Luscious (10 page)

His arms tightened around her, stilling her movement, holding her immobile until she became aware of his arousal. He pressed his face to the curve of her neck and kissed her. His breath puffed softly against her neck. Longing swept through her, bringing tears to her eyes.

Best just to get it out there. He couldn’t be disappointed if he wasn’t expecting much. “I’ve never felt this way before, Sean. I don’t know what to do.”

A laugh shuddered through his frame. She stiffened. Was he laughing at her?

She pushed against his arm and he caught her hands and held them. “I’ve never felt this way either, Olivia. Not like this. I don’t care about anything else when I’m with you. It scares the hell out of me.” His rough voice reassured her.

She stopped struggling. She wanted to turn around and look at him, but God, what would she do then? “I don’t know how to do this,” she whispered.

He kissed her neck again, raising goose bumps. “Relax, Olivia. You don’t have to do anything at all.” His arms tightened around her. “Although I can think of a number of things I’d like you to do, we don’t have to rush. I would love to just kiss you. But not right now.”

“Why not now?” she asked, surprising herself and wresting a rough chuckle from Sean.

“Let me rephrase that. Not right here. Your parents don’t seem to care for me and that chef gives me the creeps. Want to make a run for it?”

Yes
, she thought, and then
no
. There was no turning back from a premeditated dash up to his bedroom. But to deny him now would make her feel like even more of a failure.

He turned her gently in his arms and pulled her body into his. They fit together. Pressed against him, she felt soft and womanly, desired. His hands coasted slowly over her hips, up her back, to her shoulders, and down again, molding her body firmly to his. Her head fell forward to rest on his shoulder, her lips a fraction away from his neck. He smelled of clean skin and faint aftershave. Her awareness of him grew with every breath. This was Sean, she reminded herself—solid, dependable, thoughtful Sean.

She raised her head. The rising moon lit his blond hair and she reached up to brush her palm across his head. She half expected the glow to rub off on her hand. She touched his cheek, watching him watch her. There would be no faking it with Sean. He was too observant. He’d guess, or he’d know.

Was that what she wanted? She moved restlessly against him. He moved with her, making her gasp.
If
he
kisses
me, I’ll say yes
.

His eyes flashed as if he had read her mind, and his lips descended.

Sean kept the kiss gentle, although the urge to lower her to the lounge chair and cover her body with his pounded through him. His desire for her had been a constant in his life for so many years that it was hard to go slow, but her uncertainty made him cautious. He wanted to erase her doubts before anything more happened between them, and that wouldn’t happen if he rushed her.

He focused on her lips, responsive to every movement of his mouth. She followed his lead but didn’t try to take charge of their kiss. As long as he had known her, Olivia had been deliberate and controlled in her words and actions. She was direct, but not a risk taker. Was that because she was afraid of doing the wrong thing? After meeting her mother, he could understand how that might be the case. Maybe her idiot ex-husband had convinced her she made mistakes in the bedroom too.

Her arms crept around his waist and he didn’t muffle the low groan that ripped from his throat. He wanted her to know what she did to him and give her a good idea of what he wanted to do to her. He could sense her passion, tightly controlled, and he wanted to free it.

He pressed against her until there was no space between them. His body throbbed. She probably wasn’t aware of her slight forward thrust, but he sensed every motion of her hips, felt every rapid beat of her heart and involuntary shiver, heard every sigh and gasp. He hoped they could move this conversation to a room with a securely locked door soon. For some reason, she didn’t think she could do this, but he was determined to prove to her, beyond a shadow of a morning-after doubt, that she could. He would make her feel safe enough to lose control—to take control.

As if she had sensed his thought, her mouth opened under his and he felt the tip of her tongue touch his lip. He followed her invitation. Their tongues met, stroked. They shared a breath. He groaned again. If she continued to kiss him like this, she was going to wind up beneath him on the lounger despite his best intentions and the proximity of her parents.

The strangled noise she made so closely mirrored the protestation of his restrained desire that he almost ignored it, but he couldn’t ignore the hand she placed on his chest when she pushed.

He released her. With relief, he saw her eyes held desire not doubt. “Everything okay?” he asked.

“Yes, but I can’t, we can’t…” She gestured around the patio. “My parents.”

“Thank God,” he breathed. “Your room or mine?”

“Mine is closer.”

“Let’s go.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the house, wondering if they could get past the kitchen, through the foyer, and up the stairs without running into anyone. Her lips were swollen with his kisses, her silky hair had tracks from his fingers in it, and her eyes were shining. He wasn’t in any more presentable shape—the front of his pants was distinctly tented.
Baseball, roadkill, starving orphans on lifeboats
, he chanted silently.

They entered the house. It was silent. He sighed in relief. They tiptoed down the hall. The sudden clatter of the dish washing machine as they passed the kitchen door made them both freeze.

Olivia giggled.

“Shh,” he warned and tugged her down the hall. He held up a hand before he stepped into the foyer. Looking cautiously left and right, he motioned her quickly up the stairs. She darted in front of him. At the sound of voices in the dining room, she stifled a shriek and broke into a sprint.

The voices got louder and she sagged against the banister, giggling. A chuckle bubbled up inside him. For God’s sake, they were both adults. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up the stairs, although it was almost worth getting busted if sneaking around like a teenager put a smile like that on her face. Almost.

They careened to a stop in front of her door. Laughter shook her shoulders and it took her three tries to get it unlocked. “Hurry,” he urged, making her laugh harder.

The voices rose in the stairwell just as she twisted the knob. They fell into her room and he shut the door behind them, checking to make sure it locked.

The room was dark, lit only by the moonlight streaming through the lace curtains. Olivia walked over to the bed, still laughing softly. Her hair shone and he admired the smooth, white curve of her cheek as she turned to smile at him. He crossed the room and bent to turn on the lamp beside the bed.

No longer smiling, she put her hand on his arm. “I like it dark.”

He shook his head. Olivia wanted to cling to the safety of the dark. She wanted to hide, but he wanted to show her there was nothing to fear. He took a step toward her.

She took a step back and stumbled. He caught her around the waist, holding her until she regained her balance. She pushed against his hands and lurched again, forcing him to grip her more tightly.

Damn, he’d forgotten about all the wine they had drunk tonight. Disappointment surged through him, killing his desire. He gave her a gentle shove down onto the bed and sat beside her, stroking her soft hair away from her face.

He looked down into her eyes, gone dark with doubt again. “Are you all right?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I’m not sure. Part of me wants to do this more than you can possibly imagine, and when I get enough wine in me, it seems like a really excellent idea. But I can only keep myself fooled for so long before I remember…well…” She paused and he would have given anything to know what memories were passing through her head that made her look so sad and defeated. “It’s too big a risk. I don’t have a lot of people in my circle, Sean. My ex-husband is a total loss. Marlene and Joe are wrapped up in each other. It’s obvious I don’t have the easiest relationship with my mother. I don’t want to do anything that might damage our friendship.” Her fingers clutched his hand. “I might need a friend when my mother disowns me and kicks me out of the villa.”

“Why would she do that?”

“She doesn’t tolerate fools or failure. It’s pretty much her way or the highway and always has been. I’m picking the highway, Sean. I just came here to tell her. You’re right—I can’t go back to Chameleon. I’m not even sure I want to go back to New York.”

For once, being right didn’t make him happy. “So what are you going to do?”

She shrugged. “I haven’t decided. Travel? Eat, pray, run?”

“Running away isn’t going to solve any of your problems, Olivia.”

“Are you sure? Because it’s a hell of a relief.” Her jaw tightened. “I’m so glad to be out of Norton, I almost feel like a different person. A person who could do…this. But you’re right. Running away doesn’t change anything. And I’d like for us to stay friends.”

“So you think if we make love we won’t be friends anymore?” he asked.

Her lips curved in a wry twist. “That seems to be how it works out for me.”

Sean paused, thinking. “Yeah, pretty much me too.” But that wasn’t how he wanted it to turn out with Olivia. The rules that had applied to other women didn’t seem to apply to her. If she had been any other woman, they would be naked right now. His casual relationships hadn’t suffered from a drunken roll in the sheets, but he owed Olivia more than a one-night stand. And he didn’t want her to have any reason for regrets—or excuses. He kicked off his shoes, then slung an arm around her shoulders in a casual embrace and drew her toward the pillows.

“What are you doing?” she asked, keeping one arm stiff and perpendicular to the mattress.

He pulled it out from under her and caught her to his chest. “Being friendly.” He settled back onto the pillows and wrapped his arms around her. Slowly, her arm crept around his waist. His heart began a steady thump as she fit herself into his side. He hugged her and sighed.

“I’m no pro at this either. I’ve never had a serious relationship because I didn’t want anything to pull my focus away from my responsibilities to my clients or my family.

She snuggled closer. “Tell me more about your family.”

He took a deep breath. How could he explain his childhood? He was trying to make her feel better, not making a play for sympathy. There was no way to put it delicately, so he just laid it out. “My dad died when I was young and that’s when my mom started drinking. There was an insurance policy, so there was plenty of money.” He snorted. “To buy more vodka. She lost touch with what was going on and I figured out pretty quick that if I wanted to go to college then my grades had better be perfect. You may have noticed I didn’t socialize much in high school.”

She nodded. He was grateful not to see pity in her eyes, just acceptance. It made it easier to tell her the rest. “You remember my younger brother, right?”

He felt her nod, so he continued. “Colin’s twenty-one now, but when Dad died he was just a little guy. My mom couldn’t deal with him.”

She raised her head. “So what did you do?”

“Research. I found a universal Pre-K program that was free, and I made an arrangement with his teacher to watch him every day until I got done with school. Whenever mom was sober enough, I took her with me so the teacher wouldn’t ask too many questions. It wasn’t a great solution, but it got us through that year. The next year he went to kindergarten, and it was easier. I was terrified someone would discover what was going on at home and put us both in foster care.”

“Don’t you think that might have been easier for you?”

He shook his head. “I’d already lost my father and most of my mother. There was no way I was going to lose Colin too.”

“When did your mother stop drinking?” she asked.

“A neighbor took her to church one Sunday and she found God. Then he took her to her first AA meeting. She’s been sober for ten years and that helpful neighbor is my stepfather now.”

“A happy ending?” she asked.

“He’s a good guy. Solid. They got married the year I went to law school, so I didn’t have to worry about him trying to play daddy to me, but Colin was just at that age, you know? Teenage boys are crazy, but teenage boys with religious recovering-alcoholic moms and new know-it-all stepfathers are absolutely impossible.”

“How would you know? You didn’t get to be a crazy teenager. You had to take care of Colin.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” he said. “We were both a wreck, but we held each other together. Taking care of him kept me from exploding, although I guess I’m not the exploding type. Colin, on the other hand, he’s always been a live wire, and when I got a scholarship and moved to Syracuse for law school, he didn’t have anybody to ground him anymore.”

Sean looked away, afraid to see the blame in her eyes. “I thought he would be fine. Mom was doing really well and she basically told me it was time to stop being so territorial about Colin, that he wasn’t my child, he was my brother and it was time to start acting like it.”

Olivia gasped. “Are you kidding me? If you hadn’t stepped up to the plate she wouldn’t have had a family to take care of when she stopped drinking.”

Her outrage made him realize how angry he had been with his mother. “But she was right. She was sober. She was stable. And if I didn’t step out of the way, she was never going to get her son back.” He sighed and looked down at her.

Her eyes were wide green pools. “I don’t like the look on your face. What happened?”

Sean shrugged. “Colin hooked up with a lousy crowd. His grades tanked.” He swallowed, remembering the last straw. “He came home with a tattoo. A piercing a few weeks later—you can imagine, just what you’d expect from a kid trying to get attention.”

“Did it work?”

“Sure, Mom and Dave kept getting stricter and stricter. Colin kept getting wilder and wilder.”

“What would you have done in their place?”

“Probably the same thing, but we had a bond. Mom and Dave didn’t have a prayer. I came home at Christmas and saw it wasn’t going well, but by the time the school year was over, Colin wouldn’t listen to me either.”

“What happened to your bond?”

He shook his head. “He was fourteen, just starting a new school, and I had left him with mom and squeaky-clean Dave and trotted off to law school thinking my work was done. I barely recognized him anymore. He’d practically turned into a thug. He hated the whole world and me along with it.”

“It ain’t easy being a teenager.”

“Or living with one. He got caught driving drunk when he was eighteen. It wasn’t the first time, and Mom and Dave kicked him out. Thank God I’m a lawyer, and I can pull a few strings once in a while. I managed to get him prosecuted as a youthful offender and he got three years probation. He lives with me now.”

“Some people would call that enabling.” Her voice was sleepy.

“Yeah, maybe,” he said, kissing her forehead. “But he’s a good kid, and I didn’t want him going to jail. I’ve been terrified for three years. Any little mistake would send him to jail, and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.”

“Is his time almost up?”

“This week. His last hearing is Wednesday.”

“Don’t you want to be there?” she asked.

Not
as
much
as
I
want
to
be
here
with
you.

He shook his head and she brought her arm up to clasp his shoulder and shifted. Now she was all but lying on top of him. Her body was warm and her breath was slow and even. He held her close and breathed the flowers in her hair. A small smile crossed her lips as her eyes drifted shut and she fell heavily into sleep. His heart ached.

Sean closed his eyes too, wanting to give in to his fatigue. But if he didn’t move now, he’d be out until morning and Olivia’s mother was sure to come knocking. Slowly, one limb at a time, he untangled their bodies, regretting every inch of chill that claimed him.

He covered her with the blanket at the end of the bed and flipped as much of the comforter over her as he could. He turned off the light and picked up his shoes. He walked quietly toward the door. The hallway was empty and the house quiet. He checked to make sure the door had locked behind him and ghosted down the hall to his own room. Once inside, he dropped his shoes by the door and stripped on his way to the bed. Crawling under the covers, he stretched out on his back and recalled the feel of Olivia, warm and trusting.