Paris Summer (17 page)

Janine glanced at her companion. Well, yes, there
were. Mark, for example. He was more intelligent and,
she felt, more to be depended upon in a crisis. The
question was, was he unique? And even if he wasn’t,
would that sort of man ever be interested in her? Not if
Mark was any indication. He had made it pretty clear
that even if Rena had not existed, he would not have
wanted anything more serious than a brother/sister
relationship. Well, what were brothers for, if not to ask
advice? Maybe he could help her sort out how she felt.
She thought she was in love with Sandy, but how could
she be sure? Was it really too much to expect, to expect
bells and whistles?

If Mark noticed her preoccupation, he said nothing.
He seemed satisfied with her noncommittal responses
of “oh” or “I see.” Perhaps he was preoccupied himself.
He only reacted after she had replied, “That’s
interesting,” to the announcement that the museum was closing. He snapped his fingers in front of Janine’s
eyes. “Wake up,” he said, “they’re closing.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I was daydreaming,” she said
with embarrassment.

“I gathered that,” Mark responded dryly as he took
her arm and gently pulled her toward the exit.

Mark’s apartment was on rue Galande, at the back
of a courtyard on the third floor. It was a small studio
for which he paid an exorbitant price but, as he put it,
“I’m paying for the neighborhood.”

Ancient maps and pages of old manuscripts that
Mark had collected hung on the walls. And an
interesting assortment of books filled the small
bookcase that came with the room. The bed, two
chairs, and a small table were the only other pieces of
furniture. Even so, the room seemed full. As Mark
unlocked the door, Janine made an effort to shake off
her reverie. “Well, what are we having for dinner?” she
asked.

“Lasagne. Homemade.”

“What can I do to help?” she asked.

“If you cut up the onions and mushrooms and sautee
them, I’ll do the rest,” Mark said promptly.

Janine liked cooking with Mark. He enjoyed
experimenting as much as she did and they always
shared the work, including washing dishes.

Over dinner, Mark said, “All right, what’s bothering
you, Janine?”

Suddenly she felt defensive. “What makes you think
anything is bothering me?”

He laughed. “You’re very transparent. Especially
when you draw your eyebrows together slightly and
twist your mouth to one side and don’t say a word for twenty minutes at a time. And you hunch your
shoulders.”

Janine grinned and forced herself to relax. “I see.
Well, I was going to confide in you, anyway. It’s about
Sandy.”

She sketched the events of the previous evening
quickly for Mark, and then the phone call this
morning. “And you see,” she concluded, “I just don’t
know what to do. One of these days Sandy is going to
expect an answer and I just don’t know whether I want
to marry him or not.”

“Helene and Jacques seem to feel you should say
no,” Mark pointed out.

“Yes, but I don’t think they’re objective about it. I
mean, Sandy was at his worst last night and they don’t
really like most Americans anyway. Besides, I think
maybe Jacques is not objective because… because…”

“Because he’s attracted to you?” Mark asked. “You
may be quite right about that. Anyway, since he doesn’t
know you very well, his advice isn’t necessarily best.”

“You know me better,” Janine said. “What do you
think?”

Mark leaned back, silent for several moments. At
last he said, “There are really two questions. Are you in
love with him and vice versa? Second, whether you are
or not, would he make a good husband for you? I can’t
answer the first and I think the second is more
important anyway. You’re an independent and
intelligent woman. You’re going to need someone who
is at least as smart as you are and someone who
understands your need for freedom. I also suspect that
behind that quiet, respectable facade, you’re an
extremely passionate woman. Marriage to a man who
sees women as pretty much interchangeable and simply wants someone to run his household and have his
children would never satisfy you, no matter how much
you thought you loved him. Now I don’t know
Sandy…you do. You’ve got to decide how he stacks
up against what you need. And if you’re thinking of
marrying him because you’re afraid no one better will
want you, forget it! Make sure he’s what you want.
Some women could live with less in their marriage, but
you’re not one of them. Believe me, you’d be happier
single than with the wrong man!”

Janine stared at Mark and nodded slowly. “You’ve
given me a lot to think about.” She sighed, “I hate to
burden you with my problems, but I really did need an
objective opinion.”

Mark glanced away. “Objective opinion… yeah,
well, that’s what I’m here for.”

Despite his promise, Sandy did not call on Monday.
Alone for once, Janine spent the day along the quaff,
buying postcards and writing to friends. She even
forced herself to write a long letter to her mother,
mentioning Sandy lightly. She tried not to be angry
over the latest letter from home with her mother’s
comments on Phil and Sandy.

…If he’s another Phil, forget it! I won’t have him
in my home. You’re so naive about men that I wish
Rena were there to take care of you…

In spite of herself, Janine grinned. Really! In some
ways her mother was so naive about Rena. Rena might
be more experienced about men, but Janine was not
prepared to admit her sister was any wiser about them.

In this way the day passed pleasantly enough. It was
a relief to spend an hour over tea at a cafe without
wondering if one’s companion was getting bored.
Occasionally, Janine wondered why Sandy hadn’t
called. But she always concluded he must have had
something else to do. Or perhaps he just needed time by
himself, perhaps to think. Or maybe he felt she needed
time by herself and he was being tactful. That evening,
for once, Janine had no trouble falling asleep.

Janine was preparing to leave for Jussieu when the
phone rang. “Allo?”

“Hi, kitten. It’s me, Sandy. Did you miss me
yesterday? How are you?”

“Fine.”

“Good. I couldn’t see you yesterday because I was
running around to tourist offices and seeing travel
agents. But now I’ve got everything arranged. If you
tell me what city Rena is in I can settle the last few
details and get the tickets. We could leave as early as
Friday if you want,” Sandy said exuberantly.

Janine felt a chill. “Sandy…what are you talking
about?”

“Our trip around Europe. You said you wanted to
go, starting with a visit to Rena. Oh, I get it, you want
to know exactly what arrangements I’ve made. Tell you
what, it’s a beautiful day. Meet me at the boat pond in
the Jardin du Luxembourg and I’ll show you what I’ve
got planned. Then we can go to the travel agency
together. See you in fifteen minutes, love.”

For several moments, Janine stared at the now silent
receiver. Was Sandy crazy? One thing was sure, she was
going to miss the seminar at Jussieu. This had to be
straightened out right away!

Sandy was waiting when she got there. As always,
Janine was struck by how handsome he was and how
welldressed. His hair never looked as though it needed
combing. Janine was calm again, her spirits restored by
the walk. It had to all be a simple mistake.

Without speaking, Sandy kissed Janine. “What was
that for?” she asked.

“Because you’re you,” he answered, “and because I
missed you yesterday.”

Taking a firm hold of Janine’s elbow, Sandy started
down one of the paths, apparently walking aimlessly.
But perhaps it wasn’t so aimless since within a few minutes he led Janine to a rather secluded part of the
park. When they were seated on a bench, he said,
“Now. Tell me what this is all about?”

Feeling herself a coward, Janine hedged, “I’ve
decided not to visit Rena. According to a letter she
wrote Mark, she wants to be alone for a while.”

“All right,” Sandy said patiently, “we won’t visit
Rena. All that means is we have more freedom to plan
our trip. Now, I’ve got some brochures with me…”

Sandy took the various folders out of his jacket
pocket and handed them to Janine. She nervously
flipped through them. Janine hated scenes and she was
very much afraid they were going to have one. At last
she said, “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to travel
together. I mean, the hotels I’d want to stay in and the
ones you’d want…”

“Now, Jenny, if it’s money you’re worried about,
you know I’ll pay for whatever you can’t afford. I’d
even pay for everything if you’d let me.”

“I couldn’t,” she said stiffly.

“Aw, kitten-” Sandy paused as though startled,
then his voice changed tone, sounding slightly
triumphant. “We’ll have separate rooms. After all,
we’re going to be married when we get back to the
States, aren’t we?”

“Are we?” Janine asked. “I’m not as sure as you are
of how I feel. I’ve told you that lots of times.”

“Well, then, this trip is a perfect chance to find out
how you feel,” he answered patiently.

Janine braced herself “I think a better idea would be
for us to be apart for a while to see how we feel.”

“For goodness’ sakes, Jenny, don’t you think I’m in
a better position to decide that than you? How many
times have you been in love? I’ve been in love three times and I think I know a little more about it than you
do!” Sandy snapped.

“I don’t!” she snapped back. “Oh sure, you know
what’s good for you, but you don’t necessarily know
what’s best for me.”

Sandy looked at her incredulously. “After we’re
married you’re going to have to improve your attitude
a little. I’m going to wear the pants in our family. Even
if you don’t think so, I do know what’s best for you.”

“And I tell you, I’m not sure there will be a wedding.
And I’m getting less sure all the time!”

“All right, kitten, calm down,” Sandy said patiently.
“We’ll talk about it after we get back from our trip.
Sooner if you bring the subject up. Wait until you see
the Alps or go swimming on a Greek island. And I’ve
arranged for us to spend two days in Florence. It’s full
of the kind of museums you like.”

Janine forced herself to speak calmly and quietly.
“Sandy, I am not going to travel around Europe with
you.

“Will you at least look at the arrangements I’ve
made?”

“They won’t change my mind.”

“All I’m asking is that you look at them.” Sandy
sighed.

Janine gave in. Sandy had certainly been efficient.
With his schedule they would visit eight countries in a
little over a month and the accommodations in each
city were in new, comfortable hotels. Travel was by
plane, first-class train, or Mediterranean cruise ships.
It was the sort of trip Janine might have chosen for
herself if she had been rich. “Very nice,” she said.

“Then you’ll come?” Sandy asked eagerly.

Janine sighed. “No. I just want some time alone.”

“All right then. You go on this trip by yourself. I’ll
pay for it,” Sandy offered.

“No!” Janine said hotly.

“Why not`? Is it the money? I’m not trying to buy
you, if that’s what you think. I just want you to have an
idea of what life will be like married to me. No more
third-class hotels and second-class railroad tickets,”
Sandy explained.

“I’d have plenty of time to find out after we’re
married!” Janine responded.

And I wonder, she thought, how far I would get
before you showed up saying you couldn’t bear to be
without me.

“All right,” Sandy was saying quietly. “I give up.
Have it your way. We’ll separate. I’ll travel and, at the
end of a month, we’ll meet back here in Paris and see
how you feel. Will that make you happy?”

“Oh, Sandy!” Janine said with relief, turning to
smile at him. “You do understand.”

Sandy looked at her sourly. “Then will you do me a
favor? Go out with me tonight? To a restaurant I
choose? No objections allowed?”

“Of course,” Janine said, relieved to have everything
settled so easily.

“Great. Then go home and fix yourself up and wear
your fanciest dress. And I’ll pick you up at seven
o’clock.”

“Okay.” Janine smiled.

Sandy grinned. “Then scat! Go get ready.”

Relieved, Janine got up and started down the path.
When she glanced back, Sandy was still sitting on the
bench, looking thoughtful.

Back at Rena’s apartment, Janine spent some time deciding what to wear. Not that she had much choice.
She only had one dress that could even be considered
for what she guessed Sandy had in mind. The problem
was, how to dress that up more or should she even try?
At last she decided to forego all jewelry except the
emerald drop earrings her grandmother had left her,
the only real jewelry she had.

Then Janine forced herself to have some tea. She
was still tense after the meeting with Sandy. She knew
now that she could never marry him and wondered
how she could ever have thought she would. Somehow
she must tell him. She couldn’t have him traveling
around Europe expecting to come back and marry her.
Best do it tonight. How she hated scenes! Maybe she
should dress down to convince him she wasn’t really
suitable. No, it would just rob her of selfconfidence
and she would need all she had tonight. Besides, Sandy
would just decide that in the future he should choose
her clothes for her.