Life-After (2 page)

I had seen many things during the last two years. As we learned that our enemy had no established end game beyond human termination many people lost all hope. There were many people who turned to suicide when the enemy approached their town. They would kill everyone and burn the buildings and the land to the ground. It was if they were erasing our existence from the planet. Watching city after city fall, people could not turn to anything to help them deal with reality. Hope and faith were quickly cast aside as survival became the only focus.

As I walked through the charred remains of Salvation Park, I thought back on my own loss of hope. There was no time that I thought of suicide, even once I realized my wife would be left outside to die. To take my own life after my wife had hers stolen from her would be an affront to her memory. I would never take my own life, but I would gladly give it away in battle.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of something scurrying in the shadows. My mind could not make out what it was. It was small, but ran on two legs, not an animal. With my hands gripped tightly around my riffle I shined its light toward the corner of a building. The footsteps came to a quick stop just outside the light. As I moved the beam across the rubble I saw it duck beneath the fallen bricks.

I yelled for it to step into the light. Receiving no response I slowly moved toward its position. By then I was certain it was not one of them, however, I had learned soon after we were freed from the bunker than the enemy can come from within as well. Without hope or faith and the rule of law only being to survive, humans can quickly revert back to the animals they once were. Unfortunately, in my time I had to kill many of my own kind because of this.

I moved closer and yelled once again this time adding the warning that I was armed. It quickly ran from the rubble. A less experienced solider would have fired, but I could tell by its movements that it was fleeing in terror. Regardless, I could not allow an unknown person to escape. Firing my weapon it froze in place. Shining my light upon it my eyes widened. A child no older than ten stood before me. She stared at me with eyes like a frightened cat. Covered in cuts and bruises the child was seriously malnourished, her rags providing no protection from the increasingly cold night.

Even though it was a child I could not lower my weapon. Her eyes looked into mine as if she was trying to understand what she was seeing. This was not a new sight, but it had been a long time since I had seen a child not in the hospital or the morgue. I spoke softer, telling her that I was a soldier and not to move. While it was clear she had no weapons on her person often people would use children as decoys for attacks. Slowly I made my way towards her. There would not be much I could do for her except take her to the nearest shelter, but it would be better than to remain there.

Taking careful steps, the closer I got to her the lower my gun went. Just a few feet from her I did something I had not done in nearly two years, I smiled. She tiled her head. It reminded me of my golden retriever as a child. Then in an instant a look of panic shot across her face. My senses had dulled after all I quickly realized. I only heard it as it flew by the side of my head. The grenade casing struck the ground directly between the both of us, the blast knocking us apart. This was an ambush, not by a human, but by them.

The heat burned my flesh, the light blinded me. The forced slammed my body against the ground. My body ached, my ears rung, I was completely helpless. I cursed at myself for dropping my guard my thoughts turned to the little girl. I forced my eyes open and through blurred vision, I could see her lying on the ground several feet from me. I could not tell if she was unconscious or dead. Unable to move my body my hearing slowly returned to the sound of metal footfalls approaching me.

Through the settling dust the environmental suit stood over me. My eyes searched the ground around me for my weapon but it was out of reach. For many it was frustrating to never see the eyes of your enemy. They never spoke, the only sound came from their suits. I could do nothing but stare up at its visor. Slowly it lowered its head, I did not know what it was doing until it turned and walked away. It was analyzing me and by walking away determined that I was not a threat.

This was not abnormal, often if they did not kill you immediately they would continue attacking those who posed a threat before returning to finish you off. What was abnormal that night was that it made its way toward the little girl. Still motionless there was no reason for it to leave me and approach her. Though my body was still paralyzed, anger surged through me as I forced my head from the ground.

I screamed at it trying to draw its attention. We did not know if it understood our language but I could not let it harm that girl. It paid me no mind and stood over the girl’s lifeless body as if studying it. Slowly it raised its hand over the girl, I began screaming again at the top of my lungs, I knew what would happen next. I had seen it before, but the stories came long before I witnessed it for myself. The enemy did not like to leave the bodies of the dead, those that one would see dying or dead were usually killed in an explosion or a crash, not from direct contact with the enemy.

With every ounce of strength left in me I tried to move toward the girl, but I would not reach her in time. A green light shined from the palm of its hand, with a flicker the light fired down engulfing the girl’s body. She did not make a sound as her body disintegrated. I had see death countless times, but this one did something to me. I could see my wife’s face within hers. My eyes clenched together, a tear rolled down the side of my face.

There was no odor or remains, nothing was left of the girl’s body, it was as if she never existed. It turned and slowly walked toward me, I was next. I wondered if it wanted me to see her die. Though we never saw any emotion in the enemy even with the death of its comrades, we had to believe they could feel pain, loss. There has to be an emotion to war, if you cannot feel anything when you take a life then you have no business taking it. If nothing else, we needed to believe there was some reason for them attacking us. It not only made it easier to continue fighting, but it gave us a strange sense of meaning. We could never except that we were just vermin to be exterminated.

My remaining energy was draining from my body. I refused to lose consciousness. I wanted to see my end coming. I had failed to save the girl. I would not fail to die like a soldier. My hand slowly crept up the side of my body. Across my chest five grenades sat attached to a dead man’s pin. We called in Final Vengeance. Once the stories of our enemies’ tactics spread across the core we began outfitting everyone with five grenades attached to a single pull pin. You could detach each grenade separately and use them in battle or if you were seriously injured, they served a secondary purpose.

Fight or die was not just a saying. It was who we were and what we did. One way or another if we became injured we would end up dead. No one wanted to die in a field hospital no matter how good Alpha Medical doctors were they could not save many. It was Fabian Vegan that first used Final Vengeance. It was after his death we learned that five grenades could do the job. Since then many have preformed Final Vengeance and every one of their names was recorded. As it stood over me I was ready to join them.

As it raised its hand over me my thoughts turned to my wife. The green light from its hand shined across my face, the time was at hand. There were no final words. I just briefly closed my eyes to see her face one last time. My hand gripped the pin and with a final motion I pulled it. It did not react to the pins falling from the grenades, it did not matter soon both it and I would be dead. I did not know what would come next. I had seen enough. All I wanted to do is see the face of my beloved Clara and apologize that I could not have avenged her more.

1

It was not taboo to talk about death in the service. From day one we were told the war would bring nothing but death and that we should be prepared to embrace it. During the final days of the war my squad would joke about how dying before the treaty was signed would be a horrible twist of fate. One of the younger privates did not find the jokes funny. The others just laughed at him, but I found myself thinking about how he must have felt.

Seven days later it was I holding him in my arms feeling the warmth of his blood running through my fingers. No one was laughing then, no one else was there. Our convoy was attacked on its way back to base. I only survived because I was sitting behind our hover seeker. Its reinforced armor protected me. Davis was not so lucky. Even as I dragged his body from the wreckage I knew he would not make it, but I would not have left him there.

His eyes stared up to me with a question. As he began to speak, I wanted to tell him to be quiet, to save his strength. However, I knew whatever he was about to say was most likely to be his last words. I strained to listen. He spoke softly with a gurgle. At first I believed he was going to ask me to deliver a message to his family, but what he asked should not have surprised me.

He wanted to know what death was like. Perhaps he believed because of my time in the field I had some insight. I had nothing to tell him. I had seen death hundreds of times even in my short tour, but any answer I could give him would have served no purpose. I lied to him. I told him you would feel cold at first, but then slowly feel a warmth come over you. He tried to smile pleased with my words so I continued. I told him from the darkness you would see a white light, but it would not be blinding. The light would be soft and would guide him home to all the loved ones he had lost.

I did not believe any of it. As I laid there with my eyes closed I could still feel the coldness of the ground beneath me. Time seamed to freeze and my thoughts of Clara stopped as I wondered what had happened. My first question to myself was did the explosives fail? Even so, I thought if that was the case then the enemy’s blast would have finished me. I did not want to open my eyes. I did not want to give it the satisfaction of looking into them. There was something abnormal. Though I could feel the ground I could not smell the charred remains of the city around me.

I could not wait any longer. I slowly inched my eyes open expecting to see it hovering over me, waiting. What I opened my eyes to was nothing, complete darkness. It was then that I realized the coldness surrounding me had faded. The pain from the blast was wiped from my body and though I could still feel my presence I could feel nothing else. I had to ponder, was I dead or perhaps in a coma?

The military provided a wide variety of religious outlets for its service men. I never truly believed in any specific religion, but I was not foolish enough to just dismiss it as fantasy. Many of the men and women in my unit believed in the Trinity. They believed there was a link between animal, man and God though his life energy that flowed through all living things. My scout, Luis spoke to me at length about it. He believed that everything we were existed in this life energy or what some called a soul. I remember him telling me that it could never be destroyed and would pass on to the afterlife to be rejoined with God.

I listened because that was what you did when someone spoke to you. While I did not push his words away I did not give it much though either. Believing in an afterlife when the chances you were going to die were high was almost par for the course in the military. Even when the meteor was discovered, I did not turn toward God for help. Then again I did not turn to the scientists either. The only time I considered the possibility of an afterlife was after Clara died. I had to believe. To think that her light was extinguished to never shine again would be too much to bear. I fought to avenge her and a part of me hoped I would see her again.

As I sat up I almost expected to awaken to discover this was all a dream. I also thought of the possibility that I was captured by the enemy, but there was no evidence that they ever took prisoners. There was no way to tell where I was. There was no light anywhere, in fact I could not even feel the air and yet I could breathe normally. It was the kind of darkness you would experience in your nightmares. It was thick and yet with no specific texture or feeling to it. The darkness surrounded me. It felt as if it was closing in around me.

My thoughts were all I had and once again they turned to death and the afterlife. It was my grandfather that told me that at the moment of your death was the time your life came under review. He said it was a time to look back on your life and see what you have accomplished and what was left undone. I wondered if that was what I was experiencing. Was I to reflect on my life and if so to what purpose? I told Davis that you would see your loved ones when you died. A self-evaluating man would say that I had said that because I hoped it was true. Standing there in the darkness if I was to reflect it would only be on Clara.

After thinking about her daily, seeing her face whenever I closed my eyes, I thought back on a time when I was too timid to ask her to marry me. On the battlefield I took charge and kept my fear in check, but when it came to expressing my feelings for the woman I loved I was left speechless. With every fiber of my being I wanted to propose to her, to let her know I wanted to be with her forever. A part of me almost turned away. I could not have imagined my life without her and I almost walked away. Finally after far too much procrastinating I gathered to courage to ask for her hand.

As my thoughts about Clara continued the darkness surrounding me began to fade. Slowly, as if coming out of a coma I could hear the distance sounds of people talking. At first I believed I was awaking from whatever had happened to me, but as the darkness faded further and the voices became clearer I soon recognized where I was. It was not just the sounds that were familiar, I could smell it. The distinct smell of food permeated from all around me. I did not dare to rub my eyes even as impossible as the image before me seemed. There from total darkness a world from my past was coming into view.