MageLife (44 page)

“Why not?”

“It's not mine to tell.”

“Oh. Do you think Vesic will tell me?”

“I doubt it. He likes you but secrets are what he thrives on.”

We walked gently through the remains of the forest. There wasn't much further to go before we would be out of it entirely. The mountains looming in the distance, every step we took taking us closer to my duty. Possibly to my death.

My sword weighed heavily on me. It was the symbol of what had caused all this. Sophia, Lyphia, Jase and Airis all waited on my return and I couldn't even be certain I would return. My mission, I don't even know what I was supposed to do. Expand the reach of the council. Vague and unhelpful. Useless.

“Do you know what I should do when we get there?”

“Do you duty. That's what you mages are fond of saying isn't it?”

“I hate that saying, it’s useless.  Duty doesn't tell me anything. Do I do as instructed? Do I make it up as I go along?”

“Do what you feel you must. You have orders, follow them.”

“My orders don't cover anything. They are an end result they aren't instructions.”

“Tristan, I can’t help you. I have very little control of my own life, I share my mind and body with a god. I didn't choose that. You chose to be a mage, why?”

“I want to help people. I want the world to be better than it is. All I seem to be is make it worse.”

“Magic isn't a cure all. It's a wonderful dangerous thing. You can’t fix the world with magic. There is no magic wand that will make people’s lives better, people will always be people, they will lie and cheat they will hurt others you can’t fix that with magic.”

“Is magic harmful then?”

“Tristan think about it. You are in the perfect position to know if magic is good or bad.”

“It's a tool, it's the hand that wields it that defined if it is good or bad.”

“Yes it is. And the hand that wields it is mortal. Do you really think it makes things better or does it just cause more problems?”

“Both. It does both.”

“Like any tool. A sword is a tool. With it you can protect or destroy. You could go out and kill indiscriminately or you could deter an enemy from fighting in the first place. You have to think Tristan. There are no easy answers.”

“Magic helps people grow crops, it cleans water that would otherwise kill. It can heal.”

“And it can do what happened back there. It can perpetuate wars and change people. Power corrupts all things.”

“You think I'm corrupted?”

“No, not yet. I think you lean on your magic to cover for you. It's the first tool you reach for.  It’s all you know, and you think you can fix everything with it.”

I wanted to be able to argue with him but he was right. I tried to fix everything with magic. Even though I knew it wasn't the answer.

We fell into silence then. We just walked.

(---)

Dusk found us far from the forest. The mountains filled the sky. The air was cooling and bugs were flying around.

Brendon said, “Make camp. No magic. Vesic will be here and he wants to talk to you.”

I swallowed hard at the thought of getting chewed out by a god.

I looked around the plains didn't have any cover. I just dropped my bag and pulled out my blanket and food. I lay the blanket on the ground and sat eating the hard travel meat and bread.

Brendon was facing into the setting sun as I was starting to see was his habit. The transformation was different though, there was not gentle flowing into another form, this was savage. Actual sounds came from Brendon's body as it changed. On first look Brendon and Vesic were about the same size, it turns out they aren't. Vesic is a few inches taller and broader. The god was stretching Brendon's body like wet clay, with more crunch. The cracking of bones and the almost whimpering noises from their mouth made me want to go and help. But there was nothing I could do. There was no wound. No injury as such. There was just this transformation which if I understood Brendon correctly was natural for them.

I remained on the blanket. I felt like a coward but anything I could do was likely to make it worse.

“Tristan, you endangered my vessel. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“It was an accident.”

“Is that all you can say? Do you feel that that excuses you from responsibility?”

“No, that excuses nothing. It was a statement of fact. I didn't intend what happened.”

“Intent has nothing to do with it. Results are the core of this matter. Intent will not keep you alive in Nelar. Nor does it make amends for the damage you have done to Us.”

“Damage? What damage?”

“That is not for you to know. You owe amends.”

“How am I supposed to pay you anything? You are a god you want for nothing.”

“Not to me, to my vessel. He is a good man that is fulfilling my sworn word.”

“He may be a good man but I did nothing to him. He didn't need to.”

“Need doesn't matter either. You owe him, this might not be a huge debt if you resolve it quickly.”

“What does he want?”

“You will have to ask him.”

I nodded to signal my understanding.

“There is no sword training tonight. I wish to discuss something with you.”

I did my best to look attentive and to keep my mouth shut.

“Your ideas on transport are good, but you are out in the world now. The things you have been taught aren't all true here. There are large gaps in what you should know, that you just haven't been taught at all.”

“What am I missing? And why didn't I get taught all this?”

“Why? I'm not able to answer that but I have my suspicions. That won't help you. What you are missing is the shifting details. You can't be taught some of them in the class room. You have to learn them from experience. I know you don't understand sympathy.”

“I do actually. I just didn't realise I needed to keep it in mind already.”

“I don't care. I'm going to teach you now anyway. Sympathy is all about the likeness of things. Pieces of what was once one thing have large amounts of sympathy. Connected on a level most. Magical effects can travel between them easily, that is what happened today. Contagion. Effects have to be contained. Materials that you are familiar with reduced the risk of contagion. That's why you have never needed to think about it before. There is no room in this world for a thoughtless mage. You have too much power and the tendency to use it to remain a child.”

“I'm not a child. I have been through the academy. I passed all my classes.”

“Back in my day we didn't have an academy, but back then we didn't have all the fancy terms. We beseeched the spirits.”

“Back in your day? I don't know what you mean by that.”

“Gods don't just spring into being. We grow from a seed. I had a mortal life before.”

“There is life beyond death? We don't get taught that.”

“Why would you? Is it relevant to your duty? Does it have any real impact on your life?”

“It might. We weren't taught about ghost or reading. What were we taught? It seems there is a huge amount that is missing.”

“Your entire studies are to make it easy for you to use magic. Most of the non-magical topics get covered when you are beyond that stage. You never reached there. You don't have mage parents. You never served the nobles. You don't have the knowledge to understand most of the later topics.”

“How does not serving the nobles affect any of that?”

“You are the first of a new breed of mages. If they give you everything you won't think when you encounter these things. It may save events like today but you will become a rote mage, doing things out of habit and 'we were taught this.”

“They refuse to teach us just because of this?”

“Not just because of this, but just think for a moment. You have access to the archives. You can find out anything you want or need to for yourself. You don't need teaching beyond what you know. You need to be able to find knowledge for yourself.”

“But you are teaching me.”

“Yes I am teaching you now. Because you seem to have missed the point of your entire education. You spent years locked in the academy. You were taught to question. You were taught to find the answers for yourself. Why is it that once you get released you just accept everything as you find it?”

“Obedience was taught too.”

“Obedience has its place, but that doesn't mean your mind should be switched off. You have your reading. Look for answers. Look for questions. There is everything you need all around you. Now, how are you planning on dealing with transport? We have many miles to cover.”

“I tried to make a flying rock today, you know how that worked out. I don't know how to get there any quicker. Brendon keeps saying how using magic in Nelar is going to be a problem, but he won't say how. Until I know that I'm stuck.”

“Worry about Nelar when we get there. For now you should think carefully about a method of transport. I have some ideas.”

“Earth is about all I can use. Water isn't in abundance here and I need something solid to anchor it to.”

“You don't need anything to anchor it to at all. You can build the architecture. It doesn't need to be attached to anything. Why are you still thinking in elements? I thought they would break you of that.”

“It’s easier for me to think like that. Its how magic feels to me.”

“Easier? If you wanted easier you should have chosen another life. Learn to think boy.”

I do think, I just don't want to make mistakes.

“Mistakes are inevitable. You won't learn if you don't make mistakes. Fear of failure will limit you faster than anything else.”

“I don't fear failure. I fear the consequences of failure. People die. Things get destroyed.”

“Destruction is part of the natural order of things. Fearing it won't help you. While mistakes should be avoided, you will make them. Just accept it as part of your learning.”

“That's easy for you to say. I have to live with the consequences.”

“That isn't easy for me. You know nothing about me boy, but what I have told you.”

“Were you the mage king?” I asked remembering the dream.

Vesic said nothing. He turned away from me.

“Think through your options, work it out before you do anything,” he said. “Now get some rest. Brendon will discuss things in the morning. Keep in mind your debt to him.”

“I will. Good night,” I said laying down on my blanket and closing my eyes.

(---)

I dreamt of architecture. Concept forms and enchantments. My reading activated sometime during the night. Filling my head with energy patterns from all around me. The visions of before still lingered, but this area hadn't seen much activity of mortals. The weight of history was absent. I’d never even noticed how heavy it was in Westhaven. I didn't have the eyes to see it before, but my life had inured me to the worst of it. The daily rituals of civilisation left marks. The steps of men and women on their way to work. The little dramas of a bump in the street. The petty aggravations and grievances that build-up of the years, all these leave marks that can be read. That can force themselves into the mind, like a pebble in a shoe. Out here the world was shorn of that context. It was natural in a way I’d never really seen before. It was fresh and new born.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. My sleep hadn't been refreshing, I felt as tired as I had the night before, but I did have an idea. An enchantment. If it worked like I thought it would, we would be in Nelar by noon tomorrow.

I looked in my bag for anything that could be of use. The sword next to it glimmered in the pre-dawn light, cold and uncertain, like ice. Treacherous footing. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but the sword had a weight of expectation to it that sent shivers down my spine.

I did pack some blanks. Not many they aren't exactly cheap. But in my hunt for things I would need I'd realised that having something to enchant might help win the people of Nelar to the wizard cause. Seven small blank discs, I’d even remembered a healing charm that while not being a charm was well enough named. It would heal small wounds and injuries. It might even help with sickness. It was inert right now. Being small its ability to function for extended periods of time was limited. Better for it to be inactive than risk its architecture warping, it was always a risk for enchantments. Prolonged use or misuse, various environmental factors, even improper users could all damage the magical structures while leaving the physical intact and nothing to mark the damage. A large part of a Mage's workload was inspecting enchantments for damages. The sort of thing we do in the course of our normal duties. We go somewhere and while we are there we have a look around for any old degraded enchants. We normally report them and someone gets sent out to refresh them. There are a few occasions where we have to void them. Just to prevent harm.

I lay the blank discs in my hand, just looking at them. Their dull yet oddly reflective surface shone weakly in the light, somehow showing my face looking back at me. I closed my eyes and felt my way into the dense crystalline structure. Inside was nothingness, all feeling from my body dropped away. I floated without form in the light less void of its magical imprint, a sense of waiting came over me. The disc was waiting for purpose. I gave it purpose. I laid my specially constructed concepts, each one layered, a central core with webs of ideas and thoughts tangled in a complicated shaped like a woven spiders web twisted upon itself into a solid block. Gravity is a function of matter. Turning it to my own guidance was simple, although fine control is a different subject. I wove thread after thread of limitations and controls. The brilliant threads shone in the darkness a building web of light that surrounded me.

I blinked.

The day had truly begun whilst I worked in the blackness. The early sun shone down on my back casting shadows the earth. The blanks in my hand were no longer blank, their surface shimmered with glints of coloured light, like worms of lightning crawling over them.

I looked over to where I had seen Vesic last night, Brendon was in his place staring at the sun. As seemed to be his habit. I should really figure out what it was about the sun that affected Brendon and Vesic, this day/night cycle was strange.