Nobody’s Girl (23 page)

Dolly yawned widely. ‘Trust that girl to go into labour at such an awkward time, and now we’re well and truly stuck.’

‘You could ask Madge to do the vegetables. The new waitress will just have to manage on her own.’

‘I suppose it’s a possibility, but she ain’t gonna be too happy about it. Still, it’ll only be for just over a week. Pearl will be home again then and we can get back to normal.’

‘I don’t see why Kevin can’t give us a hand. If he takes over the counter, I can cover for Madge while she’s working in the kitchen.’

‘Leave it out, Dad. I’m going to the hospital to see my son.’

‘You can’t go yet,’ Dolly said. ‘Visiting time isn’t until one o’clock and there’s nothing to stop you giving us a hand. That goes for every day until Pearl comes home.’

‘But, Mum—’

‘No arguments, Kevin,’ she said, her voice firm. ‘It won’t hurt you to help out. After all, it’s your wife that’s putting us to all this inconvenience, and until she can get back to work we’ll have to pull together.’

Kevin gazed up at his mother, wanting to argue, but this time he could see that she was in no mood for cajoling. She looked tired, dark rings under her eyes.

Suddenly he was struck by a thought. ‘Hold on, Mum. Pearl won’t be able to work in the café when she comes home. She’ll have the baby to see to and I don’t fancy taking Dad’s place behind the counter permanently.’

‘Don’t worry, son, there’ll be no need for that. I’ve got it all worked out but I’m too tired to talk about it now. I’m gonna have a bath and hopefully it will freshen me up.’

Kevin frowned, wondering what his mother had in mind, but then his mouth tightened. Christ, he dreaded working in the café and, like his mother, he’d be glad when Pearl came home.

Dolly was pacing up and down, the baby held firmly in her arms. ‘One more day off, Pearl, and then you can get back to work.’

‘But how? I can’t leave Johnny.’

‘We just need a routine, that’s all, and I’ve worked it all out.’

‘But—’

‘It’s simple,’ Dolly interrupted. ‘You can start work extra early and I’ll look after the baby while you prepare the vegetables. As long as I’m downstairs by six o’clock it’ll be fine, and you won’t need to be in the kitchen again until it’s time to cook them.’

‘Who’ll look after Johnny while I’m doing that?’

‘Kevin can watch him for an hour or so or, failing that, we can have him with us in the kitchen.’

Pearl ruminated on Dolly’s words. Yes, she could start work early, but would she be able to drag herself out of bed? ‘I’m hardly getting any sleep. Johnny only lasts an hour before he wants another feed.’

Dolly smiled fondly at the baby. ‘Yes, I heard him last night. He’s a hungry little bugger, that’s for sure. The best solution would be to put him on a bottle and then any of us can feed him.’

‘Oh, no, I don’t want to do that!’

‘If he wants feeding that often, it’s probably because you haven’t enough milk to satisfy him. Surely you don’t want to starve the poor little mite?’

‘Not enough milk? But he only woke up once a night when I was in hospital.’

‘While he was in the nursery they probably topped him up with a bottle. After all, they wouldn’t want to disturb all the other mothers in the ward by bringing him to you every hour.’

‘But surely my milk is best for him.’

‘Not if he’s hungry. A bottle would be the best thing. Wait and see, he’ll thrive.’

‘I’m still not sure.’

‘Well I am, so that’s an end to it. Now take Johnny for a minute while I find my purse. I’ll give you the money for all the paraphernalia. You’ll need to buy bottles, teats, and powdered milk. Then in the morning, we can start the new routine.’

Pearl wanted to protest, but was too scared of Dolly to argue. ‘I’ll take Johnny with me to the chemist. It’ll do him good to get a bit of fresh air.’

‘No, it’ll be quicker to go on your own. You can leave him with me,’ Dolly insisted, laying the money on the table and taking Johnny from Pearl’s arms.

With a sigh Pearl did as she was told, and was soon outside, heading for the chemist. She turned the corner, almost colliding with Derek.

‘Oh!’

‘Well, well, I didn’t expect you to be out and about so soon.’

‘Oh … you’ve heard that I’ve had my baby.’

‘Yeah, I heard. I may not be working my stall, but gossip still reaches me. How are you doing?’

Pearl was relieved that Derek wasn’t showing any animosity. His expression was mild. ‘I’m all right, and Dolly insists that I start work again tomorrow.’

‘That soon?’

‘Yes, well, you know Dolly. My mother-in-law rules the roost and we all have to do as she says. Mind you, Kevin won’t be too pleased about having to look after the baby while I’m working in the kitchen.’

His face immediately hardened, mouth grim as he replied, ‘Yeah, somehow I can’t see Kevin as a babysitter. Still, you knew what he was like – Dolly too – before you schemed to marry him. As the saying goes, you made your bed and now you’ve got to lie on it.’

Pearl knew she deserved this, deserved all that Derek threw at her. ‘I hurt you, and I’m sorry, but I didn’t mean to. Really I didn’t.’

‘It’s a bit late for apologies now, Pearl,’ Derek said, and as her eyes met his, he gazed into them for a moment. ‘When I look at you like this, I can’t believe what happened. Dolly told her story, Kevin too, but somehow, along with yours, they don’t ring true. If you want to open up, I’ll listen, and if you’re unhappy, you only have to say the word.’

Pearl tore her eyes away. Time had passed, but even if Derek found out the truth, he might still go for Kevin. No, she had to keep her mouth shut – for both their sakes. ‘It
was
the truth, Derek, and if you hate me, I don’t blame you.’

He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted. ‘I’m sorry. I must go now.’ Bye, Derek,’ she blurted, hurrying away.

Pearl rushed to the chemist, saddened by her encounter with Derek. She had opened up old wounds for him, seen his pain. Oh, if only they didn’t have to see each other, if only she and Kevin could move from this area. Kevin’s nerves had been bad and he had given up looking for work, but he was recovering, and now maybe she could broach the subject again.

*

Another week passed. Pearl had been home for over two weeks now and disturbed by her’s movements, Kevin turned over in bed. He forced his eyes open to glance at the clock. Bloody hell, it wasn’t even four in the morning and he didn’t know how she got up this early to start work.

‘Kevin! Kevin, where’s the baby?’

He ignored the panic in her voice, saying impatiently,‘ In his bleeding cot. Where do you think?’

‘He isn’t. It’s empty.’

‘What!’ He swung his legs over the side of the bed, his mind jumbled before he had a coherent thought. ‘Maybe Mum’s got him.’

Their eyes met, and without another word they made for Dolly’s room.

As Kevin opened the door, all he could see were two humps in the bed and his heart began to thump in panic.

‘Mum, wake up!’ he shouted. ‘Johnny isn’t in his cot.’

‘Bloody hell, where’s the fire,’ Dolly grumbled as she turned onto her back. ‘I heard him crying in the night again so I brought him in with me.’ She moved the blankets to reveal Johnny snuggled by her side.

‘Christ, Mum, you frightened the life out of us.’

‘Well, that’s nice, ain’t it? I thought I’d give Pearl the chance of a good night’s sleep and this is the thanks I get.’

‘Yeah, sorry, Mum,’ Kevin said, his heart calming down. ‘It was good of you.’

‘I’d better give him his bottle before I start work,’ Pearl said as she stepped forward.

‘He’s already had it,
and
I’ve changed his nappy. The poor little mite was soaking wet,’ Dolly said reproachfully, and then her tone broaching no argument she added, ‘he can stay with me and you can put the kettle on.’ Kevin glared at his wife, his voice equally harsh. ‘You daft cow Pearl. I’m going back to bed and I don’t appreciate being woken up for nothing.’

Pearl saw her husband storm off, and chastened by both him and his mother, she headed for the kitchen. Whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, she had a quick wash, finding her breasts hard and painful, engorged with milk as she gingerly took off her nightdress. Tears filled her eyes as a feeling of helplessness washed over her. In the short time she’d been home from the hospital, Dolly had taken over her son, so much so that she hardly felt that Johnny was hers. Even his name had been Dolly’s choice, Kevin happily falling in with his mother’s suggestion.

The kettle began to whistle, and hurriedly throwing on her dressing gown, Pearl rushed to make the tea, carrying two cups through to Dolly’s bedroom as soon as it had brewed.

‘About time too,’ her mother-in-law complained.

‘Morning, Pearl,’ Bernie said, but his eyes were on the baby snuggled between them. ‘Look at him, he’s spark out, but how come he’s in with us every morning?’

It was Dolly who answered, ‘The poor little nipper was screaming his lungs out, but as usual Pearl didn’t hear him. Honestly, I don’t know how she sleeps through it. I always heard Kevin when he was a baby.’

Unable to believe that she’d failed to hear Johnny crying again, Pearl’s eyes filled with tears. What sort of mother was she?

‘Get going, girl,’ Dolly snapped. ‘There’s work to be done, but you’re standing there like a tit in a trance.’

Pearl nodded, throwing one last glance at her son before leaving the room. He looked so snug and cute sandwiched between her in-laws, but her arms ached to hold him, to console him for not hearing his cries. Pearl dashed her tears away. The sooner she prepared the vegetables, the sooner she’d be back again and for a while she’d have Johnny to herself. She hurriedly dressed and, without bothering to drink her tea, dashed downstairs.

That afternoon, when she finished cooking the vegetables, and despite Dolly’s scowl, Pearl went across to see Bessie, the woman smiling as she went into the shop.

‘Hello, love,’ she said, moving to look into the pram, her face soft as she gazed at Johnny. ‘He’s thriving.’

‘Yes, and it seems Dolly was right about putting him on the bottle.’

‘If you say so. Anyway, what’s up, love? You seem a bit down in the mouth.’

‘Nothing really.’

‘Don’t give me that. Now come on, tell me what the problem is.’

Pearl sighed. ‘It’s just that I don’t hear Johnny crying in the night and I feel like a useless mother.’

‘Considering that you have to be up at four in the morning, it ain’t surprising.’

‘Dolly said she never failed to hear Kevin when he was a baby.’

‘Huh, I can see she’s still holding herself up as a saint.’

‘She wakes for Johnny, and I don’t.’

‘If you ask me, you shouldn’t have to work in the café. When is Kevin going to get a job?’

‘I don’t know. I mentioned it yesterday, but he said his nerves are still bad.’

‘Huh, nerves my arse.’

‘Oh, Bessie, don’t be like that. I’m sure as soon as he’s able, he’ll find work.’

The door opened, a woman coming in.

‘Hello, Tessa,’ Bessie said. ‘What have you got for me?’

‘A really nice coat,’ she said, laying a parcel on the counter.

Bessie opened the package, the smell arising awful. She held it up, her nose wrinkling. ‘Sorry, love, but I can only give you a tanner for it.’

‘All right, and thanks,’ Tessa said, her hand held out.

Bessie gave her the money, and Pearl shook her head as the woman left the shop. ‘That coat’s only fit for the dustbin. Why on earth did you buy it?’

‘Tessa’s struggling. Her son used to look after her, but he’s just been sent down for six months.’

‘What did he do?’

‘A bit of petty thieving. He’ll see me all right when he comes out again and, in the meantime, us locals will keep an eye on Tessa.’

Pearl nodded, used now to the ways of the area. She still felt like an outcast, and missed the easy camaraderie she used to have with the costermongers. They didn’t cut her dead now, and some stopped her to have a look at the baby, but others still refused to speak.

Pearl glanced at the clock. ‘I’d best get back or Dolly will go on the warpath.’

‘Christ, girl, you’ve hardly been here for five minutes.’

‘I know, but when the café closes she likes to spend time with Johnny.’

‘Whose baby is he? Yours or Dolly Dolby’s?’

‘He’s mine, of course, but I don’t want to get on her bad side.’

‘Pearl, when are you going to stand up for yourself?’

‘Stop worrying, I’m fine,’ Pearl lied. ‘I’ll see you soon, but I must go.’

Bessie didn’t look convinced, but Pearl ignored this as she hurried back to the café. It was all right for Bessie to say she should stand up for herself, but she didn’t live with Dolly.

This thought was affirmed when Pearl walked into the living room.

‘It’s about time too,’ Dolly snapped, immediately rising to her feet and taking Johnny from her arms. ‘Bloody hell, what sort of mother are you? His nappy is soaking wet.’

‘Is he?’ Pearl said, her eyes widening with surprise. Johnny had felt fine to her and she was sure he didn’t want changing. ‘I … I’ll change his nappy.’

‘No, I’ll do it,’ Dolly snapped. ‘I’ve shown you time and time again, but you never do it right and one of these days you’ll stick him with the bloody nappy pin.’

Pearl knew that when Dolly was around she was fumbling and awkward, the constant criticism making her nervous. ‘I wouldn’t do that. I’d never stick the pin in him.’

‘Huh, so you say. Anyway I could do with a cup of tea. Leave Johnny to me and get to the kitchen. I’m peckish too, so make me a sandwich while you’re at it.’

‘I’ll do it,’ Bernie offered, throwing Pearl a sympathetic glance.

‘No you won’t,’ Dolly snapped. ‘I told Pearl to do it and don’t need your interference. There ain’t much she can do, especially when it comes to looking after this poor little bugger, but at least she’s learned to make a decent brew.’

Pearl felt her eyes filling with tears, but hurriedly left the room, at least making sure that Dolly didn’t have the satisfaction of seeing them, something she obviously enjoyed.

Oh, if only Kevin would get a job, Pearl thought for the thousandth time. If only they had a place of their own.