Mend the Seams (13 page)

And the worst it is.

My eyes skate around the room nervously when they suddenly land on the mantle. A gold foil envelope rest against the candlestick. I climb off the couch, snatching the envelope from the mantle, ripping it open instantly. The paper is classy and rich with a gold trim. Neatly printed in bold it reads:

“For your sins will be extinguished in the flames of my wrath.”

I read the words over and over, trying to make sense of the passage, when suddenly it all becomes perfectly clear.

Of all the time I’ve known Drew Varney, the side that I’m seeing of him now terrifies me. He’s always been kind and endearing, but seeing his true colors, the monster within him is eye opening. I guess I was always blind to the ugliness of the world, living with rose colored glasses because the darkest evil has lived among me my entire life and I never realized it.

I have no idea how Drew got inside my home, but realizing he has access to my life so easily panics me.
How did he get a key? How many times has he been inside of my house? Why is he taunting me like this? How can I protect my children when he’s unescapable?
  A manic frenzy ensues as my feet move on their own accord, shuffling back and forth across the hardwood floors, muttering to myself. I pace and I pace, then sit when my legs grow tired, staring into the fiery flames, then continue to pace to steady my thoughts. I cry as fear of the unknown grasps me.
What the hell is this supposed to mean?

“For your sins will be extinguished in the flames of my wrath.”

I search through my memory, going back to the night Drew appeared on my porch swing.

“Savannah, heed my warning. I know what’s best.”
I remember him saying, urging me not to visit Josh at the county jail. Was this his subtle way of threatening me for going against his will? Why did it matter if I visited Josh? My mind swirls back and forth, trudging through muddled thoughts as I try to process everything. This is one sick and twisted game they’ve been playing and I still can’t wrap my head around any of it.

A shrilling buzz startles me and I stop mid-stride listening cautiously for the sound. Beams of golden sunlight sparkle against the ceiling and I realize I’ve paced the floors lost in thought and terror all night long. The alarm on my phone continues to shrill so I pad over to the coffee table switching it off.

I waste no time starting our morning. I wake the kids up with my usual singsong “Goood Moooorrrnning!” careful not to alert them to my worry. I cook them breakfast, chocolate chip waffles and turkey bacon, complete with apple juice and grapes. After packing their lunches and gathering their backpacks I drive them to school, carrying on our morning routine like always. Only today, I’m cautiously glancing over my shoulder looking for Drew. Every black vehicle that approaches causes my heart to flutter, then I remember Drew doesn’t have just one vehicle and he’s likely to be driving any of them.

Pulling in the drop off lane, I kiss both the kids and promise to pick them up as usual. Part of me wants to take them back home, lock them away in my bedroom with me protecting them the best way I know how, but I know that’s not the logical thing to do. I can’t evoke any more fear in the kids than what they already deal with. They hop out of the SUV and make their way up the sidewalk waving cheerfully as they enter the school. I know they’re safe there. The school remains locked at all times and Drew has never been on their approved sign out list. There has never been any reason warranted for him to be. Besides, I know in my heart that as twisted as he may be, he’d never do Brailee and Braden any harm….
would he?

Just how deep seated is his hatred for our family? How corrupt and deranged is he to continue these games, as if toying with peoples’-innocent children’s’ – lives is acceptable? I want to confront Drew and demand answers from him, but he’s played this game so long, approaching him will only play me into his hands. It will show him that he’s induced the fear he seeks from me and he’ll gain far too much pleasure from such a simple, innocent act.

I consider taking the letter to the police, but Drew has half the County and State Police in his back pocket. Besides, there is no way to connect the letter directly to him, right now this is merely an assumption.
Don’t wanna make an ass of ya self there, sweets.

Pulling into Carly’s driveway, I throw the SUV in park quickly before jumping down and racing inside her house without knocking.

“Well come on in, Sis. Door’s open!” She says sarcastically. She places Ryleigh down in the swing and sways over to the kitchen to gather some coffee for us.

The words just spew from my mouth like projectile vomit and the more I talk, the louder I get. The louder I get the angrier I become. Carly stares at me wildly, allowing my tantrum to continue until the sobs break free and not a word I speak can be understood. I have no idea how long I last, but right now as goose bumps blanket my flesh and the fear clutches me so fiercely that icy shivers rack my body – I feel completely insane – unhinged like a mad woman. I’ve consumed all my weak body can manage and like a Roman candle on Independence Day I burst into a thousand different directions, lighting up crazily with my flood of emotions.

“You have got to catch your breath and explain to me what happened.” She pleads with me and when I open my mouth to speak the words refuse to come, but the tears continue to fall. I ball up in the corner of the couch, wrapping my arms around my knees securely and let my imagination run freely. All I see is the wild flames dancing freely in the fireplace.

“Savannah.” I hear Carly call out to me, but I don’t have the strength to reply. “SAVANNAH! Damn it, look at me.” My eyes trail to hers and apparently, whatever she sees scares her shitless. She grabs the phone off the end table and I can hear her yelling into the receiver, huffing in frustration when Ryleigh begins to whimper. She slams the phone down, then gently picks Ryleigh up from the swing and bounces on the balls of her feet as she hums sweetly, patting Ryleigh’s tush. I watch her prance around, swaddling the baby closely to her chest.

It’s a mesmerizing beauty, watching a Momma interact so lovingly with her child. We’re created with an instinct to protect our babies regardless of what harm they may cross. I feel helpless because I’m so unsure of what we face. Drew is unpredictable.

Once she’s confident that Ryleigh is resting, she disappears down the hallway but returns only moments later. She rakes her fingers through her hair, then ties it on top of her head in a messy pony tail. She kneels in front of me and gently brushes the hair from my face. “Sis, you’re scaring me. I think you need some help. Please tell me what I can do to help, Savannah.” Her tone is saddening and I know Carly would walk through Hell’s fire and brimstone for me and my kids, but there is something about that tone, perhaps the pity in her voice that sets me ablaze.

Springing from the couch I laugh manically, suddenly finding my voice. I throw my hands in the air and give that verbal vomit a second try, but this time there is no mistaking my words. They ring out clear as crystal, spit with poisonous venom. “Help? You think I need some help? Well aren’t you oh so frickin’ clever, Carly! YES. I need help! I possibly need a damn padded room, a Straight jacket too! How the hell could I not with everything I’ve been through. I’m literally falling apart at the seams and the worst part of it all is I have no one here to catch me.”

“Savannah, please for the love of God and all things holy, tell me what has you so distressed. I understand things are rough right now but you will get through it! You -”

“Get through it?” I cut her off barking my words at her harshly. “Carly, a flat tire, you get through. Fallin’ on hard times, you get through. But when you’re bein’ drowned at the bottom of the damned barrel and each time your body surfaces to the top you’re shoved back down only to suffocate until you begin to fade…please tell me how the hell you get through that?”

Carly stares back at me with wide eyes, but she never says a word. My feet begin to carry me, trailing that same path I trailed last night, wearing damn holes in the carpet as the cluttered thoughts slip from my tongue in low whispers. I hear a rumble in the distance growing closer, but I dismiss it as an eighteen wheeler haulin’ a load. The screen door slams and I hear Colton yell, “What the hell is goin’ on?” as Carly shuffles alongside him. I pay him no mind, just continue to pace, trying to figure out how to keep my kids safe.
How did I get into this mess again?
I hear faint whispers then stomping against the floor.

Suddenly Colton grips my arms in his hands, pulling me roughly towards his chest. My eyes grow wide and fearful as I gaze up at his chocolate brown eyes. His eyes are full of anger and worry, reflecting my own. “What’s goin’ on with you, Savannah? You gotta talk to me.” My eyes feel puffy and tired. I know I should answer Colton, but I’ve told Carly what was wrong twice and she won’t listen. Why the hell should I repeat myself? “C’mon, girl. You gotta talk to me.” I stare back at him as my body shakes like a leaf, fear trembling all through me so hard my teeth clatter together.

He keeps his grip on my arms and pulls me over to the couch, down beside him. “She’s freezing to death. Get her a blanket, Carly Jo. Has she said anything?” Colton asks her, rubbing his large hands up and down my arms.

“She just busted in here and started yelling. Then she balled up and began to cry.” She reaches Colton a blanket and he raises me forward, wrapping it around me before tucking me back into his side. “When I tried to talk to her she flipped out, shoved me back on my ass and started yelling about Josh, Drew and Luke. Nothing she was saying was making sense. She said men all continue to fail her and they’re all unsafe. I don’t know what she means, Colton, but I’m so worried about her. Should we take her to the hospital?”

Colton shakes his head to Carly, then grips my chin in his hand forcing me to look at him. He glares down at me scanning my eyes back and forth. “Savannah, when did you last sleep?”

I open my mouth to answer him, but my response is slurred and inaudible.

“Damn it, Savannah, answer me.” Colton shakes me roughly and I shrug my shoulders because the words won’t release on their own and I honestly don’t remember sleeping. “Woman, you’re in there. I know you are. Did you sleep last night?” I shake my head no.

“Good girl. Are you scared, Savannah?”

I shake my head yes.

“What happened? I need you to talk to me or I can’t protect you.”

“Drew. Fireplace,” I choke back a sob that hiccups in my throat.

“Drew?” I nod and Colton’s lip tips up slightly, pleased that he’s finally getting a response from me. “What did Drew do?”

“Fireplace. In my house.” My breathing hitches as another sob chokes its way out and Colton tightens his grip around my shoulders, silently telling me I’m safe.

“Was Drew in your house, Savannah?” I nod my head urgently and the sobs take over. Colton’s eyes draw into tiny slits as rage begins to seep from his pores. Heat radiates around him as his fury ignites. “Make her some tea, then put her in Heidi Jo’s bed. I don’t want her out of this damn house.” Carly nods, making her way into the kitchen. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Momma will pick all the kids up from school. Keep the doors locked and I mean it when I say I want her in the bed, sleeping. She’s wore herself into exhaustion and I’m damn sure she’s in shock right now.” Colton stands up from the couch, then crouches before me, taking my face in his hands. “Savannah, listen to me. I want you to lie down and sleep. You’re safe here, I promise you that. I’m gonna take care of everything, just stay here and please rest. Your kids need you healthy, okay?” I nod my head and Carly sits beside me, placing a cup of tea in my hands.

“Colton, where are you going?” She asks him as he approaches the front door.

“Goin’ by Savannah’s house to change all the damn locks first off. After that, I ain’t made up my mind yet.” I can hear the fury in his deep voice. Carly’s spine stiffens and I know she fully understands his reply.

“Colton, damn it! Please don’t go do anything stupid. You have a family to think of!” Carly yells at him, her eyes filling with tears.

“No promises, darlin’. I’ll be back shortly. Do what I said.” And with that he’s gone, slamming the door behind him, leaving a trail of coal dust in his wake.

I woke up this morning fighting for oxygen. At first, I thought it was the usual sensation of waking up from the same dream I’ve dreamt over and over, but then I realized I didn’t dream about Alyson and Sawyer’s death last night. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, I scan back through my memory trying to piece together my dream so I can make some sense of this gnawing feeling I woke up with. I see flames and panic. Something feels strange, but for the life of me I can’t clutch my clarity enough to gain a clear sight of this intuition.

Carryin’ on about my day, I fix a few things around Momma’s house just to kill time. I’m gettin’ antsy sittin’ here in Lexington, and although I’m not ready to go back to Williamstown and face Savannah, I know I gotta eventually put one foot in front of the other and go after the happiness I want.

I finish up my handyman tasks, then decide to grab a quick shower. I set the shower to warm up then undress. Catchin’ a glance of my grizzly untrimmed beard, I consider shavin’ but decide to leave it for another day. As the white fog envelops the room, I step in the shower and immediately begin to suffocate as the heat and steam of the shower take my breath away. I turn the temperature down, then rest my head against the cool ceramic tiles while I steady my breathing. I can hear my heart thudding wildly in my ears and my chest is tight and painful. Pinching my eyes closed I slowly repeat the fifty states in alphabetical order. Once the panic attack subsides I inhale a calming breath then wash off.

Pullin’ on my ragged jeans and a dark grey tee-shirt, I head into the kitchen to find some lunch. Momma made a plate of leftovers for me in the fridge, so I warm that up. I flip the TV on and scan through the channels boringly while I eat. Nothing catches my interest so I flip the TV off and eat in silence. It’s so quiet that the usual peaceful calm in the air is replaced with urgency. Scrubbing my hand over my face, I try to pin point whatever it is that I’m feelin’ but I’m comin’ up short.

The phone rings, startling me from thought. I glance at the caller id to see an eight hundred number flash across the screen. Damn telemarketers will nag the hell outta anyone they get a number for. I answer the phone, screwin’ around with the caller briefly. He’s offering a free installation of a high end security system for only one hundred ninety nine dollars down and thirty seven dollars monthly maintenance fee. I kindly object his offer, knowin’ good and well he’ll urge me to purchase, tryin’ to work his magic with the way of his words. And he does. I tell him I have a few security systems in place already – an American bulldog named King and Old Faithful. He proceeds to ask, with a slight chuckle, who is Old Faithful. I reply, “Glock nine, fully loaded one in the chamber. Clear shot, too. So you can keep that thirty seven dollar monthly maintenance plan because my Old Faithful will only cost me a few pennies if King don’t finish ‘em off first.” Ain’t never heard the lifeless ding of a dial tone so quick in my life. I enjoy a good laugh outta it.

Placin’ the phone back on the receiver a thought occurs to me. I ain’t seen my cell phone since I got here. I go into the bedroom and check my duffle bag but come up empty, so I search out the truck. Sure enough it’s wedged down between the seats. Pressing the power button, the battery symbol flashes informing me that it’s dead. Should have assumed as much. I grab the extra charger from the glove box and head back inside to charge up my phone.

I plug the phone into the charger and it dings to life instantly. Ping after ping roll in, and I know immediately this is all Savannah. Leavin’ without an explanation I’m sure I hurt her feelings. I’ll explain it all in time when I’m good and ready. I scan through the notifications to find a mass of missed calls and messages:
Figured you’d stopped by tonight? Find another damsel? Where are you? Luke, are you okay? We’re cookin’ out at Carly’s if you wanna join us. Where are you? I miss you
and a few others. The one that sticks out to me is the last one,
I miss you
, but it’s dated over a week ago. Damn, I sure hope she ain’t too upset with me.

Just then my phone pings again and a slight sliver of hope swells up in my chest. I open the messenger app and my heart plummets to the pit of my stomach when Colton’s name flashes across the screen.

I don’t know where your dumb ass is, but the woman you’re runnin’ from needs you and I’m pretty sure her needs are far greater than whatever the hell has you runnin’ scared.

Savannah needs me? Colton knows what I came to Lexington for. Something has had to have happened for him to send a message like that. Without a second thought I pounce to my feet and begin to throw all my shit in my duffle bag. I press
TALK
next to Colton’s name and wait impatiently for him to pick up.

“Where the hell you at?”

“What’s wrong? Is Savannah okay?”

“Don’t answer my frickin’ question with a question, you dumb ass.”

“Colton, damn it I’m in Lexington. What the hell is wrong?”

“Savannah’s in a bad way. I’ve done changed the locks at her house and Carly managed to get her to go to sleep, but this shit ain’t good.” Damn it! I knew better than to stay gone for so long.

“I’ll be there in an hour. Where the hell is she?” I bark into the phone.

“She’s at my house right now.”

That’s all I need to hear. I press
END
on the phone without offerin’ another reply. Tossin’ my bag in the back seat I fire up the engine, slammin’ the gear shift in drive then haul ass home to save my woman.

Thirty eight minutes later I slam my truck in park and nearly rip the door frame from the jamb trying to get in Carly’s house. The door’s locked, so I rap my knuckles across the glass gently and wait impatiently. Thirty seconds later I knock again, a little harder. The door pulls open wide and Carly’s brow quirks up. Yeah, I’m sure they both have questions, but right now seein’ that Savannah’s safe is far more important than my whereabouts.

“Beauts, where is she?” I ask, brushin’ past Carly.

“Well hello to you, too, ass wipe. She’s sleeping, so if you don’t mind keepin’ it down?”

“How long she been asleep for?”

“Four hours maybe? I don’t know. This morning is all a blur. Want some coffee? You look like you could use it.”

“Yeah, sure. Care to fill me in on what the hell’s goin’ on?” Carly shrugs her shoulders as she waits for the cup to fill up. “Don’t give me the silent treatment, beauts. I know I didn’t tell ya where I was goin’, but you’ll understand once I explain it.” She places the cup of coffee in my hand, a small smile playing on the corner of her lip.

“That’s fine, Luke. I really don’t know what’s goin’ on. She barged in here this morning yelling, crying, and panicked. She was all over the place. Colton had to leave work to come calm her down. All I got outta her was Drew was in her house. Colton left to change the locks and I ain’t seen him sense.” She glances down at the screen of her phone, rolling her eyes. “Figured I’d at least have gotten the call to bail him out by now. Unless he’s still hiding a body, of course. Maybe a few more hours?”

“That shit ain’t funny, Carly.” I chide her. Shit couldn’t have got this real this fast. Hell I wasn’t gone no more than two friggin’ weeks.

“Not funny at all, Luke, but you know Colton frickin’ Weston will do whatever it takes to protect his family. That includes Savannah and the kids.” I know Colton’s protective of his family, but I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy that he was the one Savannah had to turn to today in her state of distress.

“Do you mind if I just peek in on her. I know she’s safe if she’s with you, but I need to see her for myself.” Carly tips her head towards the hallway and I spring up to my feet in a hurry to check on her. I firmly grip the door handle, easin’ it open quietly. Savannah’s prone form is balled up under a mess of blankets and pillows, and I wouldn’t even be able to discern she is in fact in the bed if it weren’t for Carly reassuring me.

“She’s there, Luke. She was freezing, so I bundled her up. She’s always slept with a pillow smooshed over her face to keep the light outta her eyes. Guess it’s just become a comforting habit through the years. I’m sure she’ll wake up in a few hours. Just let her rest.” I nod, then pull the door closed.

I follow Carly back into the living room and drop down on the couch. I scrub my hand over my face in frustration, lettin’ out a breathy sigh. I can’t help but to feel defeated in this moment. I know I should have been here for Savannah, holdin’ her through this shit storm she’s been dragged into. I always show up where I’m needed, until it’s when I’m needed most.

All I know is Drew somehow got into Savannah’s house, but what happened thereafter is complete mystery. Colton was so pissed on the phone he gave very little details. So I just wait…and I’m not a patient person.

“I don’t need an explanation on where you’ve been, Luke. Just tell me that you’re home for good. ‘Cause if not, there’s really no point in showin’ up now, only to vanish silently again. Savannah doesn’t need that.”

I knew to be prepared for Carly’s third degree. She may be the little sister of the two, but she’s protective of Savannah.

“I know she don’t, beauts. Believe it or not, I left for her. But I promise ya, I’m here to stay.” I assure her.

“You’re fallin’ for her ain’t ya?” Carly asks with a playful smile tuggin’ up her lips.

“Don’t start this with me, beauts. Please.” Now she’s takin’ her third degree a bit too far. I know how I feel for Savannah, but I ain’t ready to voice it to anyone. When I am, Savannah will be the first to hear it.

“Luke, I don’t need you to tell me. I can see it written all over your face. The way you look at her, the way you touch her. The obsessive need to watch over her. It’s so evident. You look at her the way Colton looks at me. Savannah deserves your love, Luke. I just don’t know if she’s ready to receive it.”

“Lucky for her, I ain’t got nothin’ but time.” Carly doesn’t push any further. She understands what I’m sayin’ without me havin’ to actually say it, thankfully.

It isn’t long before the kids come in from school. Brailee’s eyes pop open wide when she spots me sittin’ on the couch. She drops her backpack on the floor and rushes over to the couch lockin’ her arms around my neck. I’m quite shocked by her reaction. Don’t get me wrong, she’s always been a chatty little bugger, but this display of affection is different. Welcome, but different.

Carly puts all the kids at the dining room table and busies them with their homework, offering them snacks to satisfy them ‘til supper.

“Where’s my momma?” Braden asks quietly, keeping his concentration on his work.

“She’s laying down in Heidi Jo’s room, sweets.” Carly replies.

“Why is she asleep? It’s almost supper time.” He retorts, inquisitively.

“She just wasn’t feelin’ good, Braden. She’ll be awaken in a few hours.” Braden nods at Carly, but I can see the worry fill his eye. He knows it’s uncharacteristic.

I hear Colton’s truck pull in the driveway and I spring to my feet heading outside. He slaps the back of my shoulder and mutters, “Hey man,” Colton says as he steps up on the porch and begins to pull off his work boots.

“She’s still asleep. Know anything more than what you’ve told me?”

“There weren’t any signs of a break in, so only thing I can figure is Drew has a key. Won’t much matter now because I changed the locks and spent the last four hours upgradin’ the damn security system. They should be safe now, but I’m not sure she’ll be ready to go home for a few nights.” He scrubs his hand over his face, taking a deep pull of air. “She stayed a few nights last week, but she’s quiet and stays off to herself. Carly tried to talk to her, but she just kept changin’ the topic. She’s closin’ herself off. But to be honest with ya, Luke, I think you leavin’ may have been the worst thing possible for her.”