New Beginnings (49 page)

“I do know that,” he said, hugging her as he nuzzled her neck. “You’re going to be an amazing mom, honey. I have no doubt about that.”

It was important that he believed in her because as excited as she was, she also found her new role a little daunting. “I appreciate that.” Looking around, she said, “I still don’t understand why you did all this.” A knock on the door prompted Cassidy to shift toward the sound. “Who’s that?”

Drake winked at her as he called, “Come in.”

Liz poked her head inside, frowning when she saw them. “I’m sorry to interrupt. Dora said you wanted to see me.”

“I did.” Drake stepped away from Cassidy, reaching for his mother-in-law’s hand. “Liz, I want you to know how proud we are of you. The changes you’ve made in your life are nothing short of miraculous.”

“I’m not the only one who’s come along way, Drake,” she said, softly. They all knew she was referring to Katie, Lee, and Cassidy. “But I appreciate the sentiment. It means a lot to me that I’ve earned your respect. I’ve never seen my daughter so happy,” she said, her glassy eyes resting on her daughter. “And I know I have you to thank for that.”

“She’s changed my life in ways I can’t even begin to describe,” Drake said, slipping an arm around his wife’s waist. “Speaking of life changing events…” His eyes fell to Cassidy’s face and he asked, “Do you mind if I let your mama in on our little secret?”

“Um…” Blushing furiously, Cassidy said, “I kind of already did. I told her and Katie earlier. You don’t mind, do you?”

Drake chuckled. “Just couldn’t keep it to yourself a minute longer, huh?”

Cassidy smiled, grateful that he wasn’t disappointed he wouldn’t be able to share in her mother’s joy. She knew he missed his parents now more than ever and she wanted more than anything to include him in the new relationship she was building with her mother. “I guess not. You’re not upset, are you?”

“Of course not.” Kissing her cheek, he watched Liz take in her surroundings. “You’re probably wondering why I asked you to come down here.”

“I am kind of curious,” Liz said, folding her hands in front of her.

“I thought about all of the things I could give Cassidy as a wedding gift.” Smiling at his wife, he said, “Cars, vacations, none of it seemed appropriate. That stuff doesn’t matter to your daughter, Liz. What’s important to her is the life we’re building together and our new family.”

Cassidy was struggling to hold back the tears and she could tell she wasn’t the only one. Her mother seemed as overwhelmed by Drake’s sweet words as she was. She knew that if they had a daughter, she would want her to one day find a man who loved her this much.

“That new family includes you,” Drake said quietly, smiling affectionately at his mother-in-law. “I hope you know that.”

“It’s so sweet of you to say that,” Liz said, sniffling self-consciously. “Cassidy was a huge part of my recovery and I know being apart for so many months was difficult for you, Drake. I really appreciate the sacrifice you made. Letting her go couldn’t have been easy for you.”

“I’ve never really let her go,” he said, dropping a tender kiss on the corner of Cassidy’s mouth. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to. This woman owns my heart, Liz, and she always will, no matter how far apart we are.”

“We’ll never be that far apart again,” Cassidy said, slipping her hand under his black blazer so she could rub his back. “I can promise you that.”

“You don’t know where your career is going to take you yet, sweetheart,” he said hesitantly. “And I want you to be open to the possibilities. Whatever you decide is right for you, we’ll find a way to make it work.”

Cassidy laid her head on Drake’s shoulder when she couldn’t trust herself to speak. She wasn’t normally this emotional, but the pregnancy hormones were wreaking havoc.

“That’s why I was hoping you’d be open to listening to my proposition, Liz.”

Looking confused, Liz asked, “What kind of proposition?”

“I know things are going great for you right now, and if you feel that relocating may in any way hinder your recovery, I want you to be honest—”

“Relocating?” Liz’s eyes darted back and forth between her daughter and son-in-law. “What are you talking about?”

“I renovated this place because I was hoping you’d be willing to move in.”

Liz gasped, looking around the newly finished space as though she was seeing it with new eyes. She was now used to living in comfort, and while the space Drake was offering was small, it was definitely more luxurious than any home Liz had ever had.

“You can’t be serious,” Liz said, covering her mouth with her trembling hand. “This is for me?”

“If you’re willing to accept it,” Drake said, squeezing Cassidy’s waist when a tear escaped, sliding down her cheek.

Her mother looked so happy, as though Drake made her dreams come true, and Cassidy knew exactly what that felt like, because he’d just fulfilled her last wish, to have her mother nearby so they could continue to work on the relationship they were rebuilding. Seeing the kind of grandmother she was to Hannah, Cassidy couldn’t wait to watch her with their own baby.

“What do you say, Mom?” Cassidy asked, grinning at her. “It looks like the only thing you’d have to pack is your clothes.” Glancing at everything from the printer to the small appliances on the kitchen countertop, Cassidy said, “It looks like Drake’s thought of everything else.” For the first time, she even noticed a small framed photo of Hannah on the desk. Her man really had thought of everything to make her mother feel at home.

“Did you know about this?” Liz asked Cassidy. When her daughter shook her head, Liz asked, “Are you sure this is what you want, hon? I wouldn’t want to impose. I know you’re building a new family with Drake and your baby and I wouldn’t want—”

Stepping forward, Cassidy opened her arms to her mother. “You’re our family too and having you here to watch our baby grow up would mean everything to me.”

Brushing at the tears on Cassidy’s cheeks with a trembling hand, Liz said, “I know I wasn’t the best mother to you girls.” Casting her eyes down, she said, “I was terrible, in fact. But I want to do better with my grandbabies. I want to be the best grandmamma I can be.”

“I know you will,” Cassidy said, hugging her.

“Does that mean you agree?” Drake asked, stepping forward.

Liz reached up to hug him. “Yes, of course.” Hugging him hard, she said, “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for giving me this second chance, Drake.”

“You earned it, Liz.” Kissing her cheek, he pulled back to look her in the eye. “Maybe I should’ve mentioned the baby-sitting duties that come with the digs…”

She laughed, slapping his shoulder. “You know that would be my pleasure.”

Drake was walking down the stone path toward the main house alone while Cassidy and her mother stayed behind to go through the drawers and cupboards. He didn’t know which one of them was more excited, Cassidy or Liz. Either way, he was happy to be able to give Cassidy a second chance to make up for lost time with her mother.

“Hey,” Lee said, walking down the path toward him. “I was just coming to look for you. It’s time for us to head out.”

“Okay.” Drake shoved his hands into his pockets. There were two things that would have made this day more perfect, having his parents sitting in the front row and having his brother standing by his side as he married the woman he loved. He’d had a few good friends standing at the altar with him, but it wasn’t the same as having his brother up there with him.

“Katie’s just changing Hannah and then we’ll be on our way,” Lee said, awkwardly kicking a pebble off the path as though he was afraid to look Drake in the eye. “Thanks for inviting me. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”

“None of this has been easy, man,” Drake said, raking a hand through his hair. “Losing my brother wasn’t easy.”

“You haven’t lost me,” Lee said quietly. “I’m still here.” Opening his hands, he said, “I’m still your brother. I’ll always love you, always have your back, no matter how you feel about me.”

Drake started walking back in the direction he’d come, unsure what to do or say. He walked a few steps before turning back to Lee. “Just tell me why you did it. You had to know she meant everything to me.”

Lee released a shaky breath. “I’ve always wanted to be like you, Drake. You had it all together. Good grades came effortlessly to you. You were always the one everyone saw so much potential in. I was always the screw-up.” He held his hand up when Drake started to say something. “I’m done feeling sorry for myself. Believe me. I’m just trying to make you understand where I was coming from when I did what I did.”

“I’m listening.” For the first time in years, Drake finally felt like he could hear his brother’s words. He’d gotten so used to writing his explanations off as excuses that he’d stopped listening to him years ago.

“Drugs allowed me to escape all that. I didn’t have to think about what happened to Mom and Dad. I didn’t have to think about what a disappointment I was to you and our grandparents or the fact that I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do with my life because I didn’t seem to have any talents or skills.”

“That’s not true,” Drake said. Lee was the one with an incredible ear for music. He started out playing in a garage band. Unfortunately, it was that same group of guys who got him hooked on drugs when he was just a teenager. That was the beginning of the end of life as they knew it. “You had a real future in music, man. You could have done whatever you wanted to do.”

Lee smiled. “I’m hoping it’s not too late for that.” Shrugging, he said, “I guess only time will tell, right?”

“I guess so.”

“Anyway, that night…”

Drake was tempted to tell him he wasn’t ready to talk about that, but he knew he’d already put the inevitable off too long. “What about it?”

“I was as messed up as I’d ever been,” Lee said, raking his hands through his hair. “It’s all still a blur. I wish I could tell you what I was thinking or feeling in that moment, but I can’t. I just know that I wanted to hurt you because you hurt me.”

“I hurt you? How?”

“You gave up on me,” Lee said, quietly. “You said you didn’t want anything more to do with me.”

Drake remembered that conversation too well. He told Lee he was tired of watching him kill himself, and if he didn’t find a way to get his act together, he didn’t want to see or talk to him again.

“I was reeling. I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do without you.” Lee cleared his throat, obviously fighting to hold back the tears. “Ever since Mom and Dad died, you were always the one I could turn to, the one I could count on. I knew our grandparents wouldn’t be around forever, but I thought you would.”

Drake felt a twinge of guilt for taking a hard-line with Lee instead of trying harder to get him the help he’d needed.

“I was sick, Drake. I wasn’t in my right mind. If I was, I never would’ve done that to you. You’ll never know how sorry I am. Every day, I think about the mess I’ve made of things and I wish like hell I could relive the past twenty years, go back to a time before the drugs, when we were still best friends.”

Drake watched Katie walk down the path with his niece in her arms. Hannah was so beautiful, so innocent, that it took his breath away every time he looked at her. The love he felt for her, the protective instincts he had every time he looked at her reminded him of the way he used to feel about her daddy.

“If this isn’t a good time…” Katie said, looking from one brother to the other. “I can come back later.”

Drake didn’t say anything, he just held his arms out for his niece. She was sleeping peacefully and Katie had changed her from the pink frilly dress she’d been wearing earlier into a white one-piece sleeper. She looked like an angel. Kissing the top of her head, Drake silently told her that he loved her, that he’d never let anyone hurt her or screw up her life. He would always be there to protect her, and he knew that meant he had to welcome his brother back into his life.

“I’m not going to lie, I can’t go back to the way things were,” Drake said, looking up at Lee. “But I can’t go on hating you, either.”

Lee sucked in a breath before he said, “It’s a start.”

“You’ve shown me a different side of you this past year, Lee. You’re slowly evolving into the man I always hoped you would.” It wasn’t easy for Drake to acknowledge Lee’s victories, given the mixed feelings he still had, but he knew it was important if they were going to move forward and learn how to co-exist in this new family they were building.

“That means everything to me,” Lee whispered. “All I’ve ever wanted is to make you proud of me.”

“You are making me proud.” Drake had never expected to say those words to his brother again, but they felt right somehow.

“The wedding was beautiful, Drake,” Katie said, smiling. “I know you’ve made my sister very happy.”

Drake knew that his wife was making peace with her little sister. She claimed it was more important now than ever because of Hannah, but that didn’t mean he felt ready to forgive her. “Cassidy means everything to me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”

“I know that.” Katie looked at her daughter when she curled into Drake, seeking his body heat. “I was so selfish. I didn’t understand how much my sister sacrificed to try and make my life better. She took care of me when our mother couldn’t.”

“Yeah, and look at how you repaid her.” Drake almost wished he could retract the words when he saw the obvious pain they caused, but giving them a free pass wouldn’t help anyone.

“Every day I ask for forgiveness…” she whispered. “And strength.” With a determined set to her chin, she looked Drake in the eye. “Battling this addiction is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I’m determined to make it, one day a time.” With a soft smile, she said, “Because my baby deserves the best of me. And my sister believed in me enough to give me a second chance. That’s all I’m asking for Drake, a second chance.”

Looking at the sleeping baby in his arms, he realized he would always give her a second, third, and fourth chance. No mistake could be so grave that he would stop loving her. Perhaps he owed her parents the same consideration.