Mend the Seams (14 page)

I can’t help but to hang my head low in shame. Colton dismisses our conversation and walks inside the house accepting the warm greetings of his family. Their smiles are contagious and it’s touching to see so much happiness from one family. I envy this. I crave this.

After dinner, Carly carries on the evening with all the kids as if it’s her everyday routine, giving Colton and I the chance to talk. He tells me that he found a crumpled up note on the couch at Savannah’s house and that the message inscribed in the note alarmed him. He says that Savannah assumes the note was a message from Drew and that he showed up last week urging her not to go see Josh at the county jail.

“Did she ever go see him?” I inquire.

“Against our better judgment, she did. I understand that she’s tryin’ to move on, but I just couldn’t understand what seein’ him would do to persuade him to sign the damn paperwork.”

“I told her to go see him, Colton. She’s been strugglin’ to find her strength and I thought facin’ him would show her the finality of that part of her life.”

Colton nods. He makes light conversation with me about my trip to Lexington, askin’ about Momma and such. He tip toes around the real reason for my visit, careful not to rattle any memories I don’t need to focus on right now.

The kids come barrelin’ through the house, burst of squallin’ laughter filterin’ through the air as they chase each other around the furniture and back through the hallway. Their loud enough to wake the dead, and it’s only moments later that a sleepy Savannah comes trudgin’ through the living room rubbin’ her tired eyes. She heads straight to the Keurig to perk a cup of coffee. Once her mug is full she turns around, leaning against the counter and takes small sips, her eyes drifting closed as the warmth of the coffee spreads through her.

“Hey Sis, feelin’ any better?” Carly asks walkin’ into the kitchen.

“I guess. I don’t remember much of anything. Must have been pretty exhausted.” She shrugs.

Colton stands up and walks into the kitchen. “You’ll be safe now, Savannah. I changed all the locks and upgraded the security system at your house.” Hiding her face from their accusing eyes she mutters, “Thank you.”

“Go sit down and I’ll bring you a plate. I’m sure you’re famished, having not eaten all day.”

Savannah pads into the living room with her coffee cup clutched tightly in her hand, keeping her eyes cast down. She balls up in the corner of the couch pulling her knees up in her chest as she lays her head back, releasing a straggled sigh. She’s less than four feet away from me, just sittin’ on the other side of the couch, yet somehow she’s so caught up in her own head she didn’t even recognize my presence. Reaching across the couch I cup my hand over hers’ and say softly, “hey, sweetheart.” Her head snaps up, her eyes wide as saucers as she glares back at me. Judging by the strained look on her face and her mouth hangin’ agape, I’d say her breath must be caught in her throat. “Ya alright, Sav?”

She glances down at our conjoined hands offensively, then rips her hand from my hold placing it in her lap. “Hi.” She mutters, averting her eyes away from me.

Carly brings her a plate of food and she eats while answering Carly and Colton’s questions. She does her best to hold back the tears that pool in her eyes, hiding the pain and sheer terror she’s feeling.

“You need to take that letter to the police, Savannah.” Carly warns her, but Savannah shakes her head ignoring her advice.

“We both know Drew has half of the local law enforcement in his back pocket, Carly. No point in wasting my time with them.” Savannah says, carrying her plate to the kitchen. She rinses the residue then places the plate in the dishwasher. Carly huffs, angrily rolling her eyes at Savannah’s stubbornness, but Savannah is right. Drew is only tryin’ to lure her to him, playing her into his hand. She disappears down the hallway, then returns a few minutes later with Brailee and Braden in tow.

“Sis, Colton, thank you for everything. We’ll get outta ya hair now.”

“You’re going home tonight? Why? What if…”

“She’ll be safe, beauts, ‘cause I ain’t lettin’ her outta my sight.” I interject as I make my way to the front entryway. Savannah’s mouth parts as she starts to speak. She glances over to Colton, then up at me apprehensively.

“Savannah, you’ll be safe.” Colton nods, then glances over at me. “But you know you’re more than welcome to stay here.” Colton tells her.

“I know and I appreciate the offer. But I refuse to let him beat me down further than where I’ve been.” She smiles nervously, but I can see a small flicker of courage light up in her eyes as she speaks.

“Stay safe please, Sis.” Carly hugs her tight and they say their goodbyes.

Savannah loads the kids into the SUV then climbs in the driver seat without sparing me a passing glance. She’s been strong and silent with me all night, refusin’ to look at me when I speak to her and I understand where she’s comin’ from. But one thing she best realize now is I’ve done screwed up leavin’ her when I did. I’m back now and I refuse to lose sight of her.

He’s back.

My conscience reminds me as I argue with myself on the drive home.

But why now? Where the hell has he been?

What’s it matter? He’s back!

After not hearing a word from Luke for two weeks, he finally returns. When he placed his hand over mine, a searing heat blanketed over me and I felt safe instantly. Then my mind took over and I remembered seeing him with another woman in his arms just last week. The air in the room evaporated with that memory and I just wanted to run. I couldn’t stand to look in his eyes or to be close to him because I am simply that angry right now.

But always playing the hero, Luke promised Carly that he wouldn’t let me out of his sight. She was reluctant for me to leave, but knowing Luke would be watching over me comforted her.

Pulling in the garage, I make sure the door is closed before letting the kids out. They bathed and had snacks at Carly’s, so I send them upstairs to get ready for bed. Braden reminds me it’s his night to pick a book to read as he trudges up the steps, the sound of the doorbell ringing cutting into his words. I wait for Braden and Brailee to clear the stairs before opening the front door.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” Luke says as he tries to step inside the house. I keep my hand firmly braced on the back of the door blocking his entry.

“Luke, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but I’m okay. Don’t worry over me. Go on home, ‘kay.” I push the door forward to close it, but he sticks his foot in the jamb stopping me.

“Open the door, Sav.”

“Go home, Luke.” I beg, resting my head against the door.

“Damn it, Savannah. I’ve slept on this frickin’ porch how many nights, keepin’ an eye on you? Do you really think I’m gonna just walk away now when you need me the most? Open the door now, sweetheart.” His voice is stern and demanding, yet sweet and endearing. I want to argue with him, tell him how I’ve watched for him so many nights over the last two weeks. I want to yell at him for causing me to worry. But what good would any of that do? I step backwards, pulling the door open welcoming Luke inside silently. He pulls his boots off then begins to roam through the house.

“What are you doing?” I ask, following behind him into the kitchen. I can’t describe the curiosity that peeks with Luke’s return. Why is he here now? 

“Just checkin’ things out. Makin’ sure the alarm is set.”

“Thanks. But that’s not what I meant.” I mutter.

“What did ya mean, Sav?”

“Wh-what,” I pinch my eyes together and swallow back the lump of nerves knotted up in my throat. “Wh-why are you s-so insistent to st-stay?”

Luke steps into my personal space, too close for comfort and says, “Because I care about you, Sav.” My chest swells with panic and I take a step backwards drawing in a long breath, but Luke’s woodsy scent envelops my senses causing me to feel dizzy and off kilter. “Sweetheart, ya alright?” Luke asks gripping his hands around my hips, righting me on my feet.

“I’m okay,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. “There are fresh linens in the guest room. Just help yourself to anything you’d like.”

I take swift steps towards the steps without even saying Goodnight.

Damn if he ain’t persistent. The last three days Luke hasn’t left my side. He goes with me to take the kids to school and when I run errands. He even sat in my damn Zumba class with me yesterday. He’s tried to be friendly, making small conversation which I shut down quickly with a short response. I was hoping that by pushing him away and ignoring him he would give up quickly, realizing that I don’t need him. But he’s determined to break through the steel cage I have built up around me.

Before picking the kids up from school, Luke insists we stop by the grocery store. I donn’t argue, I figure I’ll just go ahead and do my shopping for the week – ya know, kill two birds with one stone. Luke keeps his hand on the small of my back as we navigate through the store, only breaking away to snatch an item from the shelf, tossing it in the buggy. I want to hate his touch, hate the comfort that it gives me, but it’s impossible.

“What’s all this mess you’re gettin’?” I ask, eyeing the buggy as we make our way to checkout.

“Cookin’ dinner tonight, sweetheart.” He replies with a smirk. He can cook? Maybe I should pick up a fire extinguisher and a frozen pizza just in case?

“Well, Savannah, you sure waste no time movin’ on, now do ya?” I stop dead in my tracks when I hear Lynda Russell call from behind me as we stand in the checkout line.

“Brown nosin’ again I see, Lynda,” I reply with an eye roll. Luke unloads the groceries onto the belt, keeping a trained eye on me. He can sense that I’m easily affected by Lynda’s comments, but instead of stepping in and saying anything, he allows me the chance to handle it on my own.

“Oh not brown nosin’ at all. It’s hard to miss when you’re parading all through town with walking sex on your arm,” Lynda says with a bitchy tone.

Now usually, I’d shrug her ignorance off. But I’m fed up. Seriously ready to blow a frickin’ fuse. I can feel heat rise up my neck, blanketing over my face and I have to fist my hands to my sides to keep from reachin’ out and touchin’ Lynda
.

Thank ya Jesus my babies ain’t with me to witness this momentarily lapse of conscious and my raging anger. Amen.

I turn around to face Lynda, bracing my hand steadily on the counter. “Listen up, sweets! My life is none of your concern. I don’t understand why you feel the need to make everything your business, but if you would put half as much effort in your own marriage as you do everyone’s business, you may not be such a miserable bitch.” Her jaw drops as she gasps, shock clearly written all over her face. “Now, I’m usually Miss Peachy Keen, always trying to get along with everyone, but to be honest with ya, I’ve had enough of your shit. So keep your nose outta my ass,” I say proudly. I can hear Luke behind me doing his best to stifle back his laughter.

“I can’t believe you’d have the gall,” Lynda begins to say when I cut her off again.

“Not so nice when the shoe’s on the other foot, now is it, sweets. Have a good day, Lynda.” I wave, dismissing her. My God, just the sight of this woman causes my blood to boil. Lynda backs up, turning her buggy in the opposite direction, scoffin’, spittin’ and sputterin’. Luke looks over at me and I put my hand up silently begging him to drop the topic.

“Handled yourself well back there,” Luke says as we load the groceries into the SUV.

“Please, I’m not in the mood to discuss this.” I snap at him.

“I’ve noticed. You ain’t been in the mood for much of anything lately, Sav.”

Woah, what? Really? “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” I yell, throwing a bag of groceries forcefully into the back.

“Sav, look at me.” Luke grasp my wrist in his hand. “I know you’re angry. You have every right to be. But I’m tryin’ to be everything you need right now and all you’re doin’ is pushin’ me away.”

“Oh so you’ve noticed? Thank God, here I thought I was being too subtle!”

“Not too subtle at all, sweetheart. But it’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than a silent treatment to run my ass off.” Luke smirks and releases my arm as I jerk from his grasp. Damn it, he pisses me off.

We pick the kids up with a tight silence hanging between us. I know I shouldn’t be so cruel to Luke, but I don’t know which end is up right now and he’s only confusing me more.

The kids love that Luke’s here. They ate every bite of the pizza lasagna that he cooked for dinner. I was originally skeptical of the concoction he tossed together, but it was actually very delicious. After he loaded up the dishwasher, Luke put them to work in the kitchen helping him bake a cake. I had laundry to put away so I left them to their baking. I came back downstairs to find Braden and Brailee both sitting on the countertop covered in white powder, laughing loudly, Luke sporting my hot pink apron tied around his waist, but it ain’t doin’ much of the job at protecting his clothes. Although I’m sure nothing would have prevented the mess they’re all covered in. I’m certain this was his first attempt at baking anything. I can’t help but laugh at the mess they’ve made, eggs busted in the sink, cake mix and water splattered along the counter. After placing the cake pan in the oven, Luke and the kids clean up the mess, then he wipes their little faces clean, sending them on their way to play before disappearing through the house on his own.

Suddenly I hear Braden yell, “Oh my-gosh, he’s SUPERMAN!” followed by thuds trailing through the house. He slides to a stop in front of me as I sit on the couch and begins to bounce on the balls of his feet in excitement.

“What are ya goin’ on ‘bout, Bub?” I ask, looking up from my Kindle.

“Luke. I think he’s Superman.” He whispers with a wide spread grin on his chubby little face.

“Ah yeah? What makes ya think that?”

Luke walks into the living room and lifts Braden up over his head with one arm and starts to horse play with him. Braden giggles endlessly, a happy sound that I’ve missed hearing from my sweet boy.

“See, Momma! He’s even strong like Superman too!” He continues to giggle as they romp around on the living room floor. Brailee must have heard the commotion because she races into living room doing a swan dive right into their mess of tangled limbs.

Luke spends the entire evening playing with the kids. After making a huge mess frosting the cake, they play board games and romp all over the house. The happiness and laughter is endless. Seeing the smiles on all their faces tears me in two because it makes me wonder, how long will it last? How long before Luke decides he’s bored with us again and turns his back to leave just like he already has? What then? How will I pick up the pieces of their little broken hearts once he leaves them shattered? It’s only a matter of time before it happens.

“Alright, kiddos, it’s time for bed. Tell Luke goodnight.”

“Luke can you read us a bedtime story, please?” Brailee asks with big doe eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, Luke, please please please!! You can read my Superman comic to us!” Braden says, then both kids pout out their lips for good measure.

“Sure!” He says, without even giving me a second thought. He swoops the twins up, one under each arm and carries them upstairs to their bedroom. I follow them up the stairs to remind the twins to brush their teeth, but they’re already in the bathroom scrubbin’ away while Luke sings some silly song to them.

I tuck the kids in bed, kissing them goodnight. “Sit down, Sav.” Luke suggests.

“I think you’ve got this one. I have some laundry to finish up downstairs.” I slip outta the room knowing that Luke just caught me up in a lie.

I find anything to busy myself, anything to keep my mind off the invading anger. The house is spotless – proof of just how pathetic my life has become – so I fill a bucket with water and Lysol, grab a rag and begin scrubbing the damn baseboards. I scrub away at the scuff marks and dirt, trying hard to think of anything other than Luke, but before I know it my thoughts carry me away.

“Need some help?” Luke asks squatting down beside me.

“I got it, thanks,” I mutter, refusing to look at him. He pounces up to his feet and pads off to the kitchen only to return with a rag. He douses the rag in the bucket, wrings it out then starts cleaning a section of baseboard on the opposite wall. I roll my eyes and grit my teeth at his defiance. I can feel heat stain my cheeks. If I wanted his help, I’d asked for it but right now I just need him out of sight and outta mind.