Read Maybe Tonight Online

Authors: Kim Golden

Tags: #FICTION / Romance / Multicultural & Interracial, #FICTION / Contemporary Women, #FICTION / African American / Contemporary Women, #FICTION / Literary, #FICTION / General

Maybe Tonight (2 page)

BOOK: Maybe Tonight
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3
CLARITY

Mads woke first, unused to sleeping in the same bed with someone else. He wasn’t sure how long he’d slept but he woke before her, his naked body still cocooning hers. The air in her hotel room was thick and heavy despite the open windows. Heat rose from their bodies but he felt no desire to move. Instead, he held her closer to him and pressed his dry lips to her bare shoulder. She murmured, still caught in sleep. Her right hand fluttered, then stilled.

My God…she is beautiful.
It was all he could think as he watched her and held back from touching her. If he touched her, he knew he’d want to make love to her again. She made a tiny noise in her sleep and rolled over on her left side. A thin line of sweat trickled down her back. He moved closer to her. Lifted her curly hair off her neck and breathed in the scent of her.

Last night, they’d come back to her hotel room and fucked. The first time…that was what it was all about, tearing down walls between them erasing everyone who’d ever come before and releasing this need. At first, she’d looked dazed, stunned even that it had all happened so quickly. He didn’t blame her. He’d never felt that drawn to anyone before. Not to his ex-wife, not to the Brazilian girl…not any of the women he’d tried to date and realized there was no connection… but with her, something flared so brightly.

After the third time she’d laughed and said, “You’re wearing me out…” and the way she smiled at him, the way she kissed the tip of his nose and tucked strands of damp hair behind his ear, made him fall a little deeper in…lust? Love?

Was she like that with the man she lived with? He knew she was not technically single. She’d told him that from the very beginning. She’d gone to the mingle to find someone to help her have a baby. But she’d looked so lost, and then she’d confessed—was it between their first and second time, or the second and third time?—that her partner didn’t want to have a baby with her. She’d said it in such a hushed voice. She hadn’t looked him in the eye. But he heard the hurt in her voice, saw it in the tension knotting her along her shoulders, And there was something in the way she pretended this didn’t bother her that let him know she was just as lost as he was. Both of them, soldiering on, pretending their lives were perfectly fine when really they were empty inside.

“Why do you stay with him?”

He’d asked without thinking her reply might not be what he wanted to hear.

“Sometimes he makes me feel safe,” was her answer but she hadn’t sounded very sure of it. She wanted to feel safe, she told him. He made her feel like she had a home, someone who wanted to be with her, who wanted to come to her. She’d never had that in her life, not until she met Niklas and now even being with him didn’t make her feel safe any longer.
“I think he’s still in love with his ex-wife,” she said And when Mads gently brushed her hair from her face, she looked up at him with such trust.

“I could make you feel you safe,” he whispered in her ear. Her fingers tightened around his. He heard her gasp.

That was when it shifted. When she relaxed in his arms and her body became languid, sleek and malleable. She moved when he moved, gave in to his kisses with no hesitation. She opened her body to him and he took and took.

How long could they go one like this?

She stirred slightly, her face turning to his, her lips brushing his. The tip of her tongue slid between his lips and then it started again. The rush of heat, his blood racing through his veins, his cock thickening at the thought of sliding inside of her again. He kissed her deeply, his hands sliding over her full breasts, her taut nipples.

Mads pulled back. Laney opened her eyes, she blinked, still unfocused, as she stretched.

“What time is it?” she murmured against his lips.

“I don’t know…early. Sun’s up already.”

“Could we..? Again” She sucked on his lower lip, lightly, just enough pressure to make him moan. Her fingers slid through his hair as she moved against him.

He’d do anything she wanted.

Anything.

As soon as he saw her, he knew this time would be different. She hadn’t worn that hungry look he’d seen in the faces of so many prospective clients. She’d lingered by the door to the terrace as though it would provide an excellent escape route. And when Ida introduced him, the sudden jolt of recognition that charged through him—he’d seen her before. The beautiful girl who’d stopped to adjust her scarf, who’d looked up and stared at him through the window—had she really seen him?

And Ida, prattling on about Laney—that was her name, he knew it now—and how she was an American living in Sweden, how she was thinking about going through the process. Laney smiled uncertainly. She raised her empty wine glass to her lips and paused, suddenly remembering there was nothing left to drink.

The air between them crackled and sparked. Somehow Ida never noticed. Not when she tried to manage their conversation, not when Mads excused himself to get more drinks for them nor when he returned and Laney’s fingers lingered over his as she accepted the newly-filled glass.

Of course Ida didn’t notice. She was focused on their getting along so she could get her commission. That’s all any of this was for her. She’d told Mads this so many times. The commissions were all that mattered if you were a client services facilitator. Hook up the right client with the perfect donor. Make sure everyone got on and then charm the clients into paying the fee for the donation. If they ended up with a baby nine months later, all the better. She got another commission, so did the donor.

She’d left them alone together, satisfied Mads and Laney were perfectly compatible, getting along. Of course she didn’t sense any charge in the air. But Mads…his every nerve was attuned to Laney and when she said she wanted to get some air, he took a chance.

That was how it all started. A pack of cigarettes, a velvety night in that summer that felt as though it would be endless. A spark that ignited from their fingertips. A kiss he should not have stolen but couldn’t resist. A touch too intimate for strangers but that felt so right.

It branded them both.

“I should go…” she’d said but she didn’t push his hands away, didn’t try to escape.

You’re mine
, he wanted to tell her, but the brazen intensity of his words startled him. If he was ill-prepared for it, she would be too.

4
LAST CALL

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“Of course you can.” Ida barely looked up from her telephone as she tapped in another message. “It’s good money.”

“Ida, listen to me. I mean it.” Mads shifted forward in his chair. He rapped his knuckles on the tabletop to get her full attention. “I met someone.”

“Good for you!” Ida clicked send and then stashed her phone in her bag. “Trine told me she had someone she wanted you to meet.”

“I didn’t meet her through Trine.” Mads scratched his cheek. How could he get her to understand? The words felt thick in his mouth. “It doesn’t matter how I met her. I met someone, and I want to give it a chance.”

Ida flagged down a waitress and then ordered another round of beers for them.

Mads was glad for the distraction, even if he knew this was the right thing to do. Thoughts of Laney still occupied too much of his mind. He knew if he closed his eyes, he’d see her as she looked, lying beneath him, her soft lips slightly parted as she whispered his name. He bit his lower lip and shook his head. No, better not to think of her right now.

“I don’t know if it’s permanent, but I want to go inactive for a while.”

“You’re serious?”

Mads nodded. “I can’t…I can’t go to these mingles and pretend it’s not like dating when I am trying to be with someone.”

“But you’ve dated before and still been active.”

“I know, but this time it’s different. It feels different.”

“Who is she?”

“Why?” He held his ground. He knew how she’d react if he told her the truth. Ida would only focus on the money lost, not their friendship or how he felt.

“Sheer curiosity.”

“Come on, Ida, you said if I ever needed to go inactive that all I had to do was tell you. Well, now I’m telling you.”

“Sorry, sorry, you’re right.” Ida acquiesced. “It’s none of my business.”

“Just trust me on this, Ida. I need time to see where this is going. ”

Afterwards, he walked along Nyhavn and imagined Laney was walking beside him. The warm night air settled around him, reminding him of that night when she came into his life. He’d see her again soon, though not soon enough.

Maybe one day the Øresund Strait wouldn’t separate them. Maybe tomorrow she’d feel it as strongly as he did–this need to be together with no one standing between them. He wouldn’t push. He would let her make up her mind.

Around him night revelers laughed and called out greetings. Just ahead he could see the cream-colored facade of Hotel D’Anglaterre and the Royal Danish Theater. He stopped at the crossing and waited for the light to change. He should have been scared by the uncertainty of their connection. Was it just good sex? Did she only call him back because she felt obligated?

Maybe it didn’t matter. Just then, it felt like they had all the time in the world to figure it out, to get it right.

5
UNTIL SHE COMES

The waiting was the most difficult part. Waiting for her phone calls and text messages. Waiting to know when she would be able to get away. She is worth it became his mantra. She is worth all the waiting.

When he met Adam for after work beers, he tried not to check his phone too often.

But that night, as the two men debated the merits of craft beer versus the usual Carlsberg and Tuborg, Mads couldn’t concentrate. His eyes strayed to the phone’s blank display one time too many.

“Don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t glance at your phone again until you tell me what’s going on.” Adam grabbed Mads’ iPhone. “I should just scroll through your messages…”

“No, don’t.” Mads grasped Adam’s wrist. “Don’t.”

“So tell me then.” His friend smiled that lopsided, toothy smile and wriggled his eyebrows.”You haven’t been this antsy since the Brazilian girl…”

“I was never antsy with her.”

Adam snorted. “Sure you were. I was there, remember?”

“I don’t remember being any different…”

“You weren’t this bad, but you kept checking your phone, if she was supposed to meet us somewhere you’d keep looking over your shoulder for her.” Adam reminded him. “So what gives? Who is she?”

“Her name is Laney.” Saying her name brought a smile to his face. He grinned. “She’s an American I met at one of the mingles.”

“Wait…I thought you weren’t allowed to date those women.”

“We’re encouraged not to, but there’s nothing in the contract…”

“But she’s married, right? Aren’t they always when they’re at those gigs?”

“She’s not married.”

“Is she in a relationship then? I thought most of the women who showed up at those parties were in relationships.”

“She’s living with someone, but she says she’s not so sure about it anymore.”

“That’s dangerous territory there, my friend,” Adam warned. “If she’s still with someone, you’re the one who could end up getting fucked over at the end of the day.”

“I know…”

“Is she worth it?”

Mads stared down at his hands. He remembered the softness of her skin. After they’d made love, she’d curled against him, her head resting in the crook of his neck, and he’d felt like he’d come home. He wanted to feel like that again.

“I think so. And I think she feels the same.”

“So when will you see her again?”

“That’s the million kroner question.” He gestured at his phone. “I’m waiting for her to let me know.”

“You won’t get anywhere waiting.”

“She’s in Stockholm. She’s not here in Copenhagen.”

“It’s an hour’s flight. If she likes you enough, she can come whenever she feels like it.”

Adam relinquished Mads’ phone and slid it across the tabletop. Laney’s name blinked in the display as the ringtone sounded.

Grabbing the phone, Mads stood a little too quickly. He nearly tripped over his feet as he excused himself and walked a distance away for privacy. He leaned against the building’s faded terracotta facade and pressed answer.

“Hi…”

“It’s me.” Her voice sounded so close. If he closed his eyes he could picture her as she’d looked the morning after. Her dark hair fanned out across the pillow, her bee-stung lips begging to be kissed. “I just wanted to tell you…I can come. If you still want me to.”

“I do.”

Did he imagine her relieved sigh?

“So…on Friday afternoon, I’ll be there.”

“What time?”

“My flight lands at two.”

“I’ll be there. Which airline?”

“SAS. I don’t remember the flight number.”

“That’s okay. When your flight lands, I’ll be there waiting for you.”

“Mads?”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“So…Friday.”

“Friday…I’ll be there, Laney.”

Saying her name settled him. He would see her again. He would hold her again and all of the uncertainty would disappear, even if only for a while. They said reluctant goodbyes. Laney sounded as though she wanted to say more but then an unfamiliar male voice in the background put a stop to whatever she’d wanted to say. Instead, Mads heard a strange rustling and then “I’ll be right there, Niklas…” When she came back to the phone, she whispered an apology. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you Friday.”

Mads pressed “end” and slid his phone in the back pocket of his jeans. He strode back to the table where Adam waited. He knew his friend was curious. Would want to know all the details but would not ask.

A new pint of dark beer awaited him. He took a swig of it as soon as he sat down and savored the thick bitterness of it as it slid down his throat.

“So she’s coming?” Adam lit a cigarette and took a drag.

“On Friday.” Mads said.

“Just be careful,” Adam reminded him. “You’re the one who could get hurt the most in all of this.”

Mads nodded, but a voice inside him counted with “We both could.”

For a little while, that phone call, the softness of her voice and knowing he would see her soon, was enough to keep him focused.

It won’t always be like this
, he thought.
One day soon she’ll know what she wants, who she wants. I just hope it’ll be me
.

BOOK: Maybe Tonight
4.26Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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