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Authors: Kate Kelly

Only You (7 page)

BOOK: Only You
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He felt stunned, as though a horse had kicked him in the head. “You want to have a baby, and you decided I would be the father?”

“Donor. Yes.” She paced the ground in front of him. “I’ve always wanted a baby. Someone I could call my own. But Dominic insisted we wait, and then he got his mistress pregnant and asked for a divorce so he could marry her.”

A donor? Man, had she picked the wrong guy. Anger percolated in his gut.

“It wasn’t that he didn’t want children. He didn’t want them with me. I’m thirty-six. If I’m going to have a baby, it has to be now.”

“There are so many things wrong with your idea, I don’t know where to start.”

“I know,” she wailed. “But I’m finally free, and I don’t want a relationship. I can take care of myself and a baby. I have money. I’m going to buy a house and settle down. Be a part of a community. I want the donor to be someone strong and smart, but I don’t want a relationship. Can you understand?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “You planned to never tell the
donor
,”—he stressed the word—“that you had his child?”

“I would have. Maybe,” she admitted. “But later. When the child is four or five.”

“Don’t you think he’d want to be part of his child’s life?”

“Plenty of guys get women pregnant and want nothing to do with the baby.”

“And you think I’m one of those guys.” He didn’t know what to do with his hands. Finally he shoved them in the pockets of his denim jacket.

“I didn’t know you. I still don’t, but I can tell you’d never walk away from your responsibilities. And I like you. That’s why we can’t do . . . this.” She waved her hand back and forth between them.

“We can’t spend time together because you like me?”

“Right. I guess.”

He nodded and stood.
Don’t yell. Be reasonable.
He wiped a hand over his face. “There are men who donate their sperm so women can have children.” See? He could handle this.

Her cheeks turned pink again as she continued to stare at the ground. “I wanted the experience to be pleasurable.”

“Do you know how dangerous having random sex can be?” he pushed out through clenched teeth. “What if I’d lied? What if I had some kind of disease?”

Her eyes shot to his. “Do you?”

“Christ! No.” He strode over to his horse and swung up into his saddle. He needed to get away from her. He didn’t even know her, not really, and he felt . . . hell, he felt like something precious had been taken away from him. The first minute he’d seen Maggie he’d known she was trouble. “What you’ve done is dangerous and selfish and just plain stupid.”

He vibrated with anger. It drove him crazy to think of Maggie with another man. Because to get what she wanted she’d have to have sex with another man.
A one-night stand
. But wasn’t that exactly what he was to her?

JD gathered the reins in one hand when Boy picked up on his anger and started nervously sidestepping. “Here’s something that’s going to make you feel much better about your decision to continue shopping around. I can’t have children.”

She put her hand over her heart. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, so am I. It’s been . . . interesting meeting you, Maggie Kennedy. I’ll do my best to stay out of your way, and I expect you to return the favor. Take care of yourself.”

He applied the right amount of pressure with his legs, and Boy took off at a gallop. He didn’t know who he was more disgusted with, Maggie or himself. He was tired of living someone else’s life. Ethan could look after his own damned ranch. JD wanted out, and he wanted out now.

Two hours later, JD stood on his front deck and shouted into the phone. He’d come here so he could talk to Ethan in private. And because the ranch no longer felt like his home. Neither did his own house, but he had to go somewhere. What the hell was wrong with him? He was thirty-eight years old, and he didn’t have a life.

“Sorry. I’m back. No more interruptions, I promise,” Ethan said. “Start at the beginning, would you? You want to leave the ranch right away?”

JD squeezed the bridge of his nose. He had one mother of a headache. “Yeah.”

“Kind of sudden. What’s going on?”

JD tried to find the words to explain, but came up empty. He knew this thing with Maggie had a lot to do with how he felt, but it went deeper than that. He’d just met her, so as much as he’d love to lay the entire blame at her feet, the turmoil he felt had to do with him, no one else. He took a deep breath. “It’s like I’ve had blinders on the last three years, and now I don’t. I’m standing in this beautiful house that I designed and built, and it’s empty. I’ve got two stools in the kitchen to sit on and a mattress on the floor upstairs. I’m thirty-eight.” His voice began to rise. “I work on my brother’s ranch and live in my brother’s house and hang out with my brother’s woman. I don’t have a life. I’m living
your
life, such as it is.”

Silence greeted him on the other end when he ran out of steam. Hell. He shouldn’t have spilled his guts. Ethan probably thought he was losing it again and would drop everything to rush home to check on him.

“I think this is good news,” Ethan finally said.

“What?”

“You want your life back. That’s good, JD. Matter of fact, that’s the best news I’ve heard in years. Do you know what you want to do?”

JD sat on the living room floor and leaned against the wall. “Don’t have a clue. I haven’t got that far yet.”

“That’s the easy part.”

“It is?”

“Far as I can see, you can do anything you want. You’ve got money, time, your health. Not much to hold you back from whatever you want to do.”

Except Maggie’s determination to have a child. That detail certainly interfered with what he wished he were doing right now. Making love to Maggie. Talking to Maggie. Eating with Maggie. Anything, as long as it was with Maggie. He closed his eyes. He was overreacting. He hadn’t allowed himself to care for anyone for the last few years. He had to get a grip.

“I’m coming out for a visit,” Ethan interrupted his runaway thoughts. “I’ll try to get away as soon as I can.”

“You don’t have to. I’ll work the ranch until you can find someone else to fill in for me. I’m not going to leave you high and dry after all you’ve done for me.”

“Huh. And here I thought I was taking advantage of you.” 

“Guess it worked both ways. If you do come, I’ll have to buy another mattress for the house. We can pretend we’re camping.”

“If you’re not at the ranch house, I’ll stay in the extra room.”

“There is no extra room. Didn’t Claire tell you another one of her friends is visiting?”

“We haven’t talked lately. Who is it this time?”

“Maggie Kennedy.”

Silence again. JD could almost hear his brother’s mind clicking away. “I remember Maggie,” he said. “She’s hot.”

“Yeah.”

“So, Claire, Maggie and Sammie have taken over the ranch house. You’re at your place. Where’s Dave?”

JD snickered. “Hiding in the barn mostly. He moved to his cabin on the creek as soon as it warmed up this spring.”

“Why didn’t you tell me he’d moved?”

“Why would I?” Dave was a grown man. He could do what he wanted, just as JD could.

“I guess I feel like I’m losing touch with what’s going on out there. Listen, I’ve just about got everything wrapped up with the business. I need maybe another month before I can leave.”

“And you really expect Claire to stay here when you finally move?”

“There is the matter of her twenty-thousand-dollar bonus.”

JD heard the smile in Ethan’s voice. “That smacks of coercion, you know.”

“How pissed off is she?”

“You’ll see for yourself when you fly out. Will this be a surprise visit?”

“It’d be better that way. Give Claire less time to work up a head of steam. JD? Is it too much to ask you to stay on for another month or two? If it is, say so. I can find someone to fill in temporarily. I’m glad you’re ready to make some changes in your life, but don’t jump before you look, okay?”

They’d been a close family, and when their parents had died, he and Ethan had grown even closer. He’d do anything for his brother—except live his life for him.

“Another month on the ranch is fine, but I’m probably going to start looking around at what I want to do. I may hire another new hand to fill in on some of the straightforward work.”

“Sounds good. We’ll talk more when I come. And bro? I’m too old to sleep on the floor. Think you can find some furniture before I arrive?”

Maggie could
. The thought jumped into his head before he could censor it. She’d probably do an incredible job of decorating the house. He couldn’t stand to be in the same room with her, though, and not want to hold her in his arms.

Obviously, he needed to start dating other women. His reaction to Maggie was unreasonable for the amount of time they’d spent together, which was hardly any at all. Things were all out of whack, and he needed to bring more balance into his life.

He picked up the phone again. Ellie had asked him if he wanted to go to the movies the last time he’d eaten at Arnie’s. A little . . . ordinary compared to Maggie. But he might as well get used to it. Everyone seemed ordinary compared to her. Didn’t mean Ellie wasn’t a nice woman, though. Nice was good.

Chapter Four

“Don’t you look all spiffed up.” Dave grinned at JD. “Got a date?”

JD had decided at the last minute that he needed to dress up his jeans and white shirt and had grabbed a suit jacket to wear. He’d been spending as much time as he could in the far boundaries of the ranch, mending fences for the last two weeks. He’d finally gotten so sick of his own company, he’d returned home. He needed to move forward, to get on with his life. “Going to the movies with Ellie. Hey, Sammie.” He nodded at the small woman. “Didn’t see you there. Feeling better?”

“Yes. Thanks. Took me about a week to shake that flu. Ellie had it, too, didn’t she?”

She hauled a bucket of water to the box stall. Sodapop, a roan JD had bought without realizing she was pregnant, was lying down in fresh hay inside the stall. She was due to give birth any time now.

“Did she? I don’t know.” JD looked back at Dave. “You sure you don’t mind if I leave? I can stay if you need me.”

“Sammie and I have everything under control. I’ll call when Sodapop starts giving birth. Clay wants me to call him, too. Said he’d swing by if he’s free later.”

JD let himself into the stall and laid his hand on Sodapop’s side. “Any reason we need the vet? Did Clay say he was worried about Sodapop?”

Dave snickered. “I think he wanted another excuse to visit Maggie. She’s been reeling them in, that one.”

“Hey,” Sammie protested. “Maggie’s my friend. Don’t talk about her like she’s hunting down men. She isn’t like that.”

JD hadn’t spoken to Maggie in the past two weeks, and he’d prefer to keep on that track. He sure as hell didn’t want to hear about her and other men. Not that it was any of his business. He’d moved on. Had put out feelers about designing houses again. Seemed like there might be a few interested clients. He had to drive down to Salt Lake in a week or two to talk to a couple about designing their dream house for them and to take a look at their building lot.

And he was going out with Ellie tonight. They were just good friends, and he didn’t see the relationship going beyond that. But it would be nice to catch a movie and a drink with someone as easygoing as Ellie.

He stood. “Call me if you need me. I can be back in fifteen minutes.”

“Sure thing. Say hi to Ellie for me. Tell her I’ll be in for a slice of her blueberry pie soon.”

“Will do. Thanks for helping out, Sammie. I appreciate it.”

The tiny woman blushed under his gaze. “S’okay.”

Did Dave honestly not see that Sammie spent hours in the barn because of him? The foreman was about ten years older than JD. He probably thought fifty was too old for a woman like Sammie. He’d have to talk to Claire about them. See if she had any ideas how to get those two together. Just because JD didn’t see all that much happiness in his future didn’t mean he didn’t want it for his friend. Any fool could see that Dave and Sammie belonged together.

“Thanks for coming with me to see the movie. I didn’t feel like going alone.” Ellie gazed up at JD with a little too much admiration in her eyes for his comfort.

BOOK: Only You
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