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Authors: Nick Griffiths

Looking for Mrs Dextrose

BOOK: Looking for Mrs Dextrose
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Legend Press Ltd, 2 London Wall Buildings,
London EC2M 5UU
[email protected]

Contents © Nick Griffiths 2010

The right of the above author to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patent Act 1988.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data available.

ISBN 978-1-9077564-9-8
eISBN 978-1-9082483-1-2

All characters, other than those clearly in the public domain, and place names, other than those well-established such as towns and cities, are fictitious and any
resemblance is purely coincidental.

Set in Times
Printed by CPI Books, UK.

Cover designed by Gudrun Jobst

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher. Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to
criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.


‘IF you like
Alice in Wonderland
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
then you will love
Looking for Mrs Dextrose
. Nick Griffiths latest novel combines
the fantasy of Carroll with the grime of Thompson to make something special, if slightly nauseating.’

Julie Shennan, Strathclyde Telegraph

‘By the end of the book I had laughed, had a little lip quiver, checked under the bed for errant puppets and been put off my food twice – a feat very few novels can
achieve… For pure escapism, for belly laughs, for twists and turns,
Looking for Mrs Dextrose
is the ideal read.’

Caroline Tecks, The Cambridge Student

‘Charming and witty, packed with sharp observations and banter… like a literary version of
The Mighty Boosh

Tom Fordy, St Mary’s University

‘I found myself snorting with laughter…clever, slick and enticing.’

Iyanu Onalaja, Spaghetti Junction, Birmingham City University

‘Amazingly well-written dialogue… every page reeks of invention.’

Libby Holderness, Reading University

‘Looking for Mrs Dextrose
us puerile, at times revolting, and utterly unmissable… The book’s spectacular energy speaks for itself and your life
won’t feel complete without it.’

Carol Williamson, Fuse magazine, Sheffield University

‘For the first time in my life, I found myself wanting to punch a book. I then proceeded to punch the book…’

Paul Dunn, Le Nurb, Brunel University

‘Fluidly written, filled with un-literary references and cheap gags… It ends up being a comedy in spite of itself.’

Alistair Todd, The Courier, Aberdeen University

‘Griffiths is true to form… A masterpiece of bizarre, expect-the-unexpected type writing which has been compared to Douglas Adams and maybe hints of Ben Elton. I
can’t wait for the third instalment of the Dextrose saga,’

Rob McDade, Borders Australia

‘I don’t think anyone would take Nick Griffiths for forty-five. I am sure that most people would take him for at least seven or eight years younger…I found
him rather dishy.’

C. Richardson

‘If you like the absurd and the unpredictable, you'll like this book. I read this book whilst commuting and… was pretty horrified when a snort escaped from my face
whilst reading Nick Griffiths’ work of comic genius.’

Charlotte Chase,


‘Funny, hilarious even… Can't wait for the sequel.’

Matthew Reid, goodreads

‘Highly imaginative, entertaining and addictive.’

Jo Burn, Facebook

“If Michael Palin had an insane lovechild…”

Magda McHugh, Facebook

‘Minking fantastic! I won't beat about the bush – you need to buy this book. Think of a tryst between Terry Pratchett, Bill Bryson and
The Hitchhiker's Guide To
The Galaxy

Martyn Goodman, Facebook

‘For a rather irreverent, but silly, banal outing, this might just be a work of genius. Oh and it is HIGHLY comic – his use of language and weird descriptions
reminded me of Tibor Fischer. Couldn't recommend it more.’

Andy Walker, Facebook

‘Wow – this is the kind of book I'd love to be able to write. Surreal crazy characters, odd events and make-believe but somehow familiar places! The interludes from
the Dextrose text are about as snigger-inducingly funny as a deep rolling fart in church!’

Graham Sedge, Facebook

‘Can I please spend all my holidays in High Yawl!’

Debbie McGlashan, Facebook

‘I was hooked from the start. Beware reading this in public if you are of a sensitive disposition - you will laugh out loud. A lot.”’

Laura Gahan, Amazon

‘Comfortably one of the most poorly written books I've ever read.’

Dick Dashwood, Amazon

In the Footsteps of
…. is one of the most entertaining and funny books I've read since finishing my last Douglas Adams.’

Lee Duddell, Amazon

‘One of the most imaginative and original writers I have come across in a long time. Definitely buy this book. You will love it.’

Nicky Beards, Amazon

‘The outward silliness is underpinned with a razor sharp intelligence that raises this novel way above an enjoyable but transient read to an intellectually challenging
piece of work. And it's funny! Properly funny, laugh-out-loud-on-a-train funny – people may move away from you on public transport, but you won't care.’

Mairi-Claire, Amazon

‘This book is hilarious – full of grotesque characterizations, surreal situations and lots of hidden references to decipher. It had me laughing out loud, and I
cannot wait for the sequel.’

Vicki, Amazon

‘Accessible, clever and downright funny. Immerse yourself in an intelligent and humorous novel and enjoy the ride. Just be Nick Griffiths warned that life may be a little
dull afterwards.’

A Copson, Amazon

‘I challenge anyone to read this book and not enjoy it.’

Daniel Parsons, Amazon

‘His whole writing style and voice is brilliant! Witty and entertaining, this unique book will have you laughing out loud. I will be recommending it far and

EC Alexander, Amazon

‘A really fun, funny book which is both well-written and entertaining (fancy…!).’

JP Clarkson, Amazon

‘The one downside? The twist in the last chapter was cringe-worthy. But the first 23 chapters are lots of fun.’

R Selby, Amazon

‘I smiled all the way through.’

Colin, Amazon

Also by Nick Griffiths:

In the Footsteps of Harrison Dextrose

(Legend Press)

Who Goes There
(Legend Press)

Dalek I Loved You


For Sinead, a mindful wife


Gossips wine bar, Mlwlw, Saturday, 1.45am:

Gossips, Saturday, 12.30pm:

Shaman’s hut, Saturday, 1.10pm:

Outside the Shaman’s hut, Saturday, 2.20pm:

Gossips, Saturday, 3.30pm:

Gossips, Monday, during the ‘wee hours’:

Gossips guest room, Monday, 10.20am:

Gossips, Monday, 10.25am:

En route to the lost tribe, Monday, 2.40pm:

Village guest hut, Monday, 5.45pm:

Q’tse village, Monday, 5.50pm:

Q’tse village feast, Monday, 6.25pm:

Q’tse village feast, Monday, 10pm:

Q’tse village feast, Monday, 10.45pm:

Q’tse village guest hut, Sunday, 11.50pm:

Somewhere outside Q’tse village, Monday, midnight:



Heading for Gossips, Monday, noon:

Gossips, Monday, 1.40pm:

Gossips, Monday, 2.55pm:

Gossips, Monday, 3.55pm:

Outside Gossips, Monday, 4.30pm:

On the road from Mlwlw, Monday, 5.30pm:

Nameless Highway, Monday, 6.40pm:

Nameless Highway, Monday, 7pm:

Nameless Highway, Monday, 9.40pm:

Nameless Highway, 10.40pm:

Socks ‘N’ Sandals, Monday, 10.55pm:

Socks ‘N’ Sandals, Tuesday, 12.10am:

Inside Socks ‘N’ Sandals toilet, Tuesday, 12.45am:


Outside Socks ‘N’ Sandals, Tuesday, 6.45am:

Nameless Highway, Tuesday, 9am:

Nameless Highway, Tuesday, 10.25am:

Nameless Highway, Tuesday 11.33am:

Nameless Highway, Tuesday, noon:

Nameless Highway, Tuesday, 1.35pm:

BOOK: Looking for Mrs Dextrose
7.05Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

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