Authors: J.M. Witt
Letting Go of You
By: J.M. Witt
Copyright 2014 © J.M. Witt
Cover Artist: Kellie Dennis at Book Cover by Design
Photographer: Michael Meadows
Models: Matthew Maguire & Carolina Kenney
Publisher: J.M. Witt Books
All Rights Reserved 2014.
This book may not be reproduced in any form; in whole or in part, without written permission by the author.
All characters and events in this book are fictional. Any similarities to real life people and events are purely coincidental.
right © 2014 J.M. Witt
All Rights Reserved 201
The hardest order of business for an author, except maybe writing the book!
Rick: What can I say that I haven’t already said? I love you.
My children: Please get along and play nicely so mommy can keep writing for her fans!
Melanie: Thank you for being my sounding board from the beginning. We’re half way there.
All my friends: Thank you for taking a leap of faith on me. Your support means the world to me.
Kellie Dennis: WOW. Love working with you. The best is yet to come!
Michael Meadows: Thank you for bending over backwards for me. You’ve given me amazing photos to capture the essence of my characters.
Matt Maguire: I can’t thank you enough for joining me on this journey. My readers love you and your JB3 ways. Though that may change after they read this book. Thank you!
Carolina Kenney: Thank you for stepping in to this with no clue what you were getting into.
Bloggers: There are so many of you to thank. I can’t name names because I’ll just shoot myself in the foot. Without your support I wouldn’t be here today. Thank you.
Betas: My cupcakes are overflowing with sprinkles. I love you girls. Angela, Tracey, Tami, Jasmine, Elaine, Betsy,
Marina, Rebecca, Ava, Tyf, Lauren & Skye. THANK YOU! I’ve so enjoyed this process with you all, more than ever before. Your unwavering support got me through this with a smile on my face. I can’t wait to see you again and to meet those of you I haven’t met yet!
My fans: Wow. That just sounds weird. Thank you a million times over. I hope that my words touch your heart and remind you that love is hard, but it’s worth fighting for.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 Afterglow
~ CASSIDY ~
Calvin was headed home on leave. I hadn’t seen him since my high school graduation the previous summer. He’d been overseas for several months and I had missed my big brother terribly. The couple of years with him gone had been really hard for me. I had become a recluse, for the most part, and focused on school and my part time job. I didn’t have any real friends and that was ok with me. Friends, in my experience, came and went too easily for my taste.
I was parked in the short term parking lot, across the street from the baggage claim area
exit. I watched as another slew of people started flooding out the doors. Squinting, I spotted two guys, in fatigues walking out the door together, with duffle bags over their shoulders. From this distance I couldn’t tell them apart. They were about the same height and build, both blonde and tanned.
Cal brought a friend?
When they crossed the street, and made it to the parking lot, I ran over to Cal and wrapped my arms around his neck. He dropped his bag and swung me in his arms as he croaked out, “You’re choking me Cass.”
“I am not!” He pried my arms off him and pushed me out to look me over.
“Look at you! Dad keeping his gun handy?”
“Shut up.” I knew what he was referring to. I was a late bloomer, not really coming into my own until after high school. I wasn’t gangly anymore, curves were beginning to take their shape on my body, a little too much so for my taste.
“I want you to meet my buddy, Paul. Paul, this is my baby sister Cassidy.”
It was then that I really looked him over. He had a brilliant smile, was clean shaven and was sporting a buzz cut on top of his tall forehead. His eyes were striking. They were a deep blue, unlike mine which some called icy blue. My stomach flipped and I felt a twinge deep in my belly.
“Do I get a hug like that too
?” I was dumbstruck and didn’t know what to say to him.
“Back off dude. Baby sister.” Cal elbowed him before picking up his bag and
then headed for the bed of the truck.
had brought dad’s old Ford pickup, not expecting a third person. Not thinking, I willingly handed Cal the keys before he hopped up in the driver’s seat. I got extremely nervous thinking about having to sit next to Paul. Who was I kidding? He was just being nice. No boy ever showed interest, and I was sure he’d be no different.
~ CASSIDY ~
The day after Dave & Lisa’s wedding.
were pulling into his parents’ house with the biggest Christmas tree we could find, hanging out the back of his truck. The snow was coming down in huge flakes that coated our hair and stuck to our eyelashes. James pulled the tree out of the backend and dragged it to the porch. Managing to lean it against the wall, he pulled a pocketknife out of his coat and cut away the mesh holding the tree together.
“We’ll let her sit out her
e for a few hours to settle.”
“Um James, aren’t you supposed to let the tree settle inside?”
The look on his face was priceless. “Damn, oh well.”
“I mean we used to let it sit outside in the mesh for a while and cut the mesh away when we got it inside. Doesn’t matter.” I smirked at him.
He pulled me to him and kissed me deeply while leaning over me. He had been in the best mood all morning; I didn’t think I had ever seen him at such ease. His spirit was light, heartwarming and I felt invincible believing that I had something to do with it. We were both basking in the afterglow of our confession of love from the previous night.
“Alright you two, lunch is waiting.”
I was giggling and blushing as James set me back on my feet after his father interrupted us. Placing my hand in his as we went inside to the dining room, we had lunch together with his parents. After lunch James and his father hauled the tree into the house while Eva and I enjoyed the show.
“Really son, next time wait until the tree is
the house before removing the netting.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”
James glared at all three of us, rolling his eyes, while we got a good laugh at his expense. Once the tree was in place we started decorating the almost nine foot tree. Mostly James and I decorated it while Eva and J.J. threw out orders.
A couple hours later Eva was dozing off on the couch. J.J. started escorting her to bed, when she chimed in, “James, can you and Cassidy take me?”
Of course James jumped at the opportunity and Eva had me walk along her other side, our arms looped through one another’s. We reached her room and she sat on the bed, removed her shoes and sat up against the headboard.
“James, be a dear and give us girls some privacy.”
Eva had asked to be alone with me and I couldn’t help but wonder if I was getting ready to be interrogated. I looked between Eva and James as he agreed, kissing us both on the cheek, before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
“I’m not going to bite, dear. Come sit down.” She winked at me as she patted a spot on the bed. “I’m sure you know by now that I’m dying.”
I wasn’t sure what to say and Eva just continued talking, saving me from myself.
“He loves you and I’m so happy he’s found you. I’ve waited so long for someone to come along and turn his world upside down.” We shared a chuckle before she continued. “He’s not very expressive with his feelings, tends to hold a lot in and I’m assuming you’ve figured that out by now.”
“If he hasn’t told you
he loves you, please be patient…“
I interrupted her, “He has.”
Eva clasped her hands together in front of her lips and smiled with such great joy. Her eyes grew glassy as she said, “Thank God, thank the heavens for you Cassidy.” She took a deep breath before she said more. “When I’m gone, well, he’s going to push you away and J.J. too. James doesn’t handle death very well at all.”
“Eva, we don’t have to talk about this.”
“Cassidy, you need to understand, he will make it excruciatingly hard for you to hold on to him. It’s what he does and we’ve seen him do it more than once. Promise me, that if you love him, you won’t let go of him, no matter how hard he makes it on you.”
Her words broke my heart and I didn’t know what to say.
I wanted to believe that I could make and keep that promise, believing nothing could tear us apart. “Eva…”
“It’s ok dear. Is there anything you want to know about James? A mother always has, at least a few, blackmail worthy stories to tell!”
I laughed at her words and asked, “What was he like as a child?”
“Oh dear, he was such a trouble maker, but a sweet, sweet boy. He was my little miracle and a Momma’s boy from the very beginning. He loved helping me do chores around the house
, but the second I scolded him for wrong doing he would tear up and apologize.”
She went on and on while we both laughed and cried about James as a little boy. She mentioned that he was eight weeks premature and spent
almost two months in the hospital. “You wouldn’t know it by looking at him,” I said.
“No, you’re right. He caught right up. We tried and tried to have a baby for so long. J.J. and I had agreed to try one more time and that’s when we got James. He filled our lives with so much joy.
” She paused and seemed to be pondering something before she asked, “Do you want children?”
The question was one I wasn’t expecting. “Well, I, yes I want children
, I think so. Not sure when or how many, but yes, I want them, but…”
“But what dear?” She patted my hand and something inside me broke.
I spewed every nasty detail about my own mother and our terrible relationship. All my fears, doubts and misgivings about motherhood and I told them to Eva. “I just don’t know if I have it in me to be a good mom.”
She hugged me then and said, “Honey, you’re a wonderful person. I’ve spent enough time with you and listened to James talk about you. You’ll be a great mother if that’s what you want to be. Don’t assume that your mother’s mistakes will be yours too.”
I felt so vulnerable, yet after telling her my fears it was like they weren’t burdening me anymore. I hadn’t realized how desperately I needed to get that off my chest. Eva went on and on assuring me it would all be ok. She told me that James wanted kids—it was something he and I had yet to discuss—before she grew very weary.
“I should let you rest. Thank you so much for talking with me.”
“Anytime dear. Thank you for loving my boy. Come by next week and we can chat some more, maybe have lunch.
“I’d really like that.” I hugged her again before leaving the room.
I made my way down the hall and stepped into a spare bathroom. I checked myself in the mirror, my eyes were a little red and I looked like I had been crying. I splashed some cool water on my face, patted it dry and then went to exit the bathroom.
“There you are!” James swooped into the bathroom closing the door behind him. He was leaning down meeting my eyes
, with his arms wrapped around me when his expression changed. “Hey, what’s wrong, baby?”
“Nothing, I’m good.” I smiled up at him as he pressed his forehead to mine.
“You’re sure?” Confirming, he leaned in and kissed me quickly before continuing. “Listen, it’s not too late, are you up for going to the party tonight?”
elicited my attention and sent my adrenaline racing. “Yes! That sounds like a great distraction!”
“Great. Do you have everything you need? If so we can get ready at the penthouse, it’s closer to the party venue.” The testosterone was radiating off of him when he whispered in my ear, “I can’t wait to finally see you in that purple corset.”
He sucked on my ear and I couldn’t suppress the shudder that ran through me. “What are you going to wear?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see!” At that he pulled me out of the bathroom
and we said our goodbyes to his father and made our way to his penthouse.
When we got in his truck he started explaining a few things to me. “You’ll need to stay close to me and follow my lead.” He kissed my knuckles as he continued driving toward the hotel.
“Is it like ‘Eyes Wide Shut’? You’ll whisper Fidelio and then endless possibilities will be shown to us?”
He chuckled at me. “No, not Fidelio, but there will be endless possibilities. Like I said before; some like pain, some like orgies, and some like it all to be on display for other people’s pleasure.” He looked to me then as he knew I was wondering if he’d want to do something with me publically. “I typically like to keep my pleasure private.” He winked as we pulled into the hotel garage.
“Do you have any special requests of me?”
Taking in my appearance he leaned in and pulled on my hair, “In a ponytail, easier to pull that way.” Goosebumps covered my neck and shoulders at his words. He pulled my ear into his mouth before releasing me and getting out of the truck. Pulling open my door, he helped me down and pulled me tight against him. “It’ll be my mission to make you come so fucking hard tonight. Are you ready?”
His hand cupped my ass as his groin pressed into my lower belly. I couldn’t speak, simply nodded and smiled. I was more than ready.
I looked myself over in the mirror one last time. James had requested I pull my hair up into a ponytail, and I happily obliged. I put on some makeup and made my eyes darker and heavier than my normal routine, but left my lips light and glossy. I felt self-conscious in the corset and shorts, but James had assured me I’d be over dressed compared to some. He had tied it for me before I entered the bathroom to do my hair and makeup.
the bathroom door, finished getting ready, I walked into the bedroom. James stood by the window and turned to me when he heard the door open. Once he faced me I took in his appearance and had to blink a few times to take him in.
“Fucking hell.” He was wearing his worn, black biker boots, and
plain jeans. The pants clung to him perfectly and I could essentially see the outline of his package. He hadn’t yet put on his black tank top, but I knew that it would look like it was painted on, and my favorite part was that his hair was down. He rarely left it down in public.
“Fucking hell is right. Christ, Cassidy, I may not survive the drive.” Adjusting myself she smiled sweetly as we devoured each other with our eyes.
She wore her black
army boots and black fishnet stockings that disappeared under her black shorts. I motioned my hand for her to turn around, and as she did I groaned looking at her fantastic ass. The corset was low-cut in the back and held her breasts perfectly in front as they overflowed ever so slightly.
“Here, put this on before I rip you out of those clothes.” I held up a
long camel colored wool coat for her.
“Where did you get this?” She was referring to the coat as I slipped it up her arms.
“You need a little more coverage than your coat offers. We’ll have to do some walking outside and I don’t want you freezing.”
“Thank you.” She kissed my cheek and I grabbed her hand pulling her out of the bedroom
. If we stayed in there a second longer I’d drop her to the floor and fuck her like my cock was begging me to do.
After parking in the public lot
, we started the three block walk as the snow fell on us. It was after nine p.m. and the streets were buzzing with shoppers who were loaded with their purchases. I pulled her down a back alley as she eyed me suspiciously.
As we walked down the long dark alley, for longer than I knew she was comfortable with, the sound of techno rock started to fill the air. I pulled the heavy steel door open as we were immediately cast into darkness. We followed the short corridor before coming face to face with one of the bouncers.
He let us pass after
I exchanged a few words with him, though the music was so loud I knew Cassidy didn’t hear anything we said. Coming to the coat room we checked our coats while I put the tickets in my wallet. A shiver passed over Cassidy and I rubbed her naked shoulders as I leaned into her ear saying, “Don’t worry, once we’re inside you won’t be cold anymore.”
She confirmed that she heard me
then we walked down another long hall as the music became more distinct.
by Rob Zombie
was blaring overhead. We stepped through a double doorway that was draped in silver beads. I pulled her to a corner, placing her back to my chest
, holding her shoulders as I let her take in the club dance floor that was laid out in front of her.