Nobody’s Girl (21 page)

‘Where’s Dad?’

‘He’s putting the takings into the night safe at the bank.’ She then turned to Pearl, her voice clipped. ‘Put the kettle on.’

Pearl nodded, hurrying through to the kitchen, Dolly speaking again as the door closed. ‘The girl can make herself useful and we might as well start as we mean to go on. For instance, she can help your father with the cleaning up here.’

‘Hang on, Mum. She’s already working in the café, and don’t forget she’s five months pregnant.’

‘What’s that got to do with anything? Pearl isn’t ill. She’s just having a baby and doesn’t need treating like a china doll.’

Kevin shrugged, unwilling to get into an argument. If Pearl didn’t want to take on the cleaning it would be up to her to say so but, knowing his mother, he doubted it would do any good. What she said went, both in the café and up here in their flat.

‘Hello,’ Bernie said as he returned. ‘How was the meal?’

‘Fine.’

‘Where’s Pearl?’

It was Dolly who answered. ‘She’s making a cup of tea, and I’ve told Kevin that she can take over cleaning the flat.’

‘Blimey, don’t you think that’s a bit much? After all, the girl’s having a baby.’

Dolly’s face darkened. ‘I worked like a dog when I was carrying Kevin, and I don’t remember you protesting.’

Bernie lowered his eyes, and Kevin knew that, like him, his father was unwilling to argue with her. Once again his determination rose. There was no way Pearl was going to rule him. In fact, he would start right now, and this might be a way to earn a few Brownie points with his mother. If he could soften her up, she might be persuaded to give him a few quid.

When Pearl came back into the room, Kevin waited until she had put the tray down before speaking. ‘Now that you’ve moved in with us, I think we need to sort out a few things. My mother’s worn out after working in the café all day, and as she has agreed to let us live here rent free, I think you should take on the cleaning.’

Kevin threw a glance at his mother, pleased to see that she was positively beaming at him. He flushed with pleasure and then turned this attention to Pearl again, awaiting her reaction.

She was frowning, and for a moment he thought she’d protest, but then with a small nod she said, ‘Of course I’ll do the cleaning.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll give you a hand,’ Bernie said, ‘and why are we having tea? I thought you said we’d celebrate with champagne, Dolly.’

‘Don’t be stupid, and what’s to celebrate? I only said that for the benefit of the locals. Champagne indeed! We’re not made of money, you know.’

Kevin frowned, dreading an evening spent with his parents, something he usually avoided like the plague. Hang on! He’d decided that marriage wasn’t going to change his lifestyle, hadn’t he? There was nothing to stop him from going out later for a drink with the boys.

At eight o’clock Kevin was ready. Pearl looked surprised when he told her he was going out, but he’d told her in no uncertain terms that his mates wanted him to have a celebratory drink. She looked upset, but he ignored it, only flinging her a wave as he left.

Nobby and Dick looked surprised when they saw him walk into the pub, both offering to buy him a drink, but it was Dick who got them in.

‘Where’s your lovely wife?’ Nobby asked.

‘Indoors, where she’s supposed to be.’

‘And no doubt waiting for you to come home to bed,’ Dick leered as he handed out the pints.

‘Of course she is. Marriage has some compensations and I’ll give her a good seeing to later.’

Nobby smirked. ‘In that case you’d better go easy or you might get the brewer’s droop.’

‘No chance of that,’ Kevin bragged.

‘Have you heard the news about Derek Lewis?’ Kevin stiffened. ‘No.’

‘He’s been offered a full-time job at the gym.’

‘Oh yeah, doing what?’

‘Old Jack Spencer is retiring and Derek’s taking over. He’ll be managing the gym, and is already talking about offering more kids boxing lessons.’

‘What about his stall?’

‘According to the jungle drums, he’s keen to give it up, and you can’t blame him.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Come on, mate, it doesn’t take much working out. Pearl made a fool of him, but I reckon he still ain’t over her. I know she’s your wife now, but a lot of people ain’t got any time for her.’

Kevin relaxed. Yeah, Pearl had taken the fall, and as long as the locals continued to think that, he had nothing to worry about. He finished his beer, but with little money left he knew he only had enough for one round. ‘Well, mate, if they ain’t got any time for my wife, that’s just too bad. Now me, I’m gonna have another drink.’

Kevin ordered three pints and the conversation turning to horse racing – a sure bet that Nobby was going to place the next day. ‘This one’s a cert,’ he bragged.

‘According to you they’re all certs, but I reckon it’s a mug’s game.’

‘No it ain’t,’ he protested. ‘I won a few bob yesterday.’

‘Yeah, and you’ll lose it tomorrow.’

Nobby protested, and for a while went on about the virtues of the horse he’d been tipped would win.

‘If you want to waste your money that’s up to you, but right now, as you’re so flush, when we’ve finished these, it’s your round.’

Nobby got them in, and as they stood chatting a few people came up to congratulate Kevin, but he felt it was half-hearted. None offered to buy him a drink, and as he swallowed the last dregs in his glass, Kevin decided he’d have to leave before his turn came round again.

‘Right, I’m off to service my lovely wife.’

The others laughed, and as Kevin walked outside, the cold air hit him. He wasn’t drunk, it would take more than three pints to do that, but he felt mellow. It only took him a few minutes to walk home, and as he went upstairs to the flat he found it in darkness. With such an early morning start, his parents were rarely up after ten, and doing his best to tiptoe, he made for his bedroom.

Pearl was sitting up in bed when he walked in, the bedside light illuminating her wan face. She looked miserable, her huge eyes moist as she gazed at him.

‘For Gawd’s sake, what’s the matter with you?’

At his tone she stiffened, her reply barely a whisper. ‘N … nothing.’

With a new double bed in it, the room was a bit cramped, and though Kevin knew he still had to go easy with Pearl, he consoled himself with the thought that any sex was better than nothing. With a grin he threw off his clothes, and scrambled in beside her. ‘Good, glad to hear it. Now come here and give me a cuddle.’

As Pearl put her arms around him, Kevin became instantly aroused. Yes, he thought, marriage did have compensations. His hand lifted her nightdress and she groaned softly as he stroked her inner thigh.

Gently, he told himself as he positioned himself above her, fighting to control the need to hurt – to dominate.

‘Kevin, did you lock up?’ his mother’s voice boomed as she barged into the room.

He froze above Pearl, his erection dying instantly. ‘Christ, Mum, you could have knocked.’

‘Huh, yes, I can see that,’ she said, her voice and face showing her disgust as Pearl fought to pull the blankets over them. ‘Now, as I said, did you lock up?’

‘Of course I did.’

‘Good,’ she said, her lips curling with distaste, ‘and if you don’t mind, keep the noise down. Some of us are trying to sleep.’

Kevin felt sick as memories of his childhood rose to haunt him. As a little boy, if he so much as touched his penis, his mother reacted with disgust, the same look he was seeing on her face now. She would tell him that he was a dirty little boy, filthy, and if he touched himself again, she wouldn’t love him.

She turned on her heels, leaving the room, and Kevin now felt Pearl trembling beside him. He forced the memories away, turning on his side to gather her in his arms. Softly he began to caress her.

‘No, please, we can’t,’ she said, her body becoming rigid. ‘Your … your mother might hear us.’

‘Not if we’re quiet,’ he whispered. Yet as he made to mount her again, he thought he heard a noise outside their room, and tensed. Once again his erection died and he threw himself away with disgust.

‘I … I’m sorry,’ Pearl whispered.

Kevin clutched at her apology. Yes, it was her fault, her bloody nerves putting him off. He turned on his side, whispered a curt good night, and then closed his eyes, the drink affecting him more than he realised as he almost immediately went to sleep.

Over a week passed, and Pearl’s dream of a happy marriage was already fading. They still hadn’t made love and she could sense Kevin’s growing impatience. It was her fault, she knew that, but with her mother-in-law just across the landing she was unable to relax. Kevin would climb into bed now, immediately turning his back, whilst Pearl remained awake, just wishing that at least he would hold her in his arms.

Kevin went out most evenings and though Bernie tried to make Pearl feel at home when she joined them in the living room, Dolly kept her eyes glued to their small television and hardly spoke.

Now, as they closed the café on Saturday and she went upstairs, Pearl swallowed deeply, trying to pluck up the courage to speak to her mother-in-law about her wages.

She made them all a drink, wondering if she should wait until Kevin came home to offer his support. Yet surely it was just an oversight, Dolly forgetting to pay her along with the others. As she handed her mother-in-law a cup of tea, it rattled in the saucer.

‘Er … Dolly, I think you’ve forgotten my wages.’

‘Wages! Leave it out, girl. You’re married to my son and whether I like it or not, you’re part of this family now.’

‘But—’

Dolly held up her hand, forestalling any argument. ‘And, may I add, I don’t take a penny for your keep. Pay indeed.’

‘But I need to buy—’

‘I can’t see that you need anything,’ Dolly interrupted. ‘You live rent free, and all your meals are provided. I hope you don’t think I’m providing money for you to waste on fripperies.’

‘No, of course not, but my skirts won’t fasten around my waist and I need a couple of maternity smocks.’

‘Well, that’s soon sorted. Gertie’s good with a needle and she’ll be able to add a bit to your skirts. She’ll run you up a couple of maternity smocks too.’ Dolly rose to her feet. ‘I’ve got a length of material somewhere and I’ll dig it out.’

Pearl watched her leave, her heart sinking. It wasn’t just smocks she needed, there was underwear too. Bernie looked up from his newspaper, eyes sympathetic, and his voice barely above a whisper. ‘I ain’t got much, love, but I can give you five bob.’

‘Oh, Bernie,’ Pearl whispered gratefully, only to turn sharply as Dolly returned.

‘There,’ she said, holding up a piece of cream material, garishly patterned with bright pink chrysanthemums. ‘It’s been stuck in the cupboard for years, but I knew it would come in handy one day. I reckon there’s enough here for at least two smocks.’

‘Blimey, it looks like curtaining,’ Bernie said.

‘What does that matter? She’ll only be wearing smocks for a few months and there’s no sense in wasting money.’

‘Well, if you say so,’ Bernie said doubtfully, ‘but I don’t know what people are going to think if they see Pearl dressed in that. They’ll think we can’t afford anything better.’

Dolly frowned. ‘Yeah, you may be right. I’ll put this back in the cupboard and buy a new bit of material.’

Pearl could have hugged him. He’d obviously hit on the one thing that could make her mother-in-law change her mind: people’s opinions.

As Dolly marched out of the room again, Bernie winked. ‘You have to know how to handle her,’ he whispered.

‘Thanks,’ Pearl mouthed, grateful that he was an ally in this strange household.

When Dolly returned, Bernie retreated into his newspaper again, and with a sigh Pearl found her fingers itching to paint, to bury her worries in art. Her supplies had run out, not only of paint, but sketching paper too, and with no money of her own, she’d be unable to buy any more. Art classes were a thing of the past now, her dream for the time being ending with her pregnancy. She missed the lessons, wishing she could still afford them, dreading the thought of another evening stuck indoors with her in-laws.

Kevin walked in at six o’clock, and for a moment Pearl brightened. It was Saturday night – perhaps he’d take her out. But her hopes were dashed when he spoke.

‘I’ve got to go out again. Have you ironed my white shirt, Pearl?’

‘Out again?’ Bernie said, and, as though sensing how she felt, he added, ‘Are you taking Pearl with you?’

‘No. I’ve got a bit of business to sort out.’

‘What – on a Saturday night?’ Bernie asked, eyes narrowed as he gazed at his son.

‘That’s what I said, didn’t I? Where’s Mum?’

‘She’s having a bath.’

‘Sod it. I need to talk to her. How long has she been in there?’

‘A while. What do you want to talk to her about?’

‘That’s my business.’

‘No doubt you’re after money again. It’s about time you found yourself a job.’

‘I’m doing my best.’

Bernie shook his head in disgust. ‘You’re a married man now and should think about your wife and coming child.’

‘He is looking, Bernie, really he is.’

‘Oh yeah? Well, work ain’t that hard to find.’

As Dolly walked into the room wrapped in a copious blue candlewick dressing gown, her eyes narrowed. ‘Bernie, did I hear you having a go at Kevin?’

‘I was just saying that he should get a job.’

‘Keep your nose out of it, Bernie. I think I know what’s best for my son and I don’t want him working in some dead-end job without prospects. He has good qualifications and deserves a decent salary, not the pittances he’s been offered so far.’

‘Oh, so he’s applied for some jobs then?’

‘Of course he has,’ Dolly snapped. ‘Ain’t that right, Kevin?’

Kevin blinked rapidly, his eyes avoiding his father’s. ‘Yes, but Mum, can I have a word with you in private?’

‘Of course,’ she said, beckoning him to her bedroom.

Kevin followed, but not before turning to Pearl. ‘If you haven’t ironed my white shirt, do it now.’

Pearl didn’t move. Dolly had given her a stack of ironing yesterday, and she had done the lot, including Kevin’s shirt.

Bernie said quietly, ‘She’ll give him money. She always does. I know what Dolly’s game is. She doesn’t want to lose her precious son, but she knows that if Kevin finds work the two of you will find a place of your own. Believe me, that’s the last thing my wife wants and she’ll do anything to keep him here.’

‘But Kevin wants to leave as much as I do.’

‘If you say so, love, but Dolly’s crafty. She knows that as long as she provides Kevin with enough pocket money to keep him happy, the lazy bugger won’t look for work.’

‘But he
is
looking, he told me.’

‘Huh, and pigs might fly. I don’t believe him and neither should you.’

Pearl shook her head, sure that Bernie was wrong. ‘Do you think Kevin will speak to Dolly about my wages? I still need to buy a few things.’

‘Leave it out, love. You’ve only been here a short while but you’ve seen how things stand. Kevin won’t speak up for you, but maybe if you ask him, he’ll drop you a few bob out of the money he gets out of his mother.’

‘Oh, yes, I’ll do that,’ Pearl said, brightening now.

When Kevin returned he went to their bedroom and Pearl followed. ‘Kevin, your mother isn’t paying me any wages now and I need some money.’

‘Well, don’t look at me.’

‘But I need some new underwear and—’

Kevin paused in the act of throwing on his shirt, his eyes hard. ‘If you want money, you’ll have to sort it out with my mother. Now bugger off and leave me in peace.’

Pearl stared at him, her heart sinking. Since their marriage he had changed, his moods mostly foul. Nowadays, as she did with Dolly, Pearl to tiptoed around him. She longed for his love, to be held in his arms, but he seemed so hard, so cold.
Oh, please let him get a job soon. Please let
us find a place of our own
. Once away from his mother, Pearl was sure that she and Kevin would be fine.

Dolly’s temper didn’t improve, and a few days later another waitress walked out, leaving Madge to work the tables on her own.

Madge came through to the kitchen, puffing loudly to make her feelings plain. ‘Why doesn’t Kevin help out a bit? If he did the counter, Bernie could give me a hand with the tables.’

‘He’s busy,’ Dolly snapped.

‘Doing what?’

‘Madge,’ Dolly said, her voice deceptively quiet, ‘what my son does is no concern of yours. I said he’s busy and that’s an end to it. Until we find another waitress, I’ll pay you a bit extra, but now I suggest you get back to work.’

‘All right, but I ain’t standing much more of this. In fact, I think I’ll start looking around for another job.’

Pearl held her breath, waiting for her mother-in-law to explode, but Madge was at the end of her tether and if Dolly wasn’t careful she’d walk out too, leaving them in a terrible fix.

For a moment the two women faced each other, but then Dolly heaved a great sigh. ‘All right, Madge, if you want to get another job I can’t stop you. However, if you stay I’ll increase your wages permanently.’

Madge blinked rapidly, obviously as surprised as Pearl. ‘By how much?’

‘Another quid a week.’

She pursed her lips, her head cocked to one side as she thought it over. ‘Yeah, all right, I’ll stay.’

‘Good, now as I said, get back to your work.’

No sooner had Madge left the kitchen than Dolly erupted. Her face red with anger, she banged a frying pan onto the cooker. ‘Madge knew she had me over a barrel – the cow! Another quid a week! I must be mad. Huh, she thinks she’s got one over me, but when we get another waitress, I might just give her the sack.’

With the potato peeler poised, Pearl glanced at the clock. It was ten o’clock, but she doubted Kevin was up. Since Bernie’s comments, she too was beginning to doubt that he was looking for work. When he surfaced, Dolly would cook him a breakfast and he’d spend a leisurely hour eating it whilst reading the morning paper.

They’d only been married for two weeks, but Pearl was disillusioned. As long as Dolly kept Kevin provided with money, he seemed happy to remain there, virtually ignoring his new wife as he went about his own business. She no longer mentioned work to him, finding it put him in a nasty mood, and now she felt that he had lied to her about wanting a place of their own. Oh God, please let me be wrong, she prayed, dreading living permanently with her mother-in-law.

That evening Kevin cadged more money from his mother. She gave him a few quid, but not enough for a trip to Soho, and his frustration mounted. She was still keeping him short, and he couldn’t get relief from Pearl – their lack of privacy had seen to that.

Pearl had stopped nagging him about a job at last, the silly cow unaware that he had plans in hand, ones he couldn’t tell her about. Ones that hopefully would provide enough for a place of their own. He was going to rob the pub in Richmond, and to that end had given the barmaid a ring, pleased to find it was her night off and she was available.

Now he sat beside her, inwardly fuming. He’d spent the last of his money inundating her with booze, but it had been a complete waste of time. New at the job, Mary had little information about the workings of the place.

At last he rose to his feet, snapping impatiently, ‘Come on, I’ll take you home.’

She looked up at him, eyes bleary and un focused. ‘Home? I don’t want to go home yet.’

‘Tough,’ he said, grabbing her arm and heaving her up.

Kevin’s jaw clenched, wishing now that he’d spent his money on a tart. How long had it been since he’d had a woman? Bloody ages. If he could get it up with Pearl it might have offered some release, but with his mother close by he found it impossible. Ashamed, he let Pearl think that she was to blame, turning his back on her every night.

Kevin walked out of the pub, his temper only just in check. The pub was remote, the car park, other than his car, empty. To ensure that nobody saw them together, he had arranged to pick Mary up at the end of her street, but his caution had been for nothing. Now he had to waste more petrol money driving the useless cow home again.

It was dark, woods surrounding them, but Kevin was uncaring of Mary as she swayed beside him. She tripped and he grabbed her arm, inadvertently touching her breast.

She flapped her hand, saying with a silly giggle, ‘Oh, you dirty boy.’

He stiffened. Dirty boy! Words his mother had used again and again when he was a child. He growled low in his throat, and in his angry and frustrated state, Mary’s comment set off a chain of action that overwhelmed Kevin.

Mindless now, his grip tightened on her arm as he dragged her towards the surrounding trees. Mary staggered beside him, hardly aware of what he was doing as he pulled her deeper into the woods.

Suddenly she halted. ‘Where are we going?’

‘Shut up,
bitch
!’ Kevin hissed, forcing her forward again.

‘Wh … what?’

He ignored her as he looked wildly around. They were deep inside the woods now, fallen leaves crunching underfoot. It was perfect. There was hardly any light from the moon and, grinning with glee, Kevin threw Mary violently to the ground.

She landed heavily, crying out, but Kevin threw himself on top of her, his hands tearing at her clothes.

‘No! No, don’t!’

That was all Kevin needed, her cries like music to his ears. He smashed a fist into her face, and then began to tear at her clothes again, leering as she struggled beneath him.

She still resisted, arousing him, his actions becoming frantic as his fists beat again and again into her soft flesh. She was a woman, fighting him, and he punished her, his teeth sinking into her flesh.

At last she lay compliant and he loved it. He had won, she was helpless – his to control now as he forced her legs apart. He thrust inside her, groaning with pleasure, mindless as he sought the release he craved.

When had she become so still? Kevin had no idea, only aware, when he was finished, of Mary’s motionless body beneath him. In the darkness he ran his hands over her, the breath leaving his body with relief when he felt her ribcage move. Christ, for a moment he thought he’d killed her.

His relief was short-lived as panic set in. Bloody hell, he was still in trouble. He’d raped her, beaten her. Staggering to his feet, he rushed blindly through the trees, thinking only of self-preservation.