Mr. Badger and the Difficult Duchess (2 page)

3. Wipe Algernon's case.
(As usual, Algernon the ape's case was covered in small marks from the many little hands and noses that pressed against the glass each day. Children adored Algernon.)

Of course, Mr Badger didn't
personally
lower the chandelier and dust the crystal and climb up a ladder to replace the light bulbs, or polish the floors and collect and wash the dishes from the dining room after morning and afternoon tea every day.

Oh no, no, no. There were trained staff who did all of that.

However, Mr Badger
did
give the orders and do the supervising. Every task had to be completed to a very high standard – the Boubles Grand Hotel standard – and it was most important that everything be done without any fuss. Sir Cecil and Lady Celia Smothers-Carruthers, the owners of the Boubles Grand Hotel, insisted on it.

Sir Cecil and Lady Celia Smothers-Carruthers.

‘Keep up the good work,' Sir Cecil would say whenever he passed Mr Badger in the corridor.

Anyway, according to Mr Badger's diary, there were no celebrities booked into the Boubles Grand Hotel today. Not even a princess for afternoon tea.

Miss Pims arrived at work to find Mr Badger leaning back in his chair.

‘Good morning, Mr Badger!' she said cheerfully.

‘And good morning to you, too,' replied Mr Badger. ‘I've checked your diary entries and there seems to be nothing out of the ordinary. I'm looking forward to concentrating on tonight's special event. It promises to be quite an occasion.'

CHAPTER 3

An Unexpected
Guest

A
telephone call soon after informed Mr Badger that a special guest had arrived after all.

‘Mr Badger, sir,' said a trembling voice. ‘It's Robert in reception. We have a guest, the Duchess de la Dodo, and she insists on taking the Royal Suite.'

‘I don't recall seeing a
duchess
in my diary,' said Mr Badger, looking at Miss Pims, who in turn peered at the open page with ‘today' at the top.

‘According to this there is definitely no duchess due today,' said Miss Pims, nodding her head and raising her eyebrows.

Now, the Royal Suite was always kept ready in case a foreign monarch came to stay while on an official visit to London.

Occasionally, too, if local royalty dropped in for a late-night supper, Mr Badger would make arrangements for them to stay overnight in the Royal Suite – rather than have them go all the way back to the palace and troubling the guards with unlocking and locking innumerable gates and doors.

That meant, of course, that the lucky prince or princess would then be free to relax, have a bubble bath and enjoy a famous Boubles Grand Hotel hot chocolate before turning in.

Even though they were very busy, and her grace didn't have a reservation, Mr Badger and Miss Pims went downstairs straight away to personally welcome the Duchess de la Dodo. But neither of them was prepared for what was awaiting them at the reception desk.

It was a tall woman. In fact, not just a
tall
woman but an
extremely
tall woman. Her hair was piled up high on her head, which made her look even taller. She was wearing large sunglasses and looked very mysterious.

‘Welcome, your grace,' said Mr Badger politely, only just managing to conceal his surprise. To see her face, Mr Badger had to bend his head right back.

The Duchess turned and with a majestic sweep of her arm snarled a haughty, ‘How do you do?'

She had no luggage, just a large handbag.

‘We have made the Royal Suite available for your grace,' said Mr Badger. ‘If there is anything at all extra that you need during your stay, please let us know. How long shall we have the pleasure of your company?'

‘Oh, a month or maybe two,' replied the voice from above.

Rather troubling news
, thought Mr Badger, polishing his glasses.