Promise: The Scarred Girl (16 page)

Nea sat beside Miro on the observation deck of the lighthouse. It no longer shone at night, but was one of the best places to watch stars from. Miro always dismissed stargazing as boring. Nea was surprised that he had been eager to accompany her at all.

A cool wind blew in their faces and Miro pressed Nea close to himself. Sometimes he could be really caring, but these moments were rare. Nea let her head fall on his shoulder. She did not know most of the constellations by name, but it was the arrangement of them that remained in her head.

“I do not understand why you like staring at the sky. It's always the same picture, whether it's today, tomorrow, or in a year.”

“It's just fascinating,” Nea countered. Miro did not see the point in it.

“It would be better if they moved, but they are silent and seem stuck to the sky.”

“They move. Very slowly, but they move. And some stars burn out, while others are newly born. It's mystical.”

“It's silly,” Miro wrapped a finger around one of her curls to annoy her.

“You're callous,” Nea replied and punched him playfully in the side. Even if he did not understand, he did not have to call it silly.

“And you're a dreamer.”

“Do you not have any dreams?”

“Of course I do,” he replied promptly and looked Nea in the eye. It was one of the few looks that she did not know how to interpret. It happened in moments of silence when they were both alone or when Miro felt unobserved. He was very serious and his thoughts seemed far away.

“And what are you dreaming?”

Miro hesitated, but then he stuck his tongue out. “I cannot tell you, otherwise it will not come true.”

“Shall we try another house?” Nea asks, unusually considerate.

Kasia shakes her head. “No, there is no need. There is nothing of mine here anyway. They have most likely thrown away all of my things. The house is just as good or bad as any other.”

Nea shrugs and goes cautiously into the interior of the house. To her right she recognizes the remains of a kitchen. Without power, it was probably barely used.

“What are you looking for?” Kasia asks curiously.

“I do not know,” she replies and turns to face her. Her gaze falls to Kasia's feet. “How about shoes?”

Kasia smiles. “Good idea! The bedrooms are upstairs.”

Nea stops in front of the former staircase and stares hesitantly upwards. The steps are all black and covered in soot. In addition, there are burn marks in the ceiling. She doubts that the floor will hold them.

“There's not a chance the floor will hold us,” she says to Kasia.

“Try it at least. You'll be fine!” Kasia urges her on.

“Try it? That will kill me!” Nea grumbles angrily. Kasia with her big belly is one to talk. Her compassion is gone immediately.

“Just wait here,” Nea says to Kasia, she already wants to leave this house alone, but this is the house with the best odds of finding shoes to fit Kasia, of course if she does not find any, she will be angry.

“And what if the Carris come back?” Kasia asks anxiously.

“Then scream loudly and I’ll come rescue you.”

There is no reason for the Carris to return, so Nea is not worried.

She climbs on burned debris and ventures up the stairs. Under a pile of burnt wood, Nea finds several knives, which she pockets. The events of the past few days have taught her that you can never have too many weapons.

Further on, she pushes the remains of a carpet aside with the campaign staff when she hears a loud rumbling followed by Kasia screaming.

She immediately feels more annoyed than worried and bolts after the house looking for the pregnant girl. She looks in all directions and can see neither Kasia nor Arras.

Nea cups her hands to her mouth and cries out, “Kasia!”

Only silence answers. A crow flies overhead.

“Arras,” she screams and runs to the house they left him in. The moment she sets foot toward that house, she notices movement from the other direction and turns around. Arras exits one of the houses carrying Kasia in his arms. She is covered top to bottom with soot. Even her blonde hair is dusted with a black layer.

Nea rushes toward them. “What happened?”

“I fell,” Kasia cries and points to her foot that already looks swollen. “But I found this,” she adds proudly, holding up a singed bag.

“What is it?” Nea asks and takes the bag. Arras sets Kasia on the ground and removes her slippers to examine her foot.

Nea looks inside the bag. It is filled with three baby bottles and some cloth diapers.

“When I first left the village, one of the girls was pregnant. I knew something must have remained!” Kasia says triumphantly. Although she must still be in pain, she smiles blissfully.

Nea turns to Arras. A serious expression lies on his face.

“The bone is not broken, she most likely sprained it. She was lucky.”

“Lucky?” Nea repeats incredulously. “But now the fool is even slower than before!”

Arras gives her an angry look that makes her fall silent immediately. “Your blind rage does not help anyone!”

Nea turns away from him and Kasia. Why does Arras seem to care about Kasia as he does? Why does he try to protect her?

From his backpack, Arras pulls out a pair of boots and puts them on Kasia’s feet.

“They’re too big,” Kasia laments instead of saying ‘thank you.’ Before Nea can complain again, Arras looks her way and she stops.

“At least they have a sole,” Arras replies and helps Kasia to her feet. “Hold onto me.”

He puts his arm around her and she clings to his upper arm. Kasia is short compared to Arras; she is chest-height to him. Arras is larger and wider than most men Nea has seen. He is strong; otherwise he would not have survived alone for as long as he has. While Nea feels safe around him, she does not trust him. Kasia, however, seems to adore him judging from the disarming smile she throws at him.

“We should travel for a few more miles before we rest again,” he suggests. Nea does not know whether that statement is for himself, Kasia, or herself.

Resentfully, she follows Arras and Kasia. Although they are now on the way to Fortania, it will take forever for them to arrive. Hopefully Kasia’s child will wait to be born in Fortania. Nea cannot stand children and has no clue as to how to deal with a birth. She cannot help Kasia in that regard. She sends a silent prayer that it will not come to that.

In the late afternoon, Arras finally stops and lets go of Kasia’s arm, who then falls exhausted on the ground next to a tree. He stretches and presses his hands against his back. Nea had been wondering how long he could carry Kasia. Although she cannot weigh much, it certainly could not have been easy, especially with the child in her belly. Ever since they left the village, they had not stopped once. Nea herself was close to ask for a break, but her pride had forbidden her from doing so. Even though she is still weak, she is stronger than she thinks she is.

“What is it? Why are we stopping?”

“We’ve walked enough for today,” Arras replies and starts collecting sticks.

Nea barely feels her feet, while her injured shoulder throbs incessantly. “It’s still light, we can continue for at least two more hours.” She says. She knows her behavior is childish, but for whatever reason, she has to show Arras how strong she is, that he should not underestimate her just because she’s injured.

Arras does not respond. He acts like he did not notice her demand.

“Can you give me something to drink?” Kasia asks Nea.  She tosses her the half empty water bottle.

“What are you doing?” She asks Arras, hardly concealing her anger. She hates that he does not involve them in his plans. He takes care of everything himself, rather than asking for help. Mostly it bothers her that she is treated like Kasia, completely useless.

“You can see for yourself,” he growls, annoyed and continues to collect sticks. He does not seem to be gathering them for a campfire, because the sticks he is grabbing are too long and flexible.

“No, I cannot see!” Nea shouts.

Arras sighs; it sounds more like a growl. “I’m building us a roof for the night.”

“Us? You mean for Kasia,” Nea hisses.

Her behavior has finally riled even the quiet Arras. He drops the sticks and looks at Nea, full of hostility. “Just leave me alone!”

She bites her lip and feels her heart pounding anxiously against her chest. She does not dare to say another word.

Instead, she starts collecting wood for a campfire. Alone, she would not be brave enough to have a fire, but even though she is afraid of Arras, she feels safe with him.

When she is finished with the fire, she lays out her traps, hoping to catch something to eat. Her stomach has been growling since the previous night. Then she sits down exhausted.

Although Arras reacted angrily to her accusation, Kasia sits alone under the roof he made of branches and leaves. Although there is still enough room for them, neither Arras nor Nea attempt to sit down beside her.

Nea notices that even today Arras sits far away from the fire, almost as though he shuns the light. Though Nea and Kasia can see his face, he does not need to hide any longer. Suddenly Nea realizes her behavior has been silly and is sorry. Arras helps them. It’s not just Kasia who is dependent on his help, but Nea as well. With her injuries, she would be easy prey without Arras’ protection. But instead of showing how grateful she is to him, she only complains about Kasia.

She is too proud to apologize to him, but with an unnatural soft voice, she says, “Good night, Arras.”

She wraps herself quickly in her sleeping bag and turns her back to him. She almost believes she can feel his eyes upon her back, but quickly rejects the idea, he probably did not respond. He has nothing to do with Nea or Kasia, so why does he help them? Nea is only there to deliver Kasia, but what keeps Arras with them?

T
he incessant rustling is the first thing Nea hears when she wakes. Her traps! Immediately she is wide awake and pulls herself from her sleeping bag. Arras also opens his eyes, but Nea ignores him. She sneaks to the closest trap to their camp and suppresses a cry of joy. A raccoon got caught in her trap and is now thrashing wildly for its life. In its thrashing, it has only entangled itself further in the trap.

Nea takes a deep breath before ending the animal’s suffering with one quick movement. Then she releases the lifeless body from the trap and grabs it by the fur. Now it is routine, but in the beginning she would cry whenever she had to kill an animal, and in this the animal’s suffering would be unnecessarily prolonged. So now she does it quick and painless.

When she returns with the animal, she is surprised to find that Arras has already made a fire. When she stands before him, she lifts the animal with a wry grin upon her face.

Arras looks up at her. She believes she sees his mouth begin to twitch, but a smile never appears. “If you want, I can cook it for you,” he replies simply. Nea is immediately disappointed in his words. She had somehow expected praise, that this is something special, and that this is clear proof she is not as useless as Kasia.

Kasia, still sitting under the makeshift roof says, “But what am I going to eat? I’m hungry too.”

Arras stares aghast at Nea. Apparently he thinks Nea is not willing to share with Kasia. He must not understand. She raises her hands defensively. “I cannot help that Kasia is a vegetarian.”

She holds her hand out to Kasia to help her up. “Come on, we can search for berries while I check the remaining traps.”

Although Kasia sighs, she accepts the offer. Together they head out and let Arras tend to the fire.

The other traps are empty, and in one case, broken. An animal must have been able to free itself from the trap. Nea tries to mend it, but makes little progress as there are too many holes in it.

Kasia’s search is fruitless. The only berries they could find are toxic rowan berries. When they arrive back at camp, Arras pulls a stick of cooked raccoon meat out of the fire and hands it to Nea.

He really thought she would not share the meat with him. She owes him too much, so she pulls her dagger out of her waist sheath and carefully cuts the meat into two equal pieces. She hands one of the halves to Arras. “I’m not a monster,” she says emphasizing she knows that is exactly what he thinks of her.

He stares in disbelief, but hesitantly takes the meat. “It has been too long since someone last shared something with me,” he says reverently and gratefully looks into Nea’s eyes. She noticed how dark his eyes are. Most often, she could only look into his face, only so much that you could tell his skin and eyes were dark. But now that the sun’s rays shone directly into his face, his eyes are still a deep brown, almost black color. Around his irises are reddish sparks, almost like a fire.

Arras abruptly turns away. It is difficult for him to look another person in the face any longer than necessary. He prefers to avoid eye contact completely. He sits down and devours greedily upon the meat. It reminds Nea, painfully, of the dog. Is it doing well? Nea is sure the twins will protect it.

After dinner, they carefully put out the fire and break camp again. Nea’s leg is now much better, so she gives the campaign staff to Kasia for support. She admired the fine bear decoration on the handle and in amazement asks, “Did you do that?”

“No, it was a gift,” Nea replies.

“Who gave it to you?” Kasia asks, curiously. Nea has never known anyone who was as pushy as this girl.

So she again tells the story of the bear attack and how a Carris member gave her the campaign staff. All the while she is telling the story, Arras’ back is to them. Either he does not listen as he is not interested, or he does not believe her. But as usual, Kasia is impressed and says, “You really are incredible.”

Nea smiles, her cheeks a slightly pink color. At moments such as this, she hates to admit that even Kasia has some endearing qualities. She can be nice when she wants to be.

After a few minutes, Nea regrets her thoughts as Kasia begins panting and wiping sweat off her forehead. It is still cold, but the march is difficult with her big belly. “Can we take a break?”