Pale (3 page)

“Being a Pale doesn’t mean you have to give up, Jed,” he said. “You need to get an education. You might be around for a long time. In fact, you might be around forever. But one day, there’ll be more of us than them. Then they won’t be able to keep us in the slums. So you’d better get ready for that day, yeah? You’d better get smart.”

I didn’t want to, but I did what he said.

It was easier this time. I sat with the rest of the Pales at the back of the class. I kept quiet and stayed out of everyone’s way. Nobody took any notice of me. That was how I wanted it.

At lunch break, I hung out with the Pales.

The schoolyard felt dangerous. I knew there were kids who would beat me up, just for being a Pale. I used to be one of them. But when I was with David and his friends, I felt safe. I knew they wouldn’t let anything happen to me. No wonder Pales hung out in gangs all the time. Everyone was out to get them.

On the other side of the schoolyard I could see Sadie and Kyle and the twins. They were hanging out in the usual spot. Kyle had his arm round Sadie. The sight made me burn up. It hadn’t taken her long to get over me!

David saw where I was looking. “Forget her,” he said. “You can’t be her boyfriend now. Not unless she gets hit by a car, too.”

And then I had an idea. An evil, genius idea.

“Hey,” I said. “Don’t they keep some Lazarus Serum at school? In the medical room?”

“Yeah,” said David. “In case some kid at school dies. In case the ambulance can’t get here in time.”

“I know a way that me and Sadie can be together,” I said. “But I’ll need your help.”

“Does it mean that much to you?” David asked.

“Yes!” I said.

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll help you.” He looked at me. “What do you want me to do?”

“I need you to help me steal that serum.”

It got dark early at this time of year. We waited till the last bell, then we sneaked into a classroom and hid. We listened as everyone else left the school. Voices shouted down the hallways. Footsteps passed by. All the lights in the classrooms were turned out.

Then there was no sound at all. Only our breathing. The silence was a bit creepy. “I don’t like this,” said David. “We could get into a lot of trouble.”

“You’re dead,” I reminded him. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

We crept out of the classroom. The lights in the hallways were still on. I wondered if they left them on all night.

“This way,” I said.

The medical room was where you went if you needed to see the school nurse. I’d been there a couple of times before. Once I got sick from the burgers in the cafeteria. That was when I’d asked the nurse what was in the medicine cabinet. “Lazarus Serum,” she said. Just in case.

I could tell David was scared. So was I, but I didn’t show it. I wasn’t worried about getting expelled but I was worried about getting arrested. I’d be sent to a juvenile detention for sure. There was no such thing as a fair trial for a Pale. My dad told me that.

We reached the door. “Keep a lookout,” I told David. “There might still be someone around.”

David nodded, his face scared. I started to feel bad about asking him to come along. He was taking a big risk.

I wondered why he’d agreed. Maybe because it was the kind of thing a friend would do.

That stopped me in my tracks. I’d never really thought of him as a friend before.

“Hey,” I said to him. “Thanks.”

He looked surprised. “For what?”

I waved my hand around. “You know. Everything.”

David shrugged, but I could tell he was kind of pleased. “You’re welcome.”

Then I opened the door to the medical room and went in.

It was dark in there, but there was light from the hallway outside. The medicine cabinet was on the far wall. I sneaked over to it and pulled the handle. It was locked. But I had come prepared. I pulled a long

screwdriver out of my pocket. I’d stolen it from the design lab.

I stuck the screwdriver in between the cabinet doors. The lock wasn’t too strong. I could force it off. I leaned on the screwdriver and the metal doors of the cabinet began to bend.

Then I heard something. Faint footsteps, coming up the hall.

Someone was in the school. Someone was coming.

“It’s the janitor!” David whispered from the doorway. He looked scared.

I swore under my breath. Better make myself scarce until the janitor was gone. But when I tried to pull the screwdriver out, it wouldn’t come. It was stuck.

“Jed!” David said. “We have to go!”

“I can’t leave the screwdriver here!” I hissed. “The janitor will see it!” I pulled at it again.

“Come on!” said David. He was frantic now. I looked over my shoulder. 

“Shut the door,” I said. “I’ll meet you outside.”

There was no time for him to argue. The footsteps were getting closer. The janitor was going to appear any minute. So David pulled the door to the medical room shut and ran away. I felt better once I knew he’d gone. I didn’t want to get him into trouble. This whole thing was my idea, after all.

But there was still the problem of the screwdriver. If the janitor looked into the room, he’d see it sticking out of the cabinet. I couldn’t pull it out. So there was only one thing to do. I put all my weight on it.

The lock broke with a loud crack, and the doors banged open.

The footsteps stopped. I held my breath. “Is somebody there?” came a voice from the hallway.

Uh-oh.

The janitor had heard me. I looked around in a panic for somewhere to hide. There was nothing in the room but the cabinet, a little desk for the nurse, and a bed for sick kids. Could I hide under it? No. He’d see me from the door.

The footsteps started again. They were slow now. The janitor knew something was up. I could hear him open doors as he went.

“Hello?” he said. “Who is it? I know you’re there.”

I put the screwdriver in my pocket and opened the cabinet. There it was. The kind of needle they give you shots with. It was inside a plastic bag, which was marked “Lazarus Serum”. I grabbed it and closed the cabinet. Unless you looked carefully, you couldn’t see the broken lock. I just had to hope the janitor wouldn’t look carefully.

He was almost outside now. I needed a place to hide. There wasn’t one. So I did the best I could. I hid behind the door.

The janitor pushed the door open a second later. He peered into the dark room. I held my breath. The door was between me and him.

Light fell from the hallway onto the medicine cabinet. The cabinet door was slightly open. If he saw that, the game was up.

It seemed like ages that he stood there. He knew something was wrong. He’d heard something, but he didn’t know what. Any moment I expected him to notice the broken cabinet.

But he didn’t. He left the room and shut the door.

I breathed out in relief. I listened to his footsteps as they went away down the hallway. Then I took the needle of serum out of my pocket and looked at it. A smile spread across my face.

“This one’s for you, Sadie,” I said.

I found David outside the school gate. We walked back to the Graveyard together, taking the back streets. Walking in the dark was risky for Pales. You always had to keep an eye out for normal kids. If they caught you, they’d beat you up. Just like I used to do.

David was really quiet.

“What’s up?” I asked.

He shrugged.

“You don’t have to feel bad for running off,” I said. “I told you to, remember?”

“It’s not that,” he said. He kicked the ground with his toe. “What do you want the Lazarus Serum for?” he asked.

“I can’t tell you,” I said. “You’ll just have to trust me.”

“I’m not stupid,” he said. “You want it for Sadie, don’t you? You’re going to turn her into a Pale.”

I didn’t answer.

“It’s not right,” he said.

“I’ll tell you what’s not right!” I snapped at him. “She brought me back to life and then she dumped me! She left me like this! A Pale!”

“Being a Pale isn’t so bad,” said David. “Sure, it can be hard. But would you rather be dead?”

A week ago I would have said yes. Now I wasn’t so sure. I’d grown to like David and his friends. They were just like other kids. Except they were dead.

“Listen,” I said. “That girl loved me. And …” I swallowed. It wasn’t easy to admit. “I think I might have loved her, too. So we’re going to be together.” I held up the needle of serum. “I’m going to make her like us.”

David just looked sad.

“I won’t ask you to help anymore,” I said. “Just don’t try and stop me.”

David didn’t speak the rest of the way back. We parted at the border of the Graveyard. He went home. I wondered if he’d say anything to his dad about what I planned. But I didn’t think he would. He wasn’t the sort to tell on a friend.

In my pocket I found some coins I’d found by the side of the road. Then I went to find a telephone booth. I knew Sadie’s phone number by heart.

“Hello?” she said, as she picked up the phone. The sound of her voice almost made me cry.

“Hi, Sadie,” I said. “It’s me.”

I heard her give a little gasp. “Jed?” she asked.

“Right,” I said.

It was like she didn’t know what to say after that. “How are you?” she asked, in the end.

“Not so great, actually,” I told her. “I ran away from home. I’m staying in the Graveyard now. Sleeping on someone’s floor. What about you?”

She started to sob. I hated to hear her cry. “I’m sorry, Jed,” she said. “It’s just that … Well, when I saw you at school … With all those people around … You understand, right?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I understand.”

“When I hear your voice on the phone, I can almost imagine you’re alive again. The old Jed. Not a Pale.”

“I
am
the old Jed,” I said. “And I’m also a Pale.”

There was silence from her end of the phone. We both knew what she couldn’t say. Pales and normal kids couldn’t be together.

“We need to talk,” I said.

She sniffed. “OK.”

“I want to see you,” I said. “Face to face. You owe me that much.”

“Alright,” she said.

“There’s this deserted old apartment building I know,” I told her. “Nobody goes there. Nobody will see us together.”

“Tonight?” she asked.

“Tonight,” I said.

I told her how to get there and we agreed on a time. Then I put the phone down. I patted the needle of serum in my pocket.

“Tonight,” I said again.

The apartments stood on the edge of some waste ground. They were all boarded up and abandoned. It looked like no one had lived in them for years.

I crept towards them across the waste ground. Away from the street-lamps, it was very dark. I was nervous. If my heart could beat, it would have been hammering. I kept on thinking I could hear footsteps following me. But whenever I looked back, I didn’t see anything.

I was scared of seeing Sadie again. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to do what I had to.

It wasn’t murder. That’s what I told myself. If I gave her the serum, she’d die. That was true. But she wouldn’t be dead dead. She’d be like me. And I was alive. My heart didn’t beat, and I didn’t need to breathe, but I was alive.

So it couldn’t be murder.

But then I started to wonder. What was I really doing this for? Was it truly because I loved her? Or was it all to get her back for what she did? Because she had turned me into a Pale and then dumped me?

I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if I could go through with it. I just wanted to talk to her again, face to face. Without Kyle or anyone else around.

The thought of Kyle made me angry. I remembered him with his arm round Sadie. That wasn’t what best friends were meant to do. I’d only been gone a few days and they were already together.

Maybe, if I talked to her, she’d see past the white skin and the strange eyes. Maybe she’d see that I was just me. Maybe she’d be my girlfriend again.

Fat chance.

I reached the building. The door had been boarded up, but the boards had been broken. It was me and Kyle who did that, back when we were friends. We’d gone out to explore together. It all seemed a long time ago now.

I went inside.

It was cold. Thick shadows gathered in the hallways. Water dripped from somewhere above me. There was crap lying all around.

I climbed the stairs and went into the apartment at the top. I knew I’d be able to get inside. Me and Kyle had broken the door down last time we were here.

I was right. The door was half off its hinges. I went in.

The apartment was probably shabby even before it was abandoned. Now it was foul. The carpet was mouldy. The wallpaper was peeling. Everything stank of rot.

Not the best place to meet a girl. But at least there’d be nobody around. No one to see what I was going to do.

I took the Lazarus needle out of my pocket. Faint light from outside shone on the serum. Could I really do it to her? Could I make her a Pale like me? If I did, then she would have to be mine and not Kyle’s.

If I didn’t, then I had to give her up forever.

I heard a voice. “Jed? Are you here?” It was her. She was downstairs. I put the needle back in my pocket as fast as I could.

“I’m up here,” I called.

“Where?” she asked. I could hear she was coming up the stairs.

“The apartment at the top.”

I could hear movement down below. I stood there and waited. After a short while, she appeared in the door of the apartment.

She looked amazing. Even though she was all bundled up in a coat. We stared at each other. Her eyes were so sad.

I knew, right at that moment, that I could never hurt her. I couldn’t turn her into a Pale. She’d saved me, after all. I would have died if it wasn’t for her. It hurt that she’d turned her back on me, but I understood. She just couldn’t face being with a Pale.

Maybe I would have done the same, if it had been her that died.

“Sadie,” I said. “It’s good to see you again.” But she didn’t seem happy to see me. Tears were running down her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.