Matthew's Mask [Lords of Hawksfell Manor 3] (Siren Publishing Menage Amour) (7 page)

Matthew faced the mirror again, seeing his brother as he had earlier. He turned away and sank back down into the chair. Posy and William were linked in his mind. Each had brought him such pleasure he’d been turned nearly inside out.

Had the earl really been with Posy? She wasn’t here a very long time before the man married, though. Maybe she’d just served as a maid for those few weeks. He laughed to himself. How long had he been near her last spring before he’d had to have her? Five minutes?

He’d talk to Gabriel and find out. If only for William’s sake.

“Yes,” he told himself. “For William’s sake.”

* * * *

“Posy, Lily has gone to the attics,” Mrs. Holmes said.

Posy looked up from her dusting to find the housekeeper watching her from the doorway of the parlor. “Is she ill?”

“Just a touch of Tilly’s cold, I believe. In any event, her ladyship needs you to get ready for dinner.”

Posy’s stomach churned. “Oh, the countess won’t want me!”

Mrs. Holmes stood up even straighter. “Nonsense. She needs a lady’s maid, and there is no one else to serve her tonight.”

Posy twisted the rag in her hands. “But her ladyship doesn’t care for me.”

“Whyever should that be?” Mrs. Holmes asked. “Do you not do your work?”

“Of course I do,” Posy murmured.

“I have never heard her or any other members of the household complain about your service. Why do you think she doesn’t care for you?”

Posy just raised her brows at the housekeeper. Surely she had heard the gossip Posy had never done anything to dispute. Surely she knew the countess believed Posy let the earl have his way with her more times than there were roses in the gardens.

To her surprise Mrs. Holmes rolled her eyes. “You are a good maid, Posy. You serve the house and see about your duties with no complaints from me or Mr. Carstairs or Mr. Grantley.”

“But the countess—”

“That’s enough now. I don’t believe tales carried downstairs need to affect service upstairs.” Mrs. Holmes nodded. “Do you?”

“No, Mrs. Holmes.”

“Then go change for afternoon service and see to the countess.”

Posy bobbed her head, and the housekeeper left her. “Bloody wonderful,” she grumbled.

As she went up the stairs to the attics, she saw a flash of black. Her heart dipped as she caught sight of William above her on the steps. She’d managed to avoid him for most of the past three days and nights, but apparently her luck had run out. Ducking her head low, she concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other until she saw William’s shoes on the step in front of her.

“Posy.”

There was a note of emotion in his voice, but she couldn’t quite place it. Her eyes traveled up his impeccable uniform to his face. His eyes were warm, but his brows were drawn together. Her breath caught. It was clear from his expression that something was troubling him.

“William, what’s wrong?” she asked.

He opened his mouth then shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted you to know…” He descended two more steps until they were nearly eye to eye. “I care about you, Posy.”

Her mouth dropped open. “You care about me?”

He touched her face, his fingers light on her cheek. “I needed you to know that.”

“Well, that’s it then.” She knew her voice was weak, but she couldn’t summon her usual cockiness. “We’re through.”

“Through?” He grabbed her shoulders. “Why are you saying that?”

“This sounds like good-bye.” She blinked back hot tears and pulled away from him. The stair railing dug into her back, but she ignored it. “It’s of no consequence, William. I’m off to take care of the countess, so I’m quite certain I’ll be sacked before sunset.”

“What? Why?”

Posy managed a smile. “You know what the countess thinks. What everyone believes.”

“You mean because you were with the earl?”

She threw up her hands. “I’m not going to talk about this. You believe what you want to. I have to go get ready for her ladyship.”

She pushed past him and hurried up the stairs. Tears clouded her vision as she stumbled up toward her room. It was her solace, for what little time she’d remain here at the manor.

After changing into her black afternoon uniform, she checked her appearance. The countess wouldn’t find anything wrong with her, on the surface anyway. Her blonde hair was scraped back into a simple bun, and her cap sat perfectly on top of her head. Her blouse was tucked neatly into her skirt, and her white apron was crisp. Her face wore an expression of deference, as she’d perfected over the past few months. She knew it didn’t matter a bit what she looked like or how she behaved now. The countess despised her and wanted her gone.

She rapped on the door to her ladyship’s room and took a deep breath. “Easy, Posy,” she said to herself as she wiped her palms over her apron. “Be calm and quiet. Be polite and efficient.”

“Come,” the countess said.

Posy pushed open the door and found Lady Hawksfell seated at her vanity. She looked beautiful without any help from her substitute lady’s maid. That was certain. Her shapely figure was clad in a slip just waiting for a corset and gown for dinner, and her golden hair needed to be dressed.

“I’m here to assist you, my lady,” Posy said.

The countess turned with a jerk. Her mouth dropped open. “Posy?”

“Yes, my lady.” Posy stepped into the room with her hands clasped in front of her. “Lily isn’t feeling well.”

Her ladyship’s mouth pursed, and she flicked her hair over her shoulder. “There’s nothing else for it then, is there?”

Posy kept her expression even. “No, my lady.”

The countess stood. “Then get me dressed. And use haste, please.”

Posy swallowed and hurried into the dressing room. A pretty gown of blue hung at the ready. She went through the underthings and retrieved a corset. Keeping her mouth shut, she helped dressed the countess. When her gown was fastened and smoothed, she stepped back.

“My hair,” Lady Hawksfell said. She sat at the vanity again.

Posy nodded and carefully styled her hair. She had smooth, shiny hair, and it wasn’t difficult to coax it into a stylish sweep and fasten it on top of her head. That was a very good thing, for Posy was having trouble keeping her hands steady. A string of beads finished the coif, and she stepped back.

The countess turned her head about as she looked in the mirror. “Very good.” The praise seemed to stick in the lady’s throat, but Posy accepted it with a nod nevertheless.

“Love, Michael and I are heading downstairs.” The earl stood in the doorway. “Hello, Posy.”

Posy bobbed a curtsey. “My lord.”

“That will be all, Posy,” the countess said. There was no mistaking the ice in her voice now.

“Yes, my lady.” She hurried past the earl and out into the relative safety of the hallway.

“Millicent, what’s wrong?” the earl asked.

Posy paused just outside the doorway, her heart pounding as she waited for Lady Hawksfell’s answer.

“You know full well, Gabriel.” She made a sound of exasperation. “I know what you did before Michael and me. But seeing that girl…How many times did you take her?”

Posy didn’t wait to hear what the earl said. Her cheeks flaming, she ran down the hall. She didn’t dare go downstairs and ready for dinner service. She didn’t dare go up to the attics and risk running into Lily or any other maid. So she just ran toward the rooms set at far side of the building.

And right smack into Matthew.

Chapter 7

“Posy!” Matthew held her arms, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Posy, what is it?”

She trembled in his hold as she shook her head. “I’ll never be free of it.”

“Of what?” He touched her chin and lifted her face. His dark Hawk eyes were intent. “What’s troubling you?”

She blinked back tears she couldn’t seem to stop. “It’s all my doing, of course. Cheeky parlormaid, flirting with every groom and footman. Worldly lover boasting of how many times the earl had her. And now I’m well and truly stuck.” She sniffed and rubbed a hand over her running nose. “And out of a job, most likely.”

He took her hands in his. “Your hands are ice cold.”

Drawing her closer, he wrapped her in his arms. He felt solid and warm, and she fought the urge to sink into him.

“Tell me what you’re talking about, love,” he said.

“Love.” The word was like a cruel taunt. She laughed without humor. “Love? Oh, what do I know about love?”

He looked down the long hallway she’d run then back down at her. “Where were you just now?”

“With the countess. I had to see to her tonight, and she wasn’t pleased.”

“Come into my room.” He drew her into his room and shut the door. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”

“Don’t you see? My lies have painted me with a stain so dark I can never be clean.”

He tilted a half-smile at her. “Now that’s very maudlin.”

Her lips turned up at the corners. “It’s true, nonetheless. I’m a whore in her ladyship’s eyes, and she won’t want me at the manor any longer.”

“How many times were you with my brother?”

She shook her head. “I’ve never been with the earl.”

His eyes rounded. “Truly?”

She sniffed. “You see? Everyone believes I’m a randy miss ready for a tumble. It’s what William thinks. And you, too, after the other night.”

“No, Posy. You were a virgin when I took you at the inn.”

“So I was.” He’d introduced her to passion, and she’d taken to it with enthusiasm. “What difference does that make now?”

He stared at her for a beat. “You never slept with my brother, then?”

She could hear the thread of hope in his voice and shook her head. “I eased him with my hand. One time. I boasted that he couldn’t get enough of me, though.” She rubbed her nose again. The tip was getting sore. “I don’t know why, but I liked the attention it got me.”

“The gossip?”

She shrugged. “It made me special, I guess. I was almost forgotten on my grandparents’ farm. It was nice to have attention. William seemed intrigued enough to give me a tumble.”

Matthew shook his head. “William doesn’t just tumble you, Posy. I know it.”

“What can you know? You’ve been here mere days, and I fell in with you right away. What does that make me if not a whore?”

He winced, and he held her close again. “Posy, you’re not a whore. I took your virtue, and you were then with William.” He chuckled, his chest vibrating against her cheek. “And with me again. That doesn’t make you a whore.”

“I was with William after you, too. The other night.”

“I know.”

“How do you know?” She bit her lip. “Never say you heard of it!”

“William told me.”

“He told you?” She pulled back to stare up at him. His cheeks reddened. Had his conversation with William been that embarrassing? Or worse, had they argued? “Why? When?”

“He knew we were together and told me he was with you after.”

Her throat grew tight. “I am a fool, then. I gave myself to you both, yet there’s no future for me with either of you.”

He grew quiet, and she wished she could pull back her words.

“A future?” he asked.

She froze then pulled out of his grasp. “I didn’t mean to say that!” she cried. “Please don’t think I’m trying to trap you, my lord.”

He scowled. “Don’t call me that, damn it!”

She gasped.

“I’m sorry.” He took a breath. “Look, I don’t know what my own future holds, but I want you to be in my life.”

“Oh, you do?” She put on her best randy expression and eyed him up and down. He grew visibly bothered, and she felt a surge of the only power she really possessed. “As your mistress? I admit that would be a sight better than taking care of others, but as much as I enjoy our coupling I couldn’t do that.”

“Coupling?” He swallowed audibly. “Is that what you call it?”

She shrugged and struck a pose that showed her body to advantage. The moment his Hawk lusts began to stir she knew. She wouldn’t mistake it for affection, any more than she would take William’s declarations of caring for her as love.

“I can please you, Matthew. You like to fuck me. What is that beyond coupling?”

He held his hands in fists at his sides. “And what is it between you and William, then?”

William.
William, that sweet man who always seemed to know just how to touch her. William, in whose arms she found contentment now and then beyond any “coupling.”

“William likes to get his cock polished, is all.” The words stung, but she knew them to be true. “He’ll move on to another maid when I’m gone.”

“When you’re gone? Where would you go?”

“Back to the farm, I guess.” Anguish filled her heart to even consider leaving William and Matthew. She didn’t know precisely when they became connected but reasoned she could time it to the moment she made love to William after loving Matthew. “Ruined and alone. Now I’m being quite maudlin.”