from the afghan. “I’ll pray he finds something soon.”
“Or that he sells his property. No one seems interested in it.”
“Sounds like you’ve been talking to Caleb recently.”
“Ya.”
Bekah didn’t say anything for a long while. “Aren’t you going to ask me how Johnny’s
doing?”
“You just told me.”
“Don’t you want to know if he was asking after you?”
“Nee.”
“Hmmph. He wasn’t, by the way.”
Katherine looped the yarn around her hook. “That’s fine.”
“Are you even listening? Katherine, put that yarn down and
look at me.”
She did as Bekah asked. “I’m looking. And I heard every word.”
“Aren’t you upset?”
“About Johnny? I’m not happy about his financial situation—”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Bekah lifted up her hands. “How can you fall
out of love with him like that?”
“I haven’t fallen out of love.” She picked up the crochet hook again. “A part of me
will always care about Johnny.”
“Give me a break. That’s not true and you know it.”
“Bekah, it’s true. If it’s God’s will for us to be together, He’ll make it happen.
I was trying too hard. Lately, so was Johnny. We have to wait on God. And we’re both
willing to do that.”
“And you accept that?”
Katherine looked at her sister. “
Ya
. I do. For the first time, Bekah, I’m happy. I’m at peace. I’m looking at life and
counting the blessings, not wishing for what was lacking. I’m finally
living
. And it’s a
gut
feeling.”
Bekah nodded. “I never thought I’d hear you say that, at least without Johnny being
a part of it.” She smiled. “But if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.”
“
Danki
, Bekah. Now, you want me to show you how to crochet this stitch?”
“I’d rather read a book. Or plow a field. Or dunk
mei
head in cold water.” She grinned. “Anything but yarn work.”
After Bekah went upstairs, her father came into the room.
He sat across from her. Katherine put her crocheting down. Guess she wouldn’t finish
much of the afghan tonight.
“I heard what you told Bekah,” he said. “Is that true? Are you happy?”
“I am.” She touched her father’s hand. “You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
“I’ll always worry about
mei dochders
. It’s part of
mei
job.” He sighed and looked at Katherine. “Johnny Mullet doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
“I think he does,
Daed
. In fact, I’m sure of it.”
