Love Songs for the Road (16 page)

“Sure, Jacey. What’s up?”

Jacey hesitated, and wouldn’t look her in the eye. “I’ve noticed you and Marcus seem to be getting along pretty well.”

Ryan made sure not to hesitate, not for an instant. “We get along just fine. I’m his employee. He’s my boss.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“Jacey, excuse me. I have a job to do.” She tried to push past her, but Jacey sidestepped and blocked her path.

“What job? Thanks to that picture Charlotte posted, you’ve won yourself a day off.”

“Come on, the bus is leaving soon. I need to pack.”

“Will you please just listen to me for a second?” Jacey exhaled. Ryan had never seen her look this frustrated before. “You seem like a cool girl, okay?”

“Uhhh, thanks for that.”
What a weirdo
, Ryan thought.

“Really, I mean it. So, just take this as a warning, okay? Marcus—”

“I really don’t need any advice from you about Marcus, okay?”

“He’s just using you.” She shook her head, her eyes pointing at the ground. “Believe me, I’m one to know.”

Ryan stopped trying to push past Jacey. The girl had 100 percent of her attention now. “You’re telling me you and Marcus—”

“Yeah,” Jacey said. “That’s how I got on this tour in the first place. While Marcus was taking time off the road, Alex tour-managed a couple cross-country trips of mine, and he invited Marcus to my gig in Spokane. Marcus was gushing to me afterward, telling me how great the performance was, how gorgeous I was, you know. He was impressed by how much energy I put out onstage, told me how he loved it when women were in such good shape.”

“I don’t want to hear this.” Ryan hated oversharers so much. Why did everybody feel compelled to reveal their deepest, darkest, stupidest secrets to each other?

“Which is exactly why you
should
hear it.” Jacey, clearly on the verge, took a deep, collecting breath. “He spent the entire rest of the tour with me. We spent every night together, from Omaha to Gainesville. It was pretty great.”

“That’s between you and Marcus. It has nothing to do with—”

“Does he call you ‘amazing’ all the time?”

Ryan didn’t respond. Marcus had, in fact,
just
called her that, but who cared? Just because Marcus was an inventive and original songwriter didn’t mean that he had to reinvent the wheel every time he praised a girl he liked.

But Jacey took Ryan’s silence as license to keep up the divulgences. “He wanted to see you with your hair down, didn’t he, before your first kiss?”

“Were you…
spying
on us?” Ryan asked, and immediately regretted it. She shouldn’t have let Jacey, who was smiling with satisfaction now, know that she’d hit the target.

“No,” she said. “But it looks like I didn’t need to. He told me the exact same thing.”

Ryan didn’t like confrontations, and she’d always been bad at comebacks, but she wasn’t going to just sit here and take this. “He was probably just rehearsing,” she said.

“What are you talking about?” Jacey squinted at her like a twelve-year-old.

“Maybe you were just a warm-up,” Ryan said.

“A warm-up for what?”

“A warm-up for me,” Ryan said. “Don’t you get it? You’re the opening act, and you will never be more than the opening act. But I am the main attraction. I am the headliner.”

Jacey stepped back as if she’d been struck. Stunned, she turned on her heels and headed back down the hall.

But Ryan didn’t revel in the victory. She was pretty sure Jacey was lying about her involvement with Marcus, or at least seriously stretching the truth. Marcus might have hooked up with Jacey, sure, once or twice. He was a guy like any other guy, and Jacey was undeniably pretty. But if he’d had a relationship with her, spent every night of a tour with her, Ryan would have found out about it by now. Her own time in the spotlight had shown her that much. Anyway, that had been long before Marcus had met Ryan, and he clearly wasn’t pining for her now—that much was clear.

No, what was bothering Ryan was that Jacey had actually succeeded in riling her. She’d always prided herself on not sinking to the level of people like Jacey, who wanted nothing more than a reaction out of her. But what had her brief time in Marcus’s world done to her?
The headliner? The main attraction?
Her put-downs sounded like they should have come out of Jacey’s mouth, not hers.

The pressure was getting to her, it was obvious, but that was no excuse. She couldn’t act out like that again. She didn’t want to become attention-starved like Jacey, or jaded and cold like Bianca. But maybe their time in the spotlight had
made
them that way. Was it possible for her, for anyone, to be with Marcus, and hold on to her values at the same time? She cared about him, she knew for sure now. But she couldn’t fall for a man if it meant betraying herself.

I need to get back to being myself again
, she thought.
Back to being plain-old Ryan Evans.

Chapter Twenty-Two

A Performance

Marcus returned to the hotel at nine thirty, cradling Miles in his arms, while Serena had to practically drag the comatose Charlotte through the lobby. Poor kids. What a day they’d had.

“Serena, you texted Ryan, yeah?” he asked. “They’ll probably fall right to sleep on me, but Miles could wake up bursting with energy as soon as I put him down, for all I know.”

“Yep, she should be waiting for you in the suite,” Serena answered.

“Great.” Marcus hadn’t had time to call Ryan, or even tell her the news with a text, but she was the only one he wanted to share it with. As he leaned forward gently to swipe the key card, making sure that Miles didn’t shift or stir, he realized that he hadn’t wanted to share news, good or bad, with anyone in years. But now, all he wanted was to see her clap with joy along with him, to share this moment together.

Ryan pulled the door open before he had a chance to. Their eyes met, but as soon as she saw the condition of the kids, she understood right away, merely mouthing
hi!
to him before taking Charlotte’s hand from Serena’s.

“Serena, thanks so much,” Marcus whispered. The assistant waved to Ryan and her boss and tiptoed away. Marcus would have Ryan alone, any minute now. Just had to get these two tucked in.

In the kids’ room, Marcus cradled his son’s head, putting him into bed in slow motion. The boy moaned a brief protest, but fell asleep again without a fight. Charlotte brushed her teeth and put on her pajamas quickly enough, and Marcus tucked her in and turned off the light. After lightly closing the door, he turned to Ryan with an excited look. He wanted to take her into his arms. Holding her close would be the perfect ending to this perfect day.

They walked to the far end of the room and sat on the couch. “So, what happened?” she asked.

Marcus started from the beginning. “Well, Cynthia did an amazing job of prepping all of us in her hotel room, which was just around the corner from the courthouse.”

“Courthouse?” Ryan said. “Sounds intimidating.”

“Actually, it felt more like we were in the conference room at an office. The judge didn’t have her robes on, or anything. The atmosphere was actually pretty casual, and the moment I saw her, the judge, I just had a good feeling.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, she was a little older, maybe sixty-five, and she had a very trustworthy face. I don’t know…I felt like I could trust her, anyway. And it really seemed like she wanted to make the best possible decision for the kids.”

“Were they with you the whole time?”

“No, thank God. Just at the end. When Bianca was done slinging
her
mud—”

“Meaning?”

“Well, everything we’d expected: how my relationship with you had crossed a line and become destructive—”

“Ouch.” Ryan grimaced. He’d have to censor himself and leave out some of the vilest accusations. Why hurt her with this completely false depiction of “the bad nanny,” this legal pose that had backfired on Bianca anyway?

“At which point, Cynthia, of course, asked to see any evidence of this sordid, unhealthy relationship beyond the holding of hands.”

“They didn’t make anything up, did they?”

“No. They had nothing. I mean, I agreed with them that the Instagram post hadn’t been something I’d wanted to happen. But under cross-questioning, Bianca consented that she was the one who’d allowed Charlotte to have her account in the first place.”

Marcus put his hand on Ryan’s shoulder for a moment. He couldn’t
not
touch her, not when he was finally free to.

“Tell me more,” Ryan said.

“Well, Bianca’s counsel, this guy Albert Moss—he’s a real bastard—tried to turn my bringing the kids against us, saying it was yet another example of the kind of ethical breach I was ‘notorious’ for.”

“Notorious? Yikes.”

“But the judge had no problem with it whatsoever, and questioned Miles and Charlotte, one at a time, in the sweetest possible way.”

“What did she ask them?”

“She asked them about me, and about you, stressing that they needed to be completely honest. Nobody was going to get into any trouble, she said. The court just wanted to make sure they were being cared for properly, you know…anyway, both of them, but especially Charlotte, were so eloquent and simple and straightforward about the whole thing. It was obvious from the get-go that you and I are both doing an amazing job. Charlotte said, ‘Dad has never spent as much time with us as he has on this tour.’”

“Well, that’s great. But did the judge ask Charlotte about you and me? You know, the picture, and whether we’re quote-unquote involved or not?”

“She sure did. She was gentle with them, but very specific, too. First, she wanted to know what they’d seen—just hand-holding, or more than that? Miles, of course, was clueless; he hadn’t seen a thing. And Charlotte said she’d seen us hold hands, and nothing more.

“That was enough for her. After the kids left the room, she said that our behavior hadn’t been harmful or inappropriate, and that your being my employee had no legal standing in terms of custody, unless harmful or inappropriate behavior had been witnessed. I
think
I’m getting the language right here.”

“So we’re not being totally irresponsible, then?” Ryan asked, smiling. “We’re not damaging them for life?”

“Just the opposite—they both said they were more comfortable on the road, felt more stable in
this
environment, than they did at home.”

“What?” Ryan said. “More comfortable, how?”

“Well, Charlotte was saying how there are a lot of different ‘guy friends’ who come around.”

“No!”

“Yep. Let me tell you, Bianca wanted to crawl under a rock.”

Ryan sat up on the edge of the couch and faced him. “Marcus, cut to the chase. You seem happy, but what happened? Was an agreement reached?”

“Joint custody!” Marcus still couldn’t believe it.

“Straight up the middle?”

“Yep. Half and half.”

“Awesome!”

It would take them a while to figure out the details. Would this mean that Marcus would have to move back to Los Angeles, so that the kids’ school wouldn’t be interrupted? Or would he be able to figure out a way to have the kids go to school in Montana? “I don’t know how the specifics will pan out, exactly,” he told Ryan. “But this turned out so much better than I ever could have planned it, in my wildest dreams.”

“That’s great, Marcus, really.”

He reached forward and brushed Ryan’s hair behind her ear, then traced his finger gently along her cheek. “Thank you, Ryan. Thank you so much.”

“Thank
me
? For what? I’m the one who got you into all this trouble.”

“No. If not for you—the way you are with the kids, the way you are with me—I don’t think I’d ever have had the courage to fight for them.”

“Marcus…”

He kissed her once, rubbed her nose with his. “It’s like you showed me that I could be happy, and that I could be the kind of dad who could make
them
happy, too.”

Ryan kissed him back. “I don’t know what to say. I’m just so happy for you.”

“You know what’s really great, though?” He grabbed her by the waist and clasped his hands behind her back, gazing into her eyes.

“No, but I have a feeling you’re about to tell me.”

Marcus laughed. “Don’t you see? We don’t have to hide anymore. We’ve seen the worst of what Bianca can do to us, and we won.”

“Are you sure? No more sneaking around?”

“And no more secret hand holding.”

“But don’t you think we should keep taking it slow, for the kids’ sake?”

“The kids know we care about each other. They know this is a positive relationship. And they’re crazy about you.”

Marcus walked to the kids’ door and checked to make sure it was tightly shut. Then, before she could think of any more reasons to be cautious, Marcus swept her up in his arms and kissed her. He’d been thinking of her constantly, fantasizing about taking her to bed ever since he’d walked out of the courtroom. On the plane, he’d imagined all the things he would do to her until he’d broken out in a sweat. After waiting patiently for hours, he wasn’t going to hold back a second longer.

“Yes,” Ryan whispered. She kissed his neck and nibbled lightly on his ear. He laid her on the bed and undressed her slowly, taking his time.

They had nothing but time now.

Marcus woke up after just ten minutes, but he felt rested and totally at peace.

Ryan was propped up on one elbow, running her finger across his chest. “Aahh,” he sighed. “The afterglow…”

“Knock it off,” she said, playfully swatting at him.

Instead, Marcus drew closer to her. But Ryan pulled back, so slightly he barely noticed it.

“Oh, I’m more than all right. It’s just—”

“What?”

Ryan shook her head. “It’s
so
not a thing, I’m embarrassed to ask.”

“No, please. Tell me.”

She took in a deep breath, and exhaled. “Did you ever hook up with Jacey?” she asked at last.

“Come again?” Marcus sat up abruptly. Ryan had caught him off-guard. Alone with her, in the hazy serenity of the suite, Jacey was the last person on his mind.

“You’re not going to make me repeat it, are you? They’re
your
words, not mine.”

“God, no.”

“You’re
sure
about that?” She bit her lip. “If you did, it’s okay. I mean, as long as it was before we met.”

“Ryan, really—never. I mean, she is about as far from my type as you can get.”

“I believe you, I do.” She squeezed his hand tenderly, and he felt so relieved. He could imagine what it would feel like to lose her, how big a loss it would be. “It’s just…you remember how you asked me to take my hair down for you? Right before we kissed, at the Ranch?”

“Of course, I remember.”

“Well, she said you used the same line on her once.”

Marcus rubbed his chin, trying to remember. Had he said anything like that to Jacey? Alex had pestered him a little over a year ago, asking him to come up to Spokane to catch this hot new singer-songwriter who happened to be the daughter of his old buddy, Earle Richards. Marcus hadn’t wanted to go—he was in the midst of a terrible depression—but Alex convinced him, telling him that a little road trip would be the best thing for him. When he saw Jacey and her band, that amazing Brady kid on guitar, and a cracker-jack rhythm section, he knew the girl had the potential to be huge. She had a set of lungs on her, an even better set of songs co-written with Brady, and the look and stage presence of a young Shania Twain.

“Oh my God,” he said finally. “I remember now. She was wearing her hair in a ponytail on stage, and I told her it looked too controlled, too uptight.”

“That sounds like you.”

“If you’re thinking of our bike lesson, it wasn’t like that at all.”

“How was it, then?”

“She asked me to critique her image—the whole band’s image—so I did. I told her she had a great look, but that she should have her hair down on stage. I suggested that she tone down her fashion sense a little—she was wearing designers, looking
super
LA. Audiences don’t like performers who look like they’re in total control. They like performers to walk on the wild side a little, to give
up
a bit of control in service of the show.”

Marcus couldn’t tell whether he’d satisfied her. For an instant, though he knew he probably wasn’t out of the woods yet, he let pride flicker through him. Had he made the imperturbable Ryan Evans lose control, just a little bit? Had he actually made her jealous?

“Okay, so you definitely did not sleep with her, then?” He couldn’t tell—was she doubting him again, or just teasing?

“Did she say that?” he asked.

Ryan hesitated. “She definitely implied it. She said you were with her
every night.
”

“On tour with her every night, sure. But not in
bed
. What a little liar she is.”

After a moment, Ryan laughed. “If that tour was anything like Canyon Ranch, she must have been throwing herself at you every five minutes.”

“More like every five seconds.”

“And she’s a good-looking girl.”

“She’s very pretty.” Marcus shrugged. “But she’s not for me.”

“Yeah? And I am, huh?”

Marcus brought her hand to his mouth and covered it with kisses. Then he said, “I’m going to tell you something now, just so you know what you mean to me.”

He paused for effect. He couldn’t help it. It was the performer in him.

“What?” Ryan said. “Out with it!”

“You’re the first person I’ve…been with, since the divorce.”

“‘Been with’?” She smirked.

“You’re the first person I’ve kissed, made out with, slept with, whatever you want to call it.”