Love Online (Truly Yours Digital Editions) (6 page)

Jess cleared her throat and readjusted her frame against the carved chair back, but a familiar presence settled over her, prompting her to action more than offering comfort.

There’s no sin in praying and reading the Word in my room.
Jess flipped through the Bible pages, even knowing the futility of looking busy to impress God.
Why can’t I sit here and relax?

No response.

“Okay, Lord. I don’t know why You want me there, but—” Jess snapped the Bible closed, stood to her feet, and headed for the shower.

Turning the handle to the max, she crossed her arms, waiting for the miracle she knew wouldn’t come—hot water. She sighed and, armed with a deep breath, eased one foot into the tub. Her skin bloomed with goose bumps as she hopped in the rest of the way, gasping as the icy spray numbed her skin.

The absurdity of her predicament hit. She got up every morning to do battle with an absentee landlord, which necessitated talking to herself and included a strong desire to pummel her next-door neighbor.

Jess flicked her gaze to the wall. Poor guy. Flipping his key chain as he whistled his way to the elevator, he was most likely oblivious to her existence—let alone the fact that her bath time included plotting the demise of his lease.

“What’s wrong with me?” Listening for the Lord’s still, small voice, her own dizzying thoughts drowned out whatever He might want to communicate. Part of the answer lay on the surface of her half-frozen brain. In order to achieve her goal of becoming an ace chef, she had to put her personal life on hold.

Well, starting tomorrow, she would make every effort to plan a date with at least one online candidate. What’s the worst that could happen? So maybe she’d encounter a few duds along the way. Better than growing into an eccentric old woman who wore too much rouge for her own good.

Jess slammed off the faucet and hopped out of the tub. She slipped on her white terry robe and wrapped it tightly around her. Shivering, she returned to her room, opened the closet door, and pulled out her long, black skirt.

A lot of single women blossomed, even thrived, without a husband or children. But she was not one of those women. She yanked her white silk blouse off the hanger, paused, and studied the evidence in her hand. Why this outfit? Because Tom said she looked great in it?
Bad idea
.

Jess tossed the blouse on the bed, hastily unzipped her skirt and climbed out of it. She scanned her overflowing closet for a garment that wouldn’t scream desperation and settled on her blue cotton dress.

Her craziness had started when she’d seen Tom with Heather in Flavors. If she didn’t watch her step, she’d turn into Juan’s ex-wife.

Jess slid her dress over her head. Too bad she’d overheard Juan’s sad commentary to one of the waiters. He said his ex didn’t want him and didn’t want anybody else to have him. Perish the thought!

Jess plugged in the blow-dryer, flipped her hair forward, and let the warm air travel over her neck. She couldn’t possibly be so petty. Tom deserved a wife who would make him happy. Very happy. But just not Heather. Heather Webster was all wrong for him. So why couldn’t he see that? And in telling him, would Tom believe her, or would she only succeed in breaking his heart?

Pulling the dryer away from her hair, she held her breath. The doorbell? She snapped off the noisy device and waited. The sound of the buzzer traveled to her ears like a symphony.

Smiling, Jess dropped the dryer on the bed and dashed to the front door.

❧

Tom adjusted the knot in his tie, then picked up his suit jacket off the bed. He glanced at the phone again. “Nope.” As much as he loved Jess, his days of pursuing her with undying patience had come to an end. Love had to be mutual, or it bordered on pitiful. Time to move on.

He strode to the front door and grabbed his car keys off the hook. His hammering heart disagreed with him. No surprise. But the truth had set him free. Free enough to carry on a nice chat in Instant Message last night with Linda—also known as Lab711.

Tom locked the front door, then proceeded down the long, carpeted hallway. Second thoughts made him hesitate at the waiting elevator. But he groaned and stepped inside. If he intended to make a go of it with another woman, he’d have to quit harboring hope for him and Jess. His sixteen-year trek had dragged him over rough terrain—from starry-eyed schoolboy to thirty-two-year-old prisoner of hope.

Tom exited the elevator into the parking garage under his building. No sense feeling guilty. He’d done nothing wrong. If Jess wanted a ride to church, she could’ve called him or she could ask the doorman to hail her a cab.

Sitting behind the steering wheel of his vehicle, Tom shook his head. One word from Jess that this was her favorite truck, and he’d run out and bought one.
Pathetic
. He’d been so blind he’d let himself believe that, once Jess reached her career goals, her eyes would open to discover romantic possibilities with him.

Tom shifted into drive, headed out from the gloom of the underground garage, and squinted at the bright morning greeting him.

Men had done crazier things in the name of love. How about Samson? Now there was a guy who’d learned a lesson or two on where to set the bar when it came to the opposite sex.

Blowing out a long breath, Tom grimaced. In all fairness to Jess, she was no Delilah. Jess had a good heart. She’d been dealt her share of problems. And allowing herself to fall in love with him would be tantamount, in her mind, to betraying her father.

According to Jess’s dad, Dean, he was the only one who could be trusted with his daughter. Tom grinned. Talk about a left-handed compliment if ever he’d heard one. Though he had been a willing victim, not seeing himself as victimized at all, as long as he got to spend time with Jess.

But Jessica Stewart no longer needed tender loving care—at least not the brand he offered. She was a grown woman. A beautiful, successful woman, who didn’t require coddling.

Tom pulled the truck into a spot in the church’s gravel parking lot. He cut the engine and looked up to see Frank heading toward him. Opening the door of the truck, Tom nodded a greeting.

“Where’s Jessica?” Frank leaned sideways to peek into the cab of the truck.

Tom hopped out, closed the door, and pressed the key chain to set the alarm. “Not with me.” His sarcastic tone would no doubt give rise to Frank’s suspicions.

“A lover’s quarrel?” Frank quirked his dark brows. As they headed in the direction of the front entrance, his smile slowly disintegrated.

Tom shook his head. “Sorry, but I can’t joke about this yet.” He’d never be able to joke about losing Jess.

“Nah. I’ve got a big mouth. Ignore.” Frank clapped his hand to his shoulder. “And here’s Jess now,” he said between clenched teeth.

Tom’s jaw grew taut as Jess breezed toward him. He took in the color of her dress, setting off the clear blue of her eyes. At her tentative smile, he made an effort to recall the pep talk he’d given himself this morning. He approached as the new Tom—no longer a prisoner of hope. “Morning, Jess.” He returned her smile as Frank made a hasty retreat up the church steps.

“Hi. What happened to you this morning?”

“You could’ve called me if you needed a ride, you know.”

Her perfectly arched brows rose in what seemed like surprise. “Oh, well, in any case, Marilyn came by to pick me up.” Jess glanced over her shoulder. “She went in the side door.” She cleared her throat. “You know, to bring the kids to the nursery.”

Tom nodded. “That’s nice.” He ran a quick gaze over her face. His heart had to be oozing admiration all over his sleeve. “But you could’ve called me if you needed a ride.” Hadn’t he said that before? He looked down, focusing on the cement steps, but Jess’s scent alone was enough to force him down on one knee.

“Well.” Jess laughed. “You usually call me. I–I didn’t know what was going on with you since. . .”

Tom lifted his gaze to her. “Since?” He tilted his head but couldn’t break the code on her unreadable expression. Seized by an insane desire to reach out and touch her, he clamped his hands behind his back.

“You know what I mean. I thought, now that you’re seeing Heather—”

Tom laughed. A nervous reaction to her show of jealousy.

Jess shot him a wide-eyed look of indignation. “What’s so funny?” Her shoulders straightened in a defensive posture.

“I’m not dating Heather.” Tom tugged at the knot in his tie. “I would’ve thought you knew my type by now.”

“Well, that’s fine too. I didn’t want to come between—” Jess ascended another step. “Some people don’t understand that men and women can be friends.” She smiled.

Tom’s heart made a rapid descent to the sidewalk. He had been one of those people. “That’s right. Some people don’t.” Just the kick in the head he needed to get on with his new life. Could the Lord show him any more clearly?

They walked past the outer doors together, moving through the sanctuary and greeting friends as they headed toward the third row, center aisle. To Jess, this was business as usual. Anything more came from his overactive imagination.

Settling into his seat, Tom slanted her a glance. “I met an interesting woman on the Internet.”

“Did you?” Staring straight ahead, Jess nodded slowly. “So you joined the Christian dating service after all?” She turned, facing him fully, her eyes darkening. “The one you told me
not
to join?”

“Yes, but it’s different for”—y
ou
, he was tempted to say—“some women.”

“Wh–what?” Jess leaned forward, looking like a rocket ready for blastoff. The middle-aged man sitting to her right gave Tom a shrug that said, “Don’t look at me.”

“We’d better save this conversation for another time.” Tom directed his attention to the elderly redhead standing at the pulpit. She’d been making the announcements every Sunday for the past several years, but her name refused to register in his addled brain.

“Yes, we’ll talk later. In fact, why don’t we go to Flavors for dessert after the service?”

Jess’s tone struck as the calm before the storm. But he could do worse than some alone time with Jess.

Six

Jess hefted her purse strap to her shoulder and edged out of the pew behind Tom. If only she hadn’t told Marilyn on the ride to church not to wait for her after the service. But she couldn’t have anticipated then how much she would need her friend’s shoulder now and a hefty dose of her humor.

Following Tom up the aisle, Jess collided smack-dab against his solid back. She blinked, quickly registering that he’d stopped to shake hands with the music minister. “Sorry,” she whispered.

Tom glanced over his shoulder and smiled, sending unwelcome flutters to her stomach.

Jess opened her mouth to announce she wouldn’t be going to Flavors with him, but the youth leader had diverted his attention.

Somewhere between the praise songs and the preaching, Tom’s news had hit full force. He’d met an interesting woman on the Internet. His casual statement, accompanied by a guiltless smile, had echoed in her mind, gnawing a hole in the pit of her stomach even as her Bible lay open on her lap. An innocent bystander would never have guessed Tom had tried to thwart
her
plans. A knot grew in her throat.

But she had to ponder the good. The sermon had forced her to reexamine her motives for wanting to go to Flavors with Tom. She had hoped pleasant chitchat over coffee would prove to him his antics didn’t phase her. But her plan looked foolish in the light of the truth of Scripture. After all, in his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. And He was certainly determining hers at the moment.

As Pastor Rob had read from the book of Colossians, “ ‘Bear with each other. . .forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you,’ ” her heart made a swift turnaround.

Pretending Tom’s offense hadn’t cut to the core would accomplish nothing. Unforgiveness had no place in a Christian’s life, even though Tom had thrown a fit when she’d brought up online dating. He just hadn’t applied the same standards to himself—nor to this
interesting woman
.

Jess felt heat rising to her face. Her lips quivered at the thought of telling Tom she had joined Love Online and she had plans for her own first date. She gripped her purse handle tighter. He’d only think her desperate. Mystery was so much more appealing than the known. Did Internet Woman stir excitement in Tom, while her familiar face forced a yawn?

Scanning the back of his golden-brown head, her gaze dropped to the perfectly tailored suit stretching across his broad shoulders. Internet Woman would probably fall head over heels for Tom’s great looks, even before she got a glimpse into his loving heart.

Jess clamped her jaw. The shuffle-stop pace toward the exit set her pulse to thudding in her ears. While Tom exchanged friendly banter, she hid behind the canvas of his dark blue suit jacket, though her shield was the source of the frown pulling at her face.

At the sound of street noises wafting through the open church doors, Jess swept aside her disjointed thoughts. Now was not the time to ramble. She groped for one strong, coherent sentence to articulate the basis for her anger, but her chaotic emotions tangled with random words like so much kite string, cutting off her ability to think straight.

They descended the steps, and Jess found herself standing face-to-face on the sidewalk with him. Shirring up for a confession, she took a deep breath and pinned back her shoulders.

Tom’s sugary-brown gaze met hers full force, trapping the air in her lungs. A slight breeze ruffled his thick hair. A hint of his cologne, like freshly sliced limes, washed over her, somehow diluting the strength of her convictions.

Tom rested his strong hands on her shoulders and smiled.

Jess swallowed past the sudden dryness in her throat. Her lips parted, but her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.

“Do you want to walk or take the truck?” Tom brushed back the windblown hair tickling her cheek. He tilted his head, his smile fading. “What’s wrong, Jess?”