Read Never Let It Go Online

Authors: Emily Moreton

Never Let It Go (2 page)

BOOK: Never Let It Go
12.59Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

“Um—” Will rubbed at his eyes, trying to wake all the way up from the lingering aftereffects of the sleeping pills he’d caved and taken the night before. “I don’t—I’m not sure I’m going.”

He should. Members of the unit who were local and already home were pretty much expected to turn out for homecoming, but he had the excuse of being injured, at least. And he’d never been home before Isaac and Ade. He could barely even imagine seeing them again for the first time in weeks, surrounded by other people.

“They’d like to see you there,” Ms. Drew said gently.

“Yeah, I….” Not going would mean waiting at least an extra few hours to see them, after they were on US soil—maybe longer if the flight came in late and they were kept on base.

“Will, honey, you still there?”

Will blinked, fuzzy-headed and unsure, for a moment, who was on the other end of the line. “Sorry.”

“Oh, Will,” Ms. Drew breathed out, full of sympathy. “I wish you would have come to stay with me when you got home.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” It would have been easier in so many ways, but the only way he’d been able to hold onto Isaac and Ade had been by staying in the apartment they shared. Ms. Drew lived a four-hour flight away from them, and Will couldn’t have gone that far.

She sighed again, still just sad, not disappointed in him. Will closed his eyes and let it be comforting. Isaac and Ade would be home Tuesday. It was less than four days. He could make it four more days.

 

 

M
ARIA
WAS
at the counter again when Will found himself in the coffee shop at close to eleven on Monday night, too restless to stay in the apartment and too unmoored to go somewhere he didn’t already know.

“Late for you,” Maria said, already reaching for a mug as Will crossed the room. A young couple was curled together on one of the big soft couches, and a tired-looking woman with a baby carriage sat in the window, but the place was empty apart from them. “Maybe tea tonight?”

Will leaned against the counter for a moment and then gave up and struggled onto one of the high stools. His broken arm ached with the kind of dull, gnawing pain that made him want to smash it against the nearest solid object, just to feel something different, and he wanted, more than anything else, for Isaac and Ade to be there. They hadn’t even spoken in over a week, just exchanged a couple of text messages while the unit was packing up, ready to head home.

“Buy you something as well?”

Maria frowned slightly, head tipped to one side, and when she said, “Sure, okay,” she sounded uncertain, instead of her typical confident self.

It took Will a second, which was a damn sure sign he needed sleep. “No, hey, not—I meant as a friend. Customer, whatever. Not to hit on you.”

Maria still looked worried, and Will had to admit, he probably wasn’t coming across all that well, turning up late and out of routine and offering to buy her a coffee. “You don’t have to believe me, obviously, but I’m gay. I live with—I’m in a relationship. And I don’t hit on people in coffee shops anyway. Not late at night, I mean. Or any time, really. Um.”

“Okay.” Maria held both hands up, palms out, but she was laughing a little as she did it. “Definitely tea for you. And me, thanks.”

Will gave her a smile that he hoped didn’t look as forced as it felt and made himself shut up. Babbling at people was definitely a one-step-away-from-crazy thing for him.

The mug that Maria put in front of him smelled sweet and sort of spicy. “Chai tea,” Maria offered. “My girlfriend swears by it for… pretty much everything, actually.”

Will mouthed
girlfriend
to himself, and when Maria smiled at him, it was much easier to smile naturally back this time.

“You want to talk?” Maria asked. “I know it’s traditionally bartenders, but I can fake it with the best of ’em.”

“I—” Will did want to talk, desperately, and Maria felt like a weirdly safe person to do it with. He just didn’t have a clue where to start. Or how to tell her about Isaac and Ade without telling her he was in a relationship with two other people. “Homecoming’s tomorrow, and I haven’t—we’ve been apart for a long time. Longer than ever since we met.”

“You worried it’s going to be weird?”

Will was worried about a lot of things, but that wasn’t anywhere on the list. “Just—feels like it should be easier, knowing there’s only a day to wait.”

Maria reached over and rubbed a quick circle against Will’s good arm. “Trust me. This is always the part that sucks.” She glanced, there and gone again, at the injuries that were still obvious. Will had told her he’d been sent home from the army as a result of them. “There’s something about knowing it’s about to happen that makes all the crazy stuff go even crazier.”

Will breathed in the steam from his tea, nodding absently. He wanted to tell her,
I just want them home again. I just want them safe so we can be together again
, but there was no way to say it without either telling her he had two partners or lying that he only had one, and he couldn’t make himself do either.

Maria patted his arm again. “It’ll be okay,” she said.

 

 

W
ILL
KNEW
what time the unit was landing, and he’d done enough homecomings to take a reasonable guess at how long it would be before they could get a moment to turn their phones on and make contact. He added an extra hour to the estimate, just so he could tell himself not to start panicking too early, but even with all that, he still found himself staring at his cell, trying to will it to ring through the power of his mind, a good two hours before he could reasonably expect a call.

When the phone did ring, forty-five minutes after Will had begun staring at it, he startled so badly that he knocked the phone off the couch and had to fumble for it, ignoring the way his ribs protested at the movement. He didn’t even bother checking the Caller ID, just hit Accept Call and shoved the phone up to his face. “Hello?”

His voice was shaking. His stomach cramped in a ball of anxiety, and his skin prickled with cold.

“Will?” Oh God, that was Ade’s voice, clear and sharp and obviously calling from home. “Hey, babe, it’s me.”

Will really meant to say something intelligent—
welcome home
or
it’s good to hear your voice
or hell, even just
hello
again. The sound that actually came out of his mouth was a terrible, wrenching sob, like someone had cracked his heart open. It should have been relief—it was relief—but there was something else there, stronger and worse, and he couldn’t keep it inside, not for anything. It had been there, lurking, since the explosion that he couldn’t remember, and now it was coming out.

“Will? Hey, whoa, what’s wrong?”

Will pressed a hand to his mouth, trying to stop. His whole body was drawn tense and shaking with it, his eyes burning with tears.

“Hold on, just give me a second.” Ade sounded like he was moving, between the rustle of clothing and the way the echo on the other end of the line changed. “Okay, I’m back. Isaac’s keeping Mom occupied, just—did something happen?”

Will shook his head, then made himself say, “No,” in the hope that would make Ade stop sounding so scared. He wasn’t even sure the word made any sense. “You’re safe?”

Ade laughed, though it sounded a little too sharp to really be amusement. “Yeah, babe, we’re both safe. Landed an hour or so ago, finally grabbed a minute to call you. Isaac says hi. He’ll call too in a bit. We can’t just both disappear. His parents didn’t manage to make the trip, so I’m not sure why he’s with Mom instead of me, but I wasn’t going to argue if it meant I got to hear your voice….”

Ade kept talking, soothing and easy. After a couple more sentences, Will closed his eyes and just let the sound wash over him, only half paying attention to the words. Every time he heard Ade pause for breath, the terrible thing inside him seemed to ease, until finally, he managed to get the sobbing under control. He couldn’t seem to do anything about the tears, but that was okay. Ade couldn’t see the tears.

“So glad you’re home,” he said when he was sure he could say it without his voice wavering.

“Me too.” Ade’s voice went all soft and warm, like lazy Sunday mornings in bed together. “I missed you so much. We missed you so much. We can’t wait to see you.”

“How long?” The thought of Ade saying hours, or even the next day, made tears surge again. Will tucked the phone under his chin so Ade wouldn’t hear the way his breath caught.

“Mom was talking about taking us all out to dinner, but we persuaded her to do it tomorrow. We’ve got at least another couple of hours here, but we should get out early evening, and we’re coming straight home.” The line went silent for a moment. Then Ade said, sounding hesitant, “I guess you don’t want to go out or anything?”

All Will wanted in the world was to be with the two of them. Nothing else felt like it could really matter. He shook his head anyway. “Not really.” It shouldn’t be hard to say, but he still felt shaken up and exposed. “Just come home.”

“Soon as we can,” Ade promised. “Love you so much.”

“Love you,” Will echoed.

 

 

W
ILL
WASN

T
sure if Isaac tried to call as well. After he hung up with Ade, he went to take a shower, wash away the weird emotions and the sticky way that crying made him feel. When he finally got dressed again, the bed looked so inviting that he didn’t try too hard to convince himself not to lie down. Just for a few minutes.

He woke up to darkness and the sound of a key in the front door. For once, his usual disorientation on waking receded fast enough for him to know what was coming a moment before a light flicked on in the living room and Isaac called, “Will? You home?”

“What, you think he’s decided to take in a show or something?” Ade bantered back. The door closed firmly, followed by twin thuds of boots being kicked off. “Where’s he going to be except home?”

Will sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, suddenly nervous. He should have put on something better than the sweats and loose T-shirt he was wearing. He could have at least combed his hair and turned a light on.

Too late now, though. That was enough for him to feel ridiculous for worrying about it. “In here.” His voice came out a little scratchy with sleep but still loud enough that he knew the others must have heard him.

He didn’t get a response, just footsteps, a light going on in the corridor outside the bedroom door, and then Ade and Isaac were standing there, one either side of the doorframe, finally, finally home. They’d both changed into civvies, presumably before leaving the base. Isaac was dressed in dark fitted jeans and a deep purple long-sleeved T-shirt, the whole outfit making him look even paler than usual. Next to him, Ade was a study in difference. He was more solidly built than Isaac and Will, darker haired and darker skinned, looking like he was home from an office job in navy slacks and a pale blue dress shirt.

“Hey, you,” Isaac said quietly.

“Hey back.” Will wanted to go to them, put his hands on them and be sure that they were real, but he wasn’t a hundred per cent sure his legs would carry him even that short distance. For once, it had nothing to do with his broken leg.

Ade rolled his eyes, caught Isaac’s hand, and dragged him across the room. “You better not be thinking of walking.”

Will reached out as soon as they were close enough, his good hand wrapping around Isaac’s wrist, his bad one fumbling at Ade’s hand until Ade caught his fingers and held on. Their skin was cool against Will’s, and his broken arm immediately started aching from the lack of support, but none of it mattered. Not when he could hold onto them and know they were safe.

Ade frowned, then leaned in close. Will jerked back before he even thought about it, too startled by someone in his space not to react. Ade just squeezed his fingers and leaned in again, going a little slower, giving Will time to get used to it. Ade’s kiss, right on the bridge of his nose, was soft and careful, and Will had to breathe for a moment so he wouldn’t start crying again.

For a long breath, they didn’t move at all, just being there, close and together and home.

Isaac was the one to break the moment, twisting his arm so he could wrap his fingers around Will’s wrist and nudge very gently. “You want to maybe take this whole thing horizontal, before one of us falls over?”

Will appreciated him not pointing out that, realistically, Will would be the one doing the falling, even if he was sitting down. More than that, he appreciated being eased back under the covers and having Isaac and Ade slide into bed, one on either side of him.

“Are we going to bed?” Ade asked after a while, his breath warm against Will’s neck.

“I know it’s been a while,” Isaac said, lifting his head from Will’s shoulder, “But I didn’t think you’d forgotten what a bed is.”

Ade’s eye roll was audible even from behind Will. “I
meant
are we going to bed in the sense of staying here until the morning, or taking a nap, or cuddling….”

Will turned his head and pressed his mouth against Ade’s. He mostly meant it as a way to stop what he knew could be a lengthy monologue, but Ade cupped Will’s cheek and opened his mouth, deepening the kiss as he shifted and pressed them closer. A couple of seconds later, Isaac joined in, mouthing his way up Will’s neck and over the edge of his jaw. Will closed his eyes and tried to remember how to lean into two people at the same time. Isaac was on the wrong side for Will to catch hold the way he wanted. Will really didn’t want to ruin the slowly building heat by jarring any of his broken bones.

When Ade finally drew back from the kiss enough to speak, all three of them were breathing hard, and Will was remembering that he at least had been celibate for a really long time.

“We’re having sex, then?” Ade asked.

“Right now, you’re putting the brakes on it so you can talk,” Isaac said, mouth against the sensitive underside of Will’s jaw, making him shiver with arousal.

BOOK: Never Let It Go
12.59Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Surviving This Life by Rodgers, Salice, Nieto, N.
His Abductor's Desire by Harper St. George
The Skull of the World by Kate Forsyth
Twisted Tale of Stormy Gale by Christine Bell
The Sky Drifter by Paris Singer
Curves For Her Rock Star by Stacey R. Summers
Last Nizam (9781742626109) by Zubrzycki, John