Life's Perfect Plan (The Life Series) (2 page)

I put my arms around his neck and bring him to my lips. We kiss long and hard. He puts his hand under my blouse and rubs my stomach. My hands are in his hair trying to pull him closer into me. I need us to be even closer. He yanks my blouse up and over my head, along with my bra. Grant kisses my neck, then gives me gentle kisses along my collarbone, down my chest to my breast where he starts to suck and tug my nipples. With his right hand he fondles my left breast; he tugs and pinches my nipple with his finger and thumb. Shocks of electricity go straight to my core. “Grant, please I need you … please make love to me.” Pushing himself up, he sits back on his heels, licks his lips. He scoots back from sitting between my thighs. He removes my belt, opens the button on my slacks, pulls my slacks off and throws them on the floor. He puts his thumbs in the waist of my black lace panties and leisurely pulls them down. He just gazes at me, full of love in his eyes. I love this man more than anything, I love him more than any future children we may or may not have. I look into those coffee colored eyes and appreciate he is my family. I get lost in the taste of his mouth, the slide and thrust of his tongue, and the sensation of his hands on my body. He stands up and gets completely naked in front of me. Leaning back down on top of me I feel his arousal pressed against my thigh. I whimper and plead. I need him. “Please Grant … I need you.”

He fills me in one hard, yet gentle thrust. I moan into his neck, the intense feeling was surreal. In that moment I felt alive, and normal. We made love. The type of love that we haven’t made in a long time. The type of love that has brought us back to where we should be.

The next morning we wake up entangled with each other. “Good Morning, my sweetness. How did you sleep?” Grant says is his morning voice.

“I was thinking, about what we talked about.”

“Beth, can we give it a rest for a few days? We just talked not even ten hours ago about this.”

“Love, just listen and then I won’t bring this up for a long time.” I roll completely onto him, and place his head in between my hands. “Listen … One more time. All I ask is we give IVF one more time and then we will look into other sources if it doesn’t work out. Just, one more time and who knows maybe by the end of the year we will be pregnant?”

He places his hands on either side of my cheeks. Licking his lips, “Sweetheart, I would do this over and over, but it is you that I worry about. Your body and mind go through so much stress. I just want a break from it all. I am all for one more time, as long as you promise we are done for a while. We can practice more on the old fashion way of getting pregnant.” He says while wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“I promise, this is our last time … for a while.”

It’s Tuesday morning and I’m standing against the kitchen counter waiting for the coffee to brew. I am looking through my phone calendar of my day’s itinerary. I have to go in for blood work. After our talk in August, Grant agreed to one more procedure. I’ve been on Lupron to get my ovulation on track. I have a good feeling about this round. I feel better, Grant and I couldn’t be happier in our marriage. He even seems happier this round. I hear Grant coming down the hall. He approaches me, grabs my waist and pulls me into him with a long and sensual kiss. He tastes of mint toothpaste.

“Last night was amazing, sweetheart. Maybe we can have a repeat?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me. I push him back because I want to look up at him. I’m only 5’4, whereas he is 6 ft. “Not tonight, love, my period has visited. I wouldn’t mind messing around with you though.” I whisper to him as I slowly lick the side of his neck.

“We are getting close to the wire, huh?” Grant says, as he kisses my forehead.

“It’s getting there, maybe another two weeks and I’ll be having the transfer. Hopefully in a month we will find out that we are parents.”

“Sweetheart, one step at a time here, let’s get through today and worry about tomorrow when it arrives.” Grant reassures me to stay focused on the present and not worry about the future. I notice that he takes out his phone and starts looking at it. I watch as he pulls his top lip in and bites it. This is his thinking expression.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him as I pour creamer in my coffee. “Nothing, I’m just counting down the days and all this will be happening around the time I go to Daytona. I just need to figure out what to do. I don’t want to let you down or the guys.”

We live in Central Florida. Every year Grant, his best friend Sean, and a few others go to Daytona for Bike Week and Biketoberfest for the weekend. I’ve never been. I don’t see the fuss over a bunch of people riding their bikes around a crowded city. Plus, it gives him his break, and some guy time. With my insecurities, I can’t be around some of those biker babes. Grant has always been my “bad boy” man. He sure has the looks for it. He’s tall, lean, dark shoulder length hair, dark eyes, always has a five o’clock shadow, tattoos, and lives every day as an adventure. He is equipped for speed, always has to go, and go fast. These are the only fears I have when he is gone, because I know what he likes to do, and what he is capable of doing. He might be thirty, but once a bike is between his legs he acts like a stupid eighteen year old.

I walk towards him, bringing his cup of coffee to him. “You sir, need to take your own advice.” I sarcastically say to him as I kiss him on the cheek. Walking back to the fridge I tell him not to worry. “Keep your plans for your motorcycle trip, I am sure everything will work out around the transfer and if you aren’t there. I have Ella or Kate who can take me. I’ve done this before; it’s not that big of a deal.”

Within two strides Grant has his arms around my waist and facing me. “Dammit, Beth it is a big deal. This is our last time and I want to be there for you. We do this together all the way through. I don’t care about the stupid bike trip. I love you and this is more important.” He leans down and kisses me. He picks me up and places me on the counter. Standing between my legs, he has me wrapped in his lean arms. Our kiss is intense and the hold he has on me is even more powerful. We stay embraced and kiss for what seems like minutes. He pulls away and his chocolate covered eyes look into mine. He stares, thinking of what to say. “Sweetheart, I love you and don’t ever think that just because I don’t have a physical part in this baby making process. That I don’t think it’s a big deal. It’s a huge deal, we are making a baby. Our lives will be forever changed. I’m by your side through all of it.” He kisses me again and pulls me off the counter.

I grab my things and head for the door. “Now, let’s get to work before the boss kicks my ass!” I say with a giggle to him.

“There is a lot more that I would like to do with that ass then kick it, sweetheart!” Grant snorts.

I put in a few hours at work, before I head to the doctor’s office. I have blood work taken and was given an ultrasound. I wait to hear back from the doctor and go on from there with the drugs. After my appointment I return to my office to see a huge, beautiful bouquet of pink roses, blue hydrangeas, and baby’s breath. There is a card leaning against the crystal vase. Seeing that it is in Grant’s handwriting, I open the card and read it
.

Just know that I love you. I have been thinking about you. You will be an excellent mother and our baby will be as lucky as I am having you in my life. I love you!

That man is the sweetest and caring man ever.

Friday morning comes and I get a call from Dr. Wilson’s office.

He has been the one that has been handling our IVF procedures. When our insurances changed last year, my best friend Ella referred me to Dr. Alexander. Ella is an OB/GYN nurse in his office. She said he is great, and has great contacts with doctors in the infertility field. Dr. Alexander referred us to Dr. Wilson. Dr. Wilson is a wonderful older gentleman. He has been doing this for decades with a lot of success! He has a great reputation of getting 85% of his patients pregnant. I hope I am not the other 15%. I just pray that third time is a charm! My desk phone starts to ring and I pick it up, “This is Elizabeth how may I help you?”

“Hi Elizabeth, this is Lucy from Dr. Wilson’s office. I have your test results. Everything came back great and Dr. Wilson wants to start you on Clomid. Can you come in this afternoon?” Looking at my calendar I see that I am free. “Yes, Lucy, put me down I will be there this afternoon.” I hang up the call and walk towards Grant’s office.

His door is open which means for me to enter, but he is busy typing away on his computer. Working with him has been the best decision I could have ever made. I really enjoy the closeness of being with him all the time. I couldn’t imagine working eight to ten hours away from him. Here I have the leisure to go and see him whenever I want, unless he is in court.

I tap on the door, he looks up to me with those puppy dogs eyes and gives me the best smile. “Hey good looking, what’s up?”

Walking to his chair, he scoots away from his desk to make room for me to sit on his lap. Sitting down he gives me a kiss. “I just got a call from Dr. Wilson’s office. All my tests came back, and everything is good. I go in this afternoon to get my Clomid shots.”

“Are you okay will all this?” He gives me such a worried look.

“It’s just a Déjà Vu moment. That we’ve been here and done this and I’m scared we will fail again. We can’t fail, again.”

With his thumbs he wipes away the tears that are slowly falling down my face. “Sweetheart, we have talked about this a thousand times. Just because we have done this song and dance before, doesn’t mean it’s going to go down like it did before. Have faith, sweetness. I promise you, you will be a mom!”

“Thank you, love. I know this will be different. Nerves just got the best of me.” With that I lean in and give him a kiss. “I’m leaving here around 3:00 p.m. Do you want to come, then we can catch dinner, or are you busy?” I quietly say as I nuzzle into his neck.

“Never too busy for you sweetheart, I’ll be there.” I get up from his lap and try to finish my work for the remaining of the day.

On Monday I went back to the doctor. I’ve been on two injections of Clomid two times a day for the last ten days now. I went in for my hCG shot. Today, it is Wednesday; the sun hasn’t even risen yet. I sit at the kitchen table drinking my coffee and silently praying for a great and blessed day. I listen to our dogs snore away as they are spread out on the sofas. I feel my heart is in rhythm with the kitchen clock. I’m so nervous and so scared. Just thinking that this is the final step to becoming parents scares the hell out of me. I can’t, and won’t go through adoption. Not, that I wouldn’t love a non-biological child any less, I just don’t want to jump through all those hoops. I feel if I wasn’t a lawyer and didn’t deal with Family Law and see what these clients go through, than I would have jumped head first into adoption. Sitting at the table and slowly sipping my coffee, I hear Grant walking into the kitchen.

“Good Morning, Beth. Why are you up so early?” He kisses the top of my head as he walks towards the coffee maker. Watching him lean against the counters in his black boxer briefs and his bed head, I know that I am extremely blessed to just have this man in my life. He pulls the chair out next to me, and slides the chair closer; leaning into me he kisses my bare shoulder. “Sweetheart, talk to me.” He whispers against my skin.

“It’s just nerves Grant, I’ll be okay when this is all said and done.” I stand up and walk to the kitchen to place my cup in the sink when I walk back to the table I stop in front of him. “Want to take a shower with me?” I say as I slowly start to pull my tank top over my head.

“Hell yeah!” I run towards our room laughing and squealing because I know if he catches me I am in trouble. Before I even make it to our bedroom door he has scooped me up and lifted me over his shoulders. I laugh the whole way into the shower.

We are sitting in Dr. Wilson’s office where we both have appointments. I with the egg retrievals and Grant with his intimate moment with a plastic cup. He can’t stand this part, and I knew he was going to be tense. I wanted him to go in relaxed so the outcome would be a good one. Last night while he was in the shower I decided to take some naked pictures of myself.