Pedal to the Metal: Love's Drivin' but Fate's Got the Pole (The 'Cuda Confessions Book 3) (38 page)

Jonny smiled. “I reckon he’s seen what you can do with the late start. Now what?”

“I need twenty minutes, y’all.” Caine bent from the waist. Wondering if his shoes were untied or something, I let Caroline go, leaning down to see what the problem was. He drove his shoulder into my midriff, knocking the breath out of me.

“After that, she’s all yours.” He straightened, hanging me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. My purse slid off my shoulder, landing with a clatter on the ceramic tile floor. He curled one arm across the back of my thighs and brought his other hand down hard on my ass. 

“Oh, so it’s a party bus.” Phillip’s laughter set off the others. The distance to the bedroom door seemed like forty miles. Blood rushed to my head while my friends laughed and hooted. At last, Caine shoved the sliding panel to the bedroom aside and tossed me onto the mattress.

“’Bout time you grew a set, Caine! Get ‘er done!” I winced at Caroline’s piercing whistle.

“Jet, I will stick my dick down your woman’s mouth later for that crack.” Caine slammed the panel closed. Jonny’s laughter rang through the bus, along with Caroline’s giggles.

“We’re all, um, pretty close.” Caroline’s explanation made me grin, imagining how Harry handled her matter-of-fact admission.

Caine’s smile faded into a look of such intensity, heat flashed over my skin. I clenched my thighs together when his hands went to his waistband, toeing off his boots at the same time. The
thump, thump
of his shoes hitting the floor sent my heart skittering inside my ribs.

He ripped his fly open. “Take off the damn dress. I’m all out of patience with things being between us.”

Caught in his gaze, all I could think was that this was what I’d been searching for the day of Ernie’s funeral.

My relationship with my brothers had always been about three things—sex, speed, and defiance. I needed to defy death tonight and Caine would help me. I took my time sliding the dress over my head, because slowly revealing my bare breasts was the only control I expected to get. When I tossed the dress aside, I felt Caine’s gaze slide over me, as surely as if he’d touched me.

At last, he crossed his arms and grabbed the hem of his shirt. His abdominal muscles rippled when he jerked the garment over his head. 

Soft lighting caressed the dips and planes of his body. The atmosphere in the room thickened with the scent of sex and the heat of expectation. I fought to breathe.

“Now, show me what’s mine.” His gravelly tone scraped something deep inside my core.

You’re looking right at me.

I fell against the pillows and pushed my underwear down my thighs, trying to channel Caroline’s unselfconscious manner. Once I’d kicked free of the undergarment, he pointed to the scrap of nylon lace in my hand.

“Kiss ‘em goodbye. Colt could use a top-five finish this week.” I tossed them. He scooped the lace off the end of the bed.

“Superstitious, much?”

“If it works, I ain’t arguin’ with it. We’ll go buy you some more. Sounds like a good time to me.” He dropped them on the vanity beside the door. His eyes were fixed on mine when he curled his fist around his shaft, tugging the soft flesh toward his navel, the way he had the first time I’d ever seen Caine’s cock—or any cock, for that matter. The same day Colt had driven me to school and touched me like no man had ever touched me.

My nipples swelled into aching buds. I expected him to hurry, but he just stood there, handling his cock and letting me look my fill. His face, his chest, his abs, the flushed head of his cock, his plump balls—each piece of him added volume to the buzz building in me. I wondered if he was thinking about that first day when he’d turned from the sink and changed my life, but didn’t ask, because talking could go so wrong so fast.

When he was rigid, he drove one knee into the mattress.

Crawling over me, he pressed his lips to mine with a sigh that pierced me like a knife. Pulling away, he kissed the end of my nose, sliding his lips along the ridge. He moved them to one eyelid, then the other, before he slid to my ear. His nip of my earlobe made me shudder with anticipation. The next silken touch behind my ear stirred more than my hair. The head of his cock brushed my knee and the heat rolling off him made me sweat almost as much as my guilty conscience.

I fucked up. I fucked up so damn bad.

“I’m scared to death. Scared you didn’t mean what you said upstairs. So you hear me and hear me good. It don’t matter if it takes till you’re twenty-eight, or thirty-eight, or fucking sixty-eight to stop runnin’. You will belong to me. I’m gonna move heaven and earth to see to it you don’t want no other man. Except the men I wanna share you with.”

The tears I’d fought for so many hours sprang to my eyes. He drew back and his eyes held a suspicious gleam, too.
If I let him finish, he’ll feel like a fool when he learns—

“Caine—”

“Hush. I finally know what I wanna say to you.” He leaned in to kiss me. A forceful onslaught might’ve strengthened my resolve to fight his all-out assault on my soul, but his soft exploration broke me in new ways. My spine turned to jelly, my thoughts to mush, leaving me hating myself twice as much as before.

As surely as Caine’s his father’s son, I’m my mother’s daughter.

Settling onto his knees, he slid his fingers through the hair at my temples. “I know you’re gonna run again. I ain’t never gonna chase you, because foxes were born to run, but I’m gonna be right here, waitin’. I’ll take however much time together you give us. Or however little.”

Or however little.
I felt those words like a blow to my chest.

“You can’t say things like that. That’s not fair.”

A sob caught in my throat, but his lips were there to ease it free.

“Not fair.” He didn’t phrase the words as a question. Dragging his fingers through my hair, he let his hands drop to my shoulders. My heart galloped when he curled huge palms around my neck. He rested sandpapered thumbs on the pulse point at the base of my throat. A tender touch, but possessive. I couldn’t survive either, not today, not from Caine. I raked my nails down his back, urging him to switch gears.

“Fair’s for games, Shelby. Don’t’cha know? That’s why folks like sports so much. Only games have rules to make things fair. Life ain’t no game. There’s just one rule. You gotta keep livin’ till you die.” To my horror, tears turned his lower lashes to spikes.

He backed away, dropping kisses along the centerline of my body, only to stop with his lips hovering above my navel. Warm breath swept my belly, stirring the curls over my mound. Heat painted my cheeks.
Anywhere but there!

“Woman, I ain’t dyin’ without you.”

“Caine. Stop talking.” I tried to drag him closer. He clasped my wrist, digging his fingers into my skin.

“We’re doing this my way.” The flicker of pain in his gaze made me let go.

Dropping my hands to the mattress, I fought to endure the tender kisses he placed on my hip and mound. Every heartbeat called me a fool. Every breath dragged his scent into me. Every time I licked my lips all I could taste was Caine. I battled my emotions while he dragged his lips along the sensitive dip where my thigh joined my abdomen.

Each kiss along my inner thigh left a whispered promise. He worked velvet lips down my calf to the spot above the half-boots I’d worn every day since buying them for Ernie’s funeral. I panted. I writhed, fighting to press my knees together to stave off the mounting ache.

My body responded with a gush when he dug hard fingers into my thighs, pinning me the way he wanted, while he worked his way up the other leg. Chill bumps streaked up my legs and disappeared into my channel, where they turned to sparks.

At last, he moved past taunting my core and dipped his tongue into my belly button with a groan. I wrapped my legs around his waist.
Fuck me, dammit.

Ignoring me, he pressed a kiss to each rib. The ticklish touch made me squirm, but Caine wouldn’t be tempted. He dragged his lips along the outer curve of one breast. Want curled low in my belly, until the sensation was nearly a cramp. His chest hair made contact with a nipple. I hissed and tightened my tummy. Now, his shaft lay between my thighs, but he made no move to enter me. I growled and dug my heels into his ass.

Chucking under his breath, he traced my areola with the tip of his tongue. The rigid point begged for attention, but was ignored.

Somewhere between one breast and the other, I gagged the voice in my head that chanted,
idiot, idiot
, so I could feel every thump of his heart.

I pressed my lips together to choke back any words. Admitting how I felt was impossible now. Tears slid down my temples, but I gave up my attempts to urge him along. I had to endure, but I’d been fucked by strangers and not felt such shame.

No. This isn’t fucking. I can’t let him make love to me for the first time when I might be pregnant by another man.

In the next heartbeat, I knew he’d take me in his time. He always had. He always would.

He raised his head and tugged my left hand from his shoulder. With a sinking heart, I watched him focus on the stupid diamond.

“Today was the worst day of my life. You wanna hear about the second-worst?”

To my horror, a tear ran down his cheek and plopped onto my breast. I didn’t want to know, but I nodded.

“Last weekend in Martinsville. When Macy told me that you and her had reached an understandin’ and said she’d get out of our way. So, I gotta wonder why you never called. Why you’re still wearin’ his goddamn ring.”

I opened my mouth, but he shook his head. “Don’t talk. Not yet. I know why.”

“I don’t—”
Can’t cry. Not now.

“I went tearin’ outta their house that day, back at Christmas, after you left with that jerk. Dad jumped in his truck and come after me. Ran me off the road. Yanked my ass outta the cab and pinned me against the side.”

My heart twisted with pain. Caine’s eyes held the same expression they’d had when he’d hauled my suitcase to Robert’s car.

“Dad said, ‘Son, if you ain’t man enough to stand up under the way she’s gonna test you, every fuckin’ day of your life, then let her go. That testin’ ain’t about her bein’ redheaded. She’s not strong because she wants to be strong. She’s strong because there ain’t been no other choice. She will fuckin’ test you, to make sure you’re stronger, till your dyin’ day. Because she’s had a gutful of weakness already.”

Make him stop
.
Give me back my silent Caine. Not the one who drives every word into my heart like a stake.

Caine shifted his hips. At last, the head of his cock nudged my entrance. Resting the weight of his hips on me, he slid his fingers through mine, gripping my hands so tightly that his nails dug into the backs of my hands. Slowly, he lowered his chest to my breasts. His lips hovered above mine.

“So, here I am, baby girl. Skin to skin and heart to heart. Fuckin’ test me, woman. Tell me why you’re still wearin’ his ring.”

No
. I pressed my lips together. The steady
thump, thump
of his heart knocked the faster beat of mine off course, like a damn engine. The traitorous muscle slowed to match his rhythm, like he owned it, and not me.

I could fight my mother. I could fight George England. I could fight the world, but I couldn’t fight my body when it urged me to give Caine everything. I wasn’t even sure that urge was weakness. It felt like something stronger. So strong it teased the words right past my lips.

“I think I’m pregnant.”

He paused long enough to add up that our encounter in Jonny’s shower had been eight weeks ago. Was that... excitement in his damn eyes? The expression dimmed when he realized he’d worn a condom and wasn’t the father.

Caine shook our entangled fingers free. Eyes blazing, he gripped my upper arms. Jerking onto his knees, he lifted me until my nose touched his. His jaw worked, but he said nothing.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I-I haven’t taken a test. I wanted to, but they were locked up behind the counter at the store and I was ashamed to ask someone to get me a box. I decided they’d test me at the clinic anyway, but then, I wasn’t sure I wanted an abor—” The pain in his eyes shut off my babbled rush of words.

For the third time in my memory, his eyes didn’t look black. Tiny starbursts of pale blue danced in the deep navy depths, like whitecaps on a choppy Atlantic Ocean, seen from far, far above. Air from an overhead vent blew straight down on the mattress, chilling the silky spread, but fear sent the shivers up my spine.

Caine never hesitated to drop a hard hand on my ass, but he wouldn’t hurt me.
He won’t hurt me. Will he?

In the next heartbeat, I was pissed off for being scared of him, for even a second.
He’d better not hurt me.
He and Colt had hurt me enough for one lifetime. I’d ached and tossed and turned and yearned for Caine, and for Colt, and for things I knew in my heart were wrong, and he’d made me crave those things.

I hated him because he probably had all the free ass he could handle on the road.

I hated him because he was my goddamn brother and yet, not my brother.

I loved him with every fiber, and hated him because it was so.

So, why not let him feel my pain?  What had Caroline said? The fastest way to get rid of a man was to tell him your troubles?

“I don’t know if it’s Robert’s or Jonny’s.”

He let me fall onto the pillow.

Lurching forward, he slammed his hands into the pillow on either side of my head. My heart jumped, kicking my ribs in a frantic bid to be free. Unwanted tears spilled down my cheeks. I’d never paid much attention to how damn big he was. Since the night I’d turned eighteen, I’d seen him as a gigantic teddy bear that could fuck like a cave man, but cave men did more than fuck, didn’t they? They killed wild beasts with nothing more than rocks and clubs—

“Shelby.” He traced the side of my face with calloused fingertips. My heart lodged in my throat, but I’d die before I flinched. “Don’t you know? All the babies you’ll ever have already belong to me.”