Lulu in LA LA Land (9 page)

Well, judging from your recent test grades, you could all use extra credit.

JADE

K. We're in.

Lulu hesitates. Are the Pop Girls really asking her for plans?

LULU

Geez peas. Great. I always need more help.

JADE

Will text ya what day.

LULU

Sure. Anytime. My momny, I mean my, ummm, Elana picks me up every day. She can bring you guys over.

Jade and Jana scurry down the hall. Jenna, seeing instant worry flash across Lulu's face, lingers.

JENNA

Do you not want us to come over?

LULU

No, it's just that, I'm not really a texter.

JENNA

Ohhh. OK, I'll just call your house when they figure out the day.

Jenna bolts down the hall to find her pals. Lulu looks at Sophia and shrugs.

LULU

That was muy loco.

FADE OUT.

INT. BEL-AIR HOTEL—SATURDAY, MORNING

CAMERA PANS TO FOLLOW LULU AND ALEXIS as they enter the Bel-Air Hotel.

They walk a winding path over a bridge, past fountains, then through courtyards full of azaleas and impatiens. Alexis pauses to check out sunbathers lounging around the huge pool. Lulu pauses to read room service menus hanging from hotel room doors.

The Spa, tucked inside the hotel's hillside European-style building, sits above stone steps.

The girls enter. Lulu lies down on a bench.

LULU

Geez peas! I've just walked miles on empty. Lex, you gotta believe in lunch breaks.

Lulu quickly looks around the spa's reception area and notices dispensers filled with fruit-infused icy water.

ALEXIS

Stop complaining already!

Alexis approaches the front desk.

LULU

If it wasn't for my chips and salsa, I'd lift the lid off that glass water cooler, plunge my hand through the ice, and snatch the apple slices. I'd risk first-degree frostbite!

Lulu grabs chips from her Save Earth tote and crunches.

The spa's director is a French woman named JOSETTE who glides over. She greets Lulu and Alexis with a kiss on each cheek (the European way). Josette wears fitted white trousers, a white silk blouse, and pointy high heels. Her hair is swept up into a bun. The French are always so stylish!! Alexis likes
everything
about Josette. Lulu wonders if Josette might have a good crêpe recipe.

JOSETTE

Bonjour, Harrisons. Welcome! We are a full-service spa for ladies and gentlemen to relax, refresh, and beautify.

ALEXIS

Sounds très fab! It's my sister's birthday, and I'm planning her party at our house.

Alexis shakes her small wrist, weighed down with a pile of gold bracelets, in the direction of the house. Her bangles clank against her large flashy watch that's never set to the right time.

ALEXIS

I wanted to see if you'd do the party.

JOSETTE

Oh, oui. I can create a highly personalized spa experience. Of course, I just adore your parents!

(totally ignoring Lulu)

Alexis, please tell them that Bel-Air Spa is at their service.

LULU

Gracias, Josette.

(concerned voice)

Hey, Lex, about our parents. Have you checked if they're coming?

ALEXIS

Just CHILL. This will be a way-perfect bash.

(to Josette)

So, can we pick treatments for tweeny girls?

JOSETTE

Oui.

Josette hands Alexis the spa menu and a gold pen.

Lulu checks her watch.

LULU

How long are we gonna be here? I don't want to be late for Sophia again.

ALEXIS

If you'd use a cell phone, you could call, text, or email her. What do you guys use, smoke signals? Sundials?

Josette interrupts. Bickering does not suit the spa's peaceful mood.

JOSETTE

Lulu, mon cherie, please tell me what treatments you'd like? Massage? We have caviar, Swedish, deep tissue, stone, aromatherapy, reflexology.

LULU

What? Caviar? People slather stinky fish eggs all over their skin?

JOSETTE

(smiling)

No, it's not actual fish eggs. The creams we use have rare beads that only resemble caviar eggs.

ALEXIS

What about facials?

JOSETTE

Of course, there's a facial with white caviar. I also offer caviar manicures and pedicures.

Josette points out the facial and massage options on the spa menu.

ALEXIS

Do you have the staff for this?

JOSETTE

For the Harrisons, I do whatever it takes. I recommend reflexology as the massage, so the girls don't have to get completely undressed.

LULU

I positively do NOT want to take my clothes off!

JOSETTE

I'm sure Alexis figures something out.

Alexis beams at the compliment.

JOSETTE

What about hair? All girls like to get their hair done.

ALEXIS

Well, judging from Lulu's locks, not ALL girls.

They turn toward Lulu, who's now exploring a mirrored, closet-sized room filled with lotions and potions. Lulu sniffs and squeezes every tube.

LULU

(yells out)

Are these organic? I hope nothing's tested on animals.

ALEXIS

(embarrassed by Lulu)

SHHH! News flash: you're in a quiet, relaxing place!

Lulu walks toward the spa's entrance.

LULU

I'm gonna wait in front for Elana to take me home.

Lulu pushes open the doors.

JOSETTE

(calling after Lulu)

Not to worry. Everything will be taken care of!

LULU

(stops and calls back to Josette)

Bonjour, bon voyage.

INT. HARRISON HOUSE—FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

LULU'S POINT OF VIEW as she jogs through the grand front entrance, up the winding mahogany wood stairs, and down a long hallway lined with silver-framed black-and-white photographs of relatives. She shoves open the door to her room, puffing and sweating, then collapses across the foot of her bed.

Lulu's room is the only part of the house that looks different. Walls are painted orange. Lulu somehow convinced her mother they'd look perfect colored like a Hermès bag. Bursting bookcases line the walls. Ivy garland winds up the posts of a canopy bed that's covered with a ladybug-embroidered duvet. Butterfly shaped pillows rest against the headboard. Watson, wearing his new “FEED ME” shirt, lies on Lulu's pillows doing his best impression of a stuffed animal.

French message boards decorate the walls, onto which Lulu has stuck drawings, postcards, animal pictures, and any kind of paper souvenir. Lulu herself ordered the orange furry beanbag chair and the wood sign on the ceiling that reads, “DREAM.”

Sophia sits on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest. She's clearly made an effort to make herself as small as possible. She's reading a book called
Birds, Bees, and Buds: A Native Garden.

LULU

(panting)

Hi, Soph! I didn't forget. Today's our day to plant the wildflower seeds. You brought them, right? They came?

SOPHIA

Yes.

Sophia pulls seed packets from her fawn-colored Coach messenger bag, a Christmas present from Lulu's mother. She tosses the seeds onto the floor.

SOPHIA

They came. But I'm going.

A deep silence spreads through Lulu's bright, sunny room. Then, despite feeling wiped out from her zoom up to her room, Lulu clicks into action. Her emotions and energy explode.

LULU

I know I'm late. Alexis wanted me to do stuff again today. You know how she is: Queen Bee.

Sophia doesn't respond.

LULU

She's getting more into me lately, well, into my birthday. She's been taking me out 'cause she's trying to get me to be more grown-up.

SOPHIA

(mock surprise)

Really, more grown-up?

LULU

Exactly! Today I spent an hour in the glam-a-roo Bel-Air spa learning that a caviar facial doesn't slather fish eggs on your face.

More silence.

Sophia chews on the ends of her hair.

LULU

And being with Alexis is hard on my stomach. She doesn't let me have lunch. The only food in that spa was apple slices floating in icy water dispensers. I was so hungry I considered plunging my hand into the glass cooler, snatching out the apples, and risking the first-degree frostbite.

Sophia sits motionless.

Like air let out of a beachball, Lulu deflates.

More silence.

SOPHIA

I'm happy for you. You've always wanted to be close to your sister.

(pauses)

Don't think I don't understand. I wish I had a brother or sister to hang out with.

LULU

Soph! You know we're like real sisters.

Lulu rushes over and tries to hug her friend, but Sophia shrinks into an even smaller ball, hoping to roll out of sight.

SOPHIA

(in a sad, quiet voice)

I just wish you'd told me.

LULU

I thought I told you I was going with Alexis this morning.

SOPHIA

No, not about that. I mean tell me, you know. Everything.

Sophia's eyes sweep across shopping bags strewn around Lulu's room. The bags are stuffed with clothes, shoes, and makeup. Lulu realizes what Sophia sees.

LULU

Oh, been doing some shopping with Alexis. She's decided I need a full chick-over.

SOPHIA

A what?

Lulu leaps over to a shopping bag and dumps out tubes of lotions and moisturizers.

LULU

A chick-over. Look at this crazy stuff. One of these tubes has stuff I'm supposed to use to cover my freckles! Like I'd ever want to do that!

SOPHIA

You mean chic-over?

LULU

Yeah, 'cause it's not like she'd ever help me harvest cilantro or make lemon squares.

An intercom buzzes. Elana's voice comes through.

ELANA

Sophia, your mother is
aqui
—waiting for you in the driveway. She say to come now, but that you're gonna have to wait for her at her next appointment.

Sophia unfolds herself and rises from the floor.

SOPHIA

Gracias, Elana. I'll be right there.

(looking at Lulu)

Since you're obviously really busy, let me save you the time. I'm leaving because friends can be different, but what they've gotta have in common is telling each other the truth.

LULU

(trying to keep her voice even)

Fine, well I can honestly and truthfully say you're making a grande mistake. Why do you want to sit around some stranger's house while your mom's doing a massage when we can be planting our seeds?

Sophia heads to the door.

LULU

(follows Sophia)

I'll come down with you and explain to your mom.

SOPHIA

(looks at Lulu)

No, thanks.

LULU

Soph, c'mon! You're my supremely best friend! We've got tons of recipes to make up and plants to grow and bugs and birds to watch and stories to—

SOPHIA

OK, Lulu.

(in the hallway, turns to face Lulu)

Ya know, your dad shouldn't be the only one up for a Best Actor award. You're pretty good, yourself.

Sophia leaves Lulu standing in her bedroom stunned.

CUT!! Geez peas! I am SO confused! A Saturday afternoon, and I'm not with Sophia?! I don't know whether to sit, stand, lie down, go downstairs or outside. Well, I can't be a statue, so back to: ACTION!!

Lulu picks up the wildflower seed packets from the floor, flings them onto her desk, and slumps into her puffy desk chair. That's when her eyes see it.

Her creamy, raspberry-inked, letter-pressed Spa-tacular birthday invitation is tucked under a ribbon on the message board.

Lulu crawls into her bed and curls up next to Watson, who hasn't moved a millimeter.

LULU

(to Watson)

Thanks for all your help!

FADE OUT on Watson's sleepy face.

INT. BLUE PRIUS—AN HOUR LATER

LULU

STOP!!

ELANA

There's traffic. Uno momento!

LULU

(her arm out the window)

It's Miguel! See him standing on the corner?!

Elana expertly turns right and goes around the block. She pulls up behind the Garzas' Taco Truck. Lulu's out of the car in a flash and bolts over to Miguel.

EXT. CORNER OF KINGS ROAD AND BEVERLY BOULEVARD—CONTINUOUS

LULU

Geez peas, Miguel. I'm famished because I just lived through the most humiliating experience! Elana got me out of the house to shop with Alexis. And we're in this snooty towel store—well, they sell other snooty stuff too—and puggy jumps from his stroller and de-diapers! I dive after him under racks of expensive bathrobes. He's rolling in dust bunnies and colored strings. The more I reach for him, the more he rolls away from me. And all I can—